More and more lately I find myself having horrible days. I'm six weeks PP and I still constantly check my daughter to see if she is breathing at night. I have horrible dreams about loosing her. I get angry at my husband over everything. I can't stand to be touched or complimented. And ever sexual joke or advance my husband throws my way makes me feel disgusting. And when I'm horrible to him I just hide and cry because I know I love him but lately I can't stand him or anyone. I can't look in the mirror because of how much my new body disgusts me. I can't sleep and the only time I feel calm is when my daughter is asleep on my chest. I don't know if I'm depressed or if my hormones are still kicking my butt but I can't stay this way I feel horrible
Re: Am I depressed or hormonal
I can remember feeling the SAME way after my daughter was born & I'm dreading the idea of it happening again when our 2nd one comes.
I can't say if it's depression or hormones, maybe a little of both but it's normal to feel that way for alot of us.
If you get a monitor for the crib (I forgot the name of the one we have) it alerts you if the baby stops breathing at night. I couldnt sleep until we got it, I checked her ALL the time but knowing that the alarm would sound if she stopped moving was a huge relief.
Not sleeping isnt helping things much for you either so your more moody and feel like your loosing your mind a little!
Once you start to "look" more like yourself you'll feel a little better too. But that takes time, dont be so hard on yourself and if you can explain to your husband why your Jeckyl & Hyde right now he may understand a little more and give you some space or an extra shoulder to cry on (because we do that alot now too)
I felt disgusting about myself after my daughter was born, I didnt want to be touched, stay away from my breasts because they feed my child now was all I could think about if my husband came near me & the thought of sex grossed me out. I just didnt feel sexy or pretty or like someones wife. I felt like I was suppose to be a Mother and that was all my head could process.
Give it some time & talk to some friends if you can. Do what you can to exercise a little and get your body back to normal and you'll start to feel better when you see that your looking better to yourself. Just remember that your not crazy & your not alone.
This is part of the journey. So easy to say while I'm not going through it yet...so I may need a reminder myself in a few months LOL
Good luck!
I'm 8 weeks PP and still feel whatever you just wrote. I was just about to come to this message board to ask the exact same thing. It's good to remember that lots of new moms feel this way and that it is normal. I'm planning to go to a counsellor soon.
Curious to know from others though how long PPD/anxiety might last if it's only due to hormones?
I had the baby blues pretty badly for 2 weeks after LO was born. Typically BB only lasts for a few days to a few weeks. If it's much longer it may be PPD or postpartum anxiety (which is rarely talked about but very common). I'd recommend following up w/your doctor or therapist.
FWIW my baby blues was triggered by sleep deprivation. LO was pretty fussy and I wasn't sleeping once we came home from the hospital. We recently hired a night nurse 3 nights a week and I can't tell you how much of a difference this has made in my mood.
My doctor said with new mothers she has seen getting help at night (whether that's your mom, YH, or a night nurse) have a more positive effect than meds like Prozac w/many of her patients because sleep deprivation is a major trigger for mood disorders. If you aren't sleeping, try to figure out a way to get more sleep and see if that also helps. For me, it helped immensely and kept me from falling down the rabbit hole.
3 IUIs to get BFP w/baby #2
Lost baby #2 at nearly 12 weeks (D&C on 9/19/14)