Strange request for bridal shower?

lcorley4 · January 2013

My DH's stepmom's sister's daughter (if you can even follow that) is having a bridal shower and invited me to it. I thought that was slightly strange just because I have never met the girl, however, I'm sure they were just trying to be kind. On the invitation they did not put where they were registered, instead they wrote "please bring a piece of lingerie that describes you for the bride to guess". I thought this was a bachelorette party game not a bridal shower game? I think it will be super awkward bringing lingerie to a party of older women on the in-laws side. Also, how is she supposed to know my personality when she doesn't know me? Needless to say I will most likely send my regrets, but I was just wondering if anyone else thought this was strange or is it just me? (P.S. the family is pretty religious...)

atcwag · January 2013

lcorley4:
My DH's stepmom's sister's daughter (if you can even follow that) is having a bridal shower and invited me to it. I thought that was slightly strange just because I have never met the girl, however, I'm sure they were just trying to be kind. On the invitation they did not put where they were registered, instead they wrote "please bring a piece of lingerie that describes you for the bride to guess". I thought this was a bachelorette party game not a bridal shower game? I think it will be super awkward bringing lingerie to a party of older women on the in-laws side. Also, how is she supposed to know my personality when she doesn't know me? Needless to say I will most likely send my regrets, but I was just wondering if anyone else thought this was strange or is it just me? (P.S. the family is pretty religious...)

Yep, definitely a bit odd - especially given the circumstances you did. Lingerie is usually reserved for the bachelorette party, but if that's what the bride wants, then....

I would send regrets, but even when I do this, I send a small gift. I would maybe send a few pairs of underwear and a lingerie bag.

ggatlanta · January 2013

I didn't read it all responses, so maybe this has been covered... Back in the olden days, a lingerie shower was the done thing for brides having multiple showers. Of course none of it was "naughty" lingerie, but instead beautiful nightgowns and robes and slippers that a married lady needed - these things were just another part of the bride's trousseau.

Now a lingerie shower is less common, and apparently the giving of lingerie has become some sort of novelty event for bachelorette parties.

So my answer is - if this is the first you've heard of lingerie as a bridal shower gift, they may be following an older tradition, or it may be an odd juxtaposition of old and new. Either way I agree it was rude for them to invite you to a shower for a bride you've never met. I'd send a small gift and stay home.

EastCoastBride · January 2013

very strange and I would not go.

lcorley4 · January 2013

Well that's good to know and I could understand it more if it were robes/slippers and such. I think I will go with sending something small to be polite but declining the invite.

1026pumpkin · January 2013

I would think it would be strange too- I would find it awkward to go to a lingerie party for someone I wasn't very close to.

One suggestion for gifts I've heard is to get a small bottle of nice perfume (i.e. Chanel). It's still in the same ball park, but a little classier than lingerie. Or maybe a robe???

Spacebunny19 · January 2013

I guess it depends on the crowd...

A friend of a friend had her bridal shower a "lingerie" shower. My BF was invited so she showed me the invite and we were shopping together for the item. It was awkward for her (well me too but I didn't have to go to the shower) because the bride was a bigger girl and even finding something that would fit her in one of the more traditional stores (Victoria's Secret, Fredericks of Hollywood) was a challenge, esp. because it seemed like the larger stuff tended towards really boring, "cover-you-up" stuff, and that doesn't fit this bride's personality. I never did ask how it went!

For me, I'm remarried after a divorce. So, I have had showers for both weddings. For the first one, my now-ex MIL threw me a not-exactly-wanted surprise shower just a week before my wedding, and invited people that weren't even on the guest list to the wedding (which she knew, woman had a copy of the list and even had input on who to invite, yet she still managed to put us in a horribly awkward position by then having to invite these people to the wedding just days before the big day and have my poor mom try to pretend the invites had been lost in the mail. May I just say I am very glad this woman isn't my MIL anymore?) Anyway, a few of the women at this surprise shower gifted me with very pretty, tasteful lingerie. Sexy but not slutty whatsoever. Some of it wasn't really my size (I'm little with no chest at all, so heck I can't usually find nighties that don't make me look like a twelve year old boy) but it wasn't that bad. It was, however, a bit awkward getting stuff that I'd wear for sexy times from older women I hardly knew--and hadn't even invited to my wedding in the first place. So I would say if it came from younger women who I knew well, I'd have been less uncomfortable with the idea.

Then again, did you ever see the episode of HIMYM where Lily has a bridal shower and Robin switches the tags on the presents when she realizes her sex toy gift would be horribly inappropriate in the company of all of Lily's older female relatives? Priceless. Esp. when the old women then all get on board with the idea and start discussing which Sex in the City character they are most like.

MsAmeera25 · January 2013

I don't think it's strange one of my bridal showers was a lingerie shower where each girl was asked to bring a panty in my size that matched their personality. But the entire thing was lingerie themed. In my group of friends we never do gifts at the Bacheloretta party so most of the showers are lingerie themed.

caladpi02 · January 2013

Lingerie showers are common in California. They are usually showers either during the bachelorette party/weekend or the theme of a shower thrown by just friends due to the awkwardness of parents and IL being there. The game you are describing is one that I have seen played a ton-but again at a friends event where 1. the bride knows all the guests very well; 2. the guests mostly know each other too which makes it fun to guess who brought what.

People generally get all kinds of lingerie, from cute pjs to fun boy short undies to racy stuff.

MamaMcCleary · January 2013

It does seem a little strange. If you are not comfortable I would just decline but honestly dont just decline cause you dont like the gift suggestion. Lingerie doesnt have to be naughty it can something sweet and pretty. I like the hello my name is idea from a pp. It may be your husbands family trying to include you more.

lcorley4 · January 2013

Spacebunny19:
Then again, did you ever see the episode of HIMYM where Lily has a bridal shower and Robin switches the tags on the presents when she realizes her sex toy gift would be horribly inappropriate in the company of all of Lily's older female relatives? Priceless. Esp. when the old women then all get on board with the idea and start discussing which Sex in the City character they are most like.

Love that you mentioned this, I love that show!

rhubarb123 · January 2013

MsAmeera25:
I don't think it's strange one of my bridal showers was a lingerie shower where each girl was asked to bring a panty in my size that matched their personality. But the entire thing was lingerie themed. In my group of friends we never do gifts at the Bacheloretta party so most of the showers are lingerie themed.

Exactly this. I had one of these and I have attended one. I have some fun loving girlfriends. One pair of panties said "Not Tonight Honey - I Have a Headache". I got a lot of use out of those. Also got a pair of crotchless that my DH loved! LOL It was fun guessing who they were from. The crotchless ones came from an "older" friend (I was kind of shocked).

cinderin · January 2013

I would almost go just to see what happens. I have horrible curiosity. But then I would think better of it and stay home! :-)

eav2c · January 2013

Uhh that is weird and I wouldn't participate and world probably even decline.

BeckyOff · January 2013

Go and take a flannel nightie.

lcorley4 · January 2013

rhubarb123:
MsAmeera25:
I don't think it's strange one of my bridal showers was a lingerie shower where each girl was asked to bring a panty in my size that matched their personality. But the entire thing was lingerie themed. In my group of friends we never do gifts at the Bacheloretta party so most of the showers are lingerie themed.

Exactly this. I had one of these and I have attended one. I have some fun loving girlfriends. One pair of panties said "Not Tonight Honey - I Have a Headache". I got a lot of use out of those. Also got a pair of crotchless that my DH loved! LOL It was fun guessing who they were from. The crotchless ones came from an "older" friend (I was kind of shocked).

Yeah, I understand what you are saying--and I think it would be fun if it were all people around the brides age and brides friends. However, it is all 50+ year old women from my husband's side. Not the most comfortable group to be bringing even tasteful lingerie to.

lcorley4 · January 2013

BeckyOff:
Go and take a flannel nightie.

Awesome!

Ladiebug710 · January 2013

That would be very akward.

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