Any other FTM's getting sick of people that have children talking to you like you're an idiot? Is anyone else even having this issue? I am all for advice, I wouldn't come on here if I wasn't, but really only of it's constructive advice. For example, my dad asked me if we were planning on putting the baby down on the changing table and walking away. My response was, umm no because I'm not an idiot. His assumption was that because I've never had a baby before, I wouldn't know that I shouldn't do that. I may not have a child yet but I do have a brain! My favorite is the, "do you even know how to change a diaper" comment. Yes, I do actually and if I didn't I would learn just like every first time parent had to learn. Do these people forget that they too were a first time parent at some point? And I'm sorry, I don't care how many nieces and nephews you have, if you've never been pregnant or had a child, please don't try to tell me how it is because you don't know either! Ugh!
Re: FTM vent
Not a FTM, but I remember being so fed up with it, especially from my SIL, who had no kids but spent a few years as a live-in mother's helper. (I about died when she tried to insist a VBAC was a cesarean with a v-shaped incision). MIL wasn't much better, criticizing every choice I made and laughing at half of them. When I started sleep training, she told me I was wasting my time (though she claimed that was because "her kids never slept and I just have to suck it up, because DD is DH's child")
My dad was also irritating, making comments about discipline when I was in the midst of dealing with my stubborn toddler. I wanted to scream at him sometimes. He spent all day working, my mom raised us while he did tours and such for the Navy. He dealt with a stubborn toddler at bedtime only, not all day. His tough-love approach might work great short-term, but I wanted long-term results that didn't have my child afraid of me (she refused to go near him and he thought this was a good thing).
Thank goodness my mom rocked and would just offer sympathy and an extra set of hands on my rough days, no criticism and only advice when I asked.
Amen sister! lol.
I was at the grocery store the other day, and the couple next to me who are FTP had their little bundle of joy all wrapped up. And my cashier (not theirs) yells over me to them that their daughter isn't covered up enough for the weather outside. She was covered just fine, leave them alone.
That's hilarious! I am sure you handled your response to that in a much more diplomatic way than I would have... :-)
For the most part, I haven't had too many people offer me ridiculous advice. I actually have the opposite problem - everybody says that hubby and i will be great parents and our kid will be really smart (we're both very nerdy), but I'm totally freaked and need as much advice as I can get!
I agree that we've definitely heard more of the "we think you're an idiot" comments from older adults. We also get the comments about how tough it is to be a parent too. And the ones about how "terrible" it is. Again, we're not dumb and we know that it's not going to be a breeze.
My response to those comments has now been "If you dislike being a parent so much, then why did you have kids?" That seems to shut them up real quick.
Exactly! I fully appreciate advice just not criticism. Telling me all the things you hate about being a parent is not advice!
And we are starting a 529 plan as well. My husband is a financial advisor so he is all for it. What's wrong with preparing for your child's future education? I wouldn't say that's spoiling a child at all.
Yay for traditional Irish names! It's not that bad... just annoying when I have to spell it 2 or 3 times over the phone. Saoirse is easy to say and people will very quickly get used to it after she's born.
Thanks! My husband is Irish and his whole family lives in Ireland so it's important that she have a Gaelic name. My American family thinks we are making a terrible decision because it sounds foreign to THEM. Argh!!!