BTDT moms: DH and the hospital

Britt8058 · January 2013

I know this is early, but what are your plans for the hospital and your DH or SO staying?

When we had DD, he stayed with me the whole time. I was fine as soon as they pulled my epidural and didn't need any help at all.

I am torn with what I want him to do with this LO. I want him to stay because I want this LO to get the same this his big sister got I know that sounds silly. I also want him to go home and stay with Amelia at night because I don't want to keep some normalcy in her life and routine. I will probably change my mind a hundred times between now and June!!

notquiteblushing · January 2013

I'll make him go home at some point at feed the cats and try to get him to nap but I doubt he will want to leave for too long. We don't have a kid at home to think about. I'm just assuming he'll have trouble sleeping at the hospital despite the fact that his man always falls asleep on planes even when I ask him to stay awake and talk to me until takeoff.

Alliebooberz · January 2013

We are planning a birth center birth where DS can stay with us during my labor, delivery and recovery.

duffmaker · January 2013

DH stayed with me as much as he could, he had to work while I was in the hospital (literally all day the day after M was born) but otherwise he was there the entire time. I think it was very important for us to bond as a family. I'm sure he will stay the entire time again, M will be with family. This actually reminds me of something I wanted to ask on here...

Audrey_03 · January 2013

Seems silly to stay. What is there to do? Besides, you'll be home before you know it anyway.

That first 24 hours or so is not going to make any difference to a newborn, but it *will* make a difference to an older child who will notice the absence of both parents and might be freaked out by it.

flerlgirl · January 2013

Could your DD stay with Grandma or anything? That might be the best of both worlds.

Dumbledore · January 2013

I was actually thinking about this today too!

I have to talk to DH about it, but I think what I'd like to do is have him stay the first night with us, then if we stay a second night have him go home with DS and have them both come pick us up the next day to go home. I figure I will decide if we want to check out early after this one is born, but right now I am leaning towards it if they'll let me.

DS will LOVE having a sleepover with my parents, so I am not worried about him too much.

starrjelly · January 2013

DH stayed the entire time with #2 until maybe an hour after he was born. Then he went to pick up DD and bring her over. By then, DS had had all his tests and checks and was ready for visitors. We agreed that DH needed to be home with DD so her world wasn't completely upside down, and she was only 23 mos old. Then they came back the next day and spent the day with us, more or less, until I could checkout.

Not going to lie, after they left for the they night, it was like a vacation for me. I can't wait!

ohdrama09 · January 2013

Dh stayed with us the whole time with our first. This time we're having a home birth so it's kind of a non-issue unless we need to be transferred to the hospital. In that case, he will probably stay with us and DD will go to stay with my mom. I'm not too worried about the normalcy, etc. She rolls with the punches well so to speak.

ilovemarfa · January 2013

My husband will go home to take care of our son. I want to keep him on his routine to keep everything as stress free as possible for him. I'm a stay at home mom and he has never been away from me for longer than a few hours so I want my husband to be there for him so he doesn't get upset.

When I had our son my husband spent the first night in the hospital with me as we paid for a private suite that had a bed for the fathers. It was really pointless since I was nursing and he really couldn't do anythig anyways.

caffrin · January 2013

I was sooo glad DH was there after labor. I had a 36 hour labor so after he was finally here [at 2am] I completely conked out and slept. DH went with DS to get his first bath and over to the NICU with him [he needed a little extra help] and I am so glad because he got it all on video and call me weird but I didn't want DS alone at all in the hospital. By the time all that was done it was like 5 am and I was just waking up and meeting DS. So DH fell asleep on the pull out couch. He would have been too tired to drive home.
And even though I BF, he helped me get DS latched properly and then diapered him and reswaddled him all through the night. It was a huge relief to me since it being my first we had no clue what we were doing!
I plan on him staying with this LO as well just for moral support!

homebird · January 2013

I'm not sure. He'll probably go home to be with DD, unless I really feel like I need him there. Last time I was in a lot of pain, needed help going to the bathroom, getting in/out of bed, etc. So if I feel like that again I don't know that I want to be by myself.

Britt8058 · January 2013

flerlgirl:
Could your DD stay with Grandma or anything? That might be the best of both worlds.nbsp;

Both of our parents live close so this is always an option. I have never been away from her for more than a night, so that makes things a little harder!

Britt8058 · January 2013

starrjelly:
Not going to lie, after they left for the they night, it was like a vacation for me. I can't wait!

I keep thinking about this. I remember the horrible hot flashes I had the first night and how bad I wanted to blast the AC but felt bad because DH would have froze on that little pull out bed!

starrjelly · January 2013

Britt8058:
starrjelly:
Not going to lie, after they left for the they night, it was like a vacation for me. I can't wait!
I keep thinking about this. I remember the horrible hot flashes I had the first night and how bad I wanted to blast the AC but felt bad because DH would have froze on that little pull out bed!

yes! I always take a heavy bathrobe with me and dang! if DH didn't wear that to sleep in with #1. He wore the entire time with DD.

btsrc5 · January 2013

It depends on what time I have this baby, but I am thinking about having DH stay the first night but go home with DD the second night. I still need to figure out who is going to watch DD the first night

I am really dreading that whole situation. I wish I could keep her with me

MeganF722 · January 2013

DH did not stay the whole time when I had DD. I told him to go home to sleep comfortably because the little pull out couch was not at all. I also told him to go to work during that time so he could save his time off for when I needed him at home. It was my quiet time to spend with DD. This time I am not sure if DD will be staying with grandparents or if I will just send DH home to spend time with her. He will bring her to the hospital every day to visit.

LiLi23 · January 2013

DH was with me the whole time except to run home one day to grab warmer clothes for DD. It got unseasonably chilly for August and I didn't come prepared.

This time I'll make him go home with DD to keep a little normalcy for her. I'm sure she'll stay with my ILs while I'm actually having the baby. But afterwards there's no need for him to stay with me. I'm sure he'll fight me on it but I'd much rather him stay with DD at night.

handsonthewheel · January 2013

Husbands aren't allowed to stay overnight once you're out of your delivery room at the hospital where I'm delivering. Last time, my husband was with my for the entire 43 hour labor (obviously). My daughter was born at 11pm and they let me stay in the delivery room until 7am so my husband wouldn't have to leave. He went home around 9 or 10am to shower and rest and came back just before I was released around 2pm. I chose to be released early because I didn't want to stay overnight without my husband on a ward with a bunch of other women and their babies. This time around, I am considering staying one night while my husband goes home to our daughter. I feel confident being on my own with the baby and it will be nice to have the bonding time.

bumpuser8448316 · January 2013

We dropped our dog off at my parents on our way in for my induction so that DH could stay with me. We ended up there 3 nights and I'm glad he was with me. This time around he won't stay because he'll need to take care of DS.

Kmommytobeof2 · January 2013

I went into pre term labor last time and was in the hospital for a week before delivering. Really hoping that doesn't happen again. Also, DS was in the NICU for 3 weeks so we left the hospital empty handed.. Awful.

Hoping for a totally different experience this time. DS1 will stay overnight with grandparents and assuming its only a night or 2 we will have them bring him in on the last day we are at the hospital and then our new family of 4 will go home together.

FordFalcor · January 2013

flerlgirl:
Could your DD stay with Grandma or anything? That might be the best of both worlds.nbsp;

This is what we're doing. Lucy will think it's just a regular sleepover with the grandparents. I want the extra bonding with the new guy too. I'll have plenty of time to wrangle two at once later.

ASmallWonder · January 2013

He stayed with me the first time. We didn't know WTF we were doing and we lived about 20 minutes away so we felt it made sense to 100% learn about being parents together. This time we know what's up :-p It's more important to me that our older son not equate the new baby with both his parents being MIA for 3 days (I'll have a csection). We also now live about 3 minutes from the hospital so it'll be easy enough to DH to come if I need him.