okay getting worried my daughter doesnt want to potty train

Erinmmo · February 2013

Okay- she is 28 months old and we are moving. The school she is in now is totally okay at her age not being potty trained. My dauther has zero interest in learning right now and as I am calling come new schools for placement want her to be at least on her way. I still have more schools to call- and when I mean schools like a pre-pre school kind of center.

Every time I talk about the potty she (28 months) just doesnt want to go on it and yesterday she pooped and I didnt smell it right away so she like sat in it for a good 10 minutes or so and didnt say anything or to my disbelief didnt even mind being in it. She is not behind in anyway I am aware of- and when I mentioned this to her pedi in October she said to me- if you could go in a diaper all day and have someone change it for you would you want to stop playing to go to the potty? And told me not to worry- Well I have to worry if it is going to affect her getting in to a school type setting.

I really dont want a daycare setting since she is has really adjusted to her current school- UGH- I just dont know what do to- there are all these methods, I am stressed about this move and working full time. I just dont want to push the little girl if she is not ready but we are coming up on 2.5 yrs soon!

Any advice?

memali26 · February 2013

Wait until she's ready. If that means she's in a daycare setting as opposed to school setting a while longer, so be it. I worked in day care with potty training kids and the ones who were pushed before they were ready always took longer and were more difficult to train than the ones who trained when they were ready. Heck, even when my DD was ready it still took 2 months for her to be fully trained, reliably telling us when she needed to go instead of just going when we took her. She was 26 months when we started and not fully trained until 28 months.

ETA: I would also hold off trying to train until you're moved and settled into your new place. That's a lot for a LO to take in, so I would step back and take it one thing at a time.

superaunt · February 2013

heh, no advice. just know you're not alone (my girl is three and still not PT) contrary to what you may think or hear.

poebride · February 2013

Well, my DD told me over and over she didn't want to use the potty. She even had her dolls act out scenes in which they would talk about never using the potty! I wasn't in a rush to PT her since she doesn't go to daycare or preschool and wouldn't be anytime soon, but I didn't want to wait forever and have to deal with 3 year old tember tantrums over it either.

I had heard great things about the Oh Crap Potty Training ebook, so I bought it. Waited two weeks after I read it and just followed the instructions in the book. Our PT start date was 2/2 (she was 33 months old) and she totally had the peeing in the potty thing down in 2 days. She hasn't had any accidents since then. We still have poop problems, but they are not PT-related (we've had trouble getting this kid to poop since she was 10 months old).

So I guess what I'm saying is--don't worry too much about her saying she doesn't want to. I totally though my kid was going to freak out on me when I decided to PT her, but she didn't at all. When you're ready to start training, give it a go and see how she does. And I HIGHLY recommend using the Oh Crap Potty Training method. It was straight-forward and easy and didn't have a lot of "philosophy" to slog through. It was just, Day 1--do this. Day 2--do this.

Good luck!

Emilia0101 · February 2013

Here is my story so to speak. At 2.5 I was set on DD PTing. We had a lot going on like you guys (moving, etc). I bought the stickers, flashy potty, new underwear, but after 2 days into the 3 day PT method she was running away from me peeing her pants and slid head first into the bathroom counter which resulted us both in tears. I felt like every other kid in the world was PT, but mine and it was starting to become a huge obsession for me reading the latest and greatest online. I gave up. 4 months later we brought the PT back out. I talked it up a lot ahead of time with books, and we started again. Within 1 week she was fully pee/poop trained and has had a handful of accidents since.

Bottom line when they are ready it clicks and we as parents can't put a time line on it because it is a battle you won't win. No one ever brags about the age they were PT when they get older.

lite-bright · February 2013

Eh. My DD1 trained at three, and DD2 will be three next month. She isn't PT'd yet and I just can't get all hyper about it this time around. Having done it once, I know it'll happen eventually and I'm not going to force the issue. I hope to have her PT'd by the end of summer.

She'll pee when we put her on the toilet, she's even pooped on her own in there a few times -- but she's just not motivated yet. We tried panties, stickers, etc. and it's all about us initiating; she won't go on her own, or tell us she needs to go; she'll just wet herself unless we get her to the potty in time. Until she makes that connection, it's all external and frankly I don't want to take her every 30 minutes all day -- I'd rather just keep her in diapers, and keep encouraging her and practicing, until she internalizes things a little more and reaches the point of being ready.

stgn01 · February 2013

There was no way my DD would be potty trained at 28 months. That's also when he little brother came, so she had a lot of adjustments to go through. I had every intention of PT over the holidays, but she wanted no part. And she's been showing signs of readiness and going on the potty off and on since 22 months. I said fine, I won't push it. End of January, our dog pooped in the living room. She helped clean it up and then said she wanted to go potty. We've been successfully potty training ever since. It's weird what makes them say, "Ok, I'm ready now."

Seems like you have to find a more understanding school than trying to push her to PT. Moving is a big transition for her and you and she could regress, just like my DD did. A school should me mindful of that. GL! I know how frustrating it can be.

AmericanInOz · February 2013

That's a normal age to train and you're really in no hurry ! I think it's unlikely to be successful anyway with so many other changes at the same time. My dd didn't care about going in her diaper either until she was fully trained, that's normal

sucredee · February 2013

I tried PT DD at 25 months because she was physically ready (didn't show any interest in the potty though) and it was a big failure. We stopped after 2 days because she hadn't pooped for 4 days at that point and I could tell she needed to go but didn't want to. Stickers, chocolate (things she really likes) didn't make any difference. So I backed off completely and didn't even mention her going potty. I did start dumping her poopy diapers in the toilet (with her) and gave her lots of naked time. Most of the time she would hold it until she got a diaper (which was fine) with only a couple of minor accidents which I think made her put 2 and 2 together.

1 month later while on vacation (where she was naked most of the time) I had told her to ask for a diaper if she needed to go or sit on the potty. One day she did just that and that was it. She would tell me when she had to go potty. me asking her always resulted in "no" so i didn't bother. She literally had no interest in the potty until the day she trained and then she was pretty much fully PT with very few accidents. She did both pee and poop from the start. She was out of night time diaper (at her request) 2 weeks later. I think we had one potty related book but that was because she just liked that particular character and all his books. We didn't watch any DVDs because I looked at some of them and they were very annoying.

I would probably back off for a bit. If you can give her naked time and maybe dump her pops in the toilet (if you aren't already doing that) and just tell her poop and pee goes in the potty. Kids like to have control and this is one area where they can have it so if you push it it will likely backfire (as I discovered). Have the potty available but don't even mention it. She's less likely to resist if you don't make a big deal about it. Some kids are fine with being taken to the potty every 30 minutes (or whatever interval) but DD never responded well to that (still doesn't).

get your move over with and let her get settled. Moving will likely a bit stressful for everyone which will make it (PT) a frustrating process for everyone. And as I found out, they may not show any interest in the potty until they are ready to do it.

BelhurstBride · February 2013

DD's 34 months and still have no interest in PTing.

I'm hoping she makes the choice before the next one comes along, but I have zero intentions on forcing her.

BeckyTheEngineer · February 2013

I can't see a reason to be worried if your daughter doesn't want to potty train at 28 months. It sounds pretty age-appropriate. We just went through potty training with my 2.5 year old, and I would not have wanted to go through that while moving. I do find it weird that the preschool you are looking at requires that 28 month olds be potty trained to be in their program, because I have never heard about that in my area. I would likely decide against that program, and go with something that I consider more child-friendly. But, if you want to push potty training now, she's in the ballpark and could be ready.

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