keeping my mouth shut but.....

nosoup4u · February 2013

beany02:
Flame away and call me a B, but im not changing my feelings on this. I find it ironic that the majority of the responses to my post are shaming me for being judgemental, while you all are judging me for posting on an anonymous board that this girl will never even see.

No, you're getting flamed for being a giant arsehole. But go ahead and feel persecuted about people calling you out on a message board.

babyduejune · February 2013

Saltylove:
beany02:
and i also want to add that the pic she posted of him on facebook is of him in the NICU with a tube up his nose (i guess due to the fluid in lungs) and this is a direct result of the decision to induce. its pretty common for a csection baby to have fluid in their lungs since its not squeezed out the way it is during a natural birth. The poor kid has to spend the first day of his life like this instead of cuddled up with mommy, and will probably be fed formula instead of breastmilk first, which will make breastfeeding even harder to establish. It upsets me because his birth didnt have to be like this, there was no medical reason.
A couple of things... Judging any mom whose baby is currently in the NICU is absolutely disgusting. Having your baby wind up in the NICU immediately after birth is one of the most traumatic life events one can experience and you have no place to pass any judgement on this woman-you have abolutely no idea what she might be going through right now, and the only appropriate response to her situation right now is compassion.
You are essentially saying: "Hah, your birth didn't go the way I think it should have gone without knowing anything about your situation. Therefor you deserve to have a sick baby in the NICU, have breastfeeding fail and have poor attatchment to your baby. If you would have just had your baby the way I thought was best, none of this would have happened and you would be a much better mother!11!!!1!" REALLY?You come across as an incredibly judgemental, smug, vindictive biotch.
As somone who planned and prepared for a natural birth, had a great support sytem including a midwife and doula, labored med free for 60 hours, and ended up with an emergency c-section and a baby in the NICU (where incidentally my baby was never once fed formula, and the nurses were incredibly supportive of establishing breastfeeding), I am disgusted by everything you have posted in this thread.
You come across as an incredibly judgemental, smug, vindictive biotch. I sincerely hope you stay away from this woman, because being anywhere near someone like you is the last thing she needs right now.

"As somone who planned and prepared for a natural birth, had a great support sytem including a midwife and doula, labored med free for 60 hours, and ended up with an emergency c-section and a baby in the NICU (where incidentally my baby was never once fed formula, and the nurses were incredibly supportive of establishing breastfeeding), I am disgusted by everything you have posted in this thread" OH MY GAWD. Get a grip on yourself. Stop making OP's post about you, it has nothing to do with you. OP stated the person which she is referencing REQUESTED induction because she was tired of being pregnant. Does that sound the same as you & your scenario of laboring for 60 hours med free?!?, NO! So stop personalizing everything you read on the freaking internet when it doesn't apply to you AT ALL. There are such things as freaking stupid pointless inductions and medically unnecessary C-sections that happen because stupid ass doctors agree to pt's stupid ass selfish requests for non-medically necessary inductions.

sschwege · February 2013

beany02:
and i also want to add that the pic she posted of him on facebook is of him in the NICU with a tube up his nose (i guess due to the fluid in lungs) and this is a direct result of the decision to induce. its pretty common for a csection baby to have fluid in their lungs since its not squeezed out the way it is during a natural birth. The poor kid has to spend the first day of his life like this instead of cuddled up with mommy, and will probably be fed formula instead of breastmilk first, which will make breastfeeding even harder to establish. It upsets me because his birth didnt have to be like this, there was no medical reason.

You can't possible know if this could have been avoided. Perfect example: DS's birth was what they called a 'precipitous birth' meaning he was born extremely fast. He spent two nights in the special care nursery for breathing issues. I had a med-free birth and still had the result you are describing.

For what it's worth they did an IV, but never gave formula/paci at our request. I was able to BF as soon as he was ready, 10 or so hours later. They called me in to feed him every time he seemed interested and he nursed like a champ despite his rough start. To this day we have never done formula.

You need to let this go.

tbjenk · February 2013

MrsBigTime:

I agree. I think it's comments like this that make women who have epidurals or c-sections feel guilty or ashamed about their birth experience. I don't feel better than someone else because I had a "natural" birth, I am just proud of myself, period. I was supposed to be induced, and I would have felt terrible if someone made me feel badly because I had already struggled with the decision myself and ultimately DH and I made the choice that felt the safest and best for us. That's not fair.

Unless someone is being absolutely unsafe or stupid, I think we should give women the benefit of the doubt that given the resources they have (including the recommendations of a medical provider they trust), they are making the best decision for their child.

I couldn't agree more. A balance is needed between making decisions in our own family and yet to still be accepting that others might not make the same choices.

babyduejune · February 2013

Saltylove:
babyduejune:

"As somone who planned and prepared for a natural birth, had a great support sytem including a midwife and doula, labored med free for 60 hours, and ended up withnbsp;an emergencynbsp;csection and a baby in the NICU where incidentally my baby was never once fed formula, and the nurses were incredibly supportive of establishing breastfeeding, I am disgusted by everything you have posted in this thread"

OH MY GAWD. Get a grip on yourself. Stop making OP's post about you, it has nothing to do with you. OP stated the person which she is referencing REQUESTED induction because she was tired of being pregnant. Does that sound the same as you your scenario of laboring for 60 hours med free?!?, NO! So stop personalizing everything you read on the freaking internet when it doesn't apply to you AT ALL. There are such things as freaking stupid pointless inductions and medically unnecessary Csections that happen because stupid ass doctors agree to pt's stupid ass selfish requests for nonmedically necessary inductions.

Fair enough, I do personalize posts like this unnecessarily, and agree the two situations are completely different.

Nevertheless, I think OP's whole attitude towards this situation is incredibly off putting and essentially saying "I told you so" to someone whose baby is in the NICU is pretty brutal.

Just because someone makes a different choice from you, one that you seem to be a poor choice, doesn't give you license to wish failure upon them and feel vindicated if they do fail. Which came across in the breastfeeding comment, and which was why I felt my situation was relateable. I'd feel the same way about someone who wished for a poor outcome in a home birth so they could say "I told you so". It's wrong, and in poor taste.

Eta: I definitely have a tendency to over share. I guess in these parts if I comment I tend to add in some info about my birth because I didn't actually have a NB. Since I planned for and researched NB I don't think it should preclude me from occasionally commenting but agree that I don't need to unnecessarily relate things back to my experience. I already did that in another post today...

I agree overall with you. It sounds like you worked incredibly hard to have a NB, and its incredibly disappointing when that doesn't pan out. But be confident that you did everything you could to educate yourself and choose a birth plan that worked for you and your family. It sounds like the person OP is talking about is kind of the opposite of you. I think as women, we have to be careful not to personalize stuff and feel as though its necessary to constantly justify ourselves, our actions, our births. Everybody tiptoes around not wanting to hurt others feelings and in being PC important issues don't get discussed and change cannot happen. I dislike how OP went about much of her conversation but agree w/what she's getting at.
Personally, I was talked into being induced at 412 with great Bishop score, and almost wound up with a CS bc of a "medically unnecessary" induction. The whole experience sucked. I literally still have nightmares about the whole thing. I'm educated, and yet feel i probably made a poor decision at the urging of my Dr., and allowed myself to be bullied. What I get from OP is judgement of the lady's Dr and "the system" which as far as I see it, is totally warranted. It's a subject that deserves to be brought up repeatedly, ESP if it makes those visiting the NB board rethink an induction which is not medically necessary. It's unfortunate OP was not more tactful in her addressing the situation.

babyduejune · February 2013

BlueDevilLady:
babyduejune:
"As somone who planned and prepared for a natural birth, had a great support sytem including a midwife and doula, labored med free for 60 hours, and ended up with an emergency c-section and a baby in the NICU (where incidentally my baby was never once fed formula, and the nurses were incredibly supportive of establishing breastfeeding), I am disgusted by everything you have posted in this thread"

OH MY GAWD. Get a grip on yourself. Stop making OP's post about you, it has nothing to do with you. OP stated the person which she is referencing REQUESTED induction because she was tired of being pregnant. Does that sound the same as you & your scenario of laboring for 60 hours med free?!?, NO! So stop personalizing everything you read on the freaking internet when it doesn't apply to you AT ALL. There are such things as freaking stupid pointless inductions and medically unnecessary C-sections that happen because stupid ass doctors agree to pt's stupid ass selfish requests for non-medically necessary inductions.
Speaking of stupid asses... 

Aww thanks for the brilliant insight :

babyduejune · February 2013

BlueDevilLady:
babyduejune:
"As somone who planned and prepared for a natural birth, had a great support sytem including a midwife and doula, labored med free for 60 hours, and ended up with an emergency c-section and a baby in the NICU (where incidentally my baby was never once fed formula, and the nurses were incredibly supportive of establishing breastfeeding), I am disgusted by everything you have posted in this thread"

OH MY GAWD. Get a grip on yourself. Stop making OP's post about you, it has nothing to do with you. OP stated the person which she is referencing REQUESTED induction because she was tired of being pregnant. Does that sound the same as you & your scenario of laboring for 60 hours med free?!?, NO! So stop personalizing everything you read on the freaking internet when it doesn't apply to you AT ALL. There are such things as freaking stupid pointless inductions and medically unnecessary C-sections that happen because stupid ass doctors agree to pt's stupid ass selfish requests for non-medically necessary inductions.
Speaking of stupid asses... 

Aww thanks for the brilliant insight!

babyduejune · February 2013

BlueDevilLady:
babyduejune:
BlueDevilLady:
babyduejune:
"As somone who planned and prepared for a natural birth, had a great support sytem including a midwife and doula, labored med free for 60 hours, and ended up with an emergency c-section and a baby in the NICU (where incidentally my baby was never once fed formula, and the nurses were incredibly supportive of establishing breastfeeding), I am disgusted by everything you have posted in this thread" OH MY GAWD. Get a grip on yourself. Stop making OP's post about you, it has nothing to do with you. OP stated the person which she is referencing REQUESTED induction because she was tired of being pregnant. Does that sound the same as you & your scenario of laboring for 60 hours med free?!?, NO! So stop personalizing everything you read on the freaking internet when it doesn't apply to you AT ALL. There are such things as freaking stupid pointless inductions and medically unnecessary C-sections that happen because stupid ass doctors agree to pt's stupid ass selfish requests for non-medically necessary inductions.
Speaking of stupid asses...
Aww thanks for the brilliant insight!
OH MY GAWD, you are SO welcome.

You're SUPER Funny! Confused

Want a personalized experience?

keeping my mouth shut but.....

Re: keeping my mouth shut but.....

Choose Another Board

Search Boards