First Time Mom---need some help :)

WinterWinds13 · February 2013

Hello everyone,

I am having my first child this June, a girl, and I am excited but anxious. I have had plenty of people give me both sides of the argument and pressure me both ways. Its made me very confused. Can some of you offer some advice, tips, and experiences you have had with natural birth?

aylafsu88 · February 2013

I loved my natural birth. It hurt, a lot, but it was pain with a purpose and I was prepared for it. I liked the fact that I could move around in L&D as I was not tethered to a bed. I liked the fact that i knew what was happening with my body. The OB did not have to tell me I was complete, my body knew I was ready and I felt the urge to push. I liked that I was in complete control of the situation and I did not have a nurse or OB telling me what I should be doing/how I was not progressing. I liked that it brought my H and I closer. My H was my main coach and he was with me every step of the way. I liked that I could get up and walk around right after birth and did not have to recover from a C/S. My birth made me feel very empowered, like I could do anything. I felt every pain/twinge/emotion of child birth and IMO it was amazing.

hamiltks10 · February 2013

My advice...stop listening to what other people have to say. Do the research (this board is a good start) and decide for yourself if having a natural, intervention free birth is right for you.

Edited to add: I hope you don't take that as snarky...that is not what I intended. Everyone has their own opinion, beliefs and fears when it comes to childbirth. People like to tell their horror stories and give negative reactions about women who want a natural birth. Ignore them...but better yet, don't even discuss your plans with them. Do your own research, talk things over with your husband or birth partner and do what is best for you.

Mrs E in Oregon · February 2013

I'm a first time mom too! Welcome!!!

My advice is to tell people that you are hopeful for a natural birth but you understand that interventions like epidurals and c-sections save lives too. You want a natural birth but if the best thing deviates from that, you're not going to put yourself or your baby at risk.

As of right now, I am on course to have a home birth. It has literally been an open dialogue with my mother in law every time we've gotten together. She was nervous because she didn't understand it or know anyone who has attempted a managed home birth. She had her stories and like many people, you don't know what you don't know and she didn't know there was any other way than on your back with an epi. But now she's really happy for us and quite comfortable. We keep telling her that we aren't outright rejecting medicated birth, we are just doing what we believe is best to get the safest birth we can, by our research, medical providers, and lifestyle. She seems very comfortable with that now compared to 5 months ago.

MrsBigTime · February 2013

Congratulations and welcome!

Having a natural birth was just something I felt like I wanted to do and I am so thrilled with how my birth went. Seriously, it was amazing and I am so proud of myself (you can read my birth story if you want, in my blog, link below).

I learned early into my pregnancy that many people have different opinions and many people are quick to share them with you and make you feel like yours is wrong because it's different. Decide what is right for your family and share what you need to with people who will support, uplift and encourage you.

As far as a natural birth goes, you CAN do it, but prepare for it. Read, research and talk yourself up! My advice would be to have a great team on your side (for me it was my DH and Midwife) and keep the end goal in mind: a healthy baby. That's the most important thing - remember that. Surround yourself with people you trust, know you options and advocate for yourself. Oh, and try not to let the stresses of the unknown weigh on your mind too much, enjoy this sweet season and focus on seeing that beautiful baby!

Being a new mama has been the most incredible gift of my life and I still smile ear to ear at the very thought. I can hardly believe that this is my life! It's a dream come true!

Celyn · February 2013

It's your baby and your birth. Don't let anyone pressure you or judge your choices based on their perceptions or their experience. Educate yourself on your choices and do what is best for *you* and *your family*.

A37licia · February 2013

To sum it up in a very short way - I wanted to experience birth, not have birth happen to me. A medicated birth tends to include interventions and procedures that take the experience and feeling away from the mother. It was and still is important to me to be the one doing the work and giving my baby the best entrance into the world.

I knew I could endure anything for a short time. For two natural labors now, I'd tell myself during hard contractions that I can do anything for a minute. Just take one contraction at a time. It's painful in many ways, I won't lie! It's not torture, and mental preparation is probably the most significant factor in being able to "handle" natural labor. Read birth story after birth story, become familiar with all the variations of normal that can safely occur in the course of childbirth. READ READ. It did so much for me to read birth stories. Knowing all the ways labor can go can arm you with the mental strength to take what comes and not cave to any outside pressure or have fear rise in yourself that you can't do it.

Having support around you is also very important! Any woman can achieve natural childbirth, and so much depends on her mental strength and preparation and the support she has around her. You are quite vulnerable during birth, naturally so. You need those who will help you and not come in and say, well we need to do this now because you're not progressing. You need your support to say, well let's try this and wait another hour and see where we are (you can't count on yourself to think of that yourself unless you're only in early labor).

Some practical recommendations for achieving natural childbirth in a hospital:

1. decline as many vaginal exams as you can. Don't give them access and say NO!!

2. labor at home as long as you possibly can. For your first, that could be 6 hours or more

3. Don't go in as soon as your water breaks unless it's late in labor. Don't call when your water breaks unless the fluid is not clear or pink

4. Don't take an IV - stay mobile

5. Sneak food and drink if it's outlawed

6. Stay out of bed

7. Rest in early labor if you are not needing to work through contractions...save your strength for later

8. escape to the shower if you need to labor by yourself and want to avoid nurses

9. This would be hard to do, but if your nurse wasn't supportive of natural childbirth, ask for another one. Better yet, when you check in, tell them you're working toward natural childbirth, are there any nurses on staff who would be supportive of that?

10. Know that you can absolutely do it. When it's at it's hardest is when it is usually the shortest and the closest to meeting your alert, healthy baby.

holly753 · February 2013

I have delivered med free four times and will for this one too, my most compelling argument is that I have never neeeded to be told when to push,I always had to tell them I was ready. I also never pushed for more than 20 minutes. Birth is an amazing experience no matter how it happens, but being in control made it much more peaceful for me.

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First Time Mom---need some help :)

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