WWYD?

FmrAFBrat · February 2013

DS has been babbling, but only has 2 "real" works" in his vocabulary. He communicates a lot by pointing. His daycare mentioned to me that he is less vocal than the other kids in his class & thought I should get him evaluated. I have the meeting next week.

My DH is very upset & thinks, because DS is very coordinated-runs, puts his basketball in the hoop, and stacks blocks there really isn't a problem. He doesn't want me to have him evaluated because he doesn't see a problem. I'm a at a loss, because I don't really want him to fall behind. I also feel like my MIL may have said something to DH.

FWIW I do have some concerns since I have a mild LD (that wasn't diagnosed until I was in Jr High because I normally got good grades & behaved) and my youngest brother has dyslexia. Your thoughts? Am I jumping the gun too soon.

Karen1998 · February 2013

He may just be a late bloomer for words; boys often are. That being said, there's no harm in going through with the evaluation. To me, it's better to have him evaluated and know one way or the other so you can figure out where to go from there.

Junebug060609 · February 2013

My DS is about the same age and at the same level verbally. One of the PAL ladies is a speech therapist and she gave me a list of milestones she'd be looking for in an 18 month old. I'll see if I can find it and paste it here.

martinimomma · February 2013

Karen1998:
He may just be a late bloomer for words; boys often are. That being said, there's no harm in going through with the evaluation. To me, it's better to have him evaluated and know one way or the other so you can figure out where to go from there.

This. G had issues on the other side of the coin -- gross motor delays -- and we dawdled and dawdled before getting him evaluated. I wish I had done it sooner, if for no other reason than the therapists were very encouraging and made me feel less guilty about it (who, me, feel guilty?) and gave us ideas on how to coax him along. G wound up having a gross motor "spurt" of sorts and catching up quickly.

If my DH was any indication, men are much more hesitant to have things checked out. Probably doubly so if your beyotch of a MIL is feeding him bad information.

SharonB222 · February 2013

18 months here and 2 real spoken words (8 signed words). I am not particularly concerned. My family are early talkers and talk often, my DH's family are late talkers and don't talk much - I figure DD takes after the latter. That said, if my concern rises (talk to me after DD's "well baby" appt next week), I would readily consider an evaluation. I'm big on using resources and would pursue treatment also on the assumption that some extra "attention" would help whether or not it's a "delay" or simply a variation of normal for my DD. My is your DH upset? If it's for financial reasons, ok I get it - prioritize need. If it's for ego (nothing is wrong with my boy), get over it - asking for help is a good life coping skill.

julesjb · February 2013

I don't think you should worry but I do think getting an evaluation is a good idea because it doesn't hurt anything and would probably ease your mind

FmrAFBrat · February 2013

Thanks for the responses. I'm going to do the evaluation.

FWIW my MIL has had my DH against reading any books & doubting what the pedi has said from day one. I think part of it is her guilt that she didn't find out DH needed glasses until he was 2 (probably needed them really early) & the fact that she is a (retired) teacher & knows it all. There is more to the story, but it would require a book (& would explain why I was MIA for a long time). Anyways, DH gets defensive about anything that might be wrong....he almost fired the pedi over weight gain issues (DS had while in MILs care).

melly918 · February 2013

If you're concerned, it can't hurt to look into an evaluation. See if you qualify for early intervention services in your area. My aunt, a speech therapist, sent me this chart (the other pp mentioned looking for one to show you and I remembered I still have it).

https://www.utmb.edu/pedi_ed/HealthDev/References/Articulation_Development.pdf

MickeyM04 · February 2013

RachaelA:
bethanyreese:
Thanks for the responses. I'm going to do the evaluation.
FWIW my MIL has had my DH against reading any books & doubting what the pedi has said from day one. I think part of it is her guilt that she didn't find out DH needed glasses until he was 2 (probably needed them really early) & the fact that she is a (retired) teacher & knows it all. There is more to the story, but it would require a book (& would explain why I was MIA for a long time). Anyways, DH gets defensive about anything that might be wrong....he almost fired the pedi over weight gain issues (DS had while in MILs care).
I know this is always the response people give, but have you guys gone to counseling? I think your DH needs to learn how to separate his mother from things that do not concern her. And you need to be able to talk to him about your concerns (whether it be about your children, your everyday life, etc) without him freaking out.

I'm glad you are getting the evaluation. Everyone is right that it certainly can't hurt anything. I also just wanted to echo what Rachel said about counseling. I think it's a definite problem that DH seems to put more credence in what MIL says than what you say, and that he gets her overly involved in things that are really none of her business. It's your child not hers, and DH more than anyone else should understand that. I'm sure you've expressed your concerns to him before, but if he's not listening, counseling couldn't help.

FmrAFBrat · February 2013

RachaelA:
bethanyreese:
Thanks for the responses. I'm going to do the evaluation.
FWIW my MIL has had my DH against reading any books & doubting what the pedi has said from day one. I think part of it is her guilt that she didn't find out DH needed glasses until he was 2 (probably needed them really early) & the fact that she is a (retired) teacher & knows it all. There is more to the story, but it would require a book (& would explain why I was MIA for a long time). Anyways, DH gets defensive about anything that might be wrong....he almost fired the pedi over weight gain issues (DS had while in MILs care).
I know this is always the response people give, but have you guys gone to counseling? I think your DH needs to learn how to separate his mother from things that do not concern her. And you need to be able to talk to him about your concerns (whether it be about your children, your everyday life, etc) without him freaking out.

DH is really against counseling...although I went anyways for awhile after my loss. Not really sure why. He does feel that I am being mean to his mother by doing things my way & I need to compromise & do things her way. She is an experienced parent...lol. He also said we shouldn't set boundaries with family members (she actually came over to our home for up to 5 days on end when DS was born to "help" even though she lives 40 minutes away). Her reason was she can't see well if it's dark or raining.

I really think he has a lot of guilt. His dad was killed in a car wreck in 2009 and he wasn't on speaking terms with him when he died. He used to have boundaries with his parents and dad's wife back then, but now he just lets his mom call the shots. He freaks out when I question things. I actually encouraged him to talk to someone back then to deal with his feelings.

His mom doesn't really have any family members she is on speaking terms with...and not a lot of friends. Se never remarried after his parents were divorced & DH is her only child. I was always able to get along with her until DS was in the picture.

Izabella22 · February 2013

If it were me, I'd mention it to the pedi that you are concerned and its been noted by your daycare and then go from there with whatever they suggest. If you'd feel better having the eval done - then do it. If its going to bother you not getting it done, doesn't really matter what anyone says, and you should just do it for your own comfort. My DH and I disagree on whats "critical" but when it comes down to it, peace of mind is important and if its something I'm going to lose sleep over I get it checked out. Its simple. So we make lots of trips to the docs, if thats the worst I ever do to my kid then I think I'm ok.

Junebug060609 · February 2013

Here is the list I got from a fellow PAL'er who is a speech therapist. This is what she looks for in kids our LO's age range. The 18 is starred because these are looked for by 18 months, not before.

12- *18* months

Devil >Has an expressive vocabulary of between 5-20 words
Is aware of the value of communication
Follows simple directions, especially with gesture
Practices intonation, sometimes imitating an adult
Devil >Uses mostly nouns with a few others, such as down or up
Music >Uses much, meaningful jargon with inflection and emotion

VeilSdeGTO · February 2013

Junebug060609:
Here is the list I got from a fellow PAL'er who is a speech therapist. This is what she looks for in kids our LO's age range. The 18 is starred because these are looked for by 18 months, not before.

12- *18* months

">Has an expressive vocabulary of between 5-20 words
Is aware of the value of communication
Follows simple directions, especially with gesture
Practices intonation, sometimes imitating an adult
">Uses mostly nouns with a few others, such as down or up
">Uses much, meaningful jargon with inflection and emotion

This is very helpful! Thank you!

I agree with PP that there is a wide range and although your DS may fall within that range, it couldn't hurt to speak with an EI specialist. Plus, I hear it may take a while for them to set up a time to come out and do the evaluation so it might be better just to get on a list.

FmrAFBrat · February 2013

Thanks!

Junebug060609 · February 2013

I have no idea why it showed up with devil and musical note images...it was bullets where I C&P it from...

ellebelle2384 · February 2013

Hi! I'm the slp that Junebug was mentioning. I think you're doing great by being proactive and going forward with the evaluation. Sometimes the process can take a while so if you think you have even some concerns I usually advise parents to go ahead with it. EI services are easier to get before age 3 as pp mentioned. It sounds like you have your initial meeting next week? Usually they will then tell you if your DS would qualify for an eval and then I think it's like a 60 day timeline (at least in my state) to finish the evaluation and meet with you. Then they have 30 days to put together an ifsp (individualized family service plan) that will include all his goals, if he needs services at all. So altogether, that could be up to 3 months from now that he would start getting services, so getting evaluated sooner rather than later is great.

Even if he doesn't qualify, ask for a list of activities that you could be doing with him at home. They should be able to give you some good pointers regardless of whether or not he qualifies. Good luck and feel free to page me with any questions if you have any!

SharonB222 · February 2013

Re: Counseling. My unsolicited advice... In the minimum, be firm about what you need from DH, e.g. for him to support your beliefs and efforts (once in a while to start). For us, it took many pg losses, 1 birth and then 1 more year before my DH went to counselling (by himself). My DH is kind and loving but I'd had enough of his few not-so-pleasant issues. I read him in the riot act is as loving a way as I could.

My DD's well baby 18mo appt is Tuesday when I will ask about my DD's verbal delay. She just added a 3rd word today (in context)... "no" (wonderful - wink).

Want a personalized experience?

WWYD?

Re: WWYD?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards