Does anyone regret doing CIO?

emilyec1 · February 2013

I feel like this is kind of a weird question, but for the MoMs with older LOs who did CIO, do you regret it for any reason? We've been trying everything we can to help these babies sleep, but I feel like at this point I'm just not giving them the opportunity to self-soothe, and naps and nights are nightmarish these days. Psychologically though I just can't get myself to admit that we need to do it. But hearing success stories and how loving and happy your multiples are now will help me...

jenn_darrin1515 · February 2013

we were extrememly lucky in that our girls always went down on their own at nite just fine...until 10-11 months. that's when their sleep went to he!!, and that's when we did modified CIO (went in every 1-5-5 minutes...maybe once we made it to 10 minutes...

doing CIO usually only takes a few days or maybe one week - and the end result is everyone gets the sleep they so desperately need to be happy and healthy...which makes it well worth it in the long run to me.

my girls are still the most loving and cuddley little kids I know...doing CIO with them most certainly didn't do any harm...GL! it isn't easy...but it really is worth it in the end.

Mrs.Greg · February 2013

NO REGRETS! We let our oldest CIO when she was 7 months old and the babies at 9 months. And now they are all awesome sleepers, the babies are great nappers. I wasn't sure if we'd be able to sleep train the babies because they share a room and woke each other up when they cried. But we had to try, they were both waking up once or twice a night to eat. It was brutal. It only took a few nights and then we were golden. I honestly think it was the best choice. Good luck!!

mirnb · February 2013

absolutely no regrets....did it at 6 months and after a few nights bedtime was a piece of cake (and naps too)...I did modified CIO too I guess as I would go in every 5-10mins to replace paci and rub their back quickly, saying "night night time" and then out again....I really believe in this method and I have 2 happy, well attached and well rested boys

BananaPancake · February 2013

I did the exact same as Mirnb for all three of my girls - no regrets, three great sleepers!

Breezy8407 · February 2013

We had sort of a mixed bag of CIO. We really only had to do it with DD as the books describe it. I think it took 3-4 nights? We did the 5 minute progressions and mostly followed Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins. DS had a couple random nights around that time where we would just let him cry, and it was hard because he cried for a long time and would cry harder if we went in and did the timed checks.

Anyway, no. I do not regret it. We never did much for naps, but within the last month they are finally sleeping longer than 30-40 minutes at a time.

We still don't put DD down completely wide eyed awake. I usually hold her and gently rock her for ~ 10 minutes before putting her down. It depends on the night, but she will usually go through her routine of talking and rolling around all over the place before she falls asleep. She does eventually do it though.

Mine don't sleep for 12 hours...only about 10 but our NP says it's normal.

ppants · February 2013

No regrets. My two started STTN at 5-6 mo old, but around 9 mo old we were unable to put them to bed after rocking. The minute we'd like them down, their eyes would pop open. We didn't go back in to check on them because we tried in the beginning and it seemed to upset them more. The second night was the worst. I had to leave the house, but after that it improved and I had two well rested happy babies. My only advice is once you decide to do it, stick with it. GL!

GoMaltby18 · February 2013

I wouldn't say I regret it, but I do wish someone would have told me that it's not necessarily a one-time cure-all. For DS1 we basically had to restart the process anytime we had some sort of transition. So after every vacation, ever move (we're military) every time he was sick, etc we had to take a few nights of letting him cry again and that was pretty rough.

It was much easier going with DS2, but he was a better sleeper to begin with.

jcath · February 2013

No regret. We did it at 5 mos. The girls reverted from one or two night wakings to waking every hour or so. We also used it as an opportunity to transition from rock and plays to the crib. They did great - cried alot the first night but woke up happy, cried a fair amount the second night and slept through the third. We never went in their room -just watched on the monitor.

LALASEPT05 · February 2013

No I don't. That being said we had a pretty easy time of it compared to some. DD was a pretty good sleeper but DS really needed to learn to put himself to sleep. As soon as I would pick him up he'd lay his head right down and go to sleep. So I really worked on it at nap time with him. And he would not cry for more than 20 minutes before I'd go in and sooth him. Even now every once in a while he will test me or he'll get sick and so we have to start again when he gets better. Now though our CIO will last maybe 8 minutes before he goes to bed. Even DD who was always a great sleeper went through a period a few months ago of testing me and ended up doing a little CIO now at 2.5 with her. For some people the CIO lasts hours and hours of going into the room and soothing and then CIO again...but we did not have to do it. It is really hard while you're doing it and even when they cry now I cannot stand it but some times it's just the last resort. I truly think it's harder for the parents than kids...it feels really tough at the time. Good luck!

uspoilme · February 2013

I say do it sooner rather than later. My DS woke up every 1.5 to 2 hours until I let him CIO at 15 months. Yes, that's not a typo. 15 freaking months! I tried CIO around 10 or 11 months but it broke my heart to hear him crying and I couldn't last longer than 5 minutes before I would go in and pick him up. I left the house one night because I just couldn't bear hearing him cry. I returned 45 minutes later and he was still crying. He had cried to the point of throwing up. My husband said he never took a break from crying the entire 45 minutes I was gone. I gave up that night and went back to my sleepless nights.

Eventually my husband put his foot down and said he wouldn't help me at night anymore and I was on my own. After four additional months of sleepless nights I did CIO. My son was pretty stubborn and wasn't interested in giving in. He cried and cried and cried some more. My pediatrician told me to stop going in every 5 minutes and just let him cry until he fell asleep. He cried for 30 minutes the first night and I cried with him. It was really hard to hear him cry and not pick him up. This lasted about a week and then it finally worked! I still rock him to sleep first because he won't fall asleep on his own, but he does sleep through the night (around 9 hours) after being rocked. My only regret is that I didn't do CIO sooner. My pediatrician suggests starting after six months. Things may have been easier on both the baby and us if we had started at a younger age. It's not the easiest thing you will ever do but I know you won't have any regrets. Good luck to you!

Jen0204 · February 2013

It took me a long time to be comfortable with it (especially because our first pediatrician - we switched at 9 months - was very against any sleep training before a year old). We tried at 8 months and tried going in at increasing intervals and it was awful. They were getting increasingly upset, as was I. After two nights I put a stop to it. We tried again 2 weeks later and did extinction CIO (just not going in) and for 2 nights they cried for less then 5 minutes each night and ever since then we have zero issues getting them to sleep at night. The transformation was amazing - they went from needing to fall asleep on us and screaming if we put them down awake to being able to just be put down, then they roll over and go to sleep (or, on rare occasion, play quietly in their crib and then go to sleep).

My only regret is that they're too independent of sleepers now! Even for naps they won't go to sleep on us anymore (unless they're sick). I miss those cuddles, but it was still well worth it.

srbmvp · February 2013

Thank you so much for asking this! DH and I have been so torn on how best to handle this, it helps to hear what others did and what worked best for them. And most of all to know that they won't stop loving me!!!!

Lil Kate · February 2013

CIO was a horror for us. Do it early because I think DS may have been to old but it never worked for us. On day 5 he cried so long he threw up all over and was just miserable. We finally gave up. He was never a good sleeper from birth and was colickly too. He now sleeps through the night at 4.5 years old but it took a very long time of sleepless nights to get there. Since it didn't work for me I am not for CIO but would maybe feel differently if we had a success story.

BabyCarryingVessel · February 2013

We did a modified version and they sleep through the night beautifully. They are happier than ever.

growbeangrow · February 2013

BabyCarryingVessel:
We did a modified version and they sleep through the night beautifully. They are happier than ever.

Please help! How old were they when you started? What did you do exactly? I think your twins are about the same age as mine.

Ourfamilyof5 · February 2013

BabyCarryingVessel - when did you do CIO? Looks like your twins are only about a month older than mine...

We haven't done CIO with the twins, but we did do it with my older DS when he turned 4 months old (as recommended by our pediatrician). He went from waking up constantly, to sleeping through the night...it took 4 nights, each night getting better.

I'm a huge advocate for CIO as I believe the end result is better rested babies though it's hard at first. I'm counting down the days until we can do CIO with the twins. They're almost 4 months old, but we're waiting about a month longer since they were born at 36w4d.

emilyec1 · February 2013

Wow, thanks for the warm responses! It really does my heart good to hear success stories...not only that it works, but that everyone is better for it, because my biggest holdup is worry that they will still love me! Thanks again!

Dragonfly1226 · February 2013

We did Ferber with DS when he was around five or six months old. I read his book twice before going ahead with it. I have not regretted it for a second! Thanks to Ferber, we have a son who sleeps, dh and I sleep, and we are all happier and healthier for it.

macchiatto · February 2013

I don't regret it at all; there ended up being very little crying and it made SUCH a big difference in the amount and quality of their sleep! (Ours, too.

)

Rynleigh · February 2013

I don't regret it at all... Our girls were sleeping in their crib by a week old, and we used the gradual CIO phases.... baby gets a bath, clean diaper, clean clothes, and fed. Baby gets put to bed in crib with binkie and lights off. Baby starts to cry, we check on them and touch their head to remind them we still exist (without turning the light on). We leave once baby is soothed. Baby starts to cry again, we wait 1 minute before our visit. Next cry, 2 minutes. Next cry, 3 minutes. We never go more than five minutes before checking, but it didn't get that far often with either of the girls. We started out proactively getting them up every 3-4hrs at night to feed and change them, and they started sleeping for full 6hr blocks really early (only a month or two old) without any issue, so we moved the feedings to allow them to sleep. We're not doing CIO with the boys yet due to the potential for them to continually wake each other up since they're still sharing their bassinet - but when we move them to cribs we likely will. My girls are perfectly well adjusted, they do not have fears of the dark or bedtime anxiety, they were both night potty trained at 2yrs old and have never had bedtime accidents, they are completely normal, healthy kids. I have found no verifiable evidence that CIO, when done correctly, causes any psychological harm.

leapgirl8 · February 2013

Absolutely no regrets.

From birth, DD cried for at least two hours every night no matter what we did (rocking, soothing, singing, patting, extra-tight swaddle, all that Happiest Baby on the Block stuff). Birth-3 months I felt like I needed to just hold her and be there for her, no matter how useless I felt. But by 4 months I felt like she was old enough to start chilling out a little, and our pediatrician told us that CIO would be no worse for her than what we were currently doing - and she was right. It started getting better right away but took a few weeks to really work. I was pretty immune to the emotional tug of the crying after listening to it in my arms for four months (she always woke up happy to see us!), so it was easy to stick it out. Sickness and travel does interrupt things but at this point going in to soothe them is just a distractor that prolongs the crying. I have no idea how long she would have kept up that two hours of crying if we hadn't done CIO, and I don't want to know!

meldoo2002 · February 2013

NO REGRETS! We did it at 8 months old and it worked beautifully. And we still have great sleepers to this day. One of the best parenting decisions we made.

groovygrl · February 2013

My regret was waiting to do it until 7 months. I wish we'd done it earlier- I wanted to & MH was very resistant and went in to DD in particular CONSTANTLY. We are still dealing w/ sleep issues (bedtime & middle of the night) at 3 1/2 and I truly think the habits put in place in the first 6-7 months contributed to it in a big way.

MuseumMaven · February 2013

I could not have been more opposed to CIO. But after a year of not getting any sleep I finally caved. We put the boys down. They cried. I sat in the hallway and sobbed. Less than five minutes later they were both asleep. It was far more painless than I had expected.

For me, it would still be a "last resort" option, but I couldn't ask for sweeter, more loving toddlers.

sunnybrook. · February 2013

We did Ferber (gradual extinction). It's an incredibly helpful book that explains how to do the method properly. When the girls were 7 months, each one was waking me 4 times a night. I was up 8 times a night nursing! I was a zombie and miserable. We did CIO to decrease it to two feedings a night instead of 4 (they were really small and I didn't want them to not eat). When they turned 1, we dropped all feedings.

CIO was the best decision we made. They babies were happier and I was able to get some sleep and start feeling more present.

ceechie · March 2013

Healthy sleep habits, happy baby or twins edition by dr. Marc weissbluth was our savior. Just follow his method and everyone will be sleeping. He features CIO and why it works, so it takes the guilt away.

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