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July 2013 Moms
allyxo
member
they were wrong on the gender :'(
allyxo
member
We found out on Friday that we are actually having a boy, not a little girl like we were told. H and I were devestated... we never expected them to be wrong. We were so excited about having a little girl, neither of us had sisters growing up so we always planned on having a family full of girls. Crazy how life changes... It has been a hard weekend, we felt like in a way we were going through a loss of something, because we were having a girl and then it suddenly changed... It was extremely difficult. I'm still at times very sad, because I never imagined having a son. But I guess there's a reason for everything. I hope I get my daughter someday...
I feel like I disappointed our families. Everyone was wanting a girl for us, there is a lack of girls on both sides of the family and this is the first grandchild. My mom cried when she found out.
I posted how they were wrong on FB about the gender and I am getting so many stories about how ultrasounds are wrong all the time... it's crazy! Next time I know if they say girl, I'll need a second opinion.
ETA:
I'm sorry my post was selfish and I never meant to make it sound like my situation is worse than others... because I always knew it wasn't. It was just hard that's all, but like I said I'll get over it. I know I can be dramatic with my wording. I should have thought twice about posting this because I knew people on here had been through much worse. So, again I am truly sorry I do not want anyone to be hurt by my words.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: they were wrong on the gender :'(
Um.....
Is he healthy? Then congrats on Team Blue!
I will keep my mouth shut about the rest. Just know OP that you are getting a major side-eye from me.
Out of curiosity, at what gestational age were you told girl?
No no.. I didn't mean it like a loss of a miscarriage AT ALL. Sorry I use the wrong wording it just felt like we were having a girl and it was taken away, so it just felt different... sorry!
Agree with above, but you'll get enough of those responses that I'll add something different. Your family is way out of line for reacting like that. A healthy baby is a blessing and acting like you disappointed them (and CRYING FFS) is beyond ridiculous coming from your own family.
So despite your response, I am also sorry for the way your family is acting, that's not cool at all.
Devastated really??? Ultrasounds are sometimes wrong, get over it.
Congrats on your baby boy!
Ditto on this. Hoping that you just chose your words very, very, very poorly.
OMFG I can't do this today. I just can't.
OP, as someone who has been excited for anatomy scan only to discover their baby was dead (the pregnancy before my daughter) I think you have no f.ucking idea what the motherfuck you are talking about. You should shut your mouth and be thankful for your healthy, living child inside you.
I have more, but these types of posts hurt and make me unbelievably angry.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
Thank you. I am happy that baby is healthy as that is most important.
This mentality is driving me crazy.
EVERYONE has a completely different life. And EVERYONE has the right to their feelings.
It's not that one persons loss discounts someone else's feelings on what's going on in their life.
If my kid falls down and hurts themselves I'm not going to tell them it doesn't hurt because its not broken and it could be worse.
ALOT OF THINGS COULD BE WORSE. Gah. Why is everyone so uptight?!?!
Don't be disappointed!! He's healthy and you and your husband are VERY lucky. I know it may have been shocking at first but little boys are so great. My last pregnancy I had TWO dreams it was a little girl and you could have knocked me over with a feather when they said it was a boy, I would have bet my LIFE it was a girl. Fast-forward 2 years later and I wouldn't trade my little guy for anything in this world. He's the sweetest and funniest and the most precious gift.
Also a quick story - my hairdresser thought she was having a girl with baby #2 until week 38 when the Dr. told her they were wrong and she was having a boy! Imagine having 2 weeks to adapt!
Thank you and yes he is healthy as far as we know. I know things could be worse, so I am grateful for that... I am trying to be happy and I know in time I will realize I wouldn't have it any other way.
You know, I am actually really glad you don't know what the F you are talking about here. Its not about being uptight.
Also, I have to peace out from this thread. Its making me upset.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
That's exactly it, it was just shocking... we went in there already knowing the gender so we didn't expect "It's a boy!" I am glad we found out now and not later as in the delivery room, so thank goodness for that!
WHAT! Are you for real? There are woman on this board who have experienced a real loss, I've read some of their stories and they are heartbreaking.You need some perspective.
URG, this pisses me off so much that I'm even having a hard time responding. I hope you get over this fast for the sake of your healthy, baby boy. You have no idea how many people there are that would and have done everything to be in your position. Things really have not changed all that much for you, you are still having a baby that needs you and your love just as much.
Instagram
Yeah I agree with this and think people are getting all up in arms about this today. I also think this was really bad timing to post something like this and probably could have been worded a little more delicately. Having said that, I'm sure it was a bit of a shock to hear that news so I don't blame OP for being emotional about it.
LOSS IN ALL FORMS HURTS PEOPLE.
I'm not saying lossing baby isn't horrible. It is. But the OP didn't say anything regarding that.
But you know what else is horrible.
Lossing your infant. Lossing your toddler. Losing your child. Lossing your parents. Losing a sibling. Never being able to conceive.
ALL I WAS POINTING OUT. IS THERE ARE LOTS OF THINGS TO HURT OVER.
Lossing a baby and finding out at an AS is your unique story, and you are extra sensitive and I understand why. And I'm very sorry for your loss.
But your loss doesn't mean the OP or other women can't have their own feelings. They can have their own disappointments however big or small they want.
OP I dont think you had any ill intentions. I hope you can get excited for a boy! I'm sure youll have lots of fun with him!
I don't think its appropriate given the audience.
I am particularly touchy about anatomy scans given my own experience. That is not the OP's fault, but these types of posts make me realize that the use of the word "devastated" and "disappointed" are used flippantly.
I understand that the OP was told one thing only to discover another, but who gives a $hit? Really? That's why early sex determinations are not to be trusted.
I just don't think the OP (or anyone who is saying the PgAL posters are over reacting) truly understands what a devastating appointment at the OB is really like. I really hope that none of you have to go through that.
No one is saying that they can't complain, but for God sake don't make it sound like your life is ruined by the sex of your healthy baby. That is over reacting.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
YES! ALL if this! People are allowed to feel whatever emotions they feel, and their disappointment does not discount your losses. If these posts bother people so much WHY do they read them, why to they have to be so nasty with their replies?!
OP, that really sucks that your initial u/s didn't give you the correct information. You are completely right to grieve the loss of the child you were imagining. The child you DO have is going to be amazing and wonderful, and I hope you can let go of the disappointment and get excited about the new little guy in your life. My guess is that with a month you'll have come around to the idea of having a boy, and a year or so from now you'll look back and laugh, because he will be the complete light of your life.
Sorry, but your opinion on "lossing" is not going to be popular at all and you should probably quit while you're behind. As a person that's experienced the loss of her father at a young age and the loss of my first pregnancy getting the news that your baby is healthy and a different sex than you expected isn't a loss. Not by any stretch of the imagination.
She didn't voice just disappointment.
She voiced "devastation" "extremely difficult situation" "very sad" "I hope I get my daughter someday"....
No words about a HEALTHY baby, regardless of sex. Sure, maybe she didn't have any ill intentions towards other people's feelings. But regardless, she wording her post in an extremely offensive way. People who have and have not had a loss are appalled by her word choice.
Sure, she has the right to feel however she wants, but we also have the right to be upset.
So you get to enjoy an amazing little boy instead. You shouldn't have counted all your chicks before they hatched when you find out at 16 weeks. There was always the possibility of them being wrong.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
It's the "given the audience" part that you're right about. It WOULD be inappropriate to post something on the PgAL or TTCAL boards, but this is not the case. It's a birth month board, and while there happen to be several vocal PgAL people, that does not make the intended audience of this board PgAL. You choose to be here, and chose to read and/or respond. Your loss does not negate the pain the OP feels. As my father always said to us growing up, It's not all about you.
I usually think that people get wayy too worked up over things on TB, HOWEVER if you are on the TB for any amount of time you realize that so many woman have gone through many real losses. Comparing finding out you're having a boy and a pregnancy loss, and talking about your families disappointment isn't right. OP was so negative, and completely insensitive to all of the woman who would do anything to be in her position. Like I said, you need some perspective. This is not a loss, you get a healthy baby.
Instagram
Seriously??? "OMG- I just knew I was having a girl and instead I am having a boy. I feel like we are going through a loss." That is in no way shape or form the same as actually losing a pregnancy or a loved one. Yes, you were dreaming of a child of a different sex, but you still have a healthy, viable child.
Why is everyone so uptight? Because 25% of all pregnancies DO end in an actual loss. Unfortunately, many of us have been in that 25%. Even after thinking you are in the "safe" zone... many of us have had an actual loss.
This was the second post of this nature today.
And OP- I didn't mean to call you out in my sarcastic paraphrase of what you said. I actually understand what you meant- you had a few days where you dreamed of your little girl. Now your future little girl will simply have a big brother to always protect her.
BFP #1 5/27/12- m/c 7/9/12 @ 10w2d (cytotec induced @11w).
Fibroids, Hashimoto's Hypothyroidism
BFP #2 11/18/12 EDD 7/27/13
I cant use the word "loss" unless it's related to losing a baby??
I can't use devastated unless it's in relation to losing a baby.
Got it! Lol ::rolls eyes::
1 in 4 pg ends in loss. If ALers stuck to just the AL boards, the rest of the boards would be a lot slower and pretty boring.
Again, we have the right to be upset by her thread. Just like she has the right to her feelings. That doesn't mean she doesn't deserve a little reality slap. I'm sure she will rethink her feelings after reading responses here and realize that she sounded like a douche canoe, toughen up, and go out and buy some blue things.
When someone is talking about finding out they are having a healthy baby boy a few weeks after they were told girl, then no. IMO they should not.
Go ahead and roll your eyes. You are the minority here. There are many more people not only rolling their eyes at you, but giving you a virtual throat punch as well.
This is the actual reality of the "loss". You still get to go buy blue things and maybe even have to take back some pink/purple. This should provide some perspective.
This
Instagram
Holy mother of pearl. People seriously get this worked up over gender!?
OP - Perhaps you didn't intend to come off sounding like a whining b!tch, but really think about what you typed out there because comparing a loss to gender disappointment is really ridiculous.
Put your big girl panties on and be grateful for the child you've been given.
I agree with this sentiment but it's also why I understand why some people would flame OP for her feelings. I've never lost a child so I can understand her disappointment over her long living hopes of having a girl dashed but I imagine that if I had lost a child I'd feel really offended and maybe even vitriolic hearing about it. I grew up with a physically and mentally abusive mother who eventually left us and growing up it made me angry hearing kids call their parents abusive for grounding them or yelling at them. But I realized kids whose parents fed them bleach and chained them in the basement would probably feel the same way hearing about me. Even given the same exact experience two people will have different feelings about it and who is to say which one is right? OP congrats on the son and to others I feel sorry that it stirred up pain for you.
Me too. She's way worse than OP.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more