Some of you know this already, but as of 5PM last night the birth parents for the baby boy in foster care have officially chosen us (after an insanely long and drawn out process) and they are going to be signing TPR in a little over an hour from now. We meet our son for the first time tomorrow afternoon (he turns 4 weeks old tomorrow). We will begin transition with the foster family on Friday through the weekend and we bring him home with us Sunday night!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! These last 2 months have been totally a whirlwind. We've only been HS approved 2.5 months, but I still can't believe all that's happened in such a short time; especially with our failed match back right before Christmas and all that grieving that went with that. It's crazy!
We are having a fully open adoption with the birth parents (whom we just adore BTW). They have asked to be present tomorrow when we meet baby for the first time. It's going to be an amazing moment I know will be one of the most important days of our lives.
Any thoughts on what in the world I can get them on short notice for birth parents gifts???? I'm thinking a locket for BM and no idea what to get BF. He's majorly into sports. Any thoughts?
Re: MATCHED!!
Oh my goodness, Mush, this is amazing! I'm so happy for you! What wonderful news!
I know your whole world changes when you bring a child home, and you will be very busy and at times may feel overwhelmed, but please remember we are here. We are here to celebrate your successes, listen to your vents (sometimes adoptive parents feel they can't ever vent about the transition or other parenting things because of how others will perceive them), and offer support when you need it. I have found this board to be invaluable, and want to offer the same to all the other posters, especially those who adopt older children.
When I read that the BPs will be there when you meet your son, I wanted to let you know something that was shared with us when we met M. Be prepared for him to be standoffish. He likely won't know what's expected of him, and he likely doesn't want to disappoint you or his BPs. He may feel that by showing his pleasure at the thought of you, he's hurting them. We were warned that M might leave the room, cry, tantrum, or have any behavior imaginable. In reality, he gave us both a hug first thing, and spent the day playing around and being silly with us. But it helped to let him do it on his terms, and not to expect anything of him.
I'm no good at offering advice for presents, because I never know if something is considered appropriate, but is there anyway you could take a picture of him with your son and give him a frame featuring his favorite sports team to keep it in?
Captain, the baby is 4 WEEKS old, lol. I doubt he'll be very standoffish. Just ribbing you.
Mush, CONGRATS! What an emotional day it will be!
DOH! I read four years old! Just skip everything I said in those middle two paragraphs! Well, except for the part that I do hope you continue to post here!
Started TTC July 2012. Missed m/c & d&c 9/12 11w. Natural m/c 1/13 6w. Chemical pgs 3/13 & 8/13 around 4w. Currently TTA while saving for adoption.
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” -Helen Keller
Mother of two wonderful boys! Blessed through adoption.
5 Angels
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Congrats! I echo a lot of what CS said, except for that 4yo misunderstanding And know that *everyone* will ask you what you need, and you won't even know what you need. Just enjoy every moment.
As for gifts, we were matched when DD was a day or 2 old, so we just got flowers for her birthmom. If you have the time, I'd try and find a sporty onesie that maybe matches a sporty t-shirt for his birthfather? That's all I can think of at the moment. Or matching baseball caps?
TTC since June 2009
01/10- Femara
03/10- Femara
07/2010- Clomid with injectables and IUI #1
08/2010- IUI #2
06/2011- IVF #1 BFP!
09/2011- Miscarriage at 10 1/2 weeks
11/2011- FET
01/2012- Start Home Study process
03/2012- Home Study approved and now waiting on our child to find us!
07/2012- matched with a BM who is due in October!
11/10/12- our son is born!
11/13/12- court grants us custody!
12/28/12- finalization! Always ours in our hearts, but.now also ours forever
http://keepingupwiththejoneses-dana.blogspot.com/
Congrats!
As for gifts, how about a framed picture of the baby wearing a onesie or hat with BF's favorite team?
after several m/c, DD#1 born 7-7-08, more m/c and failed IVF, started adoption process March 2011, matched Oct 2, 2012, DD#2 born 10-31-12
Hope Wait Pray Adoption Blog