Lost

Re: Lost

• cupcake201 member

  January 2013

  I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could say that would help. We are all here for you if you need to talk, vent, anything. Huge hugs!

  
  

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  TTC#1 since 4/11 : m/c in 9/11 & 11/11
  

  DH dx with Balanced Translocation 5/12 
  

  Did 3 IVFs - 10/12, 1/13 & 4/13 before

  1 embryo passed PGD and transferred - BFP

  Our beautiful baby girl has arrived!

  S/PAIF Welcome
  

  
  

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• chucktgirl member

  January 2013

  LuClo:

  Just checking it to see how you're doing this morning?  

  I don't think that a few hours sleep (or a sleep-less night) would fix anything, but last night's post was really low and I went to bed worried about you.  

  TO ALL WHO RESPONDED:
  When I was writing my orig post, I didn't even care if anyone responded, because I knew it wouldn't change a thing. Today, reading all of your wonderful and caring responses has had me crying the whole time and actually felt a little comforting. Yes, it doesn't change anything, but somehow it helps to know I'm not alone--even though that sounds horrible because I don't wish IF on ANYONE ever. We have not shared our babyquest with anyone else at all, so I guess sometimes it does feel good to talk with others on this board, since I have no one else to share with. Best of all, most of you understand what I'm going through! Anyway, I don't know what will happen next. I know I will be 42 in a few months. I understand that realistically, it is nearly impossible for me to get pregnant with my own eggs. But my soul doesn't feel that way. I am healthy and feel young. I am darn near broke now, but I want one more shot at it. I keep thinking of things I can sell to raise more money! DH is just devastated and can't look at the future right now. I have made an appointment with another IVF facility in my state. For all I know, they will tell me the exact same thing as my current RE, to stop trying. I don't know. But if buying myself two more weeks of hope will help me stop crying today, then it must be worth something. I don't know how to make the decision to give up the hope of my own take home baby.
  
  Sorry it was so long...I just kept typing! Thank you all for the amazing support-- hyou actually did make an impact on me. I wish everyone here the success that has (so far) eluded me!

  *Please don't suggest DE or adoption, as they are not options for us. TIA!
  
  To LuClo, this was so kind of you! Yes, my little sleep was poor. But it is very touching to me that you thought of me off the board. Thank you so much!

  
  

  
  My BLOG: www.ivfbabyquest.wordpress.com -Update - old blog.

  PAIF/SAIF Welcome!
  Me: 42, Hubby: 35, TTC since Jan 2010. Dx: DOR due to advanced maternal age. Also: Hypothyroidism (100mcg Levothyroxin). Positive for MTHFR (hetero-C677T), Factor V Leiden, and Fragile X (on DH side). Taking pre-natal vitamins.
  First natural PG 9/27/11; mc: 1/20/12
  First RE visit: 8/8/12, Saline Sonogram: 8/28/12, IVF injection class: 10/11/12, add FaBB Tab for FVL, +Vitamin D.
  IVF #1: 10/17/12 Baseline: FSH- 9.4, E2- 24, LH- 3.7, Prog- 0.3 The u/s showed 6 follicles in my right  & 9 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ nightly. 10/21/12: Add Ganirelix SQ every morning.
  ER 10/28/12: 13 Retreived. 7 Mature. 6 Fertilized. 5 Made it to PGS. ET 11/2/12: CANCELED. All 5 came back from PGS as having "severe abnormalities."
  IVF #2: 1/7/13 Baseline: FSH- 8.8, 4 follicles in my right & 6 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ nightly. 1/11/13: Add Ganirelix SQ every morning. hCG Trigger 1/16/13
  ER 1/18/13: 9 Retrieved. 5 Mature. 5 Fertilized. 2 Made it to PGS. ET 1/23/13: CANCELED. All embryos (he even sent the ones not growing) came back from PGS as having "multiple severe abnormalities."
  IVF #3: NEW RE! 3/1/13 Baseline: FSH- 9.6, E2- 61, Prog- 0.94, 3 follicles in my right & 4 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle& 150 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/7/13: Add Ganirelix SQ in AM. hCG Trigger 3/9/13 SQ.
  ER 3/11/13: 6R, 2M, 2F. Day 3: one 8 cell, grade 0.  Five day ET 3/16/13: one early blast, grade Fair. 3/24/13 AF came a day before beta. BFN
  IVF #4: (Added acupuncture to this cycle.) 3/25/13 WTF & Baseline: FSH-11.8, E2- 56, Prog- 0.84 3/26/13 Start stims. 3/30/13 u/s: 5 follicles in my right & 4 in my left. Rx: 225 Bravelle& 225 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/31/13 Add Ganirelix SQ in AM.hCG Trigger 4/3/13 SQ.
  ER 4/5/13: 5R, 3M, 3F naturally. Day 3: two 8 cell, grade 0, one 8 cell, grade 2 (Scale 0-best to 3-worst). Five day ET 4/10/13: two blastocysts (the 3^rd stopped growing.) Beta 4/18/13: 2.5 BFFN. RE recommends we stop trying and focus on living childless, due to the extremely poor quality of my eggs.
  ***Decided to stop trying and live CFNBC. I couldn't adjust. So, six months later...
  IVF #5: Changed RE. Going to one of the big name clinics now. OWDU: 10/29/13. Update: HORRIBLE experience. Disgusted and distraught at their complete unprofessionalism and how much money and precious time they cost us. Sickening. Have now changed RE again. New Patient appt. 1/30/14.
  BFP! Out of nowhere, I got KU the old fashioned way! POAS 1/26/14 - Positive! FDLM 12/30/13. Beta #1 16dpo= 373. Beta #2 18dpo= 801. EDD 10/6/14
  2/4/14 1st U/S revealed a 5wk2day sac but no fetal pole. Started 200mgs of progesterone suppositories daily
  2/11/14 2nd U/S revealed a perfect 6wk1day "diamond ring" embryo with a beating heart! 138bpm! Add 1mg folic acid and 40mg Lovenox
  2/25/14 3rd U/S: perfect 8w1d embryo, 178bpm. 3/6 start spotting. 3/11 10w1d U/S shows no heartbeat. Scheduling D&C. The Stork has forsaken me again.
  IVF #5.2: New in-state RE. Supplement priming for 1.5 cycles prior to start of cycle, including DHEA 50mg (stopped 5/15), CoQ10 200mg 2x/day, L-Arginine- 1000mg 2x/day (stopped 6/5 due to cold sore!), myo-inositol- 2g 2x/day, melatonin- 3mg, and Neevo (prenatal for MTHFR).
  5/16/14 Day 2 bw cycle prior: FSH- 12.22, E2- 38.37, Prog- 1.35, LH- 9.46. 6/2/14 Day 19 bw: Prog- 23
  6/12/14 Baseline: E2- 122.7, Prog- 0.4. 5 follicles in left, 4 follicles in right. Start stims: 375IU Follistim & 150IU Menopur. 6/19 Increase Follistim to 425IU, Menopur still 150IU. 6/18 add Ganirelix. 6/23 Ovidrel trigger SQ. 6/25 ER: 8R, 8M, 5F naturally. Start Medrol & Doxy. 6/26 Start Endometrin. 7/2 Start Lovenox.
  7/8/14 Beta= 137.4 BFP!!! (My first from IVF!) E2- 1109, Prog- >60. Stop CoQ10, myo-inositol, and melatonin. 7/9 2nd Beta= 281.4. TSH- 2.70. Increasing Synthroid to 100mcg daily. 7/24 6w3d u/s measured 6w3d, hb: 121bmp! 8/5 8w1d u/s measured 8w3d, hb: 164bpm! Graduated from RE to OB. Now I just need to find an OB!
  EDD 3/18/15!
  

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• LuClo member

  January 2013

  That's what we're here for. If nothing else, you're not alone.
  Good luck with the next consult. It might be worth setting up and appointment with a therapist who specializes in IF while you're waiting. Just to help figure out a contingency plan.

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• Cypress82 member

  January 2013

  So sorry to hear of this. That is not the news anyone wants to hear, but as was mentioned before, miracles do happen. Hang in there. You have a great support system here.

  **TTC #1 Sep 2009-Feb 2013**   Me: 33 DH: 32 (healthy, SA = normal)

  DX (May 2010) = Lap #1 showed Stage I-II endometriosis. HSG normal. Tx with 6 mo Lupron (which did nothing...) Lap #2 June 2011 to remove endo, uterine fibroid, and polyp

  IUI #1-#3 (July-Sep 2011): All Clomid 50 mg + unmonitored IUI = All BFN

  October 2011 - April 2012: Outta $$$ (no insurance coverage) = back to tryin' on our own

  May 2012 - August 2012: Mental break from trying

  October 2012: New OB. Bloodwork normal aside from slightly low progesterone

  November 2012: IUI #4: Letrozole 2.5 mg + Novarel trigger + monitored IUI + progesterone = BFN

  IVF #1: Long Lupron Protocol,Menopur,Follistim, ER = 2/12/13 27R/26M/23F

  2/17/13 Transferred 1 perfect Grade 1 blast. 17 frostbabies.

  HPT 7dp5dt: BFP!!! Beta #1 9dp5dt: 108 Beta #2 11dp5dt: 368

  U/S #1 3/21: Heartbeat and one perfect bean!!  DS born 11/6/13 via c-section

  
  

  TTC #2 March - August 2015 = all BFNs
  

  Prep for FET #1: Aug 2015: found "mass" in uterus on saline sonogram; scheduled a hysteroscopy to remove. 
  

  Sept 2015: Hysteroscopy: mass turned out to be scar tissue(?), all removed. Recheck saline sonogram 2 weeks later showed "stuff" still in uterus (more scar tissue? remnants from surgery? Will see if clears with a period). Recheck saline sonogram 1 week later: all clear! Start Lupron and Estrace. Follow up u/s 2 weeks later: uterine lining only 5mm, add in patches. Follow up u/s 1 week later: uterine lining = 4.3mm (argh!), stop estrace and patches and start estradiol injections twice/week. Follow up u/s 2 weeks later: uterine lining = 5mm Instructed to keep on estradiol injections and recheck in 5 days = lining still at 5mm. Need to make a decision - go for it? Or toss in the towel w/ this cycle and start all over again next year with a new protocol. Decided to go for it as we had 17 frosties; what have we got to lose?? 
  

  12/2/15 = transferred 1 perfect Grade B blast

  12/9/15 = HPT - BFP!!!!

  Beta #1 12/11/15: 236    Beta #2  12/14/15: 503   Please stick little one!!!!

  U/S scheduled for week of 1/4/16
  

   

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