Anyone choose against Circumcision?

sweetpea2003 · February 2013

SunnyMuffin:
kbruington you seem to be the only woman in here who has hacked up her sons penis and you seem pretty darn defensive over it. Look, you have quoted and replied to almost every single anti circ post. I still dont get what you are hoping to accomplish by being in here. Should we pat you on the back and tell you that you're a good mom?

WOW. That was totally uncalled for. And you can't see how the language you use about this issue is off-putting? How if a woman who was undecided came in, they would be turned off by your approach to the issue?

Seriously SMH. You should be ashamed of yourself.

sweetpea2003 · February 2013

happywife2b:
Wow, when I posted about circumcision I never expected to get such an overload of responses! I admit that after reading them all I am pretty disappointed with the content, over all. I was hoping to get more personal experience-type stories along with why you think you did the right thing, or why you think you didn't.
I have done tons and tons of research; medical-based, not propaganda. And although I used my post to vent a bit, I am not a screaming meemie. I am a highly educated woman with excellent conversation skills, which I use when approaching this and other issues with the man of my dreams.
At any rate, thank you to those who posters who did share some information and personal insight.

Our son is circumcised. We followed the AAP and my DH wanted it done. DH was with DS in the surgery and he had great pain management. He didn't feel anything, came back to our room immediately after (DH was with him every minute from the moment he went in to the moment he came out), and has been great ever since. No issues. I have no regrets.

LatteLady5 · February 2013

SunnyMuffin:
kbruington you seem to be the only woman in here who has hacked up her sons penis and you seem pretty darn defensive over it. Look, you have quoted and replied to almost every single anti circ post. I still dont get what you are hoping to accomplish by being in here. Should we pat you on the back and tell you that you're a good mom?

^ This is an example of the crazy extremist view that will not be taken seriously.

skibunny59 · February 2013

I don't think it's necessary and if it were my choice, I wouldn't do it. On the other hand though, I did pierce DD's ears as a baby which many people think is cruel (I regret it now and won't do it if we have another daughter). If DH really wanted to circumcise our son than I would respect his decision.

thatoneredhead · February 2013

kbruington:
LatteLady5:
SunnyMuffin:

kbruington you seem to be the only woman in here who has hacked up her sons penis and you seem pretty darn defensive over it. Look, you have quoted and replied to almost every single anti circ post. I still dont get what you are hoping to accomplish by being in here. Should we pat you on the back and tell you that you're a good mom?

^ This is an example of the crazy extremist view that will not be taken seriously.

That was my point all along and why I posted in the first place. She offered up some ridiculous websites for the OP's husband to peruse at his leisure and I thought they were biased and wouldn't help him make an educated decision. The OP is obviously not an idiot and isn't going to make a decision based off a discussion on the Bump. I normally don't take comments like SunnyBunny's too seriously but this was out of line and just mean. I have posted a lot on this thread but I have that right and never once did I attack the OP or try to change her mind. Again, I could care less what someone (especially a stranger) does with their child's penis.

Kb- that's totally messed up and as a mama that decided to go with circing too, that's absolutely ridiculous. Im sorry that she was that crazy. That's the thing that drives me nuts about the extreme lactivists or intactivists- They take great information that is so good to know and makes it so one-sided and judgemental they loose half their audience. It's sad, really.

wheelsonthebus · February 2013

fredalina:
Linnea503:
fredalina:
Seriously, there is NO comparison between female mutilation and male circumcision, other than the name. I am not a fan of circumcision. My DH wanted it done when we were TTC. We never had to make the choice but in the end I would have let him choose provided he did the research to find the qualified practitioner and was allowed to stay in the room while it was done. Which would have meant it wouldn't be done lol, because DH *might* do the research, but watching his son be physically hurt would never happen. Especially not now that we've had a baby and I've seen how extremely empathetic he was/is with her.

You don't want to do it, don't do it for your own personal reasons. But keep the comparisons with female circ out of it. Along with the word "mutilation". (When your kid is 13 and comes home with a nose ring, are you going to start screaming about how could they mutilate themselves? Because that's a closer comparison than scraping off the inner AND outer labia and sewing it all up tightly leaving only a small hole for urine.
It absolutely is comparable to female circumcision. The only difference is that one is culturally acceptable in this country and one is not. From what I understand there are three "levels" of female circumcision performed and male circumcision is comparable to levels 1 and 2. What you described is a particularly barbaric level 3.
As for your comparison to a nose ring, that is a ridiculous and stupid comparison. In one case, the most sensitive part of a boy's body is permanently removed with no ability for him to consent or refuse. In the other, a teenager gets a nose ring that can be removed at any time leaving a tiny hole. There is NOTHING similar about the two. Nothing.
No, really, female circumcision is VASTLY worse. All three "levels". And to argue otherwise makes you look nuts. Like I said, I'm against it. But not because crazy people make extreme comparisons. And I wasn't actually comparing a nose ring with male circ, just that "mutilation" is a ridiculously strong word to use for the removal of a foreskin. It isn't mutilation to circumcise and it isn't mutilation to pierce one's body, regardless of whether it is voluntary or not. Is circ unnecessary? Yes. Is it cosmetic? Largely, yes. But it isn't mutilation.

I disagree. You are making a permanent change to your newborn's body. It's a matter of opinion. Just because the US does not see it as mutilation, doesn't mean I have to feel the same way. To many people, it is mutilation. That's their opinion.

As for comparing it to female circ, in both cases you are removing a part of the baby's genitals.

SunnyMuffin · February 2013

kbruington:

Totally agree and thank you for saying that. I was honestly shocked by the comment and wouldn't expect another mother on here to lash out so harshly especially on a topic that totally doesn't affect anyone else and is purely personal choice but that's what extremists do. They are passionate people but don't know how to let other people have opinions without feeling attacked. I'm glad someone else thought it was over the top too

yeah.. another circumciser.

boogerbearoriginal · February 2013

SunnyMuffin:
kbruington:

Totally agree and thank you for saying that. I was honestly shocked by the comment and wouldn't expect another mother on here to lash out so harshly especially on a topic that totally doesn't affect anyone else and is purely personal choice but that's what extremists do. They are passionate people but don't know how to let other people have opinions without feeling attacked. I'm glad someone else thought it was over the top too
yeah.. another circumciser.

FWIW - my son is intact. And I would never, ever say a mother hacked up her son's penis to mean he was circumcised. It's unnecessarily inflammatory.

You can disagree with someone, you can be passionate, but you can still be civil.

Marsee · February 2013

DS is not circumcised. I was VERY careful about how much I talked about it because DH was pro-circ. I just threw out casual conversations here and there while I was pregnant. What made DH change his mind was a video that I made him watch online. He watched what actually happens and was horrified.

We were both on the same page and confident with our decision, but DH's family was terrible about it. MIL had 3 or 4 male family members who are circ'ed on speed dial ready to talk us out of it. FIL tried the religious approach, warning us that DS would burn in Hell if we didn't circ. (really??). It was really unpleasant.

All in all, I had made up my mind and no one was going to change it. DH and I may have made the decision together, but long before that I knew that no matter what, DS would not be circ'ed. If DH didn't agree with me, I didn't care. It sounds terrible, but it is what it is. I figured I would just play the 'I carried and delivered this kid' card. If he didn't agree, too bad.

You can always change your mind if you don't circ. But if you circ, you can't go back in a month or two and undo it.

ETA: I just read some of the PPs and wanted to say I don't care what you do with your son's penis. Not sure if my post comes across judgy. I just wanted to share my experience and say that watching a video helped DH decide.

margeincharge3 · February 2013

I have two sons. One is circumcized and the other is not. With my first, I did a lot of research. I was not thrilled with having our son circumcized but my H was insistent on it. For me, the only reason in favor of it are the noted health benefits. I am referring to the lower STD transmission rate of circ'd v. uncirc'd men and penile cancer. The only reason I consented was because of those health reasons. Admitedly small benefits but they are there nonetheless. And I was also concerned that if circumcision was needed later for medical reasons it would be a much more involved procedure. I agonized over it a lot. After we did it, I hoped it was the last time I'd have that discussion.

Then we had another boy 3 years later. This time I was much more insistent on not having him circ'd. I can't say what changed other than my desire to have the procedure done lessened. I had a very strong gut feeling that I shouldn't do it.

The thing that actually helped convince my H was the data on frequency of cricumcision today. H didn't believe me when I told him fewer boys are being circ'd anymore. I think he was concerned about our son being the odd man out. So I pulled the data from the CDC. I can't remember now what the stats are but those numbers reassured him that circumcision isn't as common as he thought. But I think by then he was also less insistent on circumcision too.

I don't think I would say I regret having my older son circumcized. I just couldn't find a compelling enough reason to do it the second time around.

In talking to your H, just remind yourself that as parents we're all trying to do what's best for our kids. Anything that comes off as attacking another parent's choice isn't going to be met with open ears. So however you lead the discussion with your H, just use facts and non-inflamatory language.

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