Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
BrideBuddies
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Re: DH Vent-your reaction?
I would have told him he was inconsiderate for not calling to let you know he was going to be late. As my parents used to tell me, "How do we know you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere!" I also might have said something about being too nice for driving everyone home...they could have called a cab.
With my DH, he has learned to let me know or I will pester him until he answers or responds. Most of those conversations haven't gone well so to avoid them he just calls/texts.
He should have contacted you at some point to tell you that he decided to be the DD and would be later than expected. Not cool.
Unless we had other plans, I don't think I would have been too upset that he decided to stay later and be the DD as long as he gave me the heads up.
ETA: Did you text him at any point? If so, and he didn't respond, I'd be pretty agitated with him.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
I would have been freakinf out and convinced my DH was dead in a ditch. Then when he rolled in I would have lost it in a hysterical frenzy. It wouldn't have been pretty.
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It's a mutual respect and consideration thing.. sure go have some time off with yoru buddies but DON'T forget you have a family at home...and you have to live with me long after the alcohol wears off lol.
I would have texted him once it was after 7 and asked his status. If he didn't respond then I probably would have started getting worried and mad. He's a grown up and should have the courtesy of keeping me informed if plans are changing. As long as I knew what was going on I wouldn't care about the time he got home.
Clearly your DH wasn't driving people home from 6:30 all the way to 12:45 so it would seem he stayed out with the guys quite a bit later than originally planned. I wonder if he didn't even realize how late it was and then when he did he thought if he called you, you'd be mad and so he figured he'd just deal with that once he got home instead of going through it twice - my DH has told me that is his crazy logic!
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
Thanks ladies.... and yes, I WENT OFF on his azz. Two days later and I'm slowly getting over it, but my trust has certainly been shaken. Needless to say, he will NEVER do that again. And he's still in the doghouse. And honestly, he has not done much to try and make it up to me.. other than just saying "Sorry."
Long story now.. his cell phone had died during the day so when I did try to call/text multiple times, it just went straight to VM. This isn't all that alarming, since he works in a high security area and has to leave his cell in the car during work hours anyway. I figured he just forgot to grab it when they went in to the bar. Plus, he neglected to tell me where they were going (Old Chicago).
Here's what really ticked me off... When I asked if it ever dawned on him to borrow someone's phone, he said he thought about it, but then didn't do it. Grrrr.
I did call the sheriff's office/police dept to check on accidents since we live out in the boonies and it's not out of the realm of possibility that he fell asleep at the wheel and the car is down in a ditch somewhere. Nothing. I think when I told him that, he realized how freaked out I was.
I used a lot of the words you ladies threw out there... inconsiderate, insulting, etc. He said he figured I'd be mad but didn't think I'd be awake when he got home so he wasn't prepared for a fight at 1am. I was armed and ready.
For the first time in our 8 year marriage, he slept on the couch. Wasn't even going to chance being in the guest room down the hall from me... Even last night he was still preparing to sleep in the guest room. I think he'd permanent move in there.. he was so scared of me.
Man, just catching up on this now.
I can't believe a grown man would not understand that 1 AM is not the 7 PM estimate and wouldn't think his wife wouldn't worry. SMH.
Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013
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I'd be glad he was nice enough to drive the drunk coworkers home so everyone was safe.
I think the being late without contacting you would piss me off more than knowing he was making sure his coworkers were safe by driving them home.
Well - if there is one saving grace, it's that he was responsible enough to be the designated driver for their sorry drunk @$$es.. That'd be a "get out of the doghouse early" card for me...
I'd also point out that this is why car chargers were created. I grouch at DH because he doesn't have one for his phone. He's also one for being out late because of his work schedule but if he's too late, I'm on the phone calling until I locate him...
Honestly, if my phone went dead and I was dropping someone off at home so they didn't have to drive, I wouldn't have a problem asking "Hey, can I use your phone so I can call DH"... It's amazing how such a simple/quick "hey, I'm going to be late, I'm the Designated Driver" would have turned the situation from WW3 to probably the exact opposite response with a "happy ending"...
I guess, for me, I would have likely texted him at least once, called if that failed, after he was a couple hours late. Up until that time, I would have figured that he was having more fun than anticipated so I'd leave it alone. You don't say that you attempted to contact him though...so my answer of what would I do for a 12:45a.m. entrance would depend on that part of the story. But whether we had an issue at the end of the night about it or not, because I know my husband and because this would have been an infrequent situation and because (I'm assuming) he wasn't tipsy, I likely wouldn't raise it above a miffed one time conversation.
Edited: I read your update. I would have thought his borrowing a cellphone would have been a stickler for me (that was actually in the back of my mind when I was wondering if you had tried contacting him. I figured if you hadn't, then I would suspect it wouldn't have crossed his mind either. I see that's not the case.)
Yes. This pretty much sums up what my response would have been. Seriously, I have about a 20 minute window before my head starts going to worse case scenarios. However, I would have to say that you would have had to reach out AND be ignored before the full freak out.
Just saw your update. The freak out is justified. Hope everything has smoothed out by now. He does gets props for being the DD. Every guy is going to be a knucklehead sometimes. You have to call them on it - of course. But then you have to forgive....