Found out nanny smokes
I'm posting here because this is always such a supportive board with no flaming/snarkiness. I found out my nanny was smoking while at our house taking care of little one.
We got a nanny despite the expense because little one was IUGR and early and I was concerned about putting him in daycare and exposing him to illness that could potentially be very harmful to him. Plus, he has GERD and a milk protein allergy and has not even been able to take breast milk so has really low immunity. I thought I was doing what was best for him. We went through alot to find this lady, did interviews, checked references, checked background, etc. She seemed so perfect. She was even a CNA (certified nurses assistant) and CMA (certified medical assistant). And she said and did all the right things. I thought she cared about little one. Then I find out not only that she smokes (lied about this in interview), but has been smoking at our house during the day. Obviously, I'm firing her. I don't know if she did it around little one or left him unattended to go outside and smoke, but either way I feel devastated that we trusted this person to take care of him and instead she put him in harm's way by exposing him to at a minimum 3rd hand smoke and possibly 2nd hand smoke. And I wonder what else she lied about and what else she has done to put him in harm's way.
On top of that, I feel like I question how I am going to trust anyone again? I just feel so deceived and feel so guilty.
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
Re: Found out nanny smokes
I came home early one day last week and "thought" she smelled like cig smoke. I I felt in my heart of hearts that she had been smoking, but my DH didn't seem convinced and sort of talked me out of what I thought to be true. He thought maybe I was smelling something else. She said she didn't smoke. We put up cameras. Then I came home again early this past Thursday (last day she was with LO as I have off Friday) and smelled it STRONG. The whole bottom story of the house REAKED of smoke. So strong it made me nauseated and I had to take little one upstairs and burn candles and turn on the A/C to get the smell out. At that point, I felt nearly certain. Then, today, I found the wrapper to a cigarette pack in our trash in the kitchen. NO WAY IT CAME FROM ANYONE ELSE. And why would you throw away the wrapper unless you were opening a new pack and going out to smoke?
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
I found her on care dot com so I can leave a bad rec for her. However, she got rave reviews on there and provided us with multiple recs that checked out. Now I almost wonder if any of this was real. We also did multiple background checks - not that that would show she smoked. Seriously thinking about looking to go through an agency next time even though it will be alot more money.
Also, even more horribly, she cares for a child on Fridays (my day off) who has cystic fibrosis!!! I thought about contacting this family, but I don't even know their names or how to contact them.
Part of the reason we hired her was because she was a CMA and CNA and experience working in a NICU and working in a baby nursery! I would have thought of all people she would have understood how bad it was to smoke around a child.
In hindsight, I am mad at myself, too, because I feel like there is something I should have done differently. I've been feeling for about 2-3 weeks that something was off, but I convinced myself that it was in my head and I was just being paranoid because it wasn't really much more than a feeling. It is so weird, but everytime I feel like something isn't quite right, I am almost always right. In my pregnancy, I was told not to worry even though I was measuring a month behind in fundal height. I literally had to be reduced to tears to get an ultrasound...sure enough, little one had IUGR. I guess the lesson I can take from all of this is that when I have that feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is off, I have to trust that gut instinct.
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I nixed a candidate because she had smoker's breath. Talking to my coworkers who have nannies, it seems like there is always some sort of drama with them.
Smoking is a deal breaker for me too - she would be gone so quickly.
That's terrible! We just let our nanny go and we were lucky to get another one very fast (the new one is SO much better than our last one). The last nanny -- as it turns out -- it a massive POT HEAD! We stumbled onto her Twitter account a few months ago, and all she "tweets" about is how much pot she smokes!! I cringe at the fact that she was watching my 4 and 2 year old boys
I can only hope she got high at night, and not before she came over to watch my kids!