Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Ruger04
member
Re: NT Scans????
Yes, we did it this time and last time. No, it wasn't about getting or not getting an abortion. I wanted to know if there was a risk of things being wrong, and if that risk was greater than the risk of further testing, I probably would have done it. I also wanted an u/s to confirm I've got a baby in there, and where I am they only offer the NT and the anatomy, that's it.
Personally, it offers great peace of mind and it works for us.
Natural Birth Board FAQs
Cloth Diaper Review Sheet
Me: 34 DH: 35
Married: July 2009
BFP: November 2012 after 2 years of TTC DS born August 2013
Diagnosed with PCOS April 2016
3 months of trigger shot with timed intercourse BFN x3
First IUI: 9/17/16 BFP: 9/30/16 EDD: 6/11/17
Yes, we will, and I had one with DD as well. It's not about whether or not I would terminate a pregnancy, which I don't think I could, but I don't judge women who have made that difficult decision when they have found an issue that is not compatible with life.
For me it's about being informed. If there is something wrong, my doctor and I need to be prepared. If anything shows up on the NT scan that would suggest additional testing should be done- I will cross that bridge when I come to it, I don't know what I would do.
I'm so sorry!
We've got ours scheduled for a few weeks from now. I am the type that wants information as early as possible. And given a prior loss, I will feel better to know this baby is doing well. Plus, if you did get a bad result, there are several companies now that offer maternal blood tests (MaternaT21, Harmony, etc.) to give you (I think) at least 99% accuracy on trisomy 13, 18 and 21. No risk to baby. And, if you read the literature, the risk of miscarriage from CVS or amnio is actually really small, I believe less than 1% for either. If you even needed that after the NT scan and additional MaternaT21 blood test.
Finally, you get an extra u/s! And a long one too! I'll probably use one of those pictures for our announcement the week or so after.
BFP on Cycle #8. Natural M/C at ~8 weeks
IUI #1 and #2 (8/12, 9/12)- 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel = BFNs
IVF #1 (EPP) 13R/10M/9F, 5DT 1-4AA blast, beta #1-148, beta #2-322, 5 frosties!
I just had mine on Wednesday. This is my 3rd child but it wasn't available with my first child and still fairly new with my 2nd. We opted not to get it with our 2nd child because we would have had to gone several hours away to do it.
We did this time and I'm really glad we did. Because I'm older, I worried a lot more about chromosomal abnormalities. We wouldn't have aborted if the baby had downs but If that happened I needed time to prepare. I would hate to be sad on the day the baby was born.
The NT scan was really cool. It was like a mini anatomy scan. She showed us the baby's hands and feet, the brain, the flow of blood through the umbilical cord etc. It was very reassuring.
Mommy to DS#1 7/1/04 and DS#2 6/15/07
M/C 2/16/10 at 9wks 5 days~ D&C 2/18/10
BFP#4 5/17/11 C/P.
BFP#5 11/30/12 Surprise! DS#3 born 7/29/13
This is a great reminder.
It's also not always about "we won't terminate" or not... and FWIW, I think most. Women who terminate don't make that choice with a light heart, and I think it's blind-sided to say things like "we would never"... you don't know what decisions you might be faced with. Fortunately, the majority of women will never have to even face this option.
We're doing the NT Scan , but unless the odds are really low won't be pursuing an amnio - It really depends on the results. Either way, whether it will either prepare us, or make us rest easy. I would rather know than not.
BFP#1 10/1/2011. Our perfect little girl, Her heart stopped @ 12w1d. D&E 11/23/11
BFP#2 3/13/12 Weird CP/Possible EP @ 6w0d
BFP#3 5/28/12 CP @ 5w0d
BFP/WTF#4 10/26/12 CP
BFP#5 12/10/12 EDD 8/23/2013
Yes I am getting mine on Monday - I will be 12 w 1 d. This is baby # 2 for me and I didn't get one with DD. I was 30 with DD, but I am 33 now and will be 2 months shy of 34 on my due date, so my Dr said it was my call, but she was happy to make the referral so it would be covered, since I am not technically considered to be of "advanced maternal age" until age 35.
For myself and DH personally, we both decided that knowing something sooner, rather than later would help us to make decisions and prepare.
I am having my NT scan next week, I did not have it with my first 2 (previous marriage) and neither of us had any history of syndromes in the family and we were very young. But this time my DH has a neice with downs and we are both 33 going to be 34 when LO will be born so to be honest I would like to know not for the termination but sometimes with these syndroms comes heart defect if I know before I can make sure the right teams are in the delivery room to take care of LO right away.
So I dont know why people would pass on the chance to help their LO esp if your insurance covers the test which most do. Its not just about people terminating its also about maybe saving your LO life.
I can say I would never I'm catholic and wouldn't! I don't think that I was being rude or judgmental about other women and the decisions that they make!
Who said you were being rude or judgmental? You are entitled to your beliefs as much as anyone.
I think I'm the only person who had said anything about judging anyone, and my point was only that the decision to terminate due to a trisomy not compatible with life is not something anyone takes lightly. I don't think I would have the strength to terminate a pregnancy, but if it's the right choice for someone else's family, then I see nothing wrong with that. It was not a reflection in anyone else's option on not terminating.
I won't be getting the NT scan, and I didn't with my previous two pregnancies either. I did get the alpha-fetoprotein test with DS around 16 weeks and I will probably do the same this time around. I'm pretty sure that like the NT scan it doesn't necessarily give you a clear yes/no answer, but if I had a high score we would definitely do additional tests. I want to be as informed as possible!
It's odd, I've been to two different practices, this is my 3rd pregnancy, and I have never even been offered the NT scan. I meant to ask my doctor about it at my last appointment but between two toddlers running around the room and then not being able to find the heartbeat with the doppler I got distracted.
Yes, we did it last time and will again. I am over 35 and I want to know.
I am a planner, and if something is wrong I want to plan accordingly. We would still keep the baby, of course.
I don't know how I didn't think of that..... I guess it never crossed my mind about delivering a baby with special needs. Thank you for this advice it was very helpful! I hope all works out for your friend!
I'm a big believer in knowledge is power.
So they tell you that day if your scan looks okay???
Yes I got one with DS and I will get one this time. Primarily because I'm in the knowledge is power camp, but also because it would be horrible for me to find out that my baby was suffering from some painful degenerative incompatible with life condition for 6 extra weeks because I waited until the a/s scan. If my child was suffering in utero and had no chance at life, DH and I agree that we would terminate.
*edited for spelling
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
No, we did not with DS and aren't this time, either.
I know right... my mind is spinning!
I had all my results that day because my MFM has patients do the bloodwork part ahead of time, so they can plug in all data and hand them the final results after the scan. With both my NT and a/s scan (and fetal echo) the techs told me that everything was fine, but that may depend on the practice.
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
No, but I know enough about what they're looking at to have a basic understanding. Technically I don't think they should be telling you anything, though.
My RE does all of my U/S not a tech so maybe he will tell me something that day!
<a href="http://s22.photobucket.com/albums/b316/Vanessro82/?action=view
This is what mine does well. I already did the bloodwork, u/s is next week, he will tell us the results while we are there.
TTC since 3/12
High LH/FSH Ratio 8/12
DX with PCOS 11/12
Clomid 50mg - 19.5mm Follie - Trigger + TI = BFP! 11/12
EDD August 11, 2013
In that case they might give you basic info, but if you haven't had the bloodwork yet the results aren't really valid.
Me: 34 DH: 35
Married: July 2009
BFP: November 2012 after 2 years of TTC DS born August 2013
Diagnosed with PCOS April 2016
3 months of trigger shot with timed intercourse BFN x3
First IUI: 9/17/16 BFP: 9/30/16 EDD: 6/11/17
I had MaterniT21 today, and I'm pretty nervous. If the test has an abnormal result, I'll be first in line for a CVS. My NT scan is next week.
Approximately 92% of women who know they are carrying a child with Downs choose to terminate the pregnancy. I would be in that group.