Parenting after a Loss
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Didnt know my BMB could still make me cry...

When I was pregnant I avoided my BMB, but since he was born I like to post and lurk there because all of the LOs are around the same age.  Someone started a thread to the oct 13 moms nd everyone posted about their BFPs and how amazing it was to go from that to where we are and all that stuff....cue biggest meltdown I've had in months.  I just couldn't stop thinking about my first BFP, about how much I missed Peyton.  I had a huge ugly cry...sometimes I feel like a "normal" mom...sometimes, so far from it.
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Married the love of my life 7/11/09 - Our first baby, Peyton Mark, was born sleeping 10/25/11 at 33 weeks - Our second baby, BFP 2/4/12, welcome to the world Raylan! Holy Moly, BPF 2/4/14, please be safe and sound little one!

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Re: Didnt know my BMB could still make me cry...

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    I'm still amazed by the amount of "left field" things that will break me down. It is strange to be PgAL - we've got our dream, but the scars and wounds are still there. Most people don't get it - and I'm pretty sure that they think that this baby we have somehow "heals" us. (((HUGE HUGS))) - I know it's not easy sometimes.

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     Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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    You know, I haven't been over there since my mom passed. I just couldn't handle anything more crap setting me off. Anyway, I was thinking about checking it out again, but your post reminds me to stay where I'm safe and understood. We're here for each other. ::hugs::
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    Mama to 5 angel babies, 1 rainbow baby, and 2 more angel babies. 
    My beautiful Ella/ToT arrived 10/10/12. 
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    Big HUGS.... I too have many things that set me off. Last week we were talking to our priest about Liam's christening and I starting crying. All I could think about is not being able to plan DS1's christening. I know what you mean about feeling so "normal" at times and then having all the emotions just hit you out of the blue.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie - (B9PH)

     

    Lilypie - (0YVF)
     TTC since 11/2009; Lap/HSG/Hysteroscopy: 5/2011 (endometriosis - removed; endocervical polyp - removed; high pressure in bilateral tubes - cleared)

    BFP #1: 8/4/11; DS1 born sleeping on 11/16/11 at 19w1d

    BFP # 2: 5/7/12, EDD 1/10/13, DS2 born 1/4/13

    BFP # 3: 11/8/13, EDD 7/17/14, mmc 10wks

    BFP # 4: 5/16/14, EDD 1/15/15, praying for our 2nd rainbow baby 

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    ((Hugs)) 
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP #1 6.19.11 ~ EDD 2.23.12 ~ CP on 6.22.11
    BFP #2 7.23.11 ~ EDD 3.28.12 ~ MC on 8.16.11
    BFP #3 11.17.11~ EDD 7.31.12 ~ MC on 1.18.12
    BFP #4 4.12.12 ~ EDD 12.25.12~ Born on 12.26.12
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    I am so sorry it hit you so hard and I know you must miss him something terrible. I can't imagine that it ever feels very "normal". Huge, gigantic (((hugs))).
    Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
    #1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
    IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
    #1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
    #1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
    H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
    #2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
    M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!

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    ((Hugs)) 
    photo e9455f4d-9751-469e-a19f-460104cd2e5c.jpg photo jan15.jpg
    BFP #1 5/20/10 Natural MC at 5w4d 5/28/10
    BFP #2 11/3/10; BO at u/s 10w6d 12/16/10; Natural MC 1/7/11; D&C 4/21/11
    BFP #3 10/27/11 Please stick, LO!! 2/6/12 It's a Girl! Alexis Grace born 6/29/12
    BFP#4 4/27/14 Stick, stick, stick!! 8/11/14 It's a Boy! Evan Wesley born 1/8/15
    "Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow, that is patience."  Let it Be (blog)My BFP Charts
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    This time I'm not leaving without you.
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    Big hugs from me
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    M/C Nov 9, 2011 at 11 weeks.... We love you & miss you Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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