My donor backed out

Mrs.McIrish · January 2013

I'm just devastated, speechless and mad as hell. She started stims and f'ing decided to quit!! How do these people not know they are messing with people's lives? My nurse is looking at their list to see if anyone is cycling right now that I want to use. I doubt it. Do I just agree to a random person? I loved this other donor. I think I'm just done. I don't have time to wait as my insurance expires end of March. I was getting used to the idea of CFNBC but didn't see it coming this way and not even getting a second chance.

DoublePortion · January 2013

Oh, no I am so sorry! They should have had her sign a legally binding document stating that she could not back out. She should not have started the process if she had any doubt in her mind! I wish I had advice, but I have no clue what I'd do in your situation. This is just awful!

Julie21613 · January 2013

Oh no.... I don't even know what to say to you. Don't these donors get screened by a psychologist so they know exactly what they are getting themselves into. How does someone do this? Fking with peoples minds this way. I am so so sorry. Hope there is someone on their list that you would like to use. My heart is just broken for you. Sending you huge hugs.

F/U IF.

Mrs.McIrish · January 2013

Julie21613:
Oh no.... I don't even know what to say to you. Don't these donors get screened by a psychologist so they know exactly what they are getting themselves into. How does someone do this? Fking with peoples minds this way. I am so so sorry. Hope there is someone on their list that you would like to use. My heart is just broken for you. Sending you huge hugs.
F/U IF.

She even cycled before so she knows what is involved.

I don't sign a contract with her. I don't know what she signs with the clinic. I just get my money back from my clinic.

PrettyAccountant · January 2013

Oh no!! WTF is she thinking? I don't know what to say! I am so sorry. I am so angry and hurt for you at the same time. I would love to ask her what makes her think she can mess with people like this!
I am so sorry.

Julie21613 · January 2013

Mrs.McIrish:
Julie21613:
Oh no.... I don't even know what to say to you. Don't these donors get screened by a psychologist so they know exactly what they are getting themselves into. How does someone do this? Fking with peoples minds this way. I am so so sorry. Hope there is someone on their list that you would like to use. My heart is just broken for you. Sending you huge hugs.
F/U IF.
She even cycled before so she knows what is involved.
I don't sign a contract with her. I don't know what she signs with the clinic. I just get my money back from my clinic.

Did she give the clinic any reason why she just up and decided to back out? I am so angry right now I can't even think straight. What a total mind f*ck. This is just so unfair.

Mrs.McIrish · January 2013

No reason was given to me other than she decided not to go through with it. My mom and DH suggested that something happened to make her quit but I said I just prefer to be mad at her for this and not that she had a good reason for it.

winofairy · January 2013

I am so sorry! ((((HUGS))))

Julie21613 · January 2013

I'm with you.... and my guess is there wasn't a reason or they would have said "donor Mary had something come up in her personal life that prevents her from continuing with the cycle" I too would just want to be pissed at her for messing with our emotions this way. Ugh

DoublePortion · January 2013

Mrs.McIrish:
No reason was given to me other than she decided not to go through with it. My mom and DH suggested that something happened to make her quit but I said I just prefer to be mad at her for this and not that she had a good reason for it.

I would be mad at her too. Even if she has a really good reason it doesn't change the situation for you. It's not like you can call her up and yell at her, so be as mad as you want to be! If she were a known donor then it would be different, but right now you need to do and feel whatever you need to in order to deal with this. Again, I'm just so sorry.

Gregermis · January 2013

That sucks!! So so unfair Sad

((hugs))

liz4paws · January 2013

Oh my gosh! No! I am so sorry! That makes me so angry and upset for you! So unfair! I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now, like the rug was just pulled out from beneath you. I am sending lots of hugs your way, and I hope you are able to come to a decision you can find peace with. *hug*

Roxie5739 · January 2013

I am speechless, totally speechless. WTF! It would have to be extenuating circumstances so hopefully there is a damned good reason. I am so so sorry. The biggest of biggest HUGS to you at this awful time

Sophistikitty · January 2013

Unbelievable. I am completely speechless. I can?t believe this is happening to you. Huge, huge hugs.

It is so hard for me to offer advice as I know everyone?s attachment to their donor is different. For me, I couldn?t just pick someone else on the spur of the moment like it seems you will be forced to do if you want to be within your insurance deadline. But on the other hand, I really feel you need another chance at this. UGGHHHH!!!!!! This is so, so unfair.

hootie123 · January 2013

NO!!!!!!!! I am so so sorry.

I don't even know what else to say this is so unfair.

Aegis2005 · January 2013

I'm angry for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this. (((hugs)))

Jenny952 · January 2013

I'm so sorry, I don't even know what to say. Big (((((hugs))))))) to you.

luvboston · January 2013

I am so sorry. If I was in your position and losing my insurance I would pick another donor so at least you have a chance. GL

Lacyj67 · January 2013

I'm sorry that is so wrong. Wth....

BzeetyD · January 2013

Oh how terrible. WTF? I'm so sorry this is happening. I'm not even sure what to say. You must be all kinds of angry and upset. I would be beyond livid and it's so hard because you can't address the issue/donor directly with your anger.

I hope, if you do choose to pick a new donor, that you find someone you love.

We're here for you.

stinkerbell6879 · January 2013

:::Lurking from IF:::

This makes me sooooo ANGRY for you! (((HUGS))) and I am so sorry you have to deal with this sh!!t

joules12 · January 2013

Sending more hugs your way, McIrish! I'm still in such shock and anger about this, so I can only begin to imagine how you're feeling. Update us on the possibility of a different donor when you can/when you're up for it. Hoping you and DH have a good, distracting weekend.

AmCheri · January 2013

McIrish, I don't even know what to say. Never in a million years could you or anyone else have foreseen this. It's unthinkable! I'm beyond sorry and frustrated for you. To say this is unfair doesn't even scratch the surface of how f--ed up it is.

Where are your thoughts now? Are you looking for another donor?

zazu13 · January 2013

another lurker...

So, so sorry to hear this. I hope you can still pursue your dream soon. Sorry she did this to you. Take care.

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