"Siblings"? WWYD

LoveActually4 · January 2013

SS started a new school today, I picked him up as he is with us 50:50 custody

His student information form was on the desk when i arrived. BM had filled it out this morning.

Under "siblings", she had only listed SD, not mine and DH's 2 boys. We have a very open and friendly blended family and BM normally is very supportive of fostering this but I was very, very shocked to see this.

Im Afraid of SS seeing this form and it reinforcing the idea that our sons aren't his "real" brothers. We don't ever use the word half to describe siblings in our family.

Would you confront BM? She filled out the form And signed it so Neither DH or I feel comfortable asking the school to change it, should we ask her to?

kali55 · January 2013

I'm judging from your ticker that neither of your boys is in school yet? Is SD? If SD is in school, then she probably didn't include your boys because it might not be relevant for school information. I registered my SDs for school this year and I didn't include DS under siblings because I assumed they just wanted to know who was related to who within the system.

fellesferie · January 2013

I can completely understand why this shocked and hurt you. But I think I would try to let it go or at least not take it personally.

If XH ever had to fill out a form for DS I know he wouldn't list DD as his sister. He's just kind of thoughtless like that.

You could maybe call BM, mention you saw the form and ask if she minds if you call the school to add SS's brothers. If you do this I think you should be completely casual about it.

Otherwise I would just call the school, say you saw the form and there was some information omitted, could they add the children's name to the form.

As you say you have a good relationship I doubt that your boys' names were left off to hurt you and YH.

CFjo2010 · January 2013

kali55:
I'm judging from your ticker that neither of your boys is in school yet?nbsp; Is SD?nbsp; If SD is in school, then she probably didn't include your boys because it might not be relevant for school information.nbsp; I registered my SDs for school this year and I didn't include DS under siblings because I assumed they just wanted to know who was related to who within the system.

This. Also, maybe there's a separate card for Mom and one for Dad?

mom2one · January 2013

I think it's likely she just listed the kids who are school age...especially since you have a good relationship. Or maybe she was just thinking of her own household. I assume the kids at your house are half-siblings? If step I can understand why she would not list, but for half siblings seems like she should.

sabrina69barnes · January 2013

I'd probably just let it go. It could be an oversight or BM might not of though it was relevant depending on why the question was asked. If you have a good relationship with BM I doubt she did it on purpose.

When I filled out school papers for DS1 I didn't include SS and SD on the form because they are in a different school district. I thought it might just confuse the school. Will your children be going to this same school?

Like I said, it could also be an oversight. My SK's have both a younger brother and sister at BM's. There are so many times I completely forget about them being siblings. It not out of spite. It's just that I never seen them. They aren't part of my family so it doesn't always occur to me that they are part of SK's.

If SD just started this school I bet BM had a lot of paperwork to fill out. I know I do at the beginning of every school year for DS. It's possible that she was just trying to get through it quickly and wasn't thinking.

Ginlyn0 · January 2013

On school forms for DD, I only list DS because he is the only child within that school district (which is really the reason the school wants that info). So I don't list DD's sister on her BD's side or my SKs because they don't live in our district not because they aren't siblings. I wouldn't want to raise questions at school as to why we don't have other children enrolled in the district, when I can just avoid that question by omitting that info.

Littlejen22 · January 2013

She might have also thought of it as her card and not from the child's side, she is not responsible for your kids so she might not have felt they should be on it.

LoveActually4 · January 2013

Thanks everyone.

There was only 1 form for both parents, DH's info was listed as well.

I think I'll let it go as everyone suggested. I doubt she would be spiteful. She probably only listed SD because she is the only one of school age.

Thanks for defusing me everyone.

Gwenillian · January 2013

I know in my district they use that as an indicator of who may be attending in the future (budgeting or planning or something). Since EH's kids w/SM live elsewhere I don't add them - not for any personal reasons.

Tasheystar · January 2013

I know I mentioned SD in our registration interview with the secretary, but I don't think we put her on the forms. She's 2ish hours away, and even if we got to have her fulltime, she wouldn't be able to attend the same school as ODS. It's a French school, and SD has been going to English school for 3 years now. It wouldn't be fair to try to put her there, and I will not put the boys in an English school. Not to be a b!tch, but to help preserve my language and culture.