UO/Judge

mylittlesunshine · February 2013

It's Thursday. Make them good.

Mine is that I judge my friends who choose to SAH and then complain that they don't know what to do during the day with their children (I also see this on my BMB and other boards on TB). I would love to be able to spend that much time with my children.

Helenahhandbasket · February 2013

My UO is really lame.

I love my BOB's furniture. There I said it.

I challenge anyone to sit on my couch, look me in the eye, and tell me they aren't comfortable as h3ll.

mexicolombiana · February 2013

I agree w/you mylittlesunshine.

My U/O or judgment is that I don't understand people who obsess over makeup. I have a few friends like this and it's annoying as hell, like pick something better to obsess over, nobody cares if your eye-makeup is blue today and looks nice.

EDIT: I have another one that I might get flamed on. (related sort of to the post below about praising working moms). I get that being a WM is hard and it's tiring and all that, but sometimes I get annoyed when people make such a big deal about it. It's my life and it's fine. Yeah I'm tired but who cares? Everyone is tired now-a-days with everything going on in people's lives. I sometimes get annoyed when people try to praise everything working moms do since our lives are "SO HARD". I don't think my life is all that hard actually and I bust my butt everyday. I guess this is a stupid judgment, but I just feel this way sometimes.

littlestjerry · February 2013

Helenahhandbasket:

My UO is really lame.

I love my BOB's furniture. There I said it.

I challenge anyone to sit on my couch, look me in the eye, and tell me they aren't comfortable as h3ll.

I don't know what this is!

Helenahhandbasket · February 2013

Little Jerry:
Helenahhandbasket:

My UO is really lame.

I love my BOB's furniture. There I said it.

I challenge anyone to sit on my couch, look me in the eye, and tell me they aren't comfortable as h3ll.

I don't know what this is!

Maybe it's a regional chain?

Bob's Discount Furniture? The Bob-o-pedic? Anyone?

Helenahhandbasket · February 2013

mexicolombiana:
I agree w/you mylittlesunshine.
My U/O or judgment is that I don't understand people who obsess over makeup. I have a few friends like this and it's annoying as hell, like pick something better to obsess over, nobody cares if your eye-makeup is blue today and looks nice.

EDIT: I have another one that I might get flamed on. (related sort of to the post below about praising working moms). I get that being a WM is hard and it's tiring and all that, but sometimes I get annoyed when people make such a big deal about it. It's my life and it's fine. Yeah I'm tired but who cares? Everyone is tired now-a-days with everything going on in people's lives. I sometimes get annoyed when people try to praise everything working moms do since our lives are "SO HARD". I don't think my life is all that hard actually and I bust my butt everyday. I guess this is a stupid judgment, but I just feel this way sometimes.

I totally get what you are saying here. I like my life too- and I don't want anyone to "feel bad" for me because I have to work. I like to work!

All moms should be appreciated. It's hard work.

potbellypig · February 2013

I greatly dislike when SAHM complain by text or Facebook about how much they hate meking supper, how they have a tight budget, how they are tired of cleaning and how their kids are driving them crazy. I know that being a SAHM is no piece of cake, but if all you do is complain about it, then maybe you should get a job to get out of the house a little.

dimondwind · February 2013

I hate "What do you think people judge you for" threads on The Bump, because all the responses are so eye-roll worthy. Responses are usually like, "people judge me for not giving fast food to DS," or "people judge me for still rear facing at 2.5 years" or "people judge me for not giving DD candy."

I, in turn, judge all of THOSE people for using a thread like this to pat themselves on the back.

littlestjerry · February 2013

Helenahhandbasket:
Little Jerry:
Helenahhandbasket:

My UO is really lame.

I love my BOB's furniture. There I said it.

I challenge anyone to sit on my couch, look me in the eye, and tell me they aren't comfortable as h3ll.

I don't know what this is!

Maybe it's a regional chain?

Bob's Discount Furniture? The Bob-o-pedic? Anyone?

I Googled, and the little animated Bob looked like a nice guy. Anyway, I'm all about discount furniture. No matter how expensive my couch is, my kid is still going to vomit on it and rub his boogers on it, so why not spend less so I won't feel bad replacing it more often?

dimondwind · February 2013

I honestly can't tell the difference between a FFFC and an UO. And I agree with your home intruder comment.

LoCarb · February 2013

I've never heard of BOBs and I'm curious...

I judge my healthy,single friends who are in their 30's, have great paying jobs and still live their (healthy) parents, pay no rent and have little expense. I'm thinking the living w/ 'rents thing is part of the reason you are single.

While I'm at it- I also feel if you over the age of 30 you can live alone (assuming your financially stable) and do not need roommates.

I would be cautious dating the above two kinds of ppl. Other baggage like previous marriages and kids no problem. Hey baggage comes with age.

littlestjerry · February 2013

potbellypig:
I greatly dislike when SAHM complain by text or Facebook about how much they hate meking supper, how they have a tight budget, how they are tired of cleaning and how their kids are driving them crazy. I know that being a SAHM is no piece of cake, but if all you do is complain about it, then maybe you should get a job to get out of the house a little.

YES. Complaining about their kids drives me most batty. I get it, kids can be so freaking obnoxious, but some of the SAHM's I am friends with complain about it constantly. Either suck it up or find a part time job and get a break from your little angel!

I also have two F-book friends that post every. little. minute. detail. of their day. Literally, one time one of them posted that they just found an old orange soda stain on the carpet. Look, I know that being a SAHM is a tough tough job, but people who aren't parents don't and this kind of crap just perpetuates the myth that SAHM's have nothing to do!

dimondwind · February 2013

One more - I judge people who knit and crochet. I think this is a boring hobby and when I see someone knitting I always think, "just go to Target and buy a scarf/hat/sweater...they are not that expensive and they are much cuter!"

I never think hand-knitted/crocheted stuff looks good, either.

IdigDirt · February 2013

I judge the people who post those stupid FB statuses that say "I hate cancer/murder/clubbing baby unicorns I bet 97 of people won't repost this because they love cancer/murder/clubbing baby unicorns and wish for all their family members and baby unicorns to be struck dead by cancer/guns or unicorn clubs."

hoping4sticky · February 2013

I judged my SIL this weekend. She was talking about he 'they were having such a hard time finding research and writing a paper' and how she had to be careful what went into it. Um how about you let your 11 yo write his own paper? Her response to a C before was to blame the teacher and say 'you deserved an A'. Zip it!

I really hope that I never become a helicopter parent.

potbellypig · February 2013

Little Jerry:

potbellypig:
I greatly dislike when SAHM complain by text or Facebook about how much they hate meking supper, how they have a tight budget, how they are tired of cleaning and how their kids are driving them crazy. I know that being a SAHM is no piece of cake, but if all you do is complain about it, then maybe you should get a job to get out of the house a little.

YES. Complaining about their kids drives me most batty. I get it, kids can be so freaking obnoxious, but some of the SAHM's I am friends with complain about it constantly. Either suck it up or find a part time job and get a break from your little angel!

I also have two F-book friends that post every. little. minute. detail. of their day. Literally, one time one of them posted that they just found an old orange soda stain on the carpet. Look, I know that being a SAHM is a tough tough job, but people who aren't parents don't and this kind of crap just perpetuates the myth that SAHM's have nothing to do!

Also, this. I have a FB SAHM friend who also posts everything. And THEN her and another SAHM will comment on her post (once up to 156 comments...really? Phone each other for Pete's sake!). I just give my head a shake. If it was a post on something worthy, then fine. But I really don't care if you DD dumped her Goldfish on the floor.

potbellypig · February 2013

Can I another? I guess I'm in a judgemental mood today.

I judge my SIL who acts like she has lots of money and is super-duper on top of things when, in fact, she gets lots of financial gifts from her in-laws (i.e. yearly paid family trips to Mexico and money for kids' college funds) and lots of help from her parents (i.e. free babysitting anytime so that she can clean her house). I don't care that she gets those things, but don't act like you're superior because you take trips and have a clean house. You didn't "earn" it in the same sense that other people do!

MammaBear81 · February 2013

Little Jerry:
Helenahhandbasket:

My UO is really lame.

I love my BOB's furniture. There I said it.

I challenge anyone to sit on my couch, look me in the eye, and tell me they aren't comfortable as h3ll.

I don't know what this is!

It's a north-east thing! I HATE his commercials, but the furniture is good (I have bob-o-pedic lite's for the kids mattresses) and his warranty is great. My friend had her sofa start to come apart at the seams, they repaired it once, when it happened again, they replaced the sofa!

MammaBear81 · February 2013

potbellypig:
I greatly dislike when SAHM complain by text or Facebook about how much they hate meking supper, how they have a tight budget, how they are tired of cleaning and how their kids are driving them crazy. I know that being a SAHM is no piece of cake, but if all you do is complain about it, then maybe you should get a job to get out of the house a little.

I judge anyone who constantly complains about their kids, working, or SAH.... why did you have kids if you aren't going to appreciate them?

And yes, I would kill to be that mom "having" to cook dinner, play with her kids, and take them to all of their activities.

Helenahhandbasket · February 2013

MammaBear81:
potbellypig:
I greatly dislike when SAHM complain by text or Facebook about how much they hate meking supper, how they have a tight budget, how they are tired of cleaning and how their kids are driving them crazy. I know that being a SAHM is no piece of cake, but if all you do is complain about it, then maybe you should get a job to get out of the house a little.
I judge anyone who constantly complains about their kids, working, or SAH.... why did you have kids if you aren't going to appreciate them?
And yes, I would kill to be that mom "having" to cook dinner, play with her kids, and take them to all of their activities.

Yeah I was going to say something like this too. We all complain about our kids from time to time, but if that seems to be the main thing that comes out of your mouth...you have a problem.

Helenahhandbasket · February 2013

MammaBear81:
Little Jerry:
Helenahhandbasket:

My UO is really lame.

I love my BOB's furniture. There I said it.

I challenge anyone to sit on my couch, look me in the eye, and tell me they aren't comfortable as h3ll.

I don't know what this is!
It's a north-east thing! I HATE his commercials, but the furniture is good (I have bob-o-pedic lite's for the kids mattresses) and his warranty is great. My friend had her sofa start to come apart at the seams, they repaired it once, when it happened again, they replaced the sofa!

OMG the commercials are ridiculous!

dimondwind · February 2013

EllaHella:
dimondwind:

One more - I judge people who knit and crochet. I think this is a boring hobby and when I see someone knitting I always think, "just go to Target and buy a scarf/hat/sweater...they are not that expensive and they are much cuter!"

I never think hand-knitted/crocheted stuff looks good, either.

I love crocheting and get many compliments.

What a really random and silly thing to judge.

Sorry I offended you. From now on I'll judge things that only other people think are judge-worthy as well, and change my unpopular opinions to popular opinions.

potbellypig · February 2013

EllaHella:

potbellypig:
I greatly dislike when SAHM complain by text or Facebook about how much they hate meking supper, how they have a tight budget, how they are tired of cleaning and how their kids are driving them crazy. I know that being a SAHM is no piece of cake, but if all you do is complain about it, then maybe you should get a job to get out of the house a little.

Meh, they earned the right to complain just like WMs do. Same could be said about when we complain about being tired, making dinner, cleaning, etc. Stay home and get it down. KWIM?

I do know what you mean. My attitude in general is that if you can't change it, don't complain and if you can change it and are complaining, you're wasting everyone's time. Venting, ok...I get it, we all need to vent. You say your piece and then move on. But complaining every day gets on my nerves.

jlaOK · February 2013

My UO is that I get annoyed when people have their kids constantly stay the night at the grandparents house on the weekends. I have a friend whose kid stays with his grandparents every Friday night so that they can have "date night." Why have a kid if you are just going to pawn him/her off on someone else all the time.

azuremama · February 2013

dimondwind:
I hate "What do you think people judge you for" threads on The Bump, because all the responses are so eye-roll worthy. Responses are usually like, "people judge me for not giving fast food to DS," or "people judge me for still rear facing at 2.5 years" or "people judge me for not giving DD candy."
I, in turn, judge all of THOSE people for using a thread like this to pat themselves on the back.

Yes! Even more I hate the ones who say things like, "I feel bad about how much tv DD watches, but that 10 minutes a day really saves my sanity." It's totally a brag in disguise.

mexicolombiana · February 2013

HilarityEnsued:
mexicolombiana:

I get that being a WM is hard and it's tiring and all that, but sometimes I get annoyed when people make such a big deal about it. It's my life and it's fine. Yeah I'm tired but who cares? Everyone is tired now-a-days with everything going on in people's lives. I sometimes get annoyed when people try to praise everything working moms do since our lives are "SO HARD". I don't think my life is all that hard actually and I bust my butt everyday. I guess this is a stupid judgment, but I just feel this way sometimes.
:::slow clap::: I think a lot of the whining on all sides of the argument can be annoying. Recently it has dawned on me just how much I am responsible for getting done in any given day. And it's never ending. So it's not like I can totally tackle the laundry and it won't be piled back up in a few days. Same with the dishwasher, or tidying the kitchen. But I deal, I'm fine, and I can't really imagine it any other way.

Exactly. Like, I have a friend on FB who complains pretty much everyday about how hard it is to laundry. She means well because laundry sucks, but YES we all do laundry. EVERY SINGLE PERSON I KNOW DOES LAUNDRY. And then you have to do it again next week. I don't mind the complaining really, more how people make such a big deal about doing everyday things like feeding children (I'm pretty sure everyone does that everyday), washing dishes and doing laundry. Bleh.

itsmevkb · February 2013

I judge women who use hormones as an excuse for bad behavior. It is like saying that as women we can't control our own behavior.

Having said that, I thought of a good UO the other day and was saving it for today but now I can't for the life of me remember what it is and I'm going to blame my post baby brain for that!

aglenn · February 2013

azuremama:
dimondwind:
I hate "What do you think people judge you for" threads on The Bump, because all the responses are so eye-roll worthy. Responses are usually like, "people judge me for not giving fast food to DS," or "people judge me for still rear facing at 2.5 years" or "people judge me for not giving DD candy."
I, in turn, judge all of THOSE people for using a thread like this to pat themselves on the back.
Yes! Even more I hate the ones who say things like, "I feel bad about how much tv DD watches, but that 10 minutes a day really saves my sanity." It's totally a brag in disguise.

Haha, these crack me up! I totally think soooo many posts on TB are complete and utter lies.

littlestjerry · February 2013

HilarityEnsued:

jlaOK:
My UO is that I get annoyed when people have their kids constantly stay the night at the grandparents house on the weekends. I have a friend whose kid stays with his grandparents every Friday night so that they can have "date night." Why have a kid if you are just going to pawn him/her off on someone else all the time.

This is ridiculous. Having a kid stay with the grandparents once a freaking week is hardly "pawning them off on someone else all the time". If that is what they need for them in their marriage, more power to them. It can be incredibly refreshing to have a night without the kids.

I would personally feel bad doing it weekly, but my parents would be willing. I also do it at least once a month, and it's an incredible mental health outing.

But you do say you feel bad doing it every week, so there must be something you find offputting about it, right? Even if your parents would gladly do it?

azuremama · February 2013

We don't have our kids stay at my mom's house, but she comes over and watches them almost once a week sometimes during dinner/bedtime. I hardly think that missing a few hours once a week (especially when the kids are sleeping for a lot of that time) is pawning the kids off on someone else all the time. Plus, I like that they have a close relationship with their grandparents that doesn't always need me to be in the middle of it.

MamaAllison · February 2013

I hate that it is still so cold here, yet you haven't been able to buy winter clothes in stores for months. Why do the stores put out the summer stuff SOO early? DD moved up sizes recently and I had to order stuff online because I couldn't find any weather appropriate clothing in the stores!!

mylittlesunshine · February 2013

EllaHella:
potbellypig:
I greatly dislike when SAHM complain by text or Facebook about how much they hate meking supper, how they have a tight budget, how they are tired of cleaning and how their kids are driving them crazy. I know that being a SAHM is no piece of cake, but if all you do is complain about it, then maybe you should get a job to get out of the house a little.

Meh, they earned the right to complain just like WMs do. Same could be said about when we complain about being tired, making dinner, cleaning, etc. Stay home and get it down. KWIM?

Regarding the FB thing, I don't ever (and maybe it differs from person to person) see any of my WM friends put on their status: "What a morning, got two little ones dressed, lunches packed, kids fed and out the door and to daycare by 7:30 then on to work by 8. Coming home tonight to cook, bathe and in bed all within a 2 hour span"

I usually get complaints on what to do with their kids. What I would do to have your problem...sigh

ETA: And I can't change it until my house sells

azuremama · February 2013

Here's another one: I judge women who do all/most of the housework (if both people work), and I definitely judge women who do all the laundry. A friend of mine told me, "oh DH wouldn't do his own laundary." What? Your husband is a grown-ass man who can do his own laundry.

littlestjerry · February 2013

EllaHella:
potbellypig:
EllaHella:

potbellypig:
I greatly dislike when SAHM complain by text or Facebook about how much they hate meking supper, how they have a tight budget, how they are tired of cleaning and how their kids are driving them crazy. I know that being a SAHM is no piece of cake, but if all you do is complain about it, then maybe you should get a job to get out of the house a little.

Meh, they earned the right to complain just like WMs do. Same could be said about when we complain about being tired, making dinner, cleaning, etc. Stay home and get it down. KWIM?

I do know what you mean. My attitude in general is that if you can't change it, don't complain and if you can change it and are complaining, you're wasting everyone's time. Venting, ok...I get it, we all need to vent. You say your piece and then move on. But complaining every day gets on my nerves.

I can get behind this.

I don't think the people that are my Facebook friends are even aware of how their compaints are percieved. My friends without kids will be like "Good God, [insert SAHM's name], sure hates her kid, doesn't she?" Of course, she doesn't. I know that because I have a child, and I know how much they can drive you crazy. But, the constant complaining is just too much.

AsOctoberFalls · February 2013

My UO: I wish my facebook friends posted more of their day to day lives. I find it interesting and a fun distraction.

aglenn · February 2013

azuremama:
Here's another one: I judge women who do all/most of the housework (if both people work), and I definitely judge women who do all the laundry. A friend of mine told me, "oh DH wouldn't do his own laundary." What? Your husband is a grown-ass man who can do his own laundry.

See, I would rather do the laundry because then it gets done. DH certainly CAN do it, but he takes forever and never gets it all folded and put away, so it is in process all.the.time. It is easier for me to just throw it in myself. Choose your battles, you know? It's NBD to me.

littlestjerry · February 2013

HilarityEnsued:
potbellypig:

I do know what you mean. My attitude in general is that if you can't change it, don't complain and if you can change it and are complaining, you're wasting everyone's time. Venting, ok...I get it, we all need to vent. You say your piece and then move on. But complaining every day gets on my nerves.

I would say this is the root of my frustration with many of the posts on this board. This is also an excellent life philosophy that I try to live by everyday. Nothing makes me more flucking annoyed than someone whining about something that is just their reality. Sometimes it feels martyr-ish.

The bump and Facebook are both very martyr-y places. Facebook is actually way worse to me. But of course, I'll never remove myself from it because I have a problem.

Maybe my UO should be that I purposely expose myself to a lot of things that just raise my blood pressure. Like, the Today Show. I watch every morning and every morning there's something on there that I rant and rave to DH about while getting ready for work.

jlaOK · February 2013

HilarityEnsued:
Little Jerry:
HilarityEnsued:

jlaOK:
My UO is that I get annoyed when people have their kids constantly stay the night at the grandparents house on the weekends. I have a friend whose kid stays with his grandparents every Friday night so that they can have "date night." Why have a kid if you are just going to pawn him/her off on someone else all the time.

This is ridiculous. Having a kid stay with the grandparents once a freaking week is hardly "pawning them off on someone else all the time". If that is what they need for them in their marriage, more power to them. It can be incredibly refreshing to have a night without the kids.

I would personally feel bad doing it weekly, but my parents would be willing. I also do it at least once a month, and it's an incredible mental health outing.

But you do say you feel bad doing it every week, so there must be something you find offputting about it, right? Even if your parents would gladly do it?

It is on my end, not theirs. They would never complain, but I just know that it's a lot of work to watch DS overnight, and that he sleeps better in his own room than anywhere else.

Another major part of it is that I could not justify a date night once a week from a financial standpoint. I also feel a little differently because DS goes to bed at 7:00 pm and does not make a single peep until probably 6:45 am at the earliest. So DH and I are able to have a staycation date night with no problems anyway. If DS had like an 8:30 bedtime, didn't sleep great, and whatnot, I'd probably feel differently.

This is my point. How does someone not feel guilty for letting someone else watch their kids overnight one night a week. It is not the grandparents responsibility to do this and I think it is a little irresponsible of the parents to expect it. I know my parents would watch DS weekly if we asked, but I would never do this. I think it's healthy and expected to assume that once you become a parent your social calendar is going to change.

gingerfamily · February 2013

mylittlesunshine:
It's Thursday. Make them good.
Mine is that I judge my friends who choose to SAH and then complain that they don't know what to do during the day with their children (I also see this on my BMB and other boards on TB). I would love to be able to spend that much time with my children.

I stayed home for 3 months after # 2 was born. It is hard work. And it is tiring trying to find something for a toddler to do all day long. You don't want to plop them in front of the television all day, you try to be educational, make sure they are learning, etc. I fully understand how it is tiring to try to find activities for them to do (especially if you are on a budget).

Helenahhandbasket · February 2013

HilarityEnsued:
LoCarb:
I judge my healthy,single friends who are in their 30's, have great paying jobs and still live their (healthy) parents, pay no rent and have little expense. I'm thinking the living w/ 'rents thing is part of the reason you are single.
I don't personally know anyone like this but I would totally judge them as well.

I DO know people like this and I can't help but to judge.

I work with a woman who is mid 40s, single, never been married, no kids and lives with her wealthy parents. She doesn't pay rent and they wait on her hand and foot. She is an otherwise normal, healthy woman. It's the weirdest.

jlaOK · February 2013

azuremama:
Here's another one: I judge women who do all/most of the housework (if both people work), and I definitely judge women who do all the laundry. A friend of mine told me, "oh DH wouldn't do his own laundary." What? Your husband is a grown-ass man who can do his own laundry.

Completely agree. Now if your DH cleans bathrooms instead of doing laundry, then that is perfectly fine. Just as long as household chores are split evenly. I'd also put in the same category any DH that "would never change diapers, bathe/feed LO, etc."

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