day care nightmare.long.

Mhaney129 · February 2013

I've told my lady in the past, if you take our son anywhere throw me a text just so I know where he is. Yesterday I text her im leaving work early would pick him up in 45 mins to take a half day. She said they weren't home please don't be upset she was running errands. Then it was she was going to build a bear to get our son a bear, then it was she was going to lunch with her husband and sister. All through texting. I repeatedly asked where she was so I could come pick him up. Would not answer me. Would not answer my phone calls. Then her phone dies.
At this point im at home not knowing where my kid is and her phone is off. Because it dies. I call her husband bc suppossibly he's at lunch with her. He says no, he's at work and doesn't know why she'd say that. So now I'm freaking out. I find out she is 40 mins away at lunch with her sister. So I ask him for her number he doesn't have it.
I stay calm talking to him and say, look at this from my point of view. I took a half day to spend with my son and I have no idea where he is!
Two hrs later she texts me she is home but has to run back out and my son is with her daughter. So I leave a check with her daughter and get my son.
She texts me this long mesage that I responded unreasonable. That if i was going to act crazy like that they didnt want to watch my son anyways and I wont find a day care that is going to tell me where they are at all times and how long they'll be.
Am I crazy here? ???????
I responded with ok thank you. She's like why are you so angry and acting unreasonable. I said she was irresponsible for taking someones kid without them knowing for 3 hrs and then not having a working phone. Of course she responded again that im crazy. So I said thank you for your time we no longer need your services.

WTF!
I hated feeling so helpless not knowing where my kid was and there was nothing I could do! She gave me 3 different stories of where she was. Am I in the wrong here? Would anyone be ok with this. Because that night I was getting more upset with how she was making this like I was the crazy one?????
sorry on mobile.

GRMama24 · February 2013

Not ridiculous. You should be able to know where your kid is at all times IMO. I would be mad. Not acceptable on her part. She is nuts to think otherwise.

Sparty On · February 2013

No. You're not wrong. I don't know of any parent that would be okay with that.

hmp1 · February 2013

I would be livid and find a new provider asap. And I wouldn't pay her for the time she had him after you tried to pick him up. I am so sorry you had to deal with her. She sounds like a piece of work. No matter how unreasonable the parents' requests are, our daycare would never ever call a parent crazy to their face.

BeebopandBuddy · February 2013

Nope, you are not wrong at all IMO. I would have been the same way. Especially when her phone wasn't working and she was clearly lying to you on her whereabouts. I would have been panicked and furious.

Mhaney129 · February 2013

Not licensed. Found her on care.com. all my gfs told me call the police but I didn't know what care she'd be in nothing.

peanutbuttermarshmallow · February 2013

You're not crazy here. The fact that she lied to you about being out for lunch wiht her husband and wouldn't tell you where she was so you could pick up your kid makes me seriously question her ability to care for someone else's child.

You have the right to know where your child is at all times and you should have the right to pick him up whenever you want. I probably would have threatened to call the cops on her and accuse her of kidnapping.

MarisaKathleen · February 2013

It's good that you're going to find someone else--she sounds like a wackado. I would also think maybe you guys should be looking at a daycare facility where no one will be going anywhere and everyone is licensed.

LLeeD14 · February 2013

Mhaney129:
Not licensed. Found her on care.com. all my gfs told me call the police but I didn't know what care she'd be in nothing.

is there a way you can report her on care.com? You should absolutely be able to know where your kid is at all times! There is no reason she should have lied to you that she was with her husband! I'm so sorry this happened to you!

thebanich · February 2013

Uh, I would have been hysterical.

1. She went somewhere without telling you, you already discussed that was a no-no

2. She wouldn't respond to tell you where she was so you could get YOUR kid? WTF?

You are not any where near unreasonable. I got unreasonably upset just reading this. It sounded to me like you were very calm and rational. I would definitely fire her asss and find someone else.

MarisaKathleen · February 2013

LLeeD14:

Mhaney129:
Not licensed. Found her on care.com. all my gfs told me call the police but I didn't know what care she'd be in nothing.

is there a way you can report her on care.com? You should absolutely be able to know where your kid is at all times! There is no reason she should have lied to you that she was with her husband! I'm so sorry this happened to you!

You should be able to report her to care.com. We used them and are completely in love with our DCP, but I remember a feature on there where you can report any issues or dishonest providers.

VineyardMel · February 2013

Oh, HELL NO!

My nanny is also from care.com and you can notify them as well as leave a review. I would lose my *** if I didn't know where E was, especially if she had her out running personal errands. My nanny is not allowed to take her anywhere, at least not at this age. Her attitude and lying to you on top of being unresponsive are beyond not acceptable and you are not the least bit over reacting. I'm glad you fired her!

MRoxy0628 · February 2013

hmp&mrj:
I would be livid and find a new provider asap. And I wouldn't pay her for the time she had him after you tried to pick him up. I am so sorry you had to deal with her. She sounds like a piece of work. No matter how unreasonable the parents' requests are, our daycare would never ever call a parent crazy to their face.

I agree with the bolded. Personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable with my DCP taking my LO out and about. If you are okay with that, but asked that she inform you when she does, then that's what she should do. If she had a problem with that she should have told you from the get-go. Plus, it sounds like she lied to you about where she was, because she didn't want you to get upset, that alone tells me she knew what she was doing was wrong.

thebanich · February 2013

LLeeD14:
Mhaney129:
Not licensed. Found her on care.com. all my gfs told me call the police but I didn't know what care she'd be in nothing.
is there a way you can report her on care.com? You should absolutely be able to know where your kid is at all times! There is no reason she should have lied to you that she was with her husband! I'm so sorry this happened to you!

I would definitely report. No need for this to happen to another mom.

rarazz · February 2013

I would have freaked out and most likely called the police. This is soooooo no okay.

skyejo · February 2013

What.the.fluuuuuuck. This post seriously gave me chills. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It's totally unacceptable on the providers part. You are definitely not in the wrong.

I'm not sure what you could do as far as reporting her (police? care.com?) but I sure hope you are not sending your LO back there.

Mhaney129 · February 2013

I thought of reporting on care.com but didn't want to deal with her anymore of she found out it was me. We live fairly close to each other. I was seeing little things and let them go. When we interviewed we saw 3 dogs and a snake. Then wks go by and we find out about another dog, and a cat and rabbits. You would never know. An extremely nice house and clean. But made me feel like they were hidden ans was with held from us. Everything happens for a reason. I got out early yesterday so this would all come out. I may never have found out she was driving around with him. Maybe she has been all the time. Who knows.

MrsAB1316 · February 2013

Holy crap, are you serious?! No, you're not unreasonable. I'm still trying to calm myself down from reading that. And, she is wrong. MOST reputable DCPs would never take your child ANYWHERE much less not tell you where they are. My blood is boiling and I now wish I had that nutjob's phone number so I could call and give her a piece of MY mind. Whatever you do, do not send your baby back to her. Call Care.com and report her. And, find a Licensed DCP in your yellow pages. Look up their reviews online and talk to other parents in your area.

thebanich · February 2013

Mhaney129:
I thought of reporting on care.com but didn't want to deal with her anymore of she found out it was me. We live fairly close to each other. I was seeing little things and let them go. When we interviewed we saw 3 dogs and a snake. Then wks go by and we find out about another dog, and a cat and rabbits. You would never know. An extremely nice house and clean. But made me feel like they were hidden ans was with held from us. Everything happens for a reason. I got out early yesterday so this would all come out. I may never have found out she was driving around with him. Maybe she has been all the time. Who knows.

I wouldn't leave a review but contact care.com directly.

PS. your DS is adorable. I love the cheeks!

enjoylife · February 2013

Oh my! I would be sooo livid! If she is on care.com give her a scathing review so others see it and steer clear of her and maybe even report it to the people who run care.com so they are aware.
We use a center now but when ds1 was a baby we used care.com to find our nanny/sitter. I'm not comfortable with anyone driving our kids so we made that clear we were hiring them to play/interact etc with them at home or the the park nearby. We didnt provide carseats so they weren't tempted to take him anywhere to do their errands on "our" time. If it was an emergency then we or 911 were to be called. And zoos aquariums etc are places we go as a family. It took us a few tries to find a good nanny, mostly because we kept hiring people who got sick and couldn't watch the kids or were super flaky and forgot to come on time.
So sorry for the stress!

tinyhumantoe · February 2013

GRMama24:
Not ridiculous. You should be able to know where your kid is at all times IMO. I would be mad. Not acceptable on her part. She is nuts to think otherwise.

o.m.g.

why the lies? the bigger questions is what the F was she doing that she couldn't tell you the truth? that is ridiculous.

I chose my current in-home over another really nice lady in a nicer neighborhood because she wanted to be able to take her on errands on a daily basis. Who knows what kind of driver she is, and quite frankly if I want to drop my kid off mid-day or pick up early, I'd like to be able to do that without it being a scheduling nightmare.

It was a hard decision because if the errand lady was indeed an awesome lady, LO would have been able to do so many neat things in the summer like zoos, etc. But I went with the safer bet - there aren't many people who I consider to be great drivers. Gah, just thinking of MIL driving LO around scares me. I don't want DD in & out of a car all day with someone I don't know well. We'll do plenty of fun stuff on our weekends.

Maybe find someone with an in-home that won't leave? It usually means they will have more kids, but that was a fair trade-off for me. Sorry you went through that It sounds like a nightmare.

hmp1 · February 2013

Mhaney129:
I thought of reporting on care.com but didn't want to deal with her anymore of she found out it was me. We live fairly close to each other. I was seeing little things and let them go. When we interviewed we saw 3 dogs and a snake. Then wks go by and we find out about another dog, and a cat and rabbits. You would never know. An extremely nice house and clean. But made me feel like they were hidden ans was with held from us. Everything happens for a reason. I got out early yesterday so this would all come out. I may never have found out she was driving around with him. Maybe she has been all the time. Who knows.

Please do not be afraid to report her/write a bad review on care.com. She is a business owner and needs to take the good with the bad. She f'ed up and needs to be held responsible.

MrsAB1316 · February 2013

Mhaney129:
I thought of reporting on care.com but didn't want to deal with her anymore of she found out it was me. We live fairly close to each other. I was seeing little things and let them go. When we interviewed we saw 3 dogs and a snake. Then wks go by and we find out about another dog, and a cat and rabbits. You would never know. An extremely nice house and clean. But made me feel like they were hidden ans was with held from us. Everything happens for a reason. I got out early yesterday so this would all come out. I may never have found out she was driving around with him. Maybe she has been all the time. Who knows.

PM me her info. I'll write a review. You can't let that go un-reported. That is completely unacceptable and I'd be pissed if I hired her and found out after the fact that she'd done something like this and it never got reported.

Flamingemu · February 2013

Mhaney129:
Not licensed. Found her on care.com. all my gfs told me call the police but I didn't know what care she'd be in nothing.

(Haven't read past this point) Contact Care.com now. Contact them and they will remove her from their site. They are great when it comes to that.

Also, you are not being unreasonable. I would have been livid. I also would have asked the first time I called where she was exactly, don't leave, I will be there in 10. There is no phone tag when you have my child.

olsentobe · February 2013

Mhaney129:
Not licensed. Found her on care.com. all my gfs told me call the police but I didn't know what care she'd be in nothing.

You are not crazy at all. I would be effing livid myself. I would also contact care.com. They do background checks I believe, so at least she wont get another job. Sorry this happened to you!

Megroons · February 2013

Indifferent That lady is loopy! You are not crazy at all either....

Flamingemu · February 2013

Mhaney129:
I thought of reporting on care.com but didn't want to deal with her anymore of she found out it was me. We live fairly close to each other. I was seeing little things and let them go. When we interviewed we saw 3 dogs and a snake. Then wks go by and we find out about another dog, and a cat and rabbits. You would never know. An extremely nice house and clean. But made me feel like they were hidden ans was with held from us. Everything happens for a reason. I got out early yesterday so this would all come out. I may never have found out she was driving around with him. Maybe she has been all the time. Who knows.

She would probably know it was you unless multiple families left at the same time. That being said, it is kind of your responsibility to report her. Not to be a total drama llama, but how would you feel if something happened to another kid she was watching? If you think she would go nutso or something on you, get a restraining order. Not only would I contact Care.com, I would also contact any other parents of kids she watches.

For the second bolded part, I guarantee you she did this all the time and that is why she was being shady. She was scared she was going to get caught going somewhere you didn't approve of. Did your kid ever get that Build a Bear? Why does your 5 month old need a Build a Bear? Sorry you had to go through all that.

icedcoffeeluv · February 2013

I had a tough time with our first DCP that was similar but not as severe as you had. She was in home and she only had my girls. I thought that she was having one other kid as well but she didn't. I knew she was going to take them out in her car on occasion and I was okay with that.

After the first few days it came out that she was bringing her kids to school and picking them up a few times a day. She also drove them across the city at one point. I was uncomfortable with this as I didn't love the idea of them being in the car that much and I didn't like not knowing where they were at all times. I truly don't think she was doing anything wrong and she didn't think she was doing anything wrong so she truly didn't feel the need to tell me.

At the end of the day I think that I wasn't comfortable with the situation and the type of care she was providing so I decided a switch was better for us. I now have a nanny that comes to our house and they don't go out at all yet. Although she knows how I feel about it and I am comfortable if she wants to take them somewhere as long as she tells me and it isn't running her errands etc.

I don't think you are wrong at all and I would be livid if it ever got to the extreme that you went through. To be honest if she was looking for crazy I would have probably been way worse and called police or something atfer a few hours of no response on where she was. Especially after speaking to the husband and she lied to you.

MrsAB1316 · February 2013

I agree with PPs. I probably would have called the cops, myself. Call me over-reacting, but I DGAF.

My God, I'm still just....SHAKING. Also, I want to cry about that Build a Bear. Please take that baby and get him one. lol...

jenndub · February 2013

I would cut a biitch. You have every right to know where your child is at any point during the day. She sounds shady as hell. I agree with pps that she needs to be reported to care.com. Other moms might try to use her if she stays on the site and she should not be watching children. I'm glad that you got your baby back safe and sound, that must have been awful.

jocymama · February 2013

I would have flipped out on her. I am feeling very angry right now and it is not even my child. There is nothing about this story that is okay. You really should report her to care.com. Otherwise someone else's child may end up with her. WOW- I seriously cannot believe someone would do this.

Mhaney129 · February 2013

YEAH! WHERE IS MY BEAR DAMMNIT!

Megroons · February 2013

jenndub:
I would cut a biitch.

Lol. Cut a biitch. I haven't said that in ages.

I will say OP, I think you handled the situation way better than most of us would! I would have been livid and probably would have called the cops well before I got my child back!

LuvSD · February 2013

OMG!! I am with everyone here. This makes me super angry and ragey! I would have freaked the eff out!! I mean maybe this is overreacting but isn't that borderline kidnapping? Taking your son somewhere without you knowing about it and then not being able to contact her on the phone. WTF!?! Also, why lie about going to lunch with her husband??

And leaving your baby with her daughter?? Did you ever agree to that because if not that is also totally messed up.

I would definitely report her to care.com. I would call them, not just leave a review.

Holy crap I am really mad for you. I am so sorry you had to go through that.

emeraldanchor · February 2013

This story made me feel sick to my stomach!

You handled this a lot better than I would have. I would have gotten the cops involved like pp said. You absolutely need to report this to care.com at the least. I'm so sorry you had to go through this experience!

LLeeD14 · February 2013

MrsAB1316:
Mhaney129:
I thought of reporting on care.com but didn't want to deal with her anymore of she found out it was me. We live fairly close to each other. I was seeing little things and let them go. When we interviewed we saw 3 dogs and a snake. Then wks go by and we find out about another dog, and a cat and rabbits. You would never know. An extremely nice house and clean. But made me feel like they were hidden ans was with held from us. Everything happens for a reason. I got out early yesterday so this would all come out. I may never have found out she was driving around with him. Maybe she has been all the time. Who knows.
PM me her info. I'll write a review. You can't let that go un-reported. That is completely unacceptable and I'd be pissed if I hired her and found out after the fact that she'd done something like this and it never got reported.

This exactly! Don't let her get away with this with someone else's kid! Report her!

tinyhumantoe · February 2013

The story about the build-a-bear is a cop-out. Aren't those things expensive? Why a BAB for a 5 mo old? I dunno............ you pay her $xx and she would spend $xx on a bear? No.

thebanich · February 2013

tinyhumantoe:
The story about the build-a-bear is a cop-out. Aren't those things expensive? Why a BAB for a 5 mo old? I dunno............ you pay her $xx and she would spend $xx on a bear? No.

Exactlly. She said this hoping you would think "awww, that is so sweet." No.

MomtobeNJ · February 2013

schiggins:
Mhaney129:
I thought of reporting on care.com but didn't want to deal with her anymore of she found out it was me. We live fairly close to each other. I was seeing little things and let them go. When we interviewed we saw 3 dogs and a snake. Then wks go by and we find out about another dog, and a cat and rabbits. You would never know. An extremely nice house and clean. But made me feel like they were hidden ans was with held from us. Everything happens for a reason. I got out early yesterday so this would all come out. I may never have found out she was driving around with him. Maybe she has been all the time. Who knows.
I wouldn't leave a review but contact care.com directly.

This. Honestly, I think it would be irresponsible to do NOTHING. If you knew she had done something like this with another family before, would you have hired her?

melody921 · February 2013

Steph+J:

holymotherfuckingfuck. hell no. no. no no no.

Our DCP never takes the kids in her car, ever. (There's a park basically in her back yard that they walk to.) I would be LIVID.

Is this an actual DCP? or a nanny or what?

Honestly, I'd report her, if she's licensed.

All of this, especially the last line. The whole situation sounds shady. Not only will you be able to find a DCP that can keep tabs on your kid at all times, I expect that's the norm. She sounds like the crazy one. GL with your DC search. I'm sure it's stressful, but it will be easier than dealing with her.

melody921 · February 2013

Kemare20:

WOW! I probably would have called the cops. She took your son somewhere without your permission and you don't know where she has him and she LIED to you about what she was doing when you called her husband that she reported she was with. You were trying to pick him up and she kept playing cat and mouse with you. With all of that, I think I finally would have broke down and called authorities. Maybe that would have been crossing the line but I wouldn't care at that point. Her job would be over.

Fire her immediately, report her to care.com and find a new sitter!

ETA: Also, she left your son with her daughter?!!! Was she approved to watch your son?! I would FREAK The F*CK OUT!!!

Yeah, this for me too. WTH is that?

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