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second tri and unrelated irrational anger

lrichmond86lrichmond86 member
in Pregnant after a Loss
To be one third of the way through this pregnancy feels amazing! Of course with my history I won't feel "safe" until Ihave that baby home in my arms, but crossing that imaginary line still is encouraging.

On a side note, a good friend from college posted on facebook this morning that a month ago he had a daughter. I'm furious! He didn't tell any of us that the baby's mother who he is not in a relationship with and we don't know her was pregnant, didn't say the baby was born for more than a month, and then wrote this long post about how most people would be scared but how he knows how to take life's challenges and "make the best of them" I nearly commented saying "make the best of them?! Do you have any idea how lucky you are to have a living baby at all?!" I know because of our situationty my reaction is overly sensitive. But I just hated his great dad spiel when he ddidn't even acknowledge this beautiful gift for over a month!

Ok. Vent over. Thanks.
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Re: second tri and unrelated irrational anger

  • lrichmond86lrichmond86 member
    Sorry for all the spelling/grammar/punctuation errors. Mobile bump. Grr.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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  • KittyKatMomKittyKatMom member
    Congrats on making it to 2nd tri!

    As for your friend, he has the right to share or withhold whatever info he wants on FB, just like the rest of us. Just because he didn't talk about the baby right away doesn't mean he didn't acknowledge it unless there's more to the story you're not telling us. Maybe he was just busy adjusting to being a new dad and didn't have time to bother with FB.
    "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world." - Jack Layton

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  • kdidderskdidders
    I understand what you mean though, it's tough to have to find out big news from a friend on facebook rather than then telling you! But everyone handles milestones and life changes differently, my advice would just be to congratulate him and let it go.

    Congrats on your milestone!
    BFP #1 6/23/12, MMC at 8w2d, D&C 8/19/12 BFP #2 10/17/12, CP 11/1/12 BFP #3 12/26/2012, hoping for baby #1! BabyFruit Ticker
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  • lrichmond86lrichmond86 member
    As I said in my post, I realize that my anger is irrational. It stung and I had to get it off my chest. In hindsight my post was probably more appropriate for another board. Sorry.
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  • alb245alb245 member

    First, congrats on making it to the 2nd tri!

    Second, I can definitely relate to your anger at having to find out something like that on FB.  A friend of mine announced she was pregnant on FB, at 20 weeks. At first I was REALLY annoyed that she didn't call, text, or email me to let me know before making the big FB announcement (we don't live close). But then the more I thought about it, the more I realized that was probably what she was more comfortable with given her situation (she's single and used donor sperm).  That was probably easier for her than having to tell her story or explain herself to every individual person that she told.

    Maybe your friend was worried about what people would think since he's not with the baby's mom?  And then maybe once the baby was here and he was in love, he realized he didn't care what people thought?

    Anyways, congrats again on making it to 2nd tri!

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  • philfemgalphilfemgal member

    Oh I totally get your irrational anger!  (And I think it's totally normal and fine to have those feelings/thoughts.)

    I recently saw a facebook post of someone who seemed to be just entering the 2nd trimester announcing they are having twins.  My immediate thought was "Yeah you *think* you're having twins....that's what I thought too."

    And then recently another post from friends who have a new baby just very lightheartedly referring to how much work it is and how exhausted they are.  My first thought was though I'm sure I'll be in the same exhausted and going out of my mind place if/when we bring this baby home, I really don't want to hear people complain (even in really lighthearted ways) about their healthy, live babies.  Another person commented in response to that post and said something about "yeah can you believe some people have twins?  how do they possibly survive?"  That too was a little like a knife in the stomach.  I wonder sometimes if I will have these sorts of reactions to this stuff forever or if they will fade over time.

    Oh well.  I figure as long as we don't actually say these things we feel it's all good.

    Congrats on being 1/3rd done with the pregnancy!

    BFP #1 9/21/11. EDD 6/4/12.  Twins discovered at 8 weeks. Twin B lost at 14 weeks due to megacystis.  Alice Joe born and lost 1/5/12 at 18.5 weeks due to pre-term labor.

    BFP #2 7/11/12.  EDD 3/23/13.  Ada Alice born 3/20/13.

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