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MIL begged to throw a shower

amberyintar amberyintar
in Baby Showers

Ok, ladies-

I'm a little bit nervous to post here, but I need some honesty- please be gentle!

My ca-razy MIL called me when I was 8 weeks pregnant and BEGGED me to let her throw "the" shower. This is a woman who abandoned her kids when my husband, the eldest, was 5 years old, and only came back into their lives when SIL had kids. MIL initally told SIL to abort her first grandchild. When we told the family on Christmas Eve (everyone, inlcuding her three grandkids, was there), she blurted out, "I'm going to be a grandma" and started to cry. SIL and I just looked at each other and rolled our eyes.

So...this is the woman who begs me to throw a shower. After much deliberation, including talking to SIL about it- I agree to let her throw a shower for me- not "the" shower, but a shower for his side of the family.

My question is, how do I rein in her crazy, unbridled enthusiam? I am sooo worried this is going to be the tackiest shower ever. My main concern is that she wants to have that stupid game where people stare at me and try to remember stuff like what earrings I'm wearing, etc, etc. I hate games, but especially games like that! I dread every time I have to call her about anything. Honestly, I'm just hoping she kind of drops the idea- I haven't heard from her in almost 2 months and I'm totally ok with that...

Any advice would be MUCH appreciated- honesty welcome...

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Re: MIL begged to throw a shower

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    amberyintar amberyintar

    imageMandJS:
    Just let her do her thing. Stay out of it as much as possible. Don't bring it up. Etc. 

    Thank you for the advice!! :)

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    amberyintar amberyintar
    imagemsspeedymarie:

    Let her do what she wants, grit your teeth and get through it, and then go home and have a stiff drink... er, a pint of ice cream.

    Can SIL get involved and "help" plan the shower and maybe rein her in a little? That would be my best suggestion. You should stay out of it entirely.

    Thank you- I didn't even think of talking to SIL about getting involved. Good idea. And, yes, I think I'm just going to have to suck it up, huh? Hahaha, the stiff drink sounds amazing right now- guess I'm off to buy some ice cream instead! :)

    BabyFetus Ticker
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    amberyintar amberyintar
    Yeah, I wouldn't ask her to host- just to "corral" MIL a little bit. Thank God for SIL!! Love her lots, it's nice to have someone to roll the eyes with at family functions.
    BabyFetus Ticker
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    BrianaSimonsBrianaSimons
    Well since you told her she could give you a shower you just gotta go with it. Smile and say thank you lol
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    526SadieSadie526SadieSadie member
    imagemsspeedymarie:

    Let her do what she wants, grit your teeth and get through it, and then go home and have a stiff drink... er, a pint of ice cream.

    Can SIL get involved and "help" plan the shower and maybe rein her in a little? That would be my best suggestion. You should stay out of it entirely.

    Yeah, this.

    I get your reservations and this woman does seem to have a screw loose at best.  But if you accept her offer, you kind of have to accept whatever batsh1t enthusiasm she throws at you.  If she asks your opinion, you're well within your rights to say "I don't like that idea, how about this..." or "That kind of makes me uncomfortable what if we did xyz instead..."  She doesn't have to listen, but you tried.

    Don't refer to her shower as not "the" shower - I don't know what that means and to be honest, it's a little rude.  If your mom or someone else is throwing you a shower for your side of the family it might be more to your taste, but that doesn't make it "the" shower, it means you're having two showers - and there's nothing wrong with that.

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    amberyintar amberyintar
    image526SadieSadie:
    imagemsspeedymarie:

    Let her do what she wants, grit your teeth and get through it, and then go home and have a stiff drink... er, a pint of ice cream.

    Can SIL get involved and "help" plan the shower and maybe rein her in a little? That would be my best suggestion. You should stay out of it entirely.

    Yeah, this.

    I get your reservations and this woman does seem to have a screw loose at best.  But if you accept her offer, you kind of have to accept whatever batsh1t enthusiasm she throws at you.  If she asks your opinion, you're well within your rights to say "I don't like that idea, how about this..." or "That kind of makes me uncomfortable what if we did xyz instead..."  She doesn't have to listen, but you tried.

    Don't refer to her shower as not "the" shower - I don't know what that means and to be honest, it's a little rude.  If your mom or someone else is throwing you a shower for your side of the family it might be more to your taste, but that doesn't make it "the" shower, it means you're having two showers - and there's nothing wrong with that.

    Thanks for your advice. Makes perfect sense, I appreciate it!

    Sorry, I can see how "the" shower would come off as rude- I did not mean it that way. I would not refer to any shower over the other as "the" shower- I was trying to clarify that there will be multiple showers, that is all, it just came out wrong in type.

    BabyFetus Ticker
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