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I need to vent...BADLY!

shaysmom05shaysmom05 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

We have been handling the loss of our baby very well. Friends, family, the hospital, everone has been soo supportive and caring.

Today, I had to sign papers to release the body to the funeral home, so we could have him cremated. I've been on myspace and talking with alot of friends about this. One friend, who has known how long we've tried for a baby, sends me a message. This message said, "Sorry to hear about that, but guess what. I'm preggo." I started screaming. I was saying F you, F this, F that. There is only one person I would be thrilled about finding out she is pregnant. That is my best friend who has been trying for as long as we have. I feel like a bitter b!tch, but I can't help it. I've been putting on the happy face for relatives who are expecting. Especially since they knew before we did. But this chick has lost custody of her kids due to neglect, doesn't have a job, doesn't even have a stable home. It infuriates me. Sometimes, I can't help but question God's logic. Thanks for letting me vent.

"Momma! She's doing it again!!" Photobucket
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Re: I need to vent...BADLY!

  • gallerygirlgallerygirl member

    That person is incredibly insensitive and I cannot even fathom any of my friends telling me like that when they know what we are going through. I don't blame you for losing it. 

    I am so sorry you have this thrown in your face while grieving. I wish I could give you a huge hug!!!

    bfp #1 - 8/17/2008, natural m/c 8/25/2008, EDD 4/21/2009 bfp #2 - 10/6/2008, hb stopped at 7 w 3 d, d&e on 11/7/2008, EDD 6/19/2009 bfp #3- 3/14/2009.... stick, baby, stick!!!! (14 dpo - hcg 188, 16 dpo - hcg 421, 24 dpo - hcg 14,760!, 4/2 healthy HB of 130 bpm, 4/16 HB of 178 bpm!) bfp #4- 2/2/2011, EDD 10/17/2011 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BabyFruit Ticker a bfing, cding, wah momma Congrats to my buddies Tiffanylaw06, Jeny M & burghbaby!
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  • tpetterstpetters
    Wow, sorry but that chick just doesn't have a clue.  I am so sorry you had to go through that.  If it makes you feel any better, I would have had the same exact reaction as you.  Since I lost my son, every time I hear about a new pregnancy I just can't be happy for them.  I just can't.  But people who were already pg at the time and are now having their babies, that doesn't hit me as hard.   And I know what you are saying where it is also easier to be happy for someone when you know they have been having struggles or have had a loss rather than just someone who is not even trying to get pg and can't even care for a child ends up getting pg. (((Hugs)))
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  • jschreibjschreib
    I'm so sorry you're going through this.  I know I also question God's reasoning for doing all of this.  Two of DH's young cousins got pregnant last year...oops!  One not married, no job, had to move in with Mom and Dad and her parents are raising her child.  It's so frustrating! And I think it's horribly insensitive how she popped that on you while going through so much.
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  • luckyangelluckyangel member

    Can't blame you at all!  I would be furious too!  "Sorry to hear that but guess what..." is HARDLY sympathetic to your feelings and honestly, not something a good friend should do.

    On a side note-Your friend sounds exactly like dh's ex wife.  It makes me incredibly sad that someone who lost custody of her kids for neglect and has no job is pregnant.  DH and I have custody of his kids-his x lost custody because of neglect and abuse.  She too has no job, no stable home, and in her case claims to have had 2 m/c in the last few years (we always thought it was all bull-just an attention thing).  Its hard to see kids who have been through that try to cope and find happiness in a new life and it breaks my heart to think another child may come into this world to experience that kind of life.  I hope for your friend's sake that she gets her shit together before the baby comes...or for the baby's sake that she gives it to someone who will care for it properly.

     

    You have every right to be angry with her.  That was just an ignorant thing for her to say.  So I say-drop as many F bombs as you need to, and honestly-Id let her know how you feel.  We have all bottled it up and bit our tongue too too much lately-time to let some out!

    accordingtoabby.com" "From of suffering emerges the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars." Kahlil Gibran
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  • KristysRedBarnKristysRedBarn
    Hugs.  I am sorry sorry.  I question God's logic at time too.
    imageimage
    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
    April 2011 CP @ 5 weeks
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  • mtenderemtendere member

    I'm sorry you have to deal with that at such a difficult time.  It was extremely insensitive.  Some people have no clue. 

    As far as God's logic goes, I try to remember that there's a big picture - much bigger than we can see - and it has nothing to do with who "deserves" a child most.  Of course, that doesn't mean I don't do my share of questioning. 

    Hugs and prayers to you.

    ***************************** Our beautiful daughter was born in October 2009. Turns out she was quite the miracle. After two years of TTC, diagnosed with DOR. A couple of failed treatment cycles later, we decided to let go of our hope for more biological children and explore adoption.
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  • happygirl06happygirl06
    Ew. ?I can't believe that! ?I don't have myspace but can you block her or something? ?She is the last thing that you need right now.
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