Become Stay at Home Mom?

HS6348 · February 2013

I absolutely love staying home with my son. There is no job out there that will be as important as this one. Sure, we won't be going on any more extravagent vacations or dining out as often, but nothing will replace all the milestones I get to witness in person instead of hearing about it from a caregiver. All the smiles I get from my son are worth it and if you are like me, it will be for you too. You are the only one who knows what to do and how to make it work, but I can tell you that it has been the most rewarding experience of my life thus far.

dnl2388 · February 2013

I would love to stay home with my daughter. However, it just wasn't right for us. When I come home from work, I focus all of my efforts and energy on being the best Mom that I can.

I was concerned about leaving and trying to re-enter the workforce when she went to school...but I see people do it every day. You may have to start a couple steps back, but you can work your way up.

You are the only one who can answer this question. I think you know what you want to do deep down. Follow your heart!

Snowbunny13 · February 2013

RoryorHenry?:
Go for it!!!!!!! We are cutting back a lot so I can stay at home. It is all about priorities. Yes, we could save more, vacation more, pay off student loans faster, live in a bigger house, drive newer cars, etc. if I didn't stay at home but you can never get these early years back. I absolutely love that I'm the one taking care of our daughter. I made more money than my husband before I left my job so it is a big adjustment for us but totally worth it in my opinion. DH is proud to be able to work hard to take care of us and I feel so greatful. I really think staying home is wonderful for us as a family. I see friends with kids who have so much stress in their lives juggling day care drop offs, stressful jobs, and all of the day to day house work piles up. My husband and I don't bicker and we have a really healthy relationship that I think is partly because I'm staying home. For example.... I'm happy to get up for all MOTN feedings and let him sleep because he has to work and I can nap with the baby the next day. It sounds like you want to stay home and while it is tight you can make it work. As they say.... Nobody on their death bed says that they should have spent more time at the office.

THIS!!!!

EdithErickson · February 2013

I am a nurse and I work three 12 hour shifts a week. My husband works at a bank and we both take turns staying with our baby girl at home. He is working part time and works 3 long days a week. Even though I work full time I really enjoy the days that I stay home with my baby and my husband enjoys having his days with her as well. Who likes going to work every day right?

Alternating working with a spouse is by far my favorite option! If that is not possible, I still think staying at home is the best for your kids! I know that realistically not everyone is able to do this financially.

I have recently also started working from home on the side. If you are interested I can give you more information. Just let me know!

Jeanne93 · February 2013

What about families who dont even have a savings account? we make it by just fine. We dont go out to eat very often but we have just enough to pay our bills... Even if she spends all of her savings, it doesnt mean she'll be in debt, it just means she'll be like the rest of us who dont have spare cash. And time is more important than cash.

songrunner@hotmail.com · March 2013

I'd definitely be careful if staying home means dipping into your savings, especially with how shaky the economy is nowadays. That being said, if you can make it work, I'd definitely recommend being a sahm if that's what you and your dh want to do. I have been lucky enough to be one since both of my daughters were born (4 months and 17 months), and have never loved anything more. Of course, every household is different, and everyone has to make it work the best way for their own family and circumstances. There is definitely no wrong way. As far as I'm concerned you can do it well (or badly) either way. I think that as long as you are doing the best you can and spending quality time with your family whatever you decide, then you're being a good parent.

Freshenup · April 2013

I completely agree. It is hard for both parties and we each have to weigh options when making decisions.

I know exactly where you are coming from. No offense taken here!

We take chances everyday! All we can do us give our best advice based on our choices regardless of what others think of our choices. In the end, it's your household that has to live with it.

Pray for guidance, adhere to wisdom, and step out on faith either way is my suggestion.

mrscookie669 · April 2013

roryorhenry? I didn't take your comment the wrong way, I know exactly what you mean and yours is fair advice. I've reported the scurrilous comment left by another user btw, so inappropriate. We're all women and moms, let's support each other.

With my second baby I have chosen to work so that I can maintain my career and treat myself and my kids to small luxuries and not feel constrained by cash but the reality is that I feel selfish in doing so because working does not give me nearly as much pleasure as my kids do. And our kids (at least mine, almost 3 years and the other just 5 months), love nothing more than being with us. They don't care about the toys, the big house, the nice car, they just love spending time with mommy and daddy. It's all about personal choice. Which leads me to OP, it sounds to me like you need validation from your peers to stay at home for a bit. Do it, do what feels right for you and your husband. Yup you might have to forfeit a few savings but so what, so long as you keep a buffer for emergencies this is also what savings are for, to give you options. You will love staying at home and you have the rest of your life to save for those retirement and plenty more years to save for those college funds. Enjoy!

MamaBeee · April 2013

Hello! I don't typically post but felt the need as I have been staying at home with my son since his birth and he just turned 13 months. One thing my husband and I did prior to my son's birth was living off his paychecks alone. All my paychecks were used to pay off debts- and once we paid off all our debts, my paychecks we're put into savings. This allowed us to really see how we would live on his paycheck alone. If you really feel strongly about staying at home, I would suggest this as the best thing to try (it will really give you a feel of how you can live and if you will be comfortable). My husband and I still have luxuries like date nights (but they are seldom- MAYBE 1-2 times a month- but we do appreciate it more when it happens!) You can get really creative when it comes to living on a budget! We plan everything- I mean EVERYTHING. If there is a birthday coming up, we budget it and make it happen. One thing that I would not suggest is cutting into a savings account. You need to continue saving, even if just a little bit each month. There are things that you will sacrifice to stay at home- just like moms who work sacrifice so much too. For my husband and I, material objects have little significance- this is just how we live our life. For others, their cars and clothes mean a lot and they value those things in their life to live comfortable. I think it really is about your lifestyle and if you are willing and will be happy with changing it. I see so many of my friends who say to me 'I WISH I could stay at home, but we just can't afford it" then they hop into their 45K SUV holding their $250 designer diaper bag and it makes me wonder...'If you really want something, you will find a way- if you don't, you will find an excuse". I wish you best of luck and if you need any suggestions on how to cut your budget, please pm me and I will be more than happy to let you know what we did to make it happen!

alyschwarzer · April 2013

If you can swing it, stay home. You will never get those years back and you can't hit rewind if you regret your decision later. My husband and I made the same decision and we do have to cut back but it's completely worth it. We made the choice that we would be raising our baby, not a nanny or daycare teacher. Besides, cutting back isn't so bad. Find cheap dates to go on for your adult time like a long walk and ice cream or a trip to the beach. We really love the movies so that's what we spend our money on. Stop ordering in, use more coupons, and cut back on what you can. Looking into my daughter's eyes, I know every cut ack and sacrifice is totally worth this time I have with her. I wouldn't trade it for the world or some more income. It is truly the most a amazing gift I can give her to stay home with her and we're happy to do it. Good luck and do what's best for you and your family. :

And, a little entertainment money each month is a good idea, probably 75 to 100 for discretionary spending. We have 50 each for whatever we want to do and about 60 for restaurants/movies. We also put money into savings each month and have 100 baby fund for our daughter.

Good luck!

alyschwarzer · April 2013

Sorry, I thought your post said it would be tight but you wouldn't have to dip into your savings. If you aren't able to pay all the bills and still have some left over to put away each month, then you should probably continue to work. Maybe you can find part time work or work from home to supplement your husband's income. You have to have savings and eating away at it every month is not a good idea for you or baby.

lizlichner7475 · April 2013

Like many, I weighed the SAH option when our son was born. I even beat myself up over it when I returned to work. We could probably make ends meet if I chose to stay home, but it wouldn't be comfortable. I wasn't willing to make the decision of feeding my family or paying a bill. I also would not consider dipping into any sort of savings - including my son's college fund - to make ends meet to fulfill my own desire to stay home. His future and education are far too important.

Our son is almost 2. He goes to daycare every day. I work from home two days a week and clean during my breaks. That way, I am free to spend time with our son in the evenings and on weekends. He has learned some very valuable things at daycare, including his alphabet, Spanish, sign language, counting, sharing, socialization, manners, and how to deal with people in the outside world. I am eternally grateful for our daycare provider and all of her help.

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