Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: abandoned
I wish you luck.
Im in a new town also and dont know very many people.. So on the weekends I go nuts with boredom and now that Im pregnant alone Im depressed...But you have to try to be positive and here are some ways I cope with my crappy situation.
-I skype with friends from home
-I joined a local meditation center! And met a very nice family whom Im going to live with b/c my situation is the greatest!
-Look at activities on Meetup.com
And try to hang out with your 9 yr old doing fun stuff.. Going bowling, movies, volunteer together...
The truth is it takes time to mend a broken heart or to get over/accept the present situation. Yes you can try to occupy your time with activities which will make things easier but yes you will still feel the feelings of loss (and Im sorry you have to feel it) but I guess you have to accept it and just know everything happens for a reason and maybe his situation with court is so horrible that this might be a blessing in disguise for you. Its sad that you had a good relationship and you love this man and he just left. But you dont have any control of the situation. You have to learn to accept it and try to understand that life does crazy things we dont get but there is always a reason.. I will pray for you. I know how you feel. Send me a private message if ya want. Im here for you!!!!!!!! Big Hugs. You can do this!
I had posted this reply to someone else in a similar situation as you:
My ex left me for another woman when my son was 1.5 years old. It is rough but it gets better. You go through the steps of grieving the loss and you come out stronger and wiser in the end. You have to look at this as a chance for you to learn and grow and be a better person. When you experience deep loss you learn to appreciate the little things and you learn how to empathize and help other people going through loss.
After a year and a half I still struggle with the loss but it does get better with time. What has really helped me a lot is reading self help books. Although I wasn't married, I was engaged, I have read several books about divorce and break ups. The insight from experts and other women who have experienced this same pain and lived through it and became stronger because of it is truly encourgaging.
Books I have read are Spiritual Divorce, Getting Past Your Break Up, How to Survive the Loss of Love, and Runaway Husbands: The Abandoned Wife's Guide to Recovery and Renewal.
I also see a therapist once or twice a month so that I can unload on her because I know my friends and family get tired of hearing my whining...
The thing I struggle with the most is accepting that it is truly over. But once you accept it is over you are free to rebuild your life the way you want it. What helped me to accept the break up was focusing on the things that weren't working and the reasons why it didn't work out. People tend to focus on the good times when they should also focus on why it didnt work.
Are you sure that everything was fine with the relationship? Could he have been cheating on you? Is running away his response to the severe stress of being unemployed and having a child on the way?
I strongly encourage reaching out to other single mothers in the area. Birthing classes, like mentioned, is a great idea along with finding out any support groups in your area. What about joining a YMCA and looking to see if they have yoga classes for pregnant women?
How is your other child coping? I would consider enrolling him in a CPR class too. Maybe take one along with him.
What does his family think about him running away from his unborn child?