Medical cost share

jennipalmer · January 2013

So, I just got email from my Ex even though I was with him all day because our son was having oral surgery, for my half of the copays for her meds. Our daughter has had some major skin issues first he took her to doctor without telling me and sent me bill for half co pay of visit and meds. When I wrote him the check I told him this would be last I have my kids covered under insurance also and it is Tricare is should pick up all copays or atleast damn close. I also infomed him I can get meds on base for free without the hassle of dealing with insurance issues such as name brands high copays etc.

When I got email it said I owed 29.50 for my half per our court order. I responded, "did you inform them of her secondary insurance? I also told you I can get meds on base for free" He hasn't responded yet but I am pissed and I don't want to pay on principle!!! He is jealous my husband and I do well and are not careless with our money. The $30 is not going to break me but point is he can't make medical choices without me we have joint custody. Second he is freaking coward because he never talks to me about stuff like this because he knows I would have went off on him, he emails me at 9pm!! I am thinking of calling my lawyer because I will not be taken advantage of for next 9 years till my youngest is 18.

What would you do??!!

Nineoceans · January 2013

Unfortunately he can make medical decisions without you. Our custody order states that all major medical will be decided together but that whomever is in care of the child is responsible for making the call to take them to be treated at the time. He is the parent and he is the one in charge when they're with him.

There's not a judge in the world who would hear your ex say "my daughter was suffering from a skin break out and my ex wife is upset over 30 dollars." And rule in your favor.

This is just one of those you had a baby with a jerk so now there are some battles you can't fight over type of thing

xmaryrickx · January 2013

Stop flying off the handle. You know he emails you this kind of thing because you admittedly flip out. He is being smart by emailing you. Documentation. It sounds like he has primary custody. In which case, as pp stated he needs to get them medical care and inform you of it. Not call you every time something comes up and they need to go to the doctor. Call their doctors office and pharmacy and make sure they have the tricare listed as secondary. But beyond that, get control of yourself. Maybe he would call you with theses things if you didn't admittedly flip out.

socloudy99 · January 2013

I wouldn't pay it. Sometimes that is the only way to get your point across. Tricare is amazing (SKs used to have it through exSF). The child has two coverages. It is the parent taking the childs responsiblity to provide insurance information when taking the child. At the bear minimum ask them to call you to get the Tricare information. Doctors and dentist offices have called me to get the info when BM forgets the insurance card. I can fax them the card and verify any info they need on the phone. Email him back a copy of the Tricare card. Remind him of the secondary coverage on the email. Tell him you are able to take calls regarding the Tricare insurance if the medical provider has questions. It is silly to continue to pay these things out of pocket if you are a willing to make sure the child gets the perscriptions they need in a timely manner.

lb1212 · January 2013

I can't tell you how frustrating it is to be on the other end.of this!! DH provides insurance for SD (really good insurance), yet BM somehow applied for TN-Care for SD. She'd rather take SD to the dr for a prescription rather than pay $4 for SD allergy medicine. SD went without the allergy meds for 2 weeks while BM waited for an apt at the free clinic. DH and I offered several times to bring SD the medicine or giving her $4 to buy it. BM refused - "I get it free with TN-Care."

Pay your share. If you want to turn around and re-file it with the other insurance, then do so.

jennipalmer · January 2013

I would flip out on him because this is the 4th time he has done stuff with out informing me. We have joint/joint. Kids stay with me two days Mon-Thurs and trade off everyother Friday-Sunday. He was told by judge and mediator he has to inform me whenever he makes new doctors appointment is made or if they are going to emergency room and vice versa for me, This came up because he allowed our daughter to get HPV vaccination without informing me and sent me the bill when it wasn't covered by his insurance but I could have gotten it on base free. But I would have done more research on it because it has only been out a few years. He took our son to a therapist and was reprimanded by judge because he never informed me and even after being told to by judge it took me 5 weeks of calls, emails and text messages to get the information. The skin issue was ring worm and he didn't inform me she got ring worm he said my young daughterr should have told me out come of dr visit...so I got ring worm too! I am stay at home mom all he has to do is tell me and I am there. And for my insurance all he has to do is show kids military id and it will be taken care of. Also, this isn't one refill I was with him at doctors office when he wrote script I asked if he wanted me to get it filled he said he would take care of it and then I asked if he has her military id he said yes. I then went and got all the over the counter stuff doctor recommended totally over $40 and gave it to him but then when she came to my house two days later she didn't bring any of it with her.

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