Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
lancyjo
member
Re: Tuesday Confessions?
DH is doing a happy dance because we have DTD more than 3 times in the last 3 weeks!
I play with my nose all day. It itches like crazy (dry) so I feel like I'm constantly touching my nose. I swear every single time I do, someone walks by so I feel like I got caught picking my nose!
I am really uncomfortable holding my niece. She is just over a month but I just don't like to hold her. She fits wrong and doesn't snuggle like Allison did. It makes me wonder if it is because she isn't mine and if I really want another baby.
That might be more times than me... not sure, but I still give you a
for 3 times.
My confession- I have no freaking idea how to get my child to do independent playtime without screaming her little head off every. single. time. She is screaming and clawing at my feet as I type this. I just can't take her not being able to do it anymore and I feel like I'm about to lose it. I just need a freaking minute while you are awake in which you are not attached to my body, child!!!!!!
I don't like my DD's name.
My DH and I had gone back and forth on a couple names, and we hadn't decided on one when DD was born. I think I was too tired from the birth to fight for the one I really wanted, so we ended up going with the name DH liked better. Now I really don't like it and secretly wish we had gone with the name I liked.
Oh, also...I hate the term AF. I don't know why but every single time I see it I just roll my eyes (and I've used it in the past because it is the common way to refer to your period on TB).
I have always thought it was stupid, from the very first time I heard a friend refer to her period that way.
I always make my son's formula bottle before I go to bed. Yep forget all those instructions about tossing after 2 hours. He drinks it 8 hours later.
I'm a horrible mother.
1) my house is a mess it looks like a bomb went off and i dont care
2) dh and i are going away this weekend and he has other ideas other then sleeping and i just want to sleep.
3) and i dont feel bad for leaving my mom with a sick kid
I assumed she meant out of the fridge, but I could be wrong.
btw- slv0606 your siggy pic is just too cute!!! He just looks so happy and so chill!!
I have a double standard. I buy plum packets for rushed mornings, but would rather DS eat oatmeal, etc. When DH feeds DS I want HIM to make the oatmeal and *I* want to be able to use the Plum packets.
(in my defense, I get myself and the three kids ready before work then drive them, other than DH feeding DS from time to time when he is in town, so I don't see why DH cannot mix up cereal).
And....
I should be working, but the spreadsheet I was working on was making my head hurt. So TB it is.
1) My house is a disaster and I just don't care.
2) I'm not looking forward to the girls birthday parties this weekend. I really wish we were just doing a small thing with just our immediate families instead of two bigger parties like this.
3) I am exhausted and overwhelmed and wish I could have just one weekend all to myself - no H, no kids. H took them to my MILs on Sunday for a couple of hours to give me some down time and instead of relaxing I went to the grocery store and cleaned for 2 hours. Free time is so rare that when I get it I feel like I need to be productive and therefore I never really relax. I miss "me" time.
Yes! Especially since I actually have an Aunt Flo.
I think this is the hardest part of being a parent. I really miss "me" time, which is why I really resent people who judge me for wanting some time away from my kids even though I work full time. Work time is not "me" time. I love my children more than life itself, and I love my husband too, and I absolutely LOVE spending time with them, but sometimes I just want to do what I want to do without thinking about anyone else.
Yes, yes, yes. You really have to force yourself to have "me" time, even if it means living in squalor sometimes. I do feel better about myself when my house is clean, but I still much prefer to sit on the couch with a magazine and a cocktail sometimes.
I have another one:
i don't capitalize on facebook. almost never, except if i'm writing something to someone i don't know very well or i know will judge me for it.
LOL! I never actually use it when speaking, just when typing on the bump.
212 Facebook Admin.
At this point work time is me time! My job is easy and pretty mindless so it's the calmest time of the day for me normally. H gets pissy when I tell him I need some time without him around because he's usually just playing on his computer anyway but sometimes I just want to be ALONE. If I'm going to my parent's house on the weekend I'll usually leave for there Saturday morning while he's at work and spend all afternoon there so at least once or twice a month he has the place to himself. And he has no problem whatsoever with doing nothing and just enjoying himself. God forbid he use that time to clean up and surprise me with a freshly cleaned condo. I wish my brain could be rewired to be more like his, although then we'd be screwed!
Stopping BFing and pumping has caused my libido to skyrocket. Call me Lancy. DH is thrilled.
I haven't put one ounce of thought into DD's birthday.
I'm seriously, seriously pissed that it's only Tuesday.
We're flying to visit my family in DC this weekend and I really just want to ditch my family and spend the entire time at the zoo. After DD's love affair with the fish tank at Bass Pro, I think she'll really enjoy the invertebrate house, and I don't feel like seeing my cousins and aunts and uncles.
This exactly
#2 I've been home sick for the last two days, just today Ive realized my underwear are inside out, and I haven't showered since Sunday
Oh, you picked a great weekend. The weather is supposed to be fabulous!!! Like mid 60s!!! Very rare for a January weekend! Have a great time! DC is the best (totally unbiased opinion here.
)
Maybe that's what's wrong with me?! I'm only pumping twice a day now and I'm horny all. the. time. DH is in heaven.
I never use AF outside of TB, and before this I always thought it was dumb, too. I think being here has kind of desensitized me to it.
I am guilty of #2.... And I'm ok with that.
Let me just give a big amen to the "when is me time" discussion. I did get a pedicure this past weekend and it was so worth it.
Also pissed that its only Tuesday.
I confess that I'm being all judge-y today. There is a girl in another department who is about 6 feet tall, wearing a mini skirt and gigantic heels. We work in a law office. This is not appropriate.
I also confess that my open letter yesterday worked and Connor only woke up once in the night! Happy mommy over here!
I'm playing Sims 3
Edit: I'm playing sims 3 in my maternity jeans. All my other pants are in the laundry. Because I haven't done laundry in so long.
Yep out of the fridge.
Wow! You're 85 weeks pregnant!
Check to see if you can change the name.
My Colton...Growing up so fast!
And Coralee, his baby sister...On the way!
I went to dinner with my mom tonight and Eli tagged along. They were out of whole milk so I got Eli chocolate milk instead.
I LOVE Sims 3. And I still wear my maternity jeans on a regular. They are so much more comfy than my non maternity jeans.
I always think of good confessions in the shower. . . and then forget them by the time I see a confession post.
Here's all I've got. . my H and I hardly ever DTD. He doesn't like to come to bed early and I instituted a "we have to start before 10" rule. We maybe average once a week.
Once a week is "hardly ever"?! Lol, I wish we had sex that often.