Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
greenteabee
member
Re: CS the 28th, what should I expect?
The surgery itself isn't very long (about 30 minutes from start to finish). You might get the shakes in recovery as the medication comes out of your system - don't fight it, just relax into it and it's not too bad if it happens to you (and it doesn't last long). Try to get up and walk around as soon as they give you the okay to - it really helps with the overall recovery to get moving as much as possible.
Since I didn't get to hold my boys right away, I always got the first kisses - I love having that memory
.
Good luck! You'll probably be more aware than if you were having an emergency c-section or vaginal birth, so take it all in and enjoy every moment of your precious little miracles entering the world!
The best thing I brought to the hospital was the boppy. Because I had no stomach muscles after surgery this made things much easier.
Bring shower stuff. That shower 2 days after surgery was amazing. I felt refreshed. I also put makeup on because it makes me feel better and put together, as silly as that sounds.
Are you far from home? We were about 5 min from home so I sent DH home during the days for a few hours so he could get a little sleep. The beds at the hospital were pretty uncomfortable for him so this gave him a break so he could help out at night.
And take lots of pics:-) Good luck!
Bring big comfy underwear that goes higher than your incision. Pads, because your body will still act as if it fave birth vaginally. But without the stretching out of your vagay jay, woop woop!
Comfy pants! Nursing bra. I had antibiotic cream stuff for incision. Your pillow from home maybe that you love.
Lip balm!
Yes a boppy!! This helped me so so so much with nursing! Your incision does hurt so its hard to hold your lo in your lap, so a bobby helps a lot!
And do not let them take out your catheter until you can walk!!!!! If they do and you can't walk, they have to put it back it! I stopped the nurses from taking it out until I knew I could make it to the bathroom! I was not ready to walk yet.
My legs were numb for a very long time, seems like they will never be the same, but they will be.
Sorry I keep coming up with things! Stool softeners a big yes, get those! And peeingwill be weid for a while. I was afraid to poop lol when I finally did I was so happy.
They didn't let me eat solids for I think 12 hours after surgery? I did not like that.
If you have issues with the pain meds they give you, ask for something different. (If it's not working, if it's making you too loopy, or whatever - get them to find something that works for you.)
Stool softeners and anti-gas meds: TAKE THEM.
Adjust your bed really HIGH when you get up after surgery - It's easier than trying to hoist yourself out of bed. Then when you come back, sit on the edge of the bed and then lower it back down. Also, hold a pillow against your stomach when you stand/sit to put counter-pressure against your incision - that will also help with the pain.
I agree about taking shower stuff - that first shower was AWESOME.
Also, get your house set up before you leave - if you have stairs, make sure that everything you need is on one floor so you won't have to go up and down.
I remember the nurses/others warning me about getting the shakes after surgery, but nobody told me how itchy the meds would make me. They gave me the highest dose of benadryl, but I still itched so badly I broke skin while scratching. Luckily that went away after a few hours.
If you can, take the mesh underwear and gigantic pads home-I lived in those the first few days.
well everything is basically done for you, the worse part for me was the silly nurse who botched up my iv and eventually the aneath had to do it... the epidural wasnt painful, the preasure they speak of is wierd but not painful... take the pain meds and youll be fine
1. If you begin to feel nauseous during the operation, let the anethesiologist know ASAP, there is medicine they can give to ease the discomfort.
2. Have a code word or phrase with your DH or nurse to let them know you are done with visitors and need your rest.
3. Use your fists and ankles to sit up move around in the bed and not your stomach muscles.
4. Take those stool softeners, however if they don't work after a 2-3 days, take a suppositotry. For me, the constipation was the worst part. I did everything I could. I took every stool softener they gave me. I drank tons of water, juice, and hot tea. I ate salads and raisin bran every day. I walked as soon as I could and all of that did nothing. Finally on the 3rd day in the hospital, I could see the writing on the wall and asked for a suppository. I was so glad I did. I got relief in 30 minutes instead of hours or days. ( This was at least my experience with my thrid c/s, the other too I suffered for days )
5. Like PPs said, buy high waisted granny panties. Anything else will hit at your incision line and bother you. Also buy gauchos or yoga pants, those will be more comfortable than the maternity jeans.
6. I know this isn't environmentally friendly, but I would get disposable plates, cups, and silverware so that you or anyone else has to worry about doing dishes.
Something I haven't seen mentioned yet: extreme swelling from my legs starting at just above the knees going to my toes. I was told it had something to do with all of the meds and the IV. The best thing I could do was get up and walk around as much as possible, and keep my feet elevated when I was in bed.
My surgery wasn't planned, but it went well. Recovery went so well that I shocked my doctor at my 1 week check-up. She couldn't believe that I was moving around so well and my pain level was pretty minimal all things considered. I never finished all of the pain meds they discharged me with, and I have a very low tolerance of pain.