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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Nala37
member
Wedding with an 18 month old?
Nala37
member
I am in a good friend's wedding in a few months, and I've started wondering if we should take DS or not. He'll be 18 months then, and I'm worried about how active or vocal he will be during the ceremony. I'm thinking about only bringing him to the reception, but then DH can't come to the ceremony because it's an out of state wedding and we wouldn't have anyone else to watch him. My parents live 3 hours away, so we considered just leaving DS with them for two nights while we're doing wedding stuff, but he hasn't spent a lot of time with them and it has the potential to be a disaster.
Has anyone taken an 18 month old to a wedding successfully? Any tips or ideas? I was considering taking him to church again (we've been a little lax lately) so he gets used to sitting through an hour long mass, but I'm worried because the ceremony will be at least an hour and a half. I don't want to be that person with a disruptive child during the wedding.
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Re: Wedding with an 18 month old?
What do you mean by disaster if you leave with your parents for a weekend?
That'd be what I'd do provided it wasn't anything serious. He'll have fun bonding, you can enjoy your weekend kid free etc.
I'm probably a horrible parent
but I leave DD home if I have the chance and we're headed somewhere her noise/being a toddler would be disruptive or she has to sit for a long time. We're all happer that way in the end.
I would never bring an 18 month old to a wedding. Sounds horrible to me. Also, are kids even invited to the wedding? I had no kids at my wedding. Why would it be a disaster to have him spend the weekend with his grandparents?
DD spends tons of time with her grandparents and DH and I get nights, weekends and even vacations alone.
first of all is LO even invited? I have been to weddings where kids were invited and weddings where they aren't. If LO isn't invited, then do not bring him.
If he is invited and you decide to bring him, I would just have DH sit with him towards the back of the church and have him be willing to take him out to the back if needed.
LO has been 4 weddings, one at 12 months, two at 18 months and one at 26 months. All 3 times we had a sat in the back and brought things for LO to do. WE also brought snacks for him to eat. He was fine and stayed pretty quiet
I also brought his umbrella stroller which helped keep him contained during the cocktail hour as we wondered around during the reception.
For a few of the weddings we had to leave somewhat early since LO got tired, for the other two, he fell asleep and actually slept in his stroller.
I will say, if you are IN The wedding party that is a whole different ballgame. There are so many things that you are going to be involved with, pictures, head table stuff, dance things, pre and post wedding extravaganzas that it is going to put most if not ALL of the responsibilities of your child on your husband. Is he okay with that? If I were in a wedding, I would be getting a babysitter for my kid because I wouldn't want to put all that responsibility on my DH.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
I didn't mean that he should get a day off. I meant that keeping track of a toddler in during a wedding is a lot of work and it is easier if you can tag team it. I am not saying that he can't do it.
The times we have taken LO to a wedding he has taken BOTH of our attention.
I have no issues with my husband taking care of his kid. He does it well. I'm just saying chasing a kid around a wedding by yourself is exhausting and it may not be fair to ask, while you are out and about partying with the wedding party.
Its just a thought.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
I agree with all of this.
Our family blog
DS will be attending a wedding at 17 months and 2 at 20 months. We did ensure he was invited to them first, but he'll definitely be there. For the ceremony, we'll sit near the back and bring activities to keep him occupied and leave if necessary.
We'll plan on leaving the reception pretty early or have a family member ready to babysit. All of the weddings are family weddings (which may be why I feel so strongly he needs to be there since he's part of the family) so I won't have my parents are actual babysitters, but may have them to go back to the room early at one of the weddings or something.
Sorry for the confusion
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
DS is invited to the wedding, and while I realize it makes the most sense to just have DH take him outside if he becomes disruptive, the wedding is in a large church and the guests will be sitting in the front half of the church, so there will be a walk to get outside and I just picture DS kicking and screaming the whole way.
As far as it being a disaster if he's at my parents, it has nothing to do with them, it's just the environment. They have two dogs that DS is terrified of, the house is also very cluttered and wouldn't be babyproofed. My dad is out of town a lot, and my nephew visits every weekend, so it is likely that my mom would have an active 18 month old and a hyperactive 6 year old to watch, plus two insane dogs. It just seems like a recipe for a disaster to me. Don't get me wrong, I would love for DS to get to spend more time with his grandparents, but I honestly think they'd need me or DH there to help out.
Do you have a neighbor or friend that can watch him for the night?
I have a couple friends that we take turn watching each others children when we have big events like that so we dont' have to pay a babysitter.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
1. I've taken DS to couple weddings. The most recent was a family wedding when he was 13 months old. It's doable- I just took him outside when he got antsy. Hired a couple kids from the youth group to sit with him ( and his two cousins) in our hotel room after I put him to bed.
2. That being said, I'd have left him with my parents for the night/weekend. If I can have a good time with my husband, I'm doing it. You can't enjoy the open bar with a toddler.
I would imagine the ring bearer and flower girl were invited. Most, if not all weddings I've been to have had kids there.
Last I checked ring bears and flower girls are not requirements to hold a wedding. I have never been to a casual, daytime wedding where kids were included. They're never invited to formal evening weddings amongst my family and friends.
Either:
1. Have H sit in the back of the church with him if you're so concerned about him kicking and screaming. Or in the family viewing silent room thingy that a lot of churches have now. I don't think people will be all that disrupted if he starts making noise; it happens all the time. If it's a kid friendly wedding, chances are your kid wont be the only one making a little noise. And the logical thing to do if you're so worried about it is to have him close to an exit.
2. Don't bring him. If you trust your parents with him, he'll be fine. Have them come care for him in your home if that's an option; he'll be more likely to relax in his own surroundings.
I took DD to my best friend's wedding at 17m. H sat in the back of the church with her and my other friend's husband, in charge of their 4 month old. There were a ton of kids there; no one noticed anything. He took her out into the foyer when she got fidgety. She napped in the car between the ceremony and reception while we were taking pictures, then we tag teamed in chasing her around at the reception. It was totally fine.