I should stay away from BMB's

ravenclaw1 · January 2013

There's a lot of stupid running rampant on my September BMB. People telling each other that you're safe to tell the world after you've seen a heartbeat, because that means you're safe. People saying as long as you get through 12 weeks, you're fine.

I want to run through there and be a snarky b1tch, but I'll come do that over here instead.

Ktbug613 · January 2013

August is pretty bad too! i was sort of shocked that so many women think therisk of miscarriage drops to nothing once a heartbeat is seen....

JordanL1221 · January 2013

I agree. Although I got my grim notice at my first ultrasound last pregnancy, my cousin just came back from a terrible 3rd u/s at 10w5d.

LSzwaya · January 2013

I feel like my real life is a BMB. Everyone who knows is assuming I will have a huge party when if we see a HB tomorrow. I've lost 2 babies after seeing a HB. Not as safe as you think people.

waterfall11 · January 2013

Hadn't gone over there today and I guess I should stay away...unless you think I should tell my story loss at almost 15 weeks after a great ultrasound and hearing heartbeat on doppler a couple times. Not telling until I can't avoid it this time except a few close friends.

hopeforamiracle2013 · January 2013

ravenclaw1:
There's a lot of stupid running rampant on my September BMB. People telling each other that you're safe to tell the world after you've seen a heartbeat, because that means you're safe. People saying as long as you get through 12 weeks, you're fine.

I want to run through there and be a snarky b1tch, but I'll come do that over here instead.

That's why I am afraid to intro over there. My due date would be Sept 27

lrichmond86 · January 2013

This makes me want to shake people and scream "wake up!" Sometimes I want to tell people about my nearly perfect pregnancy that ended with a loss at 31 weeks. And then I remind myself that these women deserve the naive happiness that I used to have. I think I'm just jealous that I have a pit in my stomach all the time knowing that this baby could be gone just as easily. It sucks.

LWilson82 · January 2013

I'm right there with you. I won't be posting on the August board either. There's a lot of mean spirited posters on that board at the moment and it rubs me the wrong way.

nbcarlson · January 2013

I am hoping our board is so crazy right now because everyone is excited and wanting to talk about it. But hopefully a lot of people will trickle out.

Also there is a lady at my work telling everyone she is pg and she is only 6 weeks. I was like oh my, insert mobile shocked face here.

emeraudecephiro · January 2013

While risk does go down, nothing is ever certain. My first loss at 12w5d. My BMB is good most times, but for awhile it made me wanna scream.

Big hugs!

GraceInCA · January 2013

Sometimes I'm jealous of the naive joy that people have about being pregnant. I think I was close to 18 weeks before I announced to work and anyone who wasn't a close family member or close friend, and I really didn't even want to do it then but it was getting difficult to hide. I had one friend get upset with me because she's 4 weeks behind me, and she announced a full month before I did. When I finally did break the news to her and she realized I was further along than she was, she flipped out.

lindsayanne14 · January 2013

I try to remind myself that ignorance is bliss, but sometimes it's so hard! I HATE when women tell others that brown blood is no big deal. I want to yell, "in my first PG brown blood was the first sign of a missed MC." It makes me sad to know that I will never have a worry free pregnancy.

Michelle3081 · January 2013

LSzwaya:
I feel like my real life is a BMB. Everyone who knows is assuming I will have a huge party when if we see a HB tomorrow. I've lost 2 babies after seeing a HB. Not as safe as you think people.

Michelle3081 · January 2013

LSzwaya:
I feel like my real life is a BMB. Everyone who knows is assuming I will have a huge party when if we see a HB tomorrow. I've lost 2 babies after seeing a HB. Not as safe as you think people.

SciChick · January 2013

LWilson82:
I'm right there with you. I won't be posting on the August board either. There's a lot of mean spirited posters on that board at the moment and it rubs me the wrong way.

I agree! August started out alright but once it got in full force it was just mean. I don't even go over there anymore. My doc said she's not going to let me go 40 weeks so the baby will be born in July, God willing, and I've thought of checking that board out but it sounds from some other people here it might not be better.

dtowngirl · January 2013

lindsayanne79:
I try to remind myself that ignorance is bliss, but sometimes it's so hard! I HATE when women tell others that brown blood is no big deal. I want to yell, "in my first PG brown blood was the first sign of a missed MC." It makes me sad to know that I will never have a worry free pregnancy.

I get annoyed at the same thing. And I get extremely annoyed when people say you're OK unless you're bleeding. I had no bleeding with my first pregnancy and had bleeding with this one.

katharine25 · January 2013

It's a tough line to tow. Most of the posts on my BMB make me stabby, but at the same time it's not fair to always interject my own PgAL fears. I wish I could be that calm and confident, But I'm not. The truth is though for most women, a heartbeat will mean a take home baby, and brown spotting or being symptomless is really nothing. And for the ones that it will mean bad news, then it's not really fair to rob them of this joyful time. Tomorrow will be hard enough.

My general line is to correct them to a point, but remind them it's also outside of their control, and to enjoy today. I wouldnt wish PgAL nerves on anyone.

Gregermis · January 2013

I never bothered with mine

CaliforniaDream87 · January 2013

Ktbug613:
August is pretty bad too! i was sort of shocked that so many women think therisk of miscarriage drops to nothing once a heartbeat is seen....

This!

I feel like "negative Nancy" half the time. Just because you have seen the HB doesn't mean you will have your baby. Sorry.

Oh to be naiive again...

JellyTwoPointO · January 2013

katharine25:
It's a tough line to tow. Most of the posts on my BMB make me stabby, but at the same time it's not fair to always interject my own PgAL fears. I wish I could be that calm and confident, But I'm not. The truth is though for most women, a heartbeat will mean a take home baby, and brown spotting or being symptomless is really nothing. And for the ones that it will mean bad news, then it's not really fair to rob them of this joyful time. Tomorrow will be hard enough.

My general line is to correct them to a point, but remind them it's also outside of their control, and to enjoy today. I wouldnt wish PgAL nerves on anyone.

I agree with this. I think it's a good perspective.

LAMCH1980 · January 2013

I agree Raven! On one hand I am sad that I can't have this type of ignorance is bliss feeling. On the other hand I feel badly for these women because I see all of those happy intros and I just know that a certain percentage of them are going to end in loss.

Edit: I want to add that I just read that someone tell another woman to drink a lot of herbal tea while she is pregnant.

nbcarlson · January 2013

mystererae:
nbcarlson:
I am hoping our board is so crazy right now because everyone is excited and wanting to talk about it. But hopefully a lot of people will trickle out.

Also there is a lady at my work telling everyone she is pg and she is only 6 weeks. I was like oh my, insert mobile shocked face here.
I announced at work at 7-8 weeks because the MS/HG became so unbearable, I needed everyone to understand my absences. Only one person, my boss, knew about my previous miscarriage -- and by the way, he sexually harasses me and had encouraged me after the miscarriage to go on birth control. So to everybody I pretended I was so excited and naive and carefree, but I wasn't. 
Just a thought. 

Yeah, I totally get that some people do it for a reason sometimes but that is not the case here she is just telling everyone who talks to her even customers. I am sure like a lot of people she is just excited. I would just never do that!

AmyM72 · January 2013

Yeah, August is pretty rough too, I've tried not to interject much over there but these people just don't get it. In a way I'm glad they might never have to experience that heartbreak, but mostly it just makes me feel growly.

ejb23 · January 2013

lindsayanne79:
I try to remind myself that ignorance is bliss, but sometimes it's so hard! I HATE when women tell others that brown blood is no big deal. I want to yell, "in my first PG brown blood was the first sign of a missed MC." It makes me sad to know that I will never have a worry free pregnancy.

I saw this one too and thought the Same thing. My only sign of a missed MC was ultra light brown spotting that was almost untraceable except for the fact I was scanning every wipe very carefully. I know others have had success stories with spotting but that is not my experience and I don't think people should say no big deal because it could be!

csspencer · January 2013

I intro there yesterday, but I doubt I'll be spending much time there. Ugh...

D&S724 · January 2013

GraceInCA:
Sometimes I'm jealous of the naive joy that people have about being pregnant. I think I was close to 18 weeks before I announced to work and anyone who wasn't a close family member or close friend, and I really didn't even want to do it then but it was getting difficult to hide.

This!

SwittyMcGee · January 2013

katharine25:
It's a tough line to tow. Most of the posts on my BMB make me stabby, but at the same time it's not fair to always interject my own PgAL fears. I wish I could be that calm and confident, But I'm not. The truth is though for most women, a heartbeat will mean a take home baby, and brown spotting or being symptomless is really nothing. And for the ones that it will mean bad news, then it's not really fair to rob them of this joyful time. Tomorrow will be hard enough. My general line is to correct them to a point, but remind them it's also outside of their control, and to enjoy today. I wouldnt wish PgAL nerves on anyone.

I agree with all of this, and I also wish more of "us" would post over there. I almost feel like it's my duty to try to combat some of the of the ridiculousness. I'm not a very active poster in general (I'm shy, even online, ha!) but I really want to be there to support PgAL-ers, as well as the people who do end up suffering a loss.

luciddreamer106 · January 2013

I agree with you and I've been tempted to interject, but I don't think it's really fair to do that all the time.

Ktbug613 · January 2013

lindsayanne79:
I try to remind myself that ignorance is bliss, but sometimes it's so hard! I HATE when women tell others that brown blood is no big deal. I want to yell, "in my first PG brown blood was the first sign of a missed MC." It makes me sad to know that I will never have a worry free pregnancy.

Maybe you should shut some of them up. I'm pretty sure Katharine had called them out a time or two

Ktbug613 · January 2013

SwittyMcGee:
katharine25:
It's a tough line to tow. Most of the posts on my BMB make me stabby, but at the same time it's not fair to always interject my own PgAL fears. I wish I could be that calm and confident, But I'm not. The truth is though for most women, a heartbeat will mean a take home baby, and brown spotting or being symptomless is really nothing. And for the ones that it will mean bad news, then it's not really fair to rob them of this joyful time. Tomorrow will be hard enough.

My general line is to correct them to a point, but remind them it's also outside of their control, and to enjoy today. I wouldnt wish PgAL nerves on anyone.
I agree with all of this, and I also wish more of "us" would post over there. I almost feel like it's my duty to try to combat some of the of the ridiculousness. I'm not a very active poster in general (I'm shy, even online, ha!) but I really want to be there to support PgAL-ers, as well as the people who do end up suffering a loss.  

I struggle with this too. I really want to shut some of them up sometimes but I'm not sure its appropriate or fair to incorrect pgal fear

lindsayanne14 · January 2013

ejb23:
lindsayanne79:
I try to remind myself that ignorance is bliss, but sometimes it's so hard! I HATE when women tell others that brown blood is no big deal. I want to yell, "in my first PG brown blood was the first sign of a missed MC." It makes me sad to know that I will never have a worry free pregnancy.

I saw this one too and thought the Same thing. My only sign of a missed MC was ultra light brown spotting that was almost untraceable except for the fact I was scanning every wipe very carefully. I know others have had success stories with spotting but that is not my experience and I don't think people should say no big deal because it could be!

The brown blood is such a mindfluck for me! I had a week of it this PG and had and u/s and heard the HB after it stopped, so at this point, in this PG the brown blood seems to be nothing. As I said before, in my 1st PG it was the first sign of something terrible. I guess I just wish that instead of dismissing women's fears, more people would just kindly tell them to call their DR if they are worried. I'll admit, when I was spotting brown for a week a few weeks ago I shared my fears on PGAL and called my Dr in a panic a few times, but I didn't post about it in my BMB, I just didn't think most of them could relate!

katharine25 · January 2013

Ktbug613:
lindsayanne79:
I try to remind myself that ignorance is bliss, but sometimes it's so hard! I HATE when women tell others that brown blood is no big deal. I want to yell, "in my first PG brown blood was the first sign of a missed MC." It makes me sad to know that I will never have a worry free pregnancy.

Maybe you should shut some of them up. I'm pretty sure Katharine had called them out a time or two

I do my best to validate the posters fears when everyone else is trying to minimize them, without encouraging the OP to go overboard off the crazy boat. Like I said, it's tough line to tow, because they also have a point when they are saying that, though it's often not articulated the best way. A lot of times brown spotting really doesn't mean miscarriage.You just never know.

Our board it was really the "symptomless" posts that seemed to get a rise out of everyone. But there I was sitting with no symptoms, carrying tons of PgAL fears and feeling comforted by the numerous posts of other women going though it too.

My advise, take what you need from the BMB for now and ignore the rest. Everyone says the BMB's get better into 2nd tri... I hope so.

Jenibug05 · January 2013

I completely agree there! I'm also due in September and there's too much to keep up with that board and I've been rolling my eyes pretty much constantly since I introduced myself there. Not sure I'll go back much.... PgAL is my safe place.

FeetFirst · January 2013

wow, glad to know i am not alone in my thoughts about the Aug BMB...i wanted to fit in over there, but think you all "fit" me more

I need people who get that i am going to be freaked out well into 2nd Tri and who understand that I am not celebrating over seeing a HB twice now and hearing it on the doppler...because we all know that can mean nothing in a few weeks....

Missuskeekers · January 2013

August is a weird mix of moronic p&r and rampant bitchiness.

lindsayanne14 · January 2013

katharine25:
Ktbug613:
lindsayanne79:
I try to remind myself that ignorance is bliss, but sometimes it's so hard! I HATE when women tell others that brown blood is no big deal. I want to yell, "in my first PG brown blood was the first sign of a missed MC." It makes me sad to know that I will never have a worry free pregnancy.

Maybe you should shut some of them up. I'm pretty sure Katharine had called them out a time or two

I do my best to validate the posters fears when everyone else is trying to minimize them, without encouraging the OP to go overboard off the crazy boat. Like I said, it's tough line to tow, because they also have a point when they are saying that, though it's often not articulated the best way. A lot of times brown spotting really doesn't mean miscarriage.You just never know.

Our board it was really the "symptomless" posts that seemed to get a rise out of everyone. But there I was sitting with no symptoms, carrying tons of PgAL fears and feeling comforted by the numerous posts of other women going though it too.

My advise, take what you need from the BMB for now and ignore the rest. Everyone says the BMB's get better into 2nd tri... I hope so.

I agree with you on this Katharine, I'm glad to have the opportunity to chat with ladies due around when I am, and I understand that many of them will experience PG differently than I do because of my losses. Like you though, I hope things get a bit better in the 2nd tri!

KikiCohen · January 2013

ncchnat:
July was pretty bad, too, at the beginning, but there were also like 50 something women who were PgAL (obviously, not all of them here) and we were pretty outspoken. Now everyone is easing into second trimester and there are a couple of us who just have to roll our eyes because we were that 2 percent and we know 13 weeks isn't a magic number that makes you safe.

This! Hopefully the crazy on your BMB will calm down a bit.

hungryhippo · January 2013

I haven't been over there I'm the past week or so, but this is the second time I've read about their antics over here. There was a reason I stopped going there and now I feel super validated. I hope it gets better as time goes on.

GraceInCA · January 2013

Most of them will simmer down once the numerous "I'm out" and "Goodbye" posts start appearing there, mark my word. I have seen it happen on 2 different bump boards. The naivet? doesn't last forever.

magdalina.h · January 2013

That's what the stats say. We just fell on the wrong side of the stats.

TKtravels · January 2013

dtowngirl:
lindsayanne79:
I try to remind myself that ignorance is bliss, but sometimes it's so hard! I HATE when women tell others that brown blood is no big deal. I want to yell, "in my first PG brown blood was the first sign of a missed MC." It makes me sad to know that I will never have a worry free pregnancy.
I get annoyed at the same thing. And I get extremely annoyed when people say you're OK unless you're bleeding. I had no bleeding with my first pregnancy and had bleeding with this one.

This completely! I did not start bleeding until almost a full month *after* I learned via U/S that I had a blighted ovum. And even then, it took a large dose of misoprostol to bring it on.

I miss my ignorance, and while I wouldn't wish a mc on anyone, some of the people on the September board (the same one Raven originally mentioned) need to STFU.

Also, I do think some snark should be brought to our BMB, so Sept ladies, if you are feeling it, please bring it on. If I see one more person post about being "prego," complaining about us not having a FB group, or telling the world before the pee on their stick is dry, I'm going to have a hard time holding back. Please don't let me be the only snarky beyotch on the Sept board.

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