For current and past BFing moms- AWESOME idea! :)

Soleil3 · January 2013

tokenhoser:
Soleil3:
I feel like there needs to be a happy medium of women nursing in public when it's needed and women nursing in public and having photos taken to prove they can. I NIP, with a cover, with a shirt over the top, etc.
I don't have a problem with someone NIP at a ball game or theatre or dinner table or wherever they need to do it, but I feel like some women get this complex about it, like my kid needs to eat now and modesty be damned. Come on now, you don't need to walk around feeding your kid. I don't walk around the mall stuffing my face, I would side-eye another adult for doing so too.
It's not like its a shock, if you are nursing you tend to know what your kids eating schedule is, and sure some days there are growth spurts and those days are not the norm. But for the most part, be it every 2 hours or whatever, you plan.

I don't think putting up posters of women breast feeding is achieving anything but draw negative attention. Seeing one sure doesn't make me think, hey that chick NIP, maybe I should too!
Wow.
Just... wow. Thanks for that wonderful perspective on how feeding my baby while I get something done is just like a fatty stuffing her face at the mall.

Yes, because that's EXACTLY what I said.

megaboosmom · January 2013

Peridot0812:
megaboosmom:
Peridot0812:
megaboosmom:
Peridot0812:

megaboosmom:
tokenhoser:
Nursing moms that are uncomfortable nursing in public generally quit sooner.I've nursed all over the place, with a cover and without. I do what makes sense at the time. No one has ever said a word to me I think I have a confident look about me that translates to "I will mess you up if you think you know how I should take care of my son better than I do." I've nursed while paying for an eye exam. I've nursed at the table of my church's fall supper with a table full of strangers. I've nursed at my inlaws. I've nursed in a movie theatre. The awesome part about nursing for me was NOT planning ahead and knowing I could feed my child any time he got hungry. It's been great we're still nursing!.Women need to do what they are comfortable with, but the judging of women by women, and worse, moms by moms is ridiculous. It's shameful.nbsp;
Yep, I see most of these nursing relationships lasting about 6 weeks. Meanwhile, a nursing tank would have solved their problems.

Do you have statistics on that, or are you just judging because you think you know what will solve another woman's "problem"?  

 

How are you going to keep breastfeeding when you're not willing to do it in public, yet you say breastfeeding doesn't mean you have to stay home? You already said you won't be doing it in a bathroom. You're running out of options here. So yeah, I see formula in your future.

 

You need to re-read the PP's.

1. I never said I was unwilling to breastfeed in public.

2. I never said I wouldn't breastfeed in a bathroom.

3. I never said anything at all about my breastfeeding preferences at all.

 

Your very first response was something like, "If you don't want to wear a cover, then you make sure you're not in public when the baby needs to eat." Yeah, you need the reality check.

Pretty sure you need to learn how to read.  My first response was "If you are uncomfortable nursing in public without a cover, and you don't have the option of a cover, then don't be in public when your child needs to eat." 

Um...how is that not almost exactly the same thing? It's almost verbatim. But you sure showed me! I'll sign up for Reading 101 now.

bananatiff · January 2013

Peridot0812:
megaboosmom:
What are you going to do when you're out at a public event with a 6 month old who refuses to stay under a cover? Or in August when it's 90 degrees and your baby will melt under that cover?
You do what every other mother does, plan accordingly. If you are uncomfortable nursing in public without a cover, you make sure you aren't in public when it's time for your child to nurse. Being unwilling to nurse in public doesn't mean you can't ever leave your house.

HAHAHA ....did you BF your first? Yeah, "hey 3 month old - it's not time for you to eat, be quiet! Let me finish shopping real quick."

ETA: Should've read all the responses before posting. Holy crap. BFing can be the easiest thing in the world, public or not, but if you haven't been there yet - just stay out of this post and run the other way! This makes it seem way more complex than it is! You will figure it out for yourself when the time comes. You may throw everything you thought you would do or not do out the window. Just know everyone has opinions, ESPECIALLY those who don't have kids. (Not referring to members here, just every giant blow up about this every time it's on the news and a nurse in happens...)

ETA2: When I say easy, I mean once you have it down. The beginning is hard,it doesn't work out for everyone. But if you get the hang of it, get out and live life and ignore the naysayers.

nikkiandchris · January 2013

I think it's up to every mom what they are comfortable with. I nursed in public anywhere and anytime, but always with a cover because that's what made me most comfortable. I will say, if you want to have a lot of flexibility after the baby comes, I think it's really important to at least get comfortable NIP at this level. I still nurse my daughter, but not in public just because she doesn't need to anymore.

That said, I don't care what other people do. If you want to whip out both breasts and tandem feed your 5 year olds at a concert, good for you. There is absolutely no judgment here, and I think that's how it should be across the board.

megaboosmom · January 2013

Peridot0812:
megaboosmom:
Peridot0812:
megaboosmom:
Peridot0812:

megaboosmom:
tokenhoser:
Nursing moms that are uncomfortable nursing in public generally quit sooner.I've nursed all over the place, with a cover and without. I do what makes sense at the time. No one has ever said a word to me I think I have a confident look about me that translates to "I will mess you up if you think you know how I should take care of my son better than I do." I've nursed while paying for an eye exam. I've nursed at the table of my church's fall supper with a table full of strangers. I've nursed at my inlaws. I've nursed in a movie theatre. The awesome part about nursing for me was NOT planning ahead and knowing I could feed my child any time he got hungry. It's been great we're still nursing!.Women need to do what they are comfortable with, but the judging of women by women, and worse, moms by moms is ridiculous. It's shameful.nbsp;
Yep, I see most of these nursing relationships lasting about 6 weeks. Meanwhile, a nursing tank would have solved their problems.

Do you have statistics on that, or are you just judging because you think you know what will solve another woman's "problem"?  

 

How are you going to keep breastfeeding when you're not willing to do it in public, yet you say breastfeeding doesn't mean you have to stay home? You already said you won't be doing it in a bathroom. You're running out of options here. So yeah, I see formula in your future.

 

You need to re-read the PP's.

1. I never said I was unwilling to breastfeed in public.

2. I never said I wouldn't breastfeed in a bathroom.

3. I never said anything at all about my breastfeeding preferences at all.

 

Your very first response was something like, "If you don't want to wear a cover, then you make sure you're not in public when the baby needs to eat." Yeah, you need the reality check.

Pretty sure you need to learn how to read.  My first response was "If you are uncomfortable nursing in public without a cover, and you don't have the option of a cover, then don't be in public when your child needs to eat." 

And actually, that's not what you said. Oops, guess you're the one who can't read.

piperjayne · January 2013

Maybe it's just me, but i think someone who is uncomfortable breasfteeding without a cover and tries to do so anyway is also fairly likely to want to quit.
I say if you want to breastfeed, do it however you feel most comfortable. I think pressuring women to let it all hang out is going to dissuade more conservative mothers from even wanting to try. Breast is best even if that breast is covered up. Who cares? Will they eventually get comfortable enough to do so without a cover? Maybe! I hope so! But if not, and they choose to seek out dressing rooms or nursing stationswhich are cropping up a lot more then more power to them. A friend of mine is painfully shy and she nursed past a year successfully.
I feel like I'm rambling, but basically I am saying let ftms make their own discoveries on what works for them without all the negativity. You may be right about them changing their minds when the baby comes, but I don't understand why you'd think telling them they're going to fail is helping the breasfeeding movement in anyway.
NIP if you want, don't if you don't...
..rant over.

m1ssl1ss · January 2013

If you want to BF, BF. If you are shy about it, you'll find a way to be discrete. You can wear BF friendly tops, you can try a cover, you can find a quiet spot, you can simply tri fold a receiving blanket to just cover the boob... Every baby is different and you'll understand LOs requirements soon enough.
Please don't get it in your head that you will fail because you are not so brave, please don't be put off by those holier than thou mothers you will run into.
There is so much friendly support out there whether your kid is constantly hungry or never wants to eat, whether you have a bad latch or a tongue tie or what ever. God forbid you have low supply issues- one of the most touchy subjects where some nasty person will tell you that you just aren't trying hard enough and your body would never fail the baby, that YOU are the problem.
Toughen up. You're going to be a mother. Most of us will be here to help you and hopefully you will do your own research to find fantastic local support. Hell, I'm sure there is support you can Skype with.
Always be confident in your decisions otherwise there will always be someone ready to tear you down and succeed.
If you don't feel comfortable with the information you've been given, ask someone else!

ack2002 · January 2013

There are some posters that need to take a deep breath and calm down. Who cares how you feed your child, as long as they're being fed???? Calm the hell down. Breastfeeding threads are always fun to read because people love to shove their opinions down each others throats.

megaboosmom · January 2013

No one said anyone has to breastfeed. No one said anyone has to do it in public. No one said anyone has to do it with or without a cover. But these ladies who think that they're going to be at home in their comfy glider rockers every 2 hours for a year are seriously deluded. They're in for a sad wakeup call when they realize that the rest of the world is going on without them and they're missing it.

peanutmuse · January 2013

megaboosmom:
No one said anyone has to breastfeed. No one said anyone has to do it in public. No one said anyone has to do it with or without a cover. But these ladies who think that they're going to be at home in their comfy glider rockers every 2 hours for a year are seriously deluded. They're in for a sad wakeup call when they realize that the rest of the world is going on without them and they're missing it.

I think you're having some serious reading comprehension fails. No one said anything like that or even implied that. You have completely missed my point, that's for darn sure. And you have your panties all in a bunch because people disagree with you. Get a grip.

Soleil3 · January 2013

megaboosmom · January 2013

peanut+muse:
megaboosmom:
No one said anyone has to breastfeed. No one said anyone has to do it in public. No one said anyone has to do it with or without a cover. But these ladies who think that they're going to be at home in their comfy glider rockers every 2 hours for a year are seriously deluded. They're in for a sad wakeup call when they realize that the rest of the world is going on without them and they're missing it.
I think you're having some serious reading comprehension fails. No one said anything like that or even implied that. You have completely missed my point, that's for darn sure. And you have your panties all in a bunch because people disagree with you. Get a grip.

My panties are fine, thanks. I certainly don't let myself feel any stress over what a couple of Internet strangers say. And I most definitely couldn't care less where you feed your baby. Just throwing out the fact that if a woman plans on breastfeeding, she needs to be aware that her baby isn't going to plan his meals around her life. And even if she takes a bottle for him, she's going to have to pump anyway, which is a lot more difficult to do in public.

anvloveskme · January 2013

I BF DD for 9 months and am/was an extremely private BFer. To each their own. How do you know these ladies need a "reality check" maybe they are planning on being SAHMs and not being away from baby much in the first 12 months of their lives. I don't feel comfortable nursing without a cover or even some places in public with a cover, it is a personal choice for me. People need to take it down a notch. Telling FTMs that they are more likely to fail because they don't want to whip their tatas out in public is less than encouraging.

megaboosmom · January 2013

anvloveskme:
I BF DD for 9 months and am/was an extremely private BFer.nbsp; To each their own.nbsp; How do you know these ladies need a "reality check" maybe they are planning on being SAHMs and not being away from baby much in the first 12 months of their lives.nbsp; I don't feel comfortable nursing without a cover or even some places in public with a cover, it is a personal choice for me.nbsp; People need to take it down a notch.nbsp; Telling FTMs that they are more likely to fail because they don't want to whip their tatas out in public is less than encouraging.nbsp;

If they don't have realistic expectations, they are more likely to fail. The PP who said "If you don't want to wear a cover, just make sure you're at home every time baby needs to eat" does not have realistic expectations. Life doesn't go in 2 hour increments. There are times that you have to make the choice to miss that wedding or graduation, or be willing to show an inch of skin that no one is paying attention to anyway.

Soleil3 · January 2013

megaboosmom:
peanut+muse:
megaboosmom:
No one said anyone has to breastfeed. No one said anyone has to do it in public. No one said anyone has to do it with or without a cover. But these ladies who think that they're going to be at home in their comfy glider rockers every 2 hours for a year are seriously deluded. They're in for a sad wakeup call when they realize that the rest of the world is going on without them and they're missing it.
I think you're having some serious reading comprehension fails. No one said anything like that or even implied that. You have completely missed my point, that's for darn sure. And you have your panties all in a bunch because people disagree with you. Get a grip.
My panties are fine, thanks. I certainly don't let myself feel any stress over what a couple of Internet strangers say. And I most definitely couldn't care less where you feed your baby. Just throwing out the fact that if a woman plans on breastfeeding, she needs to be aware that her baby isn't going to plan his meals around her life. And even if she takes a bottle for him, she's going to have to pump anyway, which is a lot more difficult to do in public.

While I appreciate your fervor on the topic, I've breastfeeding 2 babes, one extended, and for the first few months, I planned my life around those baby meals. If the baby was with me, I made sure to know where I was going to be at x time, and where I could BF in peace, be it noticing a out of the way bench or making sure to give myself time to make it out to the car to BF before the babe started crying. It isn't that difficult, and in the years I've done it, I've never once come across a situation where I've needed to walk around nursing or flaunt that I'm feeding my kid.

I don't feel your POV that a woman must lose her sense of modesty if she wants to BF is correct. It just takes a little more planning.

mandi195 · January 2013

This whole thread makes me sad. I thought everyone was here to support each other, yet I read so many comments just being negative towards one another. It seems like everyone (at least originally) was sharing an opinion, and somehow that lead to "let's bash each other for having different views."

This isn't something worth arguing about. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, whether it be to breastfeed, bottle feed pumped breast milk, or use formula. I don't see why anyone feels the need to attack someone else or make negative comments. I get that there are strong opinions on this matter, but holy cow!

LnR70707 · January 2013

megaboosmom:
peanut+muse:

megaboosmom:
No one said anyone has to breastfeed. No one said anyone has to do it in public. No one said anyone has to do it with or without a cover. But these ladies who think that they're going to be at home in their comfy glider rockers every 2 hours for a year are seriously deluded. They're in for a sad wakeup call when they realize that the rest of the world is going on without them and they're missing it.

I think you're having some serious reading comprehension fails. No one said anything like that or even implied that. You have completely missed my point, that's for darn sure. And you have your panties all in a bunch because people disagree with you. Get a grip.

My panties are fine, thanks. I certainly don't let myself feel any stress over what a couple of Internet strangers say. And I most definitely couldn't care less where you feed your baby. Just throwing out the fact that if a woman plans on breastfeeding, she needs to be aware that her baby isn't going to plan his meals around her life. And even if she takes a bottle for him, she's going to have to pump anyway, which is a lot more difficult to do in public.

No sh!t, but you act like you shouldn't have to plan around feeding at all, just whip it out anytime! I pumped every 3 hours until 6 months, when I was able to space out sessions a little. Never once did I pump in public and I can count on one hand the number of times I pumped in the car (excluding 14hr vacation drives). My days still get planned around DS's nap schedule...it is part of being a parent.

peanutmuse · January 2013

I sincerely thank the ladies who offered constructive feedback rather than angrily bashing people with different viewpoints. I found some of the posts here helpful. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone in my the way that I feel. Which is why I brought it up in the first place. So again, thank you to the thoughtful responders.

kateisgreat · January 2013

WOW there is alot of drama on this thread! IME, NIP was a non-issue. I never used a cover, DD never went hungry, she was breastfed for over 12 months, I never felt like I was restricted to staying at home all day or not going places I wanted to go, and I never had to whip a boob out in front of strangers. Some ladies are really good at BF and you would never know they were doing it, but DD and I were not, so nursing without a cover would have been a little too much attention for me.

Not to buy into the drama, but yes, you can be pretty certain when your LO will eat. DD would eat, play, sleep. I knew if I left right after she woke up and ate, she would stay up for 1.5 hours, then sleep for 45 min before she needed to eat again, growth spurts excluded (and who wants to leave the house with a grumpy growth-spurting kid?? I never did, we would both be miserable- they don't last that long) After 6 month, I found it easier to give DD food if we were out instead of BF, but that was just my experience.

As for the OP, I don't see how pictures are going to help anything, or how they would reach the appropriate audience to make any impact. Some people get their panties in a wad about NIP (for or against) and it's probably always going to be that way. The law is in the nursing mother's favor, that's enough for me.

CharmedBAcMF · January 2013

Peanut- Thanks for the conversation. Quite interesting and helped my day go by faster.

L&R, Awesome lawyer chick with red shoes whom I can't remember her s/n at the moment and Kateisgreat- Thank you for actual real life experiences and such surrounding BF and being out in public. It really brought some comfort to the discussion knowing that we aren't doomed to fail.

tokenhoser · January 2013

The purpose of a collage is to work towards normalizing breastfeeding by showing images to people. The more people see moms breastfeeding, the less of an issue it becomes. There are parts of the world where no one looks twice, comments, or even thinks anything remarkable at all is going on if a mother feeds her child. That's how it should be, imo. A mom should feel free to breastfeed anywhere she feels comfortable bringing her baby. She should do it however she feels most comfortable, but no one else has the right to make her uncomfortable with their comments, stares, or other inappropriate behaviour. Feeding a baby is just feeding a baby, no matter how you choose to do it.

My son was just not that predictable or routined. I wasn't going to drop out of life because he didn't have a predictable eating pattern.

anvloveskme · January 2013

CharmedBAcMF:

Peanut- Thanks for the conversation. Quite interesting and helped my day go by faster.

L&R, Awesome lawyer chick with red shoes whom I can't remember her s/n at the moment and Kateisgreat- Thank you for actual real life experiences and such surrounding BF and being out in public. It really brought some comfort to the discussion knowing that we aren't doomed to fail.

Awww, shucks, now I want to change my screen name to AwesomeLawyerChick!

bdawn8403 · January 2013

Bottlefeeding takes care of all of these 'what if' scenarios.

tokenhoser · January 2013

bdawn8403:
Bottlefeeding takes care of all of these 'what if' scenarios.

Bottlefeeding requires pumping. It also requires a baby that takes a bottle; mine quit at 4 months. It's really not an ideal solution when I'm with my baby.

Ktbug613 · January 2013

tokenhoser:
bdawn8403:
Bottlefeeding takes care of all of these 'what if' scenarios.

Bottlefeeding requires pumping. It also requires a baby that takes a bottle; mine quit at 4 months. It's really not an ideal solution when I'm with my baby.

I might get some flack for this, but I am shocked that some people feel so strongly about just whipping their boobs out in public. Personally if you choose to breast feed you need to plan accordingly even if that means you have to miss an event. I think its highly inappropriate to whip out your boob in public, you might not care if someone else sees your boob, but others might, and others shouldn't have to be subjected to your bare boob just because you don't want to be inconvenienced by feeding your baby elsewhere....

**I did not read every comment**

MammaBear81 · January 2013

Ktbug613:
tokenhoser:
bdawn8403:
.

I might get some flack for this, but I am shocked that some people feel so strongly about just whipping their boobs out in public. Personally if you choose to breast feed you need to plan accordingly even if that means you have to miss an event. I think its highly inappropriate to whip out your boob in public, you might not care if someone else sees your boob, but others might, and others shouldn't have to be subjected to your bare boob just because you don't want to be inconvenienced by feeding your baby elsewhere....

**I did not read every comment**

Wow, I hope you never go to the beach, because there is A LOT more boobs being shown there than when I BF my baby. Sorry if that sounds snarky, but I couldn't find a better way to say it. I also think there is a difference between lifting your shirt and letting your boob just hang out (I don't think anyone advocates for that) and NIP.

peanutmuse · January 2013

CharmedBAcMF:
L&R, Awesome lawyer chick with red shoes whom I can't remember her s/n at the moment and Kateisgreat- Thank you for actual real life experiences and such surrounding BF and being out in public. It really brought some comfort to the discussion knowing that we aren't doomed to fail.

Exactly!

Yes

Soleil3 · January 2013

bdawn8403:
Bottlefeeding takes care of all of these 'what if' scenarios.

It actually doesn't, you'll need to pump or hand express milk every missed feeding, or your supply will diminish.

Soleil3 · January 2013

Ktbug613:
tokenhoser:
bdawn8403:
Bottlefeeding takes care of all of these 'what if' scenarios.

Bottlefeeding requires pumping. It also requires a baby that takes a bottle; mine quit at 4 months. It's really not an ideal solution when I'm with my baby.

I might get some flack for this, but I am shocked that some people feel so strongly about just whipping their boobs out in public. Personally if you choose to breast feed you need to plan accordingly even if that means you have to miss an event. I think its highly inappropriate to whip out your boob in public, you might not care if someone else sees your boob, but others might, and others shouldn't have to be subjected to your bare boob just because you don't want to be inconvenienced by feeding your baby elsewhere....

**I did not read every comment**

99% of women breastfeeding, even the confident ones, don't whip anything out. Even a well- endowed woman NIP will show less boob than your average low cut shirt.

tokenhoser · January 2013

Fortunately, I care more about my child's needs than making adults uncomfortable. Adults need to grow the self control to look away from things they don't want to see.

And yes, I see more boob at the mall than I show when I breastfeed. Comments about "whipping it out" are ill informed and juvenile.

cg0112358 · January 2013

wow, this was entertaining... I hope to be able to successfully BF this time. I tried like hell last time but even the lactation consultants couldn't get DS to latch long enough and often enough to gain weight. I ended up pumping every 2 hours and my supply tanked despite trying every supplement known for helping produce milk (and taking Reglan and Domperidone). By the time I found out about LLLI my supply was so bad that even having DS nurse every 2 hours or less he was having only a few dry diapers a day. At that point I just decided to EP and give him what I could. I only produced about 12 oz a day (only about 1/3 of what he drank) but I gave him what I could.

Soleil3:

I this! definitely one of my favorite Homer moments...

JET29 · January 2013

Ktbug613:
tokenhoser:
bdawn8403:
Bottlefeeding takes care of all of these 'what if' scenarios.

Bottlefeeding requires pumping. It also requires a baby that takes a bottle; mine quit at 4 months. It's really not an ideal solution when I'm with my baby.

I might get some flack for this, but I am shocked that some people feel so strongly about just whipping their boobs out in public. Personally if you choose to breast feed you need to plan accordingly even if that means you have to miss an event. I think its highly inappropriate to whip out your boob in public, you might not care if someone else sees your boob, but others might, and others shouldn't have to be subjected to your bare boob just because you don't want to be inconvenienced by feeding your baby elsewhere....

**I did not read every comment**

I completely disagree with this. One of the benefits of breastfeeding is that it gives you the flexibility to feed your baby any time, without planning ahead.

Also, I think it is highly inappropriate to compare breastfeeding in public to "whipping out your boob in public."

laabeja · January 2013

tokenhoser:
The purpose of a collage is to work towards normalizing breastfeeding by showing images to people. The more people see moms breastfeeding, the less of an issue it becomes.
A mom should feel free to breastfeed anywhere she feels comfortable bringing her baby. She should do it however she feels most comfortable, but no one else has the right to make her uncomfortable with their comments, stares, or other inappropriate behaviour. Feeding a baby is just feeding a baby, no matter how you choose to do it.

Exactly. I nip as needed. I felt pride in helping normalize the idea.

bdawn8403 · January 2013

tokenhoser:
bdawn8403:
Bottlefeeding takes care of all of these 'what if' scenarios.

Bottlefeeding requires pumping. It also requires a baby that takes a bottle; mine quit at 4 months. It's really not an ideal solution when I'm with my baby.

Seriously??? Bottlefeeding as in formula. You don't have to pump a damn thing for that.

MandaPanda518 · January 2013

bdawn8403:
tokenhoser:
bdawn8403:
Bottlefeeding takes care of all of these 'what if' scenarios.

Bottlefeeding requires pumping. It also requires a baby that takes a bottle; mine quit at 4 months. It's really not an ideal solution when I'm with my baby.
Seriously??? Bottlefeeding as in formula. You don't have to pump a damn thing for that.

You definitely didn't need to bump this post up for a comment like that.

daylight11 · January 2013

I successfully breastfed my son until HE weaned himself and I was never comfortable doing so in very public places. It is easy to plan accordingly and in advance and sort out a place to nurse while out, while still maintaining some privacy. Nursing stations, the car, a discreet corner and so on. Or you feed before you go and not stay out too terribly long. Or you come up with creative solutions in a pinch. Or, and this one was a lifesaver for me, you bring along a pumped bottle with you. You can maintain your supply even if you don't pump every single time without fail.

Saying that someone who isn't comfortable nursing in every and all public situation is a recipe for failure is ludicrous and I'm living proof. Everyone will sort out what works best for them and most will be entirely successful.

tokenhoser · January 2013

daylight11:
Everyone will sort out what works best for them and most will be entirely successful.

Actually, statistically, most people will fail if their goal is to make it to a year (which most moms will say is a good goal while still pregnant).

Want a personalized experience?

For current and past BFing moms- AWESOME idea! :)

Re: For current and past BFing moms- AWESOME idea! :)

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