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Anxiety about death

starrbruinstarrbruin member
in Postpartum Depression

DD is almost 9 months old. I experienced a bit of baby blues when she was first born but since then I've just fallen more in love with her and grown more happy with my life. But for the last month or so, I can't stop thinking about death. My death, her death, etc. I'm not really religious and the thought that we won't be able to be together forever (in some form) terrifies me. I keep thinking that anyone could go tomorrow and what's the point of planning a life if that's the case? I feel like I've brought her in the world only to face a lifetime of sorrow and grieving over others' deaths. I think about tragedies like Newtown and how it could strike any person on any given day.

I'm trying to enjoy every moment with her and live in the present but every time I have a happy moment with her I think about how we'll both die some day. It's causing me great anxiety and really interfering with my day to day life. I have an appointment with a therapist but I would like to know if anyone else has had similar thoughts. TIA!

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Re: Anxiety about death

  • winminpin08winminpin08 member
    I have very similar thoughts.  It really started for me when I got married, I think it was because I all of a sudden had this person in my life that I just could not imagine living without.  It then changed/got worse when I had my first DD.  I don't know what else to say other than you are not alone.
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  • holly321holly321 member

    The same thing happened when I had dd, and like pp said, I think it happened when I got married.  Maybe it is just big life changes.  I hated feeling like death was always on my mind, but it did eventually stop consuming my thoughts.

     

     

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  • Shema N Shema N

    I am SO happy to know I'm not alone in having such thoughts! Yes, I have felt that way since LO was born. It's terrifying and sometimes it consumes my thoughts. I feel like I'm getting old (even though I'm not) and I start thinking about how much time I have left and how quickly the years have gone by and how quickly my kids' childhood will go by and my mind keeps going and going like this..

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  • ebl2ebl2 member
    I feel this way too sometimes. Glad I'm not alone. I'll be nursing DD and just all of a sudden start thinking about death and I'll start crying. I hope it goes away.
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  • Chris*sBrideChris*sBride
    I don't post often, but I found your post and wanted to reply.  You are not alone.  I had the same thoughts and Newtown just put me over the edge.  I was so consumed with anxiety over illness and dying that I had a difficult time eating.  I ended up talking to my OBGYN about it, and he said it sounded like post partum anxiety.  I never knew this existed.  I have been taking anti anxiety medicine, and I feel like my old self again.  I still worry about dying, but I can shrug it off.  Hope oyou can find some help to get back to your old self.
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  • rainbow110rainbow110 member
    I just found your message. I also am new to posting, but wanted to reiterate what others have said. I have struggled a lot with thoughts similar to the ones you've described. I am in therapy currently, and I was diagnosed with post-partum anxiety and prescribed Zoloft. Therapy combined with medication has really worked wonders for me. 
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  • hopefulmom81hopefulmom81 member

    I have had very similar thoughts.  I actually just said to DH yesterday, "I think about dying every single day".  

    You are not alone. 

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