Infertility

Lost

My RE just called. It's never good news when the doctor himself calls you. I was waiting for instructions on my ET tomorrow morning. He said all embryos came back from PGS with severe abnormalities. Again. There is nothing to transfer. Worse, I asked him what's next? He said, "There is no next. Your egg quality is consistantly too poor. It is not worth doing this anymore." He knows that DE and adoption are out of the question. So, basically, you're saying I'm never going to have a baby? "I'm sorry."

Where do you go from there? There is no where. I've just been handed the sentence that I will never have a baby. How do you deal with that? No food will taste good. No amount of wine will help. Tears are a waste. I just flat out feel like a failure, and that I have no further purpose in life. I know that sounds drastic, but it is entirely accurate.

 Please take me off the Polar Bear list.


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My BLOG: www.ivfbabyquest.wordpress.com -Update - old blog.

PAIF/SAIF Welcome!
Me: 42, Hubby: 35, TTC since Jan 2010. Dx: DOR due to advanced maternal age. Also: Hypothyroidism (100mcg Levothyroxin). Positive for MTHFR (hetero-C677T), Factor V Leiden, and Fragile X (on DH side). Taking pre-natal vitamins
.
First natural PG 9/27/11; mc: 1/20/12

First RE visit: 8/8/12, Saline Sonogram: 8/28/12, IVF injection class: 10/11/12, add FaBB Tab for FVL, +Vitamin D.
IVF #1: 10/17/12 Baseline: FSH- 9.4, E2- 24, LH- 3.7, Prog- 0.3 The u/s showed 6 follicles in my right  & 9 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ nightly. 10/21/12: Add Ganirelix SQ every morning.
ER 10/28/12: 13 Retreived. 7 Mature. 6 Fertilized. 5 Made it to PGS. ET 11/2/12: CANCELED. All 5 came back from PGS as having "severe abnormalities."
IVF #2: 1/7/13 Baseline: FSH- 8.8, 4 follicles in my right & 6 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle & 150 Menopur SQ nightly. 1/11/13: Add Ganirelix SQ every morning. hCG Trigger 1/16/13

ER 1/18/13: 9 Retrieved. 5 Mature. 5 Fertilized. 2 Made it to PGS. ET 1/23/13: CANCELED. All embryos (he even sent the ones not growing) came back from PGS as having "multiple severe abnormalities."
IVF #3:
NEW RE! 3/1/13 Baseline: FSH- 9.6, E2- 61, Prog- 0.94, 3 follicles in my right & 4 in my left. Rx: 150 Bravelle& 150 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/7/13: Add Ganirelix SQ in AM. hCG Trigger 3/9/13 SQ.
ER 3/11/13: 6R, 2M, 2F. Day 3: one 8 cell, grade 0.  Five day ET 3/16/13: one early blast, grade Fair. 3/24/13 AF came a day before beta. BFN

IVF #4: 
(Added acupuncture to this cycle.) 3/25/13 WTF & Baseline: FSH-11.8, E2- 56, Prog- 0.84 3/26/13 Start stims. 3/30/13 u/s: 5 follicles in my right & 4 in my left. Rx: 225 Bravelle& 225 Menopur SQ in PM. 3/31/13 Add Ganirelix SQ in AM.hCG Trigger 4/3/13 SQ.
ER 4/5/13: 5R, 3M, 3F naturally. Day 3: two 8 cell, grade 0, one 8 cell, grade 2 (Scale 0-best to 3-worst). Five day ET 4/10/13: two blastocysts (the 3rd stopped growing.) Beta 4/18/13: 2.5 BFFN. RE recommends we stop trying and focus on living childless, due to the extremely poor quality of my eggs.
***Decided to stop trying and live CFNBC. I couldn't adjust. So, six months later...

IVF #5: Changed RE. Going to one of the big name clinics now. OWDU: 10/29/13. Update: HORRIBLE experience. Disgusted and distraught at their complete unprofessionalism and how much money and precious time they cost us. Sickening. Have now changed RE again. New Patient appt. 1/30/14.
BFP! Out of nowhere, I got KU the old fashioned way! POAS 1/26/14 - Positive! FDLM 12/30/13. Beta #1 16dpo= 373. Beta #2 18dpo= 801. EDD 10/6/14
2/4/14 1st U/S revealed a 5wk2day sac but no fetal pole. Started 200mgs of progesterone suppositories daily
2/11/14 2nd U/S revealed a perfect 6wk1day "diamond ring" embryo with a beating heart! 138bpm! Add 1mg folic acid and 40mg Lovenox
2/25/14 3rd U/S: perfect 8w1d embryo, 178bpm. 3/6 start spotting. 3/11 10w1d U/S shows no heartbeat. Scheduling D&C. The Stork has forsaken me again.
IVF #5.2: New in-state RE. Supplement priming for 1.5 cycles prior to start of cycle, including DHEA 50mg (stopped 5/15), CoQ10 200mg 2x/day, L-Arginine- 1000mg 2x/day (stopped 6/5 due to cold sore!), myo-inositol- 2g 2x/day, melatonin- 3mg, and Neevo (prenatal for MTHFR).
5/16/14 Day 2 bw cycle prior: FSH- 12.22, E2- 38.37, Prog- 1.35, LH- 9.46. 6/2/14 Day 19 bw: Prog- 23
6/12/14 Baseline: E2- 122.7, Prog- 0.4. 5 follicles in left, 4 follicles in right. Start stims: 375IU Follistim & 150IU Menopur. 6/19 Increase Follistim to 425IU, Menopur still 150IU. 6/18 add Ganirelix. 6/23 Ovidrel trigger SQ. 6/25 ER: 8R, 8M, 5F naturally. Start Medrol & Doxy. 6/26 Start Endometrin. 7/2 Start Lovenox.
7/8/14 Beta= 137.4 BFP!!! (My first from IVF!) E2- 1109, Prog- >60. Stop CoQ10, myo-inositol, and melatonin. 7/9 2nd Beta= 281.4. TSH- 2.70. Increasing Synthroid to 100mcg daily. 7/24 6w3d u/s measured 6w3d, hb: 121bmp! 8/5 8w1d u/s measured 8w3d, hb: 164bpm! Graduated from RE to OB. Now I just need to find an OB!
EDD 3/18/15!

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Re: Lost

  • I"m so sorry...there's nothing anyone can say to make you feel better...I just hope that with time you are able to find happiness...and miracles do happen when you least expect them...Cliche, yes- but true none the less... **Hugs**

    *Siggy Warning*

    TTC since 11/11. 10 months natural= 10 BFN 8/12 First appt with RE 4 semen anaylsis later 1.9 million count, 21% motility and very poor morphology Me- bloodwork, 2 ultrasounds, HSG exam =I'm fine / 3 months of testosterone treatments = 3 more BFN DH bloodwork after 3 months treatment= no change/  

    RE says we can continue with hormone treatment for MIF, RE says we can try IUI but doesn't expect the results to be good based on severe MIF/ 

     IVFw/ICSI Cycle #1 1/11/13 Antagonist Protocol IVF Cycle #1 Canceled due to poor response and lead follicle problems. 1/18/13 started Provera to get body back to baseline / take a break to re-evaluate and recoop finances

    IVFw/ICSI Cycle #2 4/13/14 Supressed with Estrace for 7 days. / Started injections 4/22/14. Baseline -0 follicles  Started 75iu menapur/150iu follistim, morning and evening injections   ER- 8 Retrieved, 7M, 7F, 5/8 transferred2 Good 8 and 9 cell Embryos. Beta #1 at 11dp3dt  67! I'm pregnant! Beta #2 174! Ultrasound scheduled 6/6/14

    Ultrasound on 6/6 confirmed a singleton pregnancy and a heartbeat, although my iradic breathing would allow us to get the rate.  Second ultrasound measured great and got to hear he heartbeat!! 176 bpm Graduating to my OBGYN with our next appointment with them being 7/23/14

     

     
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  • There are no words to tell you how sorry I am. <<HUGS>>
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  • imageAmyou06:
    I"m so sorry...there's nothing anyone can say to make you feel better...I just hope that with time you are able to find happiness...**Hugs**

    This. I'm sorry you're in so much pain.

    Married my wife 8/2007 ~ TTC #1 since 7/2011
    9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
    IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
    ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
    FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
    Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
    FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
    EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
    *Everyone welcome*

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I am so, so sorry.  
  • imageball.and.chain:

    imageAmyou06:
    I"m so sorry...there's nothing anyone can say to make you feel better...I just hope that with time you are able to find happiness...**Hugs**

    This. I'm sorry you're in so much pain.

    All of this. Prayers for you and your husband during this difficult time. 

    TTC #1 since 12/2010 DH: MFI, cancer survivor Me: Resected septate uterus, lap treated mild endo, tubes open, ovulate on own, autoimmune disease 3 Failed IUI's (2/2012, 4/2012, 6/2012) 
    IVF #1 August 2012. BFP! Beta #1 56.7 Beta #2 150 One baby, one heartbeat on 9/20/12! no h/b @7w6d. dandc @8w0d
    FET #1 December 2012, BFN
    FET #2 February 2013, no embies survived thaw
    IVF #2, BFP #2, Loss #2 March 2013, Scar tissue discovered, RPL testing,
    IVF #3, BFP #3, Loss #3 (twins) September 2013
    Hostile ute, moving onto Gestational Carrier!

    GC/FET #1 of 1 5AA blast and 1 compacted blast, February 2014, BFP #4 on 3/1/2014!
    6w u/s 1 bean with h/b of 145 bpm, 8w u/s 187 bpm
    EDD 11/7/14. Please, please, please stick little one!

    Praying unceasingly for a miracle. ALL welcome!

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  • I'm so sorry you have go through this. There's nothing I can say to make it better. But you do still have purpose. You might not be able to see it right now, and it might not be what you planned, but you have worth. You are a strong woman with amazing things to offer. You've walked through fire survived. You are stronger than this. We're all here for you. Sending love your way.

    What the catepillar calls the end, the master calls a butterfly.
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  • I am so incredibly sorry and wish there was anything I could say to take at least some of the pain away. I am sure it is overwhelming. Do take some time for yourselves though to grieve. Take a day or two from work if you can. Lean on those closest to you when you are ready if anyone knows about your struggles. Or just curl up in bed, cry and scream. Whatever you do, don't feel guilty about it. This journey is unbelievably difficult and incredibly unfair. Sending huge huge hugs to you.
    TTC since June 2011
    DX: DH (30) severe MFI, severely low count & low motility
    Me (32): all clear
    Appt with Urologist 5/21/12: exam, ultrasound, bloodwork all normal.
    Testicular Biopsy with TESE on 6/8/12. good sperm found! (left side only) froze sperm, failed thaw test :(
    Orientation for IVF/ICSI on 6/13/12. Waiting for the green light following biopsy results...results show adequate sperm production both sides.
    2nd SA 6/18/12: sample is "adequate for ICSI"
    Plan: IVF/ICSI July 2012!
    ER: 7/26/12. 15 eggs retrieved, all mature.
    TESE/TESA/aspiration from epididymis, no motile sperm found :(
    froze all eggs, the saga of praying for good sperm continues.
    8/3/12: 2nd opinion from MFI uro on biopsy slides. Suspects "partial late maturation arrest."
    Plan: more SAs, third biopsy/TESE with frozen back-up either from DH or DS.
    SA 8/17/12: Zero sperm
    SA 8/23/12: Zero sperm
    9/26/12: SPERM FOUND! 15 eggs thawed, 12 survived and were ICSI'd, only 3 fertilized normally. Refrozen as embies and will thaw in Nov. Please survive and grow!
    All 3 survived the thaw on 11/15/12!
    FET 11/17/12: transferred 2, one 4B, one 4C. Beta 11/30:BFFN
    moving on to DS
    DIUI#1 2/18/13,50mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta 3/4/13: BFN.
    DIUI#2 3/19/13, 50 mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta #1 (14dpiui) 4/2/13: BFP!!!! 150. Beta #2 4/4/13: 420 Beta #3 4/8/13: 2691. Beta #4 4/15/13: 15,086
    1st u/s 4/8/13 shows one gestational sac
    2nd u/s 4/15/13 shows yolk sac, fetal pole and early heartbeat
    3rd u/s 4/25/13: measuring right on track. Heart rate 148 bpm
    A/S 7/22/13: IT'S A BOY!!
    PAIF/SAIF Always Welcome
    [IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/2qmon5u.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd243/laurakat24/turkeybaster-1.jpg"[/IMG]Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I am so incredibly sorry. I wish I had the words, but I will send healing thoughts your way.
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    ***EVERYONE WELCOME***
    TTC #2 with assistance since 03/11
    Me: 33, Autoimmune (Hashimotos and FMS/CFS)
    Treated with Synthroid, acupuncture, TCM and supplements
    DH: 33, MFI (very low on all counts, high antibodies, hemochromatosis)
    Many treatments tried, none successful

    IVF/ICSI #1 05/14 - EPP/Antagonist, Gonal-F and Luveris, 18R, 14M, 13F - SET of 1BC, all arrested on day 5 - C/P
    Genetic testing = normal, DNA Frag = excellent
    IVF #2 03/15 - Long protocol with Suprefact, Gonal-F, and possibly Luveris, adding in PICSI
     
  • I am so sorry and wish I could say something to help. Many T&P being sent for you.

    ***signature & ticker warning***


    Me: 30 ~ Stage IV Endo ~ AMH .38 ~ AFC 8
    AMH .97 as of 4/2012! ~ AMH 1.63 as of 4/2013!?!

    Him: 29 ~ perfect swimmers

    Laparotomy w/partial oophorectomy 8/2009 to remove cysts/endo.
    Stopped BCP 4/2010.
    Multiple clomid rounds from 11/2010 to 6/2011. ~ All BFN
    IUI w/clomid 7/2011. IUI w/clomid & injectables 11/2011 & 1/2012. ~ All BFN

    IVF:EPP 5/2012 ~ (4R, 3M, 2F w/ICSI). Both embryos txfrd. ~ BFN
    BCP to manage endo from 10/2012 to 12/2012.
    FET w/donor embryos #1: 10/2013 Cancelled
    FET w/donor embryos #1.2: 11/2013
    ~ ET of 2 beautiful blasts on 11/27.
    Beta 1: 503(12dp5dt) Beta 2: 1035(14dpt) Beta 3: 3001(16dpt)
    Beta 4: 8503(19dpt)
    Twins with an EDD of 8/15/14! Team Purple
    G&B born 6/30/14 at 33w3d via emergency c/s.


    If you're wondering about my avatar...it's a fried pickle chip shaped like a fetus!


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  • I'm so so sorry.  Thoughts and prayers for you and DH to get through this. 
    Married 2007
    3 Clomid IUIs -- BFNs
    IVF #1 never made it to transfer
    On "egg health" cocktail DHEA/CoQ10/FRC/Pregnitude/Melatonin
    Starting IVF #2 for Feb 2013
    Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix
    Cancelled mid-cycle due to high P4 levels early on.
    OCPs again for IVF 2.5 mid-March. IVF 2.5 transferred two "gorgeous" 5-day blasts and BFFN. Even REI is baffled
    On indefinite hold until a huge stroke of serendipity led me to IVF 3 May 2014
    Testing found positive cardiolipins/APS, now on lovenox and intralipid infusions
    Transfer of 2 5-day blasts and (FINALLY) BFFP!! 1st ultrasound shows two sacs and two HB, but one is sluggish, almost expecting vanishing twin Subsequent ultrasound confirmed vanishing twin, but my other Little critter looks fantastic!
    "You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it."
    -- Margaret Thatcher


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  • I am so very sorry, there are no words. You and your DH are in my thoughts. I'm thinking of you during this difficult time.
    Oct 13 April Siggy: Bunnies
    The 33 Most Important Bunny GIFs On The Internet


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    DS born on 9/30/13 from IVF #1.2!
      Lilypie - (xNS5)
  • There are no words. I'm devastated for you. Be kind to yourself. You are a person worthy of love and happiness.  I hope that it finds you sooner than later. ((Hugs))
    ***Siggy Warning***

    imageimage
    Anniversary

    Started TTC June 2011Cycles #1-10 = BFNCycle #11: 100 mg Clomid + TI =BFNReferred to RE March 2012HSG all clear, FSH = 13, Prolactin = 28, S/A = greatApril 2012 MRI to check for brain tumor due to elevated Prolactin = clearJune 2012 Hysteroscopy to remove uterine polyps and partial septateJuly 2012 IUI #1 7/7/12 = BFNAugust 2012 IUI #2.1 Cancelled due to early/missed ovulation = BFNSeptember 2012 Forced break due to one huge cyst October 2012 IUI #2.2 = BFNNovember 2012 Begin BCPs for IVF #1December 2012 IVF #1 = Delayed due to cyst. Start stims 12/22January 2013 ER: 1/2, 14R, 10M, 9FET: 1/7 Transferred 1 "Perfect" blast! 4 frosties!Beta #1: 99 BFP! #2: 227 #3: 584 #4: 3,020Baby Boy born September 25, 2013

    TTC #2
    November 2014 - Begin BCPs
    December 2014 - Start Lupron 12/25
    January 2015 - FET #1

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    *Everyone Welcome*


  • imageLuClo:
    I'm so sorry you have go through this. There's nothing I can say to make it better. But you do still have purpose. You might not be able to see it right now, and it might not be what you planned, but you have worth. You are a strong woman with amazing things to offer. You've walked through fire survived. You are stronger than this. We're all here for you. Sending love your way.

    What the catepillar calls the end, the master calls a butterfly.


    This is beautiful. I agree with all of this. Sending humongous hugs.
    Oct 13 April Siggy: Bunnies
    The 33 Most Important Bunny GIFs On The Internet


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    DS born on 9/30/13 from IVF #1.2!
      Lilypie - (xNS5)
  • imagemelkel559:
    I am so incredibly sorry and wish there was anything I could say to take at least some of the pain away. I am sure it is overwhelming. Do take some time for yourselves though to grieve. Take a day or two from work if you can. Lean on those closest to you when you are ready if anyone knows about your struggles. Or just curl up in bed, cry and scream. Whatever you do, don't feel guilty about it. This journey is unbelievably difficult and incredibly unfair. Sending huge huge hugs to you.

    Exactly this. I am so very sorry, hun. ((huge hug))  


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    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • Oh honey you are in no way a failure.  Please never think that way.  You have tried so hard, much harder than most people.  You are a strong woman who has been dealt an unbearable hand and it is not fair.  No one should have to endure what you are going through.  I wish that there were some words that I could say that could take away some of your pain.  Please know that you and your dh are in my thoughts and prayers. 
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  • I'm so so so sorry to hear this. After news like this be kind to yourself, its not your fault. IF bites a big one and no one should have to go through something like that.
    Me: 33, Endocrine issues & FVL       DH: 32, Nothing 
    NTNP 2009-2012         TTC since 2012:
    • Clomid, 2 IUI cycles, and 5 IVF cycles = BFN
    • FET #1   August 2013 = BFP!     EDD 5/11/14
    • Jack dx at 19w1d with Dandy Walker on 12/16/13
    • Severe Pre-e /HELLP set in Jack born sleeping at 20w1d on 12/23/13
    • FET #2 --July 2014  BFP!  ---  EDD  4/5/15

    Jack has handpicked his sibling up there :)

    My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog

            Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

                                                      

                                                                              Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


                  Anniversary





  • I have no words except I am so terribly sorry and will pray for you and your husband to find peace.
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  • imageLuClo:
    I'm so sorry you have go through this. There's nothing I can say to make it better. But you do still have purpose. You might not be able to see it right now, and it might not be what you planned, but you have worth. You are a strong woman with amazing things to offer. You've walked through fire survived. You are stronger than this. We're all here for you. Sending love your way. What the catepillar calls the end, the master calls a butterfly.
    This. I am so sorry. Hugs.

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

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  • I am so sorry about your heartache. I know how lost you must feel. Praying that you somehow, someday find your miracle. My thoughts are with you. 
    Me: 37, DH: 38: ttc 7 years, dx: unknown
    10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
    11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid & normal hsg),
    12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s, 1/12: D&C
    6/12 IUI#1-IUI #3: clomid = BFP!, C/P
    IVF #1(10/12) FSH 5.4, AFC: 16 long Lupron, 5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast/1-8 cell transferred=BFN
    IVF #2(12/12)AFC 21, MD lupron, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast and 2-8cell. BFN.
    IVF#3(4/13) Natural start antagon protocol, 12R,11F. one PGS normal at day 6 transfer. BFN.
    IVF#4 (11/13) C.CRM (ODW.U normal 8/13 Still no Diagnosis) EPP/antagonist. ER 13R/7M/6F. Only 1 made it to freeze. Abnormal. Looking into options of DE, Fresh vs frozen.
    10/14 new local RE to look into what's next. CD3 FSH 4.7, AMH 0.9. Met with DE agencies and exploring options for feb/march 2015.
    Surprise natural bfp (4 days before donor is signed). Beta #1 at 9dpo: 51.8, 2nd beta: 195 (25 hours doubling) @11dpo. 3rd beta (12/15): 516 (35 hrs doubling) 4th beta(12/17): 895 (58 hours doubling) 5th beta(12/19): 2120. U/S at 5w0d(12/22): one gestational sac with yolk sac. U/S #2 (6w0d)12/29. One little bean measuring 6w0d with HR 124. 3rd u/s(1/4)7w0d: baby measuring 7w2d. HR 134. 3/30: A/S at MFM went great except for low lying placenta. Verifi results are normal! Team Blue! Please send any positive thoughts our way! EDD:8/24/2015
    Baby Will born 8/18. He's perfect.
  • I am so very sorry. Many T&Ps headed your way. (((Hugs)))
    image
    DS born 7/5/2001
    Married DH 2010
    TTC since 2010
    8 IUI and 2 IVF cycles
    BFP - TWINS! - Lost twin A at 17w5d 
    Still pregnant with Twin B!!!! Due 10/16/2014
    Hospital bed rest 5/10-7/20
    William born at 27 weeks and 3 days

  • No words. Just :::::hugs::::::
    I'm so sorry.
    Me: 37, DH: 35 :: TCC since 2/11 SA: Perfect! CD3  HSG = Blocked Right Tube
    April- Femara 2.5mg + Trigger + IUI = BFN   May- Femara 5mg = CX - No Response on Left = BFN
    June- Femara 7.5mg + Trigger + IUI = BFN  August- Lap & Hysteroscopy = Blocked & Partially Blocked Tubes
    September- Femara 5mg = CX - No Response on Left = BFN  October- 100mg Clomid + Trigger + TI = BFN
    IVF # 1: Stims 11/30 ER 12/12/12! (10R, 10M, 8F, 2T, 6 F) :: Beta #1- 176  c/p @ 4w4d
    FET #1 February 26th :: Lost 4 to Thaw, Transferred 2 = BFFN
    IVF # 2 Stims 5/10 ER 5/21 (15R, 13M, 13F, 2T, 7F- 6d3 & 1d5) :: Beta # 1- 15 c/p @ 4w
    FET #2 Cancelled, Right Tube Developed a Hydro  8/28 Hydro & Scar Tissue Removed  Cleared for FET
    FET #2.2 Scheduled for September 20th
    2 Thawed, 2 Transferred! Beta #1- 96, Beta #2 906! :: EDD June 10th
    2015- 2 failed FET. We are done
    SURPRISE! BFP 8/8/16   EDD 4/1/17

     
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  • I know how you are feeling. I'm either one day or 9 days away from the same ending with no child. I have no advice but wanted to say I am thinking of you. We did not fail. Our bodies just failed us. But there has to be another path for us that we just don't know about yet. Just hang in there and take it one day at a time. 

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

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    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

  • imageJD2007:
    I am so sorry about your heartache. I know how lost you must feel. Praying that you somehow, someday find your miracle. My thoughts are with you.nbsp;



    This. And a big fat GODDaMMIT.
    | Married since 2008 | DH and I: Both 30 | Me: Endometriosis and Carrier of an X-Linked Dominant Genetic Disorder | DH: Low Morph | Planning IVF with PGD and PGS in 2013 | Freeze-All IVF #1: March 2013 ER 3/26. 29R, 12M, 11F. 4 5AA frozen blasts. Freeze-All IVF#2: May 2013 ER 5/15. 31R, 21M, 20F. 6 5AA frozen blasts. Our PGD probe was completed in late June (total of 20 weeks to develop). PGD and PGS Results came on 6/19: 3 healthy embryos (normal chromosomes and unaffected by my family's genetic disorder). FET #1: July 2013 Natural Cycle - Cancelled due to insufficient lining (only got to 7.5mm). FET #1.2: August 2013 - Medicated Cycle with Lupron & Estrogen Patches to build up lining. Single embryo transfer was 8/23. Beta #1: 240! Beta #2: 578! U/S on 9/19 at 6w4d: We saw the heart beating at 131bpm. Second U/S on 10/4 at 8w5d: We saw the heart beating at 178bpm. EDD 5/11/2014
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    PAIF/SAIF/Everyone Welcome! 


  • I am so so sorry! :( wshing you all the best!
             

            

    *****Siggy/Ticker Warning*****

     Me (34)- no issues found MH (36)- MFI due to Vericocele. Straight to IVF w/ICSI 9/12, Antagonist. 9R, 7M, 5F = BFN c/p,  New RE for IVF #2- 1/13., Long Lupron. ER on 1/22 -10R, 9M, 9F. Transfer on hold due to overstimming. FET in Feb. 2 frozen blasts. Another BFN & another c/p. RPL testing all negative besides MTHFR gene, vericocle repair surgery 4/12/13-Bilateral Grade 3 Vericocele found & fixed, IVF #3 with PGS  4/13- 11R, 9M, 9F. Transferred 2 normal=BFN, 3 normal on ice. CCRM-here we come! ODWU-All test results normal. EPP in August. 21R, 20M, 19F. 12 blasts biopsied & frozen for CCS testing. Results showed 11 normal! FET Oct. 30. 2 5d 4AA blasts transferred. First ever BFP!!! Beta 1=216, Beta 2=870 1st U/S=It's TWINS!!! It's a BOY and a GIRL!! Everyone Welcome!!! 
                                       Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic

                         Pregnancy Ticker
  • This is devastating... I'm so sorry for you and your DH. 
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  • ::sigh:: no words.  so sorry <3
    TTC#1
    Dx PCOS @ 16y.o
    9/2011: unplanned natural conception and MC @ 6weeks Cycle 1: 12/2012: TI & 2000MG Metformin & 100MG Clomid = CP
    Functional Cyst - fixed with 2wks BCP
    Cycle 2: 1/31/13: IUI #1
    Meds:2000MG Metformin, 100MG Clomid, HSG/Trigger, Provera 400mg 2DPIUI
    Stats: SA 20mil & 63% mot/follicles (as per 1/30 u/s): 22, 13, 14
    BFP! Beta #1 13DPiui: 79! Beta #2 15DPiui: 164! Beta#3 19DPIUI: 773! First US scheduled 3/5! EDD Oct 23!
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    S/PAIF Welcome - You girls give me HOPE!
    Herbal Supplements: 1800mg NAC, Fish Oil, Vitamin D, Baby Asprin, Folguard, Multivitamin
  • I'm so sorry. I hope you can find some peace. Don't make any major life decisions yet, take some time to grieve and heal and see where life takes you next. *hugs*
    **Warning: Losses and living child mentioned**
    BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
    BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
    BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
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    January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice
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  • I know there is nothing I can say to make this better -but I am so so sorry.  Life is so unfair. 

     

     TTC #1 since 6/09
    Dx: PCOS and MFI
    3 IUIs, 4 IVFs = BFFN
      3rd RE: IVF #5/FET = BFP
    14dp5dt=1170 16dp5dt=2573

    1st u/s=
    TWINS!
    It's a Boy and a Girl!

    Born at 34w3d! 
     

  • I'm so sorry about this. I was hoping for good news after your post yesterday. This isn't fair.
    image
    TTC #1 since Jan 2012
    IVF March/April 2013
  • Just checking it to see how you're doing this morning?  

    I don't think that a few hours sleep (or a sleep-less night) would fix anything, but last night's post was really low and I went to bed worried about you.  

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  • I know I am still very new to this board, but also wanted to say how sorry I am that you have received this news.   Sending many healing T&Ps your way.   
    TTC #1 since 9/2008- 1 year of working with OB using Clomid(unmonitored) resulted in 1 BFP and M/C at 5w6d. Switched and new OB sent me straight to RE. Diagnosed as significant PCOS as well as balanced translocation (me, 10:12) IVF w/ICSI and PGD #1 March 2010, transferred 2 blasts- BFFN, IVF wICSI and PGD #2 June/July 2010 tested and froze on Day 5- only 1 to transfer, FET- BFFN, IVF w/ICSI PGD 3.1- no balanced embies to transfer :-( emotional/physical break- switched to IUI did 6, got a BFP on #2, confirmed c/p IVF #3 w/ICSI, chose to skip PGD- ER was in October 2011- ended up with Massive internal bleeding from both ovaries, admitted to ICU for transfusions (blood and platelets)- freeze all on day 3. I made a full recovery- did FET of 4, day 3 embies (no PGD) BFP! 1 beautiful HB- last live U/S at 9w 4d, at NT discovered no HB, fetus likely stopped growing around 11 w, D&E at 12w, pathology confirmed that the fetus had imbalanced translocation. 6 cycles of trying on own with Ov Induction- 1 BFP and confirmed c/p Oct 2012 IVF #4 Feb 2013? all welcome!
  • I am so sorry.  ((Hugs))
    ~Cheryl and Frank~ 06/28/08
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    TTC since Sept 2009, 2 uterine septum surgeries (Jan and March 2011), 1 chemical pregnancy (4/11), 1 ectopic pregnancy (8/11), and missed m/c at 11w5d (3/12)
    Failed IVF #1 (July 2012)
    FET #1 October/November 2012 BFP, m/c at 5 3/7
    February - operative hysteroscopy
    Late April/May FET #2

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  • I am so sorry you are going through this.  My thoughts and prayers are with you, so that you may find peace with all of this.
    BFP #1 3/27/07-M/C 8weeks 5/3/07 "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away." 2/4/13 IUI #1+trigger=BFP!!!  DD born Oct. 9, 2013 via c-sectionAnniversary

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  • I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you. I sent you a PM
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  • I'm so sorry.  {HUGS}

    **SIGGY WARNING**

    TTC since Nov 2010 | Me: 29, DH: 31 
    DX - Severe DOR, Stage II Endo
    6 rounds medicated TI, 3 failed IUIs, 2 failed IVFs
    After nearly 4 years of trying, our 1st BFP on IVF #3 (5R, 3M, 3F, 3 day 5 blasts frozen) 
    FET - Beta #1 - 116, Beta #2 - 266!! 1st U/S on 10/6 - HB 121 and measuring perfectly! EDD 5/30/15

    Everyone Welcome
    Baseball, Beagles, Beer and Babies Blog

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    BabyFruit Ticker
  • My heart just cries for you Chuck, I am so so very sorry and nothing I can even say. Sending you many T&P to you and your husband during this difficult time. <3
    Married BF 6/29/2002/
    TTC Since Aug 2011/
    ME:34 all clear/DH:41 DX Severe MFI/
    IVF w/ICSI OCT 2012 Stims started 10/8/ER 10/19/12/ET 10/24/Beta#1 11/2=BFN (beta was 1.2)

    IVF 2.0-Baseline 11/7/12 beta 0/All Clear
    Stim start 11/7/12//ER 11/19 11M//10F
    ET 2 embies 11/24//Beta#1 28 Beta #2 23 Beta#3 29
    stop meds Beta#4 37/C/P 5W5D EDD:8/12/13/IVF#3 in Jan

    Ivf 3-frozen 3 poor 3day/fet=bfn

    Ivf#4 New dr. New protocol=beta1 197 beta#2 677 beta#3 1557
     u/s 8/13 =TWINS 2 strong hb
    Due Date 4/4/14

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    My Chart//>
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  • Wish there was something - anything - I could say.  I am so sorry for your news & hope that you and your DH take the time you need to find peace.

    My TTC Journey:
    Dx: Hypothalamic amenorrhea / mild PCOS (Pretty much a hormone/ovulatory disorder)
    Progesterone to induce period w/ the goal of Clomid - never got period (September 2011). Referred to RE.
    Femera - never responded to the meds (December 2011)
    Clomid with TI - BFN (February 2012)
    Injectables (Menopur) - hyperstimulated/canceled (March 2012)
    Injectables #2 (Menopur) with TI- BFN (May 2012)
    IVF - OHSS (transfer canceled), but 11 frozen! (June 1012)
    FET - 1 transferred on 8/09/12. Beta#1 (11dp5dt): 350.3; Beta#2: 365; Beta#3: 157. Biochemical pregnancy.
    FET # 2 - 1 transferred on 11/01/12. Beta#1 (11dp5dt): 337; Beta#2: 769. BFP!!! 1st ultrasound 11/28/12 showed heartbeat, but measuring 5 days behind. 2nd ultrasound 12/05/12 - miscarriage.
    FET # 3 - 1 transferred on 1/24/13. Beta#1 (11dp5dt): BFN.
    FET # 4 - 2 transferred on 3/21/13.  Bet #1 (11dp5dt): 660; Beta#2: 1,300.  Miscarried at home @ 6 weeks.

    FET # 5 - 2 transferred on 7/12/13.  Beta #1 (10dp6dt): BFN.
    Attempted an IUI in late August 2013, but didn't respond well.
    IVF #2 with PGS - Stims started 10/28 with retrieval on 11/11.  Of 14 mature eggs, 10 fertilized, 4 made it to Day 5 & 1 made it to Day 6. We did PGS on the Day 5 embryos, and 3 of 4 were normal. Had ET on 11/17. Beta #1 (8dp6dt): 203. Beta #2 (10dp6dt): 618. We since had two ultrasounds & on 12/19, our RE released us to the OB.  On 1/02/14, we had our first ultrasound with the OB where we heard the heartbeat.  We are so thankful for the blessing & crossing every finger & toe for a healthy & successful pregnancy.

    photo JuneBugs_IFbump.jpgimageimage

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  • My heart hurts for you and while I know nothing we can say can make this any better, please know we are here for you. Hugs.
    Anniversary
  • I'm sorry.  I wish I had words to remove this pain.  I pray for a miracle and for peace.

    Me- 32, DH- 32- TTC for 4 Years
    IUIs 1-6 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP- M/C
    FET- Beta#1: 69, #2: 482, #3: 1088, #4: 28,318, Ultrasound- 1 beautiful heartbeat
    It's a boy!

     BabyFruit Ticker

  • Oh sweetie, my heart hurts for you. *HUG*

    There is absolutely nothing I can say to make you feel better. The pain you must feel would be incredible. I am sending you loads of hugs and hope that you can take some time for yourself to heal. You will find joy again, time does heal even though it doesn't feel like it at the moment. We will be here for you when you are ready. 

    ************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
    Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
    Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
    DH: Severe MFI

    12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN 
    8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)

    My ovaries are just for decoration

    12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
    2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts. 
    2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
    3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.

    6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!
     
    9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
    9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
    9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d. :(

    11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
    11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
    Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522  Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373 
    6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!

    Snowflake baby is a girl! 
    Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!   
    My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
     
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