The BEST Ridiculousness You've EVER Heard!

NYCGal276 · January 2013

So a girlfriend of mine is currently trying to get pregnant and as of now, she has no signs that she is going to have a struggle. She cried hysterically to me when she didn't get pregnant the first month. I bit my tongue as I held back reminding her I've had 2 miscarriages, have been trying since 2011, and have a medicine cabinet that no longer has ANY room.

ANYWAY - she is now on CD1 of her SECOND MONTH and she says to me the other day "We should concentrate on something else this month! Let's volunteer at a soup kitchen!"

I want to know THE most RIDICULOUS advice you've ever gotten from a non-IFer! GO! :-D

liz4paws · January 2013

OMG REALLY? Argh, thats frustrating! People really don't get it!

I confided in a acquaintence/friend that I was getting somewhat close to who asked me when I was going to have children. Everyone's favorite question, right?

I explained that sadly, I had been diagnosed with "premature menopause" last year and we weren't getting pregnant even after almost two years and failed IVF/IUI. Her response? "I have a friend who has been trying to get pregnant for a few months too. I can ask her for some pointers for you if you want?

WTF?

Amyou06 · January 2013

Thats obnoxious..and I get it, but I remember having a huge let down my first month it didnt happen..lol and now here we are 15 months later..

So maybe she said something without thinking..try not to let it get to you, and if she doesnt seem to get the hint that maybe she needs to take a look back and realize it could be a lot worse, and it's still really early...then you might want to say something. ALot of our friends dont know we're struggling or trying for that matter. When asked about when were having kids, We just answer vaguely like "oh we don't know...blah blah blah" But The people that do know don't always know what to say, I love the "just relax, and it'll happen" Line. Riiigghhhtt....

Maybe your friend is trying to relate to you in someway with her remarks, but I've always felt that intentions are always trumped by perception.. SO if you perceive it negatively, then who cares the intent! So just say something if it goes on. Good luck lady!

twistsandturnsto2 · January 2013

"You don't need IVF, just eat Kelp!"

NYCGal276 · January 2013

Amyou06:
Thats obnoxious..and I get it, but I remember having a huge let down my first month it didnt happen..lol and now here we are 15 months later..
So maybe she said something without thinking..try not to let it get to you, and if she doesnt seem to get the hint that maybe she needs to take a look back and realize it could be a lot worse, and it's still really early...then you might want to say something. ALot of our friends dont know we're struggling or trying for that matter. When asked about when were having kids, We just answer vaguely like "oh we don't know...blah blah blah" But The people that do know don't always know what to say, I love the "just relax, and it'll happen" Line. Riiigghhhtt....
Maybe your friend is trying to relate to you in someway with her remarks, but I've always felt that intentions are always trumped by perception.. SO if you perceive it negatively, then who cares the intent! So just say something if it goes on. Good luck lady!

I have no doubt that she wasn't giving me her version of support - she's a good and long time friend. But if I don't laugh at these people with their ridiculous advice... I may get violent!!! :-P

J&D2007 · January 2013

This wasn't advice really, but it is ridiculousness, so I thought it may qualify: My crazy, self absorbed beotch of a SIL (with 3 kids) says at a family party in front of everyone to me : " I can't believe that you haven't had any kids. I think that is so selfish. Anyone who chooses not to have kids is all about themselves"..

um.ok.

ashepard120509 · January 2013

We are just starting IUI, but my Grandma told me I should just go to Blue Mound and drink the water, because two of my cousins live their and their wives were both pregnant... REALLY I mean IF it was that easy... I'd bottle it, and make millions! Good Luck!!

liz4paws · January 2013

J&D2007:

This wasn't advice really, but it is ridiculousness, so I thought it may qualify: My crazy, self absorbed beotch of a SIL (with 3 kids) says at a family party in front of everyone to me : " I can't believe that you haven't had any kids. I think that is so selfish. Anyone who chooses not to have kids is all about themselves"..

um.ok.

Invite me next time so I can throat punch her for you. Angry

asilwhite · January 2013

twistsandturnsto2:
"You don't need IVF, just eat Kelp!"

Bahahaha WTH???

asilwhite · January 2013

JD2007:
This wasn't advice really, but it is ridiculousness, so I thought it may qualify: My crazy, self absorbed beotch of a SIL with 3 kids says at a family party in front of everyone to me : " I can't believe that you haven't had any kids. I think that is so selfish. Anyone who chooses not to have kids is all about themselves"..um.ok. nbsp;

Wow, just WOW! Ugh SILs suck.

NYCGal276 · January 2013

J&D the bad news is that was said to you, the good news is we must be related bc my SIL is a BIOTCH with 3 kids, too!!!!!!!!!!

kflynn81 · January 2013

I've probably heard it all....drinking, eating, positions, etc. but the funniest thing was just this past Christmas. Although it wasn't directed at us I still laughed. DH's biological grandparents got divorced 30+ years ago and each remarried. So Grandpa and his wife were over at my IL's for Christmas and they were talking about her grandchildren. She says how the one daughter spent the night and wound up pregnant, then the other daughter spent the night and wound up pregnant. Then it became a joke in their family, when some other family member spent the night and got pregnant, that all a woman had to do was stay overnight at their house and they'd get pregnant. Well....I laughed and said "So when can we come over??" LOL

J&D2007 · January 2013

liz4paws:
J&D2007:

This wasn't advice really, but it is ridiculousness, so I thought it may qualify: My crazy, self absorbed beotch of a SIL (with 3 kids) says at a family party in front of everyone to me : " I can't believe that you haven't had any kids. I think that is so selfish. Anyone who chooses not to have kids is all about themselves"..

um.ok.

Invite me next time so I can throat punch her for you.

Thanks and I may take you up on that! I wish I was one of those people that come up with something witty right away,instead of just smiling like an idiot and giving a stupid nervous giggle... Grrr.. If I had it to do all over again...

dede0726 · January 2013

When my SIL found out we were trying she told us she was diagnosed with PCOS but got pregnant right away anywaybecause she started eating healthy, working out and quit smoking also that her cousin quit smoking weed and got pregnant right away too even with a PCOS diagnosis"

DH and I are VERY healthy people - I quit smoking long before TTC and haven't smoked weed since I was 20. But thanks for the advice Smile

Balabusta · January 2013

I ran into an old friend last month. She comes waddling over to me and tells me how she got married in August, and pregnant in September with TWINS! She told me that ," the secret to getting pregnant fast is to THINK its going to take a year." Oh, thank you SO MUCH for that information! If only my husbands sperm got the message, maybe I'd be KTFU by now! Uuuggghhh

JSM0801 · January 2013

This is not advice either, but the most ridiculous thing that has been said to me was sadly by my very best friend. When I confided in her that we were diagnosed with MFI and had to do IVF, she told me she thought I was so desperate to have a baby that I CHOSE IVF, because I would do whatever I had to get a baby as fast as I possibly could, and that we just didn't try long enough. Ummm....WTF? Ya, I want to get injected with needles on a daily basis, have my blood taken and wands shoved up my crotch, feel so bloated my insides are going to burst, be put under for surgery, etc.. My blood was boiling, my heart was racing, and I am still shocked I didn't get up and storm out, slamming the door in her face. I definitely laid it into her good, but I told myself it was just her complete ignorance on the subject as well as her jealousy issues b/c she is 33 and single, and I am married and ready to start a family. I had to tell myself this, or it probably would have ended our friendship. Ugh...people are so stupid!!!

cupcake201 · January 2013

A friend was recently telling me how her friend did IVF and it didn't work, and then the next cycle she got a surprise BFP "because she wasn't expecting it so she relaxed".

I also had a coworker (who doesn't know what we are going through) tell me I should have kids soon because my eggs have an expiration date. Thanks b!tch!!!

Have fun at the soup kitchen LOL!

jadwedd · January 2013

I LOVE the kelp suggestion. The worst advice I have gotten was after I told one of my friends that we were going for IVF she told me that if I could just relax (now I am a pretty relaxed person who has been trying for like 6 years now) my tubes would unplug themselves. I have apparently stressed myself into tying my own tubes now. I did use the go on a vacation and it will happen advice to get myself on some awesome trips though so that one I do like.

Temp878586125009588 · January 2013

It's not too ridiculous, but I've gotten, "If you just stop trying...", and "Maybe if you don't push trying to get pregnant with IVF, it will happen."and the whole, "Adopt, because then you'll get pregnant."

ETA: Sorry, I forgot that I have someone who found me out on here, and I didn't want them to see that....

dede0726 · January 2013

Daysie:
It's not too ridiculous, but I've gotten, "If you just stop trying...", and "Maybe if you don't push trying to get pregnant with IVF, it will happen."and the whole, "Adopt, because then you'll get pregnant."
ETA: Sorry, I forgot that I have someone who found me out on here, and I didn't want them to see that....

My younger sister gave me all of this advice at different times over the last year and a half!!

scbedi · January 2013

J&D2007:
This wasn't advice really, but it is ridiculousness, so I thought it may qualify: My crazy, self absorbed beotch of a SIL (with 3 kids) says at a family party in front of everyone to me : " I can't believe that you haven't had any kids. I think that is so selfish. Anyone who chooses not to have kids is all about themselves"..
um.ok.

OMG! I'd have a hard time keeping my hands to myself!

tptbabe · January 2013

We were at a friends place (who have been trying for over a year now) and another couple there were telling them that they were stupid to go and get testing done because "fertility treatments don't work". That they went and had testing done (after 5 months of TTC) and there wasn't anything wrong. But they did one round of Clomid that ended in a BFN. The wife "had a mental breakdown" and swore off TTC forever. They got pregnant the next cycle because they "got drunk and had fun sex". According to the husband:

"alcohol is medically proven to help with TTC, beause it helps you to relax, so that the sperm can get to the egg more easily. But fertility doctors don't want you to know that because they would be out of a job".

Yeeeeaaaaaah...

kseav · January 2013

I have a couple friends who would say relax it will happen when it's supposed to. I always wanted to be like your right there is no way the toxins from the chemo that you always mention made MH look soooo different could have any affect on his sperm too, it just focused in those silly cancer cells!! Lol

XTina123084 · January 2013

I have lots of helpful advice from others but the best by far was "take it as a blessing, kids are just another bill".

Dafuq?? I always thought kids were a blessing, not my stage 4 endo, blocked tubes, and pelvic floor dysfunction. Which is costing me way more then she's probably paid for her kid!!!

NYCGal276 · January 2013

LOL You ladies are great!!!!

Yea the next person who tells me to relax will be found in a black bag in The Hudson River. How about I shove a tube into your cervix - lemme know if that's a relaxing position for ya.

BTW - wish this site had the ability to "like" people's comments!

NYCGal276 · January 2013

You're funny re: "discovery" bc when I first joined this it tried to link it with my Knot account which has a SN that is very clearly MINE and I was like "that's a negative!" and made a new account!

It's a shame to say it but there are some people out there that would LOVE to know I'm struggling - so it's under wraps!

dede0726 · January 2013

NYCGal276:
LOL You ladies are great!!!!
Yea the next person who tells me to relax will be found in a black bag in The Hudson River. How about I shove a tube into your cervix - lemme know if that's a relaxing position for ya.
BTW - wish this site had the ability to "like" people's comments!

I agree - I am always wanting to "like" other comments and can't!

LuClo · January 2013

dede0726:
When my SIL found out we were trying she told us she was diagnosed with PCOS but got pregnant right away anywaybecause she started eating healthy, working out and quit smoking also that her cousin quit smoking weed and got pregnant right away too even with a PCOS diagnosis"
DH and I are VERY healthy people - I quit smoking long before TTC and haven't smoked weed since I was 20. But thanks for the advice

Obviously that's the problem- you quit smoking weed way too early. We all know the key to getting pregnant is to 'just relax'. I bet her cousin was relaxed as hell; of course she got pregnant right away. Maybe you should plan a Cheech & Chong-esque vacation adventure. Pot + vacation = relaxed = pregnant regardless of medical barriers.

thebrewers2005 · January 2013

I'm totally saving this post for when I need a good laugh. You all are making my day!!!!!

EnglishTeacher30 · January 2013

The longer we have been trying, the more comments I get. In the past week I've hhad three co-workers ask when my husband and I are going to start a family. Multiple people, including relatives, have told me just to do adopt and then I'll suddenly become pregnant. Others have said that I'm trying TOO hard and that's why I haven't gotten pregnant. I've gotten the old, "just relax and it will happen". What people don't understand is that infertility just doesn't go away because I relaxed or I adopted a child.

Keephope2012 · January 2013

Thank you all for the laughs! Got my next round of IVF meds today which made me feel excited but also sad that I have a lifetime supply of needles and gonal-f next to my milk and juice! And fertile SILs oh man! I laughed out loud at the throat punching comment!

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