Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Anyone a little afraid?
It's definitely normal to be scared. Birth is a scary process. And you know everything that could happen, since you've been through it before. I cried the entire drive to the hospital for my second induction. The unknown and heading in for yet another induction was just too much.
But, my story ends well. 9 hours after they turned on the pit, I pushed out DD#2. She was 1lb small than DD#1, but still a healthy 8lbs 1oz. The contractions were intense, but the pushing was surprisingly motivating.
Good Luck! Try to enjoy the next couple of months, instead of worrying.
::raises hand::
As I just mentioned in another thread, this LO's head is measuring 3 weeks ahead, above the 98th percentile. A big part of the reason I want a VBAC in the first place is to be able to handle a toddler and a newborn fairly soon after coming home, and I'm now afraid I'm going to end up with a 4th degree tear and have a longer, worse recovery than a c/s would be. I'm scared and the control-freak side of me just wants the baby to turn breech so I can plan a RCS and be done with all the unknowns (although of course there can also be unknowns in a c/s recovery).
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
I was induced at 38.3 with DS1 and wheeled in for a c/s after only 4hours on Pitocin as I was very low on fluids (been leaking for a while, but the tests kept coming back negative for amnio, so went undiagnosed for almost two weeks!). This time we?re good, but a part of me is still worried about failure to progress, failure to recognise the real deal, and tearing wide open!
At the same time I am very relieved to have been able to carry full term this time, and at least having the opportunity of a VBAC!
So many before us have done it, we can too!!
We planned on a repeat section up until the week before I gave birth, when DH started a soft sell on me to try for a VBAC. I wanted to minimize blood loss and recuperate faster as he had to go back to work sooner and we already had an almost two yo DD. Well, I took a wait and see approach, and we were in the midst of scheduling the section at my OBs when she noticed me leaning on her desk breathing a little heavy, and decided to send me to the L&D to make sure I wasn't in a "silent labor" as she called it. I was 38 wks 4 d. Well, I was in labor and they put me on pit so I could really "feel" the contractions. The next day, I pushed her out, 3rd degree tear and cervical tear and transfusions and all. I say this only because I would still opt for a VBAC over a section any day. The recovery was so much better than the section, although sitting and going to the bathroom was challenging for a while. I could stand up straight, carry my newborn, hold DD1, which I would never have been able to do several days post section. DD2 was 7.5 lbs, 21.5 inches long, and her head came out 14 cm without molding. If I can do it, and I am a big wimp, you can do it!
Also, my son's head measured HUGE, so much so that they sent me to a peri. Needless to say, he came out with a perfectly normal sized head. Late ultrasound sizing just isn't reliable.
As for recovery with tears, still doesn't compare to c/s recovery!! I had 3 degree tears and could do everything normally immediately after labor, which was amazing. I did have to be careful going potty for a few weeks, but that pales in comparison to not being able to function normally at all.
You can totally do it! Read some empowering articles/books while you prepare.
I'm kind of afraid. My main issue is that I see a group of OBs and of the two that I spoke to about VBAC, one was very supportive and one was very... not.
She said that I was not a good candidate (with no actual information about my first delivery or the reasons for my first c/s) and that it was surprising to her that I would put my health ahead of that of my unborn child. In her experience, most mothers would not do that.
I left in tears.
The other doctor said that he saw no reason why I shouldn't attempt a VBAC and was actually very encouraging, but that the policy of the hospital was that I could not be induced or get any pitocin during labor so if it became necessary I may end up with RCS. He has said that I can schedule a RCS for 41+wks and that as long as it happened naturally before that, I would be fine.
But I am really, really afraid of going into labor and going to the hospital and the first doctor being the one on call that day.
Little Sister on the Way 04/23/2013
I'm glad you posted this. I'm already freaking out about it all, and I'm only 12 weeks. I'm scared of the possible complications, I'm scared of what giving birth will be like, I'm scared I'll wind up with another c/s... Ugh.