I hate the mornings! — The Bump

I hate the mornings!

This is more of a vent but I'm also open to any ideas or suggestions.

I hate the mornings! They are miserable! I wake with plenty of time to get 4 yo DD ready for school and 19 mo DD ready for daycare. DH helps out before he leaves. I try to do as much as possible the night before (ie: setting clothes out, making lunches, getting coats ready) but it still doesn't go well.

DD #1 is as slow as they come when getting dressed. Even though we already have her outfit picked out and agreed upon the night before she will argue about it come morning. She whines/cries about not liking how her socks feel, that she doesn't want her hair done a certian way, that she doesn't like her new shoes, and anything and everything else inbetween.

DD#2 just walks around the house destroying things while I try to get ready. Somedays she follows me around whinning the entire time.

No matter how organized I think I am it's never organized enough. I try to start of with a good attitude and lots of praise but I usually end up getting mad and getting frustrated with the girls then feel bad about it later. It's getting to the point where I dread mornings. I know my friend says "It's just their age, it gets better....yada yada yada" but it still sucks to start the majority of our days this way.

Anyone have any tips? I know some people use timers and reward systems. Has this worked for anyone? I'm not sure my DD will really care about a sticker when there is a crisis such as socks.

Re: I hate the mornings!

  • Yes, definitely the age. I get up at 6, and need to leave with my 1 year old and 4 year old by 7:10. I get things out the night before also. But there is always a hiccup- my 4 year old needs something to take to school, she is slow because she just woke up, etc etc. I have started setting very clear goals with her the night before. When we wake up, I need you to be a big girl adn help me. I need you to get dressed by yourself, etc. What we decide together the night before, is how it is. We have no time to discuss it in the morning. So, basically, set expectations the night before, and try (as hard as it is) NOT TO CAVE to her demands. i.e. too bad about the socks, etc. It will get better. Our mornings are ALWAYS chaos.
  • I couldn't deal with the morning tantrums/whining so I finally caved and have started to let the girls watch one show (netflix) before school every morning....they cannot go downstairs until they pee/dress/brush teeth, and if they don't get ready in time they don't get to watch a show.  it works well for us 90% of the time...plus I can finish getting myself and our crap ready for the day without much interuption for ~20 min.  (DH leaves for work before we get up...so he's no help)

    not to say they still don't fight me with the hairbrushing and getting shoes & coats on...oh and needing to do  something random before we leave...but at least this way everyone is dressed and presentable enough without much of a fight. GL!

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  • It is the age and it will get better.  Be firm with your kids and consistent.  I can get my kids up from a deep sleep and out the door in 15 mins if needed - as it is, we spread it out to 25-30 as I always build in extra time just in case.

    As part of our bedtime routine, the girls pick out a small snack to eat (they eat breakfast at school) and school clothes - everything down to undies and socks.  If they need anything special for school like a game for "Toy from Home Day", that is picked out and ready by their bags as well.  We discuss lunch with my older DD over the weekend so we know exactly what will be made or if she is buying so we can get that together that night as well.  Everything is done!  Once the girls are in bed, I get all of my stuff ready and out by the door as well.

    In the mornings, DH and I take turns with who gets up first.  (we rotate so 1 of us is not stuck waking up at 5am everyday of the week).  On my early days, I wake up at 5:10 and shower and get myself 100% ready to walk out the door.  If I have time before the kids wake up, I jump online to check emails.  On my late days, I get up at 5:45 and jump in the shower and get 100% ready by 6:30.  The kids get up at 6:15 and since their clothes are out, they just grab them and get ready (we help younger DD but older one does it herself) and then they head into the bathroom to go potty, teeth and hair and then into the kitchen to eat their snacks which are already out for them.  By about 6:35, we head down to the door for coats and are in the car by 6:45 (takes longer in the winter due to coats, boots,etc so in summer, we take a few mins longer to eat).

    2x a week, DH leaves at 6:30 so at that point, I take over everything including getting the dog all set into his crate.  WE feed the dog and let him out before the kids wake up.

    The other 3 days a week, DH drives the girls to school and most of those days, I work from home.  I get the girls ready to the point of getting their shoes and coats on and then DH takes over.

    It really works for us but we did have a period where my younger DD really struggled especially on the days that my DH got her up.  She is a 100% momma's girl!  WE just stayed consistent, I don't jump in and save her from Daddy - I will tell her that if she keeps moving and lets Daddy helps her or does it herself, when I am ready, I will come help her and then I take my time so that I can see her making progress.  My older DD is a morning person and getting ready has never been an issue.  She often wakes before her alarm and is dressed before it goes off.

    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • I hate mornings too!  Same behavior from my two girls. Lately, I have been discussing w/ DD1 at night during our bedtime routine that she can't drag in the morning b/c mommy will be late for work. Work allows me to buy her toys,food,etc...This has been working lately and she'll ask me in the morning if we are on time and she's proud of herself.

    On the other mornings, I warn her when w/ a count down and let her know I'm beginning to turn into mean mommy. She doesn't want me to turn in a mean mommy and begins to move.

    Then the terrible mornings, after several warnings about getting dressed I pick her up, put her in the car w/ the PJ's and let her know she probably can't play outside w/ her friends at school today b/c of her clothing attire. She begs me to put on her clothing. I hate these days.

    DD2-I involve her with getting everyone ready. She's in the helper phase right now and wants to pick out everyone's shoes, socks and hair bows. When all else fails she get a snack trap of food in front of the TV.

    It's not the best parenting but I'm hoping we pass through the phase soon. 

    Mommy of two girls: DD1 4/14/9 DD2 4/15/11
  • I use picture schedules. They are posted all over my house!  The night time routine, the morning routine.  Chores.  Chart of who brushes teeth 1st, 2nd, 3rd each day.  When they need reminders, we run over to see what the schedule says.  

    I agree- we've had difficulties getting out and the 1 show before car rocks.  I know they have to pee, get shoes on and brush teeth at 8:30 if they're going to make it.  So at 8:30 I run over and open the door and ring the doorbell 6-7 times and they scurry and stop what they're doing to make it.  I also lock the gate at the top of the stairs in the morning.  We don't go downstairs until everyone is dressed.  They are up at 630 and we are typically down by 7.  That gives me 1.5 hours to feed them and get the kitchen done and myself ready.   

    If you really want to be happy, no one can stop you.

  • OMG - I have no advice for you other than commiseration, I could have written your post except I have DSs - and I'm so bummed to hear that it's not getting better any time soon (mine is 3 1/2 and 15 months) - ARGH!

    Thank you to other posters as I will print out your advice and see if any of it helps!

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers image
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