Hey guys. i was wondering if you could help me understand what my boyfriend is going through and give me some advice?
We're both 22 and have been together 8 months. The night he told me he loved me he also told me he knew he did because he would have children with me. When we started becoming more sexually active we discussed the dangers of unprotected sex while my body was adjusting to the birth control pill- the answer was the same "what happens happens and we'll figure it out cuz i love you and would have kids with you." After four months i got pregnant while on the pill and he was excited. Whenever we met doubt coming from family or peers he was always confident that we could do this as a family.
We live together now and i am 22 weeks pregnant. He has become more and more disinterested in the pregnancy- never bringing it up, hardly interacting with my growing bump- and more and more distant. Recently he told me he has been thinking about adoption (something i stopped thinking about after we decided we were going to do this) and when i brought up the baby on his birthday he got angry and told me i 'should know better' than to want to talk about it. He says he won't leave me no matter what but he doesn't think we're ready to parent, he knows he's not ready to be a father, and he's worried a child won't fit into his music producer's lifestyle and he doubt we can give the baby 'the best life'.
I'm scared. i'm clingy and depressed,my feelings are hurt, i'm hostile and it's really ruining our relationship. i don't know what to do. i know it's "normal" for some men to freak out but i'm not sure if this is a phase or if he's going to leave. i don't want to force him to be a father. i don't want to choose between the love of my life and the child he gave me.
what should i do?