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Infertility
Very Scared, Support Needed
Today is 3DP3DT, and I told myself that I would not poas. Today my anixety is at the peak because of the news I got from the lab. I had 4 embryos fertilized and 2 were put in the oven. Today the lab called to say that the 2 they were watching stopped growing. The embriologist said she feel confident that the 2 in the oven will create a pregnancy. She said the 2 put in were the best of the 4. I know that my embryos have better chances to develop on the inside. I can't help but have an ounce of doubt in the back of my mind. I really don't know how to feel and I know what is ment will be. Just worried and every tiny cramp, ache, gas bubble gives me hope but I really want to know if my 2 babies are still cooking. Sad because its too early to test.
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Re: Very Scared, Support Needed
I'm sorry hun, I know how hard & scary this part is. Try to remember that they did pick the strongest 2, and they are in the best environment possible to help them grow. I know I mourned a little when some of my embies didn't make it to freeze. A loss is a loss, no matter where in the process, it still hurts & still shakes your faith.
No matter what happens next, today you are pregnant. You're home to 2 beautiful embies and being the best mom possible. Nothing can take that away. Try to focus on the positive and your own incredible strength (I know it's easier said than done). Good luck! We're all rooting for you!
**TTC #1 Sep 2009-Feb 2013** Me: 33 DH: 32 (healthy, SA = normal)
DX (May 2010) = Lap #1 showed Stage I-II endometriosis. HSG normal. Tx with 6 mo Lupron (which did nothing...) Lap #2 June 2011 to remove endo, uterine fibroid, and polyp
IUI #1-#3 (July-Sep 2011): All Clomid 50 mg + unmonitored IUI = All BFN
October 2011 - April 2012: Outta $$$ (no insurance coverage) = back to tryin' on our own
May 2012 - August 2012: Mental break from trying
October 2012: New OB. Bloodwork normal aside from slightly low progesterone
November 2012: IUI #4: Letrozole 2.5 mg + Novarel trigger + monitored IUI + progesterone = BFN
IVF #1: Long Lupron Protocol,Menopur,Follistim, ER = 2/12/13 27R/26M/23F
2/17/13 Transferred 1 perfect Grade 1 blast. 17 frostbabies.
HPT 7dp5dt: BFP!!! Beta #1 9dp5dt: 108 Beta #2 11dp5dt: 368
U/S #1 3/21: Heartbeat and one perfect bean!! DS born 11/6/13 via c-section
TTC #2 March - August 2015 = all BFNs
Prep for FET #1: Aug 2015: found "mass" in uterus on saline sonogram; scheduled a hysteroscopy to remove.
Sept 2015: Hysteroscopy: mass turned out to be scar tissue(?), all removed. Recheck saline sonogram 2 weeks later showed "stuff" still in uterus (more scar tissue? remnants from surgery? Will see if clears with a period). Recheck saline sonogram 1 week later: all clear! Start Lupron and Estrace. Follow up u/s 2 weeks later: uterine lining only 5mm, add in patches. Follow up u/s 1 week later: uterine lining = 4.3mm (argh!), stop estrace and patches and start estradiol injections twice/week. Follow up u/s 2 weeks later: uterine lining = 5mm
Instructed to keep on estradiol injections and recheck in 5 days = lining still at 5mm. Need to make a decision - go for it? Or toss in the towel w/ this cycle and start all over again next year with a new protocol. Decided to go for it as we had 17 frosties; what have we got to lose??
12/2/15 = transferred 1 perfect Grade B blast
12/9/15 = HPT - BFP!!!!
Beta #1 12/11/15: 236 Beta #2 12/14/15: 503 Please stick little one!!!!
U/S scheduled for week of 1/4/16
Monday and it seems so far away from today.
This! You are the best incubator! Snuggling vibes going your way!
3 Clomid IUIs -- BFNs
IVF #1 never made it to transfer
On "egg health" cocktail DHEA/CoQ10/FRC/Pregnitude/Melatonin
Starting IVF #2 for Feb 2013
Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix
Cancelled mid-cycle due to high P4 levels early on.
OCPs again for IVF 2.5 mid-March. IVF 2.5 transferred two "gorgeous" 5-day blasts and BFFN. Even REI is baffled
On indefinite hold until a huge stroke of serendipity led me to IVF 3 May 2014
Testing found positive cardiolipins/APS, now on lovenox and intralipid infusions
Transfer of 2 5-day blasts and (FINALLY) BFFP!! 1st ultrasound shows two sacs and two HB, but one is sluggish, almost expecting vanishing twin Subsequent ultrasound confirmed vanishing twin, but my other Little critter looks fantastic!
"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it."
-- Margaret Thatcher
DX: DH (30) severe MFI, severely low count & low motility
Me (32): all clear
Appt with Urologist 5/21/12: exam, ultrasound, bloodwork all normal.
Testicular Biopsy with TESE on 6/8/12. good sperm found! (left side only) froze sperm, failed thaw test
Orientation for IVF/ICSI on 6/13/12. Waiting for the green light following biopsy results...results show adequate sperm production both sides.
2nd SA 6/18/12: sample is "adequate for ICSI"
Plan: IVF/ICSI July 2012!
ER: 7/26/12. 15 eggs retrieved, all mature.
TESE/TESA/aspiration from epididymis, no motile sperm found
froze all eggs, the saga of praying for good sperm continues.
8/3/12: 2nd opinion from MFI uro on biopsy slides. Suspects "partial late maturation arrest."
Plan: more SAs, third biopsy/TESE with frozen back-up either from DH or DS.
SA 8/17/12: Zero sperm
SA 8/23/12: Zero sperm
9/26/12: SPERM FOUND! 15 eggs thawed, 12 survived and were ICSI'd, only 3 fertilized normally. Refrozen as embies and will thaw in Nov. Please survive and grow!
All 3 survived the thaw on 11/15/12!
FET 11/17/12: transferred 2, one 4B, one 4C. Beta 11/30:BFFN
moving on to DS
DIUI#1 2/18/13,50mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta 3/4/13: BFN.
DIUI#2 3/19/13, 50 mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta #1 (14dpiui) 4/2/13: BFP!!!! 150. Beta #2 4/4/13: 420 Beta #3 4/8/13: 2691. Beta #4 4/15/13: 15,086
1st u/s 4/8/13 shows one gestational sac
2nd u/s 4/15/13 shows yolk sac, fetal pole and early heartbeat
3rd u/s 4/25/13: measuring right on track. Heart rate 148 bpm
A/S 7/22/13: IT'S A BOY!!
PAIF/SAIF Always Welcome
[IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/2qmon5u.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd243/laurakat24/turkeybaster-1.jpg"[/IMG]
::lurking from Third Party Repro::
i could have written almost this exact same post a week ago! Our path is slightly different because we are using donor eggs, but we had 6 fertilized and transferred the best 2 on day 3. I thought for sure at least 2 of our 4 left over would make it to freeze, but I got the call last week that they did not
I was seriously crushed when I found out. My RE also said that the embryos that didnt make it had no impact on how well the ones they transferred would do.....but it was hard not to feel defeated.
This is such an emotional experience. If you are like me, the loss of control over anything is difficult to deal with!! I too analyze EVERY cramp, twinge, or symptom. I know it's hard, but just try to relax as much as possible. I just tried to stay focused on creating the best home possible for my embies.
I hope the 2ww flies by and you end it with wonderful news!! Thoughts and prayers for you and your 2 embies!!
DD conceived with no issues, but born at 33 weeks due to PPROM
loss #1-06/2010 loss #2-2/2011 loss #3-5/2011
07/2011 dx with a Balanced Translocation
9/2011-decided on domestic infant adoption 10/2011-signed with an agency and getting ready for homestudy
12-2012-after being with our agency over a year and only shown to EM once we decided to talk with RE about DEIVF. Thru a crazy sequence of events we decided to go for it and we picked a donor MUCH quicker than anticipated
1/13/2013-started lupron with anticipated transfer in mid Feb.
ER 2/15 resulted in 15 eggs/10M/6F with ICSI.
2/18 transferred 1-8cell and 1-9cell embie. Snuggle in little embies.
positive on HPT 6dp3dt. Could this really be IT?!?! Beta 14dp3dt=2440. U/S scheduled for 3/20.
NTNP 2009-2012 TTC since 2012:
Jack has handpicked his sibling up there
My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog
