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WWYD? (infant loss mentioned)

MAtoNCMAtoNC member
in Parenting after a Loss

One of my son's favorite teachers from his old school delivered twins late last week (full-term). They discovered AFTER the children were born (boy and girl), that her son had a congenital heart defect (from what I have gathered, it sounds like it may be HLHS or something similar). He had surgery yesterday, came through that alright, but then took a sudden turn later in that day, and they lost him.

When I found out that her son would be in the hospital, I put together a NICU care package to deliver to her school for one of her friends/coworkers to bring to her. Obviously, I will not do that now.

I would like to put a different package together for her, and I am wondering if any of you might have some insight about what to include (I don't want to crash the loss board to ask this question). 

I would like to acknowledge the birth and loss of her precious son while also acknowledging the birth of her daughter. Sadly, this is not the first time that I have had the occasion to acknowledge a loss such as this, but never when they were a twin. 

Any insight anyone might have would be greatly appreciated. 

 

Married 4/12/08 DS born 11/17/2009 via c-section at 39 weeks. 11/12/2011 BFP #2!! m/c 7w5d. 2/28/2012 BFP #3 Beta #1-12dpo = 18; Beta #2-16dpo = 185; Beta #3-18dpo = 505. EDD 11/10/2012. Ectopic discovered at 5w4d. D&C followed by methotrexate.
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Re: WWYD? (infant loss mentioned)

  • Junebug060609Junebug060609 member
    I believe the Loss board has a link to a blog with helpful suggestions in it. Look in the header of the board, near the description.

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14

     

    Lilypie - (2llN)

    Lilypie - (2L9u)

     

      My Recipe Blog
    ~All AL'ers welcome~

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  • Petunia844Petunia844 member

    imageJunebug060609:
    I believe the Loss board has a link to a blog with helpful suggestions in it. Look in the header of the board, near the description.

    this, you will find insight from lots of us here. 

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    CafeMom Tickers

    Married the love of my life 7/11/09 - Our first baby, Peyton Mark, was born sleeping 10/25/11 at 33 weeks - Our second baby, BFP 2/4/12, welcome to the world Raylan! Holy Moly, BPF 2/4/14, please be safe and sound little one!

    My Blog

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  • 4legsRbest4legsRbest member
    I don't have any suggestions, but she and her family are in my prayers.
    Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
    #1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
    IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
    #1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
    #1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
    H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
    #2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
    M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!

      Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • HelenahhandbasketHelenahhandbasket member

    I am mostly a lurker here, but I feel compelled to respond.

    10 years ago my cousin gave birth to twin girls and lost one three weeks after she was born to a congenital heart defect.  To this day, she wears a silver charm bracelet with two little girl charms dangling off of it.  Her best friend gave it to her.

    I don't know if something like that is too personal to give her (it might be) but I just felt like I had to share.

     

    So sorry to hear stories like this.

     

    BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12

    Lilypie - (TUWi)

     

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  • Junebug060609Junebug060609 member

    I had a moment while my DS was sleeping to grab the link to the page on the blog for you.  It has a lot of great suggestions.  Hopefully it helps.  You are wonderful for thinking of this family!

    https://thelossblog.blogspot.com/p/how-to-help.html

    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11

    BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14

     

    Lilypie - (2llN)

    Lilypie - (2L9u)

     

      My Recipe Blog
    ~All AL'ers welcome~

    Report Reply
  • MAtoNCMAtoNC member

    Thanks so much everyone. The loss blog and the ebook linked on the blog were especially helpful. 

    Thanks also for the specific ideas for twins. 

    Married 4/12/08 DS born 11/17/2009 via c-section at 39 weeks. 11/12/2011 BFP #2!! m/c 7w5d. 2/28/2012 BFP #3 Beta #1-12dpo = 18; Beta #2-16dpo = 185; Beta #3-18dpo = 505. EDD 11/10/2012. Ectopic discovered at 5w4d. D&C followed by methotrexate.
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