TTC 2 question

kmmpbj09 · February 2013

Hello!
I just had a baby 10 weeks ago. DH and I are deciding if we want to try for 2 in a few months or wait several years. What is the age gap between your kids? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

kcisthebombdotcom · February 2013

I think it's kind of insane that you either need to get pregnant tomorrow or wait a long time...but I digress.

There are 12.5 months between my kiddos. For me personally, I love it.

Advantages: Got lots of rest with second pregnancy with an infant still napping a lot. #1 wasn't completely mobile until closer to the end of my second pregnancy. No jealousy issues at all. Kids are close playmates now and rarely fight. Easier to plan outings since they're so close in age and have similar interests. Only one set of toys out for both kids. Got the pregnancy/infant/diaper stuff out of the way vs going back to all of that when we had moved past that stage already.

Disadvantages: No sleep for the first year. lol. 2 kids in college at the same time will kind of suck.

To be completely honest, I'm in a really great situation. My DH doesn't work crazy hours. My parents live local and are very involved with the kids. I can SAH. If I had to work 50 hours a week and lived away from family, would I feel so positive about 2u2? I'm not sure. I don't think it's for everyone but it's been great for my family.

KaraBoBara18 · February 2013

I have been debating this same thing with my DH. I've asked around and for the most part what I have heard is that as difficult as it is at the beginning, it's really nice to have your babies as close as possible. Yes, it will be extremely stressful at first, but then it is worth it once your children are able to entertain each other. Being close in age will mean they will enjoy a lot of the same things. Even when they are older and want to go to ammusement parks, they will want to do the same things and you won't have to split your time in the kiddy area verses the other areas.

However, waiting until LO1 is old enough to "help" out a little and understand what is going on would always be a plus!

JulyMomma2U2 · February 2013

My children will be ~12 months apart, give or take a week or 2 (assuming all goes as planned with the remainder of my pregnancy!).

After being cleared from my OB at around 8 weeks post partum, DH and I discussed our future plans. We knew we wanted our children to be rather close in age (originally thinking ~18 months or more apart), so we opted for me to not begin hormonal birth control. We had tracked my cycle without BC for nearly 4 years before having DS, so I figured we'd have no problem doing that again. However, we ended up getting pregnant my second cycle! We were initially surprised, as we were thinking we'd wait 6 months or so longer, but absolutely thrilled regardless.

Obviously, I can't speak on the difficulties of having 2 children close in age yet.. but, I'm excited. Pregnancy so far has been a breeze.. with DS I had lots of aches and pains early on and terrible morning sickness -- this time, I've been great so far!

I am a working Mom. So, having 2U2, being out of the house 50+ hours a week, etc is a really overwhelming thought. I'm in the process of looking into cutting back to P/T once the second baby comes, but that's more because I hate the idea of spending so much time away from my kids rather than a "I can't manage 2 kids and work full time" mindset, KWIM?

Best of luck in whatever you decide!! Like PP mentioned.. 2 kids at any age is an adjustment.. you do what you and your DH feel is right for your family!! All the best

RedDDD · February 2013

ours will be somewhere between 16 and 17 months apart. We decided to not go on an BC after #1 was born because we are older (mid 30's) and I didn't want to have to go through the going on BC and then getting your system all regulated and then deciding to go off BC and then waiting again until my system regulated again.....too much and seemed like it would take too long. So we just decided not to go on BC and what was the worst thing that could happen...I get prego right away?? Not really a bad thing in our eyes. So, 9 months later, Im prego again. Im glad they will be close in age. I agree with the other PP #1 naps really well right now so I get regular naps on the weekends and he goes to bed at 7 so I get pretty good sleep. I like the fact that he wont remember being an only child and that they will have each other as buddies. Am I terrified? yes....the cost of two in DC (I work 50+ hours a week at a fairly demanding job) but my Dh has flexible hours (he is self-employed) and I think it will be fine. Those first few weeks are what I am most worried about....once you get them on a good schedule....smooth sailing....right..?

GL!

Amaryllis619 · February 2013

we TTC DD#2 when DD#1 turned one. We were lucky and it only took a few cycles to get pregnant, and the girls are only 23 months apart. the age gap is perfect for us, DD1 is old enough to "help" and is totally in love with her lil sis.

We're already discussing TTC #3. I'm not going to lie there are hard days... but seeing my most favorie people together & loving on each other is so worth it. i'm excited to see DD2 grow and be more interactive with DD1, like she wants. lol she's super excited to have a playmate. I'm excited to TTC and possibly have 3u3 soon.

but it's really what's best with your family, follow your heart. GL

WhitePicketFence · February 2013

This question gets asked here a lot.

The long and short of it is, whether you decide to TTC today or decide to wait several years, there will always be many benefits and disadvantages. There is no perfect spacing. The best advice I can give you is to do what you and your DH feel is best for your family.

Good luck.

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