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Autism Mommas....do you get annoyed when

VitskyVitsky member
in Special Needs

Anyone get annoyed when they see things like "helping to find a cure" or when it's referred to as a "disease"?  I just feel like if you have done even the slightest bit of research about autism then you know it is not a disease and that there is no "cure"...it irks me....someone opened a thrift shop where I live and although its going to a great cause, the huge sign outside that says "helping to find a cure" drives me insane...clearly she hasn't researched  

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Re: Autism Mommas....do you get annoyed when

  • bumpuser511563bumpuser511563 member
    Definitely. I don't like when people say "Oh, he will outgrow it."
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  • VitskyVitsky member
    Haha outgrow it!? Wow...
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  • MirandaHobbesMirandaHobbes member

    I had a college counselor friend of mine tell me that DS would probably outgrow it by the time he was college-aged. My parents still think DS will "outgrow" it because they don't ever see him interact with other little kids. They have grandparent's rose-colored glasses on and think he's just the sweetest thing.

    So yes, it is annoying, although at least if someone was talking to me about a "cure" they'd have to first admit that autism is a real thing! I'm usually surrounded by the types that think higher-functioning autistics are a made-up diagnosis. I even had a pedi (our former regular pedi, not developmental pedi) tell me when DS was first diagnosed that school districts were over-diagnosing kids like crazy in my district because they wanted to cast a wide net to capture kids who "might" be on the spectrum. Then he said that DS would probably outgrow his diagnosis.  I wish he hadn't said that because it gave me a lot of false hope in the beginning.

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  • bumpuser511563bumpuser511563 member

    oh yeah!

    I had one co-worker say that she knew of a little girl that was deaf and knows sign language. She then said she thinks this little girl has autism.

    Another co-worker got worked up because her boyfriend's son has a behavioral therapist and that he does not have autism. (That is what she told me.) He is 4 and he bit the teacher at his school and he will not go there anymore.

    Just because you have a behavioral therapist does not mean you have autism. There are many behaviors that require a behavioral therapist.

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  • pastaladypastalady member

    Our mom support group is split about 50/50 with biomedical moms and I guess what I refer to as the rest of us. Even our most hard core bio moms know it's a neurological disorder. We did have one mom leave because she was a little too vocal about "curing" her son. 

    I honestly don't know what to think about all the recent stuff in the news about the percentage of kids who outgrow the diagnosis. This seems to be in our paper everyday. So I think other people and the grandparents read this and don't get the whole picture. I am not even sure what the whole picture is lol! 

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    Olivia Kate is almost 4!
    Diagnosed with autism this year and doing great!
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  • JoJoGeeJoJoGee member

    As far as we know DD isn't on the spectrum, but she does have Cerebral Palsy.  And, I hate it when people make comments about "Curing" CP for the same reasons that you mention.

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  • mopdop2000mopdop2000

    My son has FX and autism, so the drugs they are creating now that helps with FX are SUPER exciting to us. ANd the hope that these will help with autism is a great possibility too.

    However, even with these new meds he will never be cured of his FX, it's a genetic syndrome. The meds may help his behaviours and cognitive functioning but he will still have FX. 

    And the autism?? Don't get me started on how I feel when people tell me that he'll be cured of his autism. Or that he doesn't really have it b/c he's social. When a lady once said that to me, I replied "Oh, where did you study?' "Huh" "Where did you get your psycologist training?"  Needless to say we didn't talk too much after that ...

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  • bumpuser511563bumpuser511563 member
    imagemopdop2000:

    And the autism?? Don't get me started on how I feel when people tell me that he'll be cured of his autism. Or that he doesn't really have it b/c he's social. When a lady once said that to me, I replied "Oh, where did you study?' "Huh" "Where did you get your psycologist training?"  Needless to say we didn't talk too much after that ...

    Ha! I love this response!

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  • Shayna0182Shayna0182 member
    This is why celebrities like Jenny McCarthy make me nuts. In the Feb issue of Parenting magazine, one of the real housewives of New Jersey can't remember her name, don't watch the show was talking about her son having autism. On the whole it was a good article, but then she was talking about finding a cure for Autism. Ugh!

    I think most of my friends and family understand that he does things a bit differently. I hope he does outgrow some of the quirks , but no one has mentioned that to me.
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  • snydermomsnydermom member
    Ok well I am new to this group but hve been desperatly seeking mom groups that I can talk to. Just saw your post and can not agree more.

    My 3.5 year old son was just diagnosed with Aspeger's Syndrome and the worst part is my hubbys grandmother saying "oh well now he can be fixed" . Really? My son does not need to be "fixed".

    I keep trying to explain and bring understanding to some family members but they just don't seem to want to even try and learn about it.
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  • annibesannibes member

    I get so annoyed with family members telling me how he's 'not that bad' and they have 'seen a lot worse' and telling me all of the positive things DS does. I'm glad people notice good things about DS, but I am his mother. No one will never see more positive in my son than I do. I'm so proud of how he has grown since starting preschool! A particular family member (also an SLP) repeatedly told me one evening that it was so great that he has so much language... Yes, it is great. Have you noticed that he has perfect grammar and long utterances for his age? With that in mind, have you yet heard an utterance that was functional to a NT child's daily life? I don't know many toddlers who run around saying, "He chuffed away indignantly!" 

    But, what annoys me the most are how people (who were so adamant that I was overreacting when I voiced my first concerns about DS' attunement and language) like to say, "I had a feeling." Everyone was SO sure he was fine and that he would just grow out of it and blah blah blah. Now that he is diagnosed, I get stuff like, "Yeah, I noticed he didn't make much eye contact." "Yeah, I wondered about that, but I'm sure he'll be fine." WTF? 

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