Finding out the sex: yes or no?

Potato Pie · January 2013

DH and I were both those kinds of people who didn't understand why you wouldn't find out the sex of the baby. I was saying this to another pg friend of mine just yesterday, but then I read this article and it's got me thinking:

https://mommycribnotes.com/2012/11/sex-of-baby/

Are you going to find out? Why or why not?

snookums2013 · January 2013

Definitely because I am extremely impatient... haha ;-) Also, I think it makes it seem more real if you can visualize the baby's identity. I think people that are able to wait have amazing self control and patience!

daylight11 · January 2013

Yes to finding out! I lack patience. But also, it helps with the naming process, and for me, helps to feel more connected to the baby while they're still inside.

MrsSteSte · January 2013

I just opened that link, but realized I want to post BEFORE I read it.

Our two main reasons are:
1. it's, like, the only legitimate surprise left in this world.
2. we want the focus of the next however many months to be focused on the bebe and the joy and trying to enjoy each moment - not thinking about stuff and things and all that junk. I'm 99% sure this isn't coming out how I mean it, but oh well.

Obviously we're first timers Wink and are kind of idealistic. And I'm not saying those who find out are about STUFF and THINGS, but I fear we could fall into that.

lisamoe · January 2013

Nope, not finding out. It's so exciting!

Good article. I agree with all the reasons she listed.

acarrino · January 2013

We are most definitely going to find out. We went through years of infertility treatments and with our families going through it emotionally with us, everyone is anxious to know. I do like the idea of not finding out and we might go team green for the next baby. I understand both points of view but being so excited that it finally happened for us we are very anxious to find out. It most definitely won't matter either way, boy or girl but would love to know!

JET29 · January 2013

We will find out. I prefer to know so that I can plan the nursery, pick a name, etc.

I figure it's still a surprise whether you find out at 20 weeks or 40.

kje120 · January 2013

We'll be finding out because neither of us are patient enough to wait. I know it wasn't the intent of the article, but to me some of those reasons were bitchy and selfish. I don't feel the need to piss off my MIL or make every conversation be about me and my baby.

kristykay123 · January 2013

Yes, easier planning.

iriscarmendiaz · January 2013

I want to know. Simply because I'm nosy. I have no good reason, I just want to know.

I doubt I'll tell other people what the gender is, simply because I don't want to be swamped with all pink or all blue things anyway. Not that I'm counting on people getting me anything at all (long not interesting story as to why).

starshower22 · January 2013

I can understand both sides, not finding out vs. finding out, but for us we are team green because we are very much looking forward to the surprise factor. There isn't anything I can think of that would be a better surprise! I've always been pretty patient so it doesn't bother me in the least not to know. Plus it's not my preference to have a bunch of pink or blue things. I'm much more happy to have greens and yellows. Thankfully DH feels the same!

WashingtonQueen · January 2013

We are trying to be team green.

peanutmuse · January 2013

We're undecided. But I have to be honest here, that article did absolutely nothing for me. I should say that I am actually on the side of not finding out. My husband wants to find out. I was hoping there would be something good in there to show him. IMO the reasons listed were trivial and redundant. (ETA: For example, the shower thing is one of the ones that is mentioned allllll the time. But there are ways to get around this. You can still find out the sex but not tell anyone else.)

I do, however, like something that a PP said -- it's a surprise whether it's at 20 weeks or 40. I never thought of it quite that way.

CaliforniaDream87 · January 2013

We're finding out!

Because we want too. There's no special explanation...

katharine25 · January 2013

I'm seriously undecided.

reasons to find out:

- Planning/decorating the nursery.

- Give DH time to plan a bris

- extreme impatience

Reason not to find out:

- DH won't agree to officially naming the baby until it's born, but if we find out that gender that is going to be so hard not to commit to a name.

- The surprise element seems fun

- I hear you get more registry items and less "cute" and needless things at baby showers if gender is unknown... (eta, and I see this is your links #1 reasons Smile )

lindsayanne14 · January 2013

I do not want to find out! No real reason other than its always been my preference to be surprised during the birth. I can see why people would want to find out though!

JET29 · January 2013

katharine25:
- I hear you get more registry items and less "cute" and needless things at baby showers if gender is unknown... (eta, and I see this is your links #1 reasons )

I'm sure this is very different depending on your family/social circle, but I did not find this to be true at my shower. Almost everyone got us something from the registry and then a cute (boy's) outfit in addition to the registry gift. I typically do the same when I attend showers.

SwittyMcGee · January 2013

I am pretty sure we won't be finding out until the kid is here. My husband has a very slight preference for finding out early, but he honestly doesn't care enough to argue about it.

I think I want to be surprised, not because I care that much about the "surprise" part, but because it really won't matter one way or the other. I like coming up with names for both sexes. We won't be doing a heavily-themed nursery, and maybe I am being short-sighted, but I can't think of anything else for which we would need to plan. I like to believe that we won't treat the baby differently based on its sex.

ScarletOflaherty · January 2013

We are finding out, and I have no issues with anyone not finding out, but I thought the article to be pretty crappy. Agreed with whoever said above about mentioning repeatedly about it continuously focusing all attention on you, no one cares about your pregnancy half as much as you do.

Not finding out is fine, using it as a way to passive-aggressively annoy and string people along in the process is just stupid.

Cocolamo1 · January 2013

We found out with our previous two, but we have decided to be surprised with this one. I think it will make this pregnancy and delivery extra special!

I couldn't have imagined not finding out with my first!

aessary03 · January 2013

I'm finding out. I don't want all yellow/green things .... blah. I want to start buying stuff and I want to be able to really personalize it. Like pick out a name and be able to put together things with the baby's name on it. We're not poor but far from rich so it would be nice to be able to do this stuff a little at a time every month!

I can buy big things (we're going black crib, black changing table, etc) before we find out .... and we have the crib coming now (free shipping from amazon!). So yea ....that's why we're finding out. And not to mention that I'm an impatient b**ch!

Laurakat81 · January 2013

We don't plan on finding out. To me it just seems like the ultimate surprise. Not to mention it just makes me giddy thinking about what an amazing moment my husband will have when he walks out to the waiting room and gets to shout, "IT'S A...,".

I'm perfectly content decorating gender neutral and adding a few things over time to make it more boyish or girlish after the baby is born. I'm also excited about getting to purchase two take home outfits, one for each sex. And we will probably have a ton of handmedowns so its not like a lack of clothing will be an issue. If it is I know my mom and mil will be more than happy to do some last minute shopping!

And for each subsequent baby we will already have everything we need because all the big items are unisex.

MitsB707 · January 2013

We're definitely going to find out, but I'm leaning towards revealing the gender the day of my baby shower. I think it would be a nice surprise for everyone, ya know? It's our first, so I can't imagine not knowing, but I would love to surprise everyone there. :

Ahtnamas6789 · January 2013

I am so in between! I have always wanted to wait until birth to find out but now that I am pregnant I don't know if I can! My sister keeps encouraging me to wait, saying its one of the few surprises in life..I think she is right and am starting to lean towards waiting! Now I just need to convince my dear love that we should! Such a long wait haha

csavery · January 2013

Definately! I am impatient and have to plan everything out, I can't plan if I don't know if I'm having a boy or girl

lynn97 · January 2013

Yes, we will this time. We were Team Green with number one and I fully agree w/the reasons the article listed. In particular, I loved getting gender-neutral things and getting the stuff we needed and used. Many of my friends were envious of that since they spent lots of money buying necessities while there were piles of clothes that never got worn. This time, we won't have any showers or anything and I'm just itching to know whether baby Is a girl or boy. We may or may not tell others IRL, though ;-)

monaclemere · January 2013

NO WAY!!

We didn't find out with DD (now 2), and it was the absolute best moment of the whole day. I still get teary thinking about that moment in the delivery room when my stunned husband said "It's a girl????" We were so shocked, we had been thinking boy all along.

Finding out at the 20 wk U/S, while it's a surprise, seems somehow like less of one. If you wait until the baby is born, you've had an entire pregnancy to build up that excitement, anticipation and wonder. You meet this complete surprise at delivery.

Once you've found out at 20 weeks, the thrill is over and done. You have another 20 or so weeks of just waiting. Boring!

We'll definitely go Team Green again!

rissa06 · January 2013

We found out for the first two, this time... I want it to be a surprise. My still wants to find out.

lynn97 · January 2013

SwittyMcGee:
I am pretty sure we won't be finding out until the kid is here. My husband has a very slight preference for finding out early, but he honestly doesn't care enough to argue about it.I think I want to be surprised, not because I care that much about the "surprise" part, but because it really won't matter one way or the other. I like coming up with names for both sexes. We won't be doing a heavilythemed nursery, and maybe I am being shortsighted, but I can't think of anything else for which we would need to plan. I like to believe that we won't treat the baby differently based on its sex.nbsp;

nbsp;No, you aren't being shortsighted IMO at all. When people say they ave to know b/c they are a planner, it always makes me laugh. I'm one of the biggest planners I know and we were Team Green. We had two sets of names picked out, two going home outfits and a handful of boy outfits and girl outfits at our house. Everything else was neutral and I was good with that.nbsp;nbsp;I guess if someone is attached to the allpink nursery and stuff or allblue it would be different. As a fellow Team Green mama I know said, she felt like the ultimate planner by NOT finding out as everything was genderneutral for future kiddos too :

raffsen · January 2013

Team green here!!! We are so excited to find out in the moment. I love the anticipation, will most likely be the best surprise of my life...until number two comes along.

I get the other side too, nothing against being surprised while you are still pregnant. This is just the way I have always imagined it for me, very old fashioned

Rorr2 · January 2013

We are finding out. First, we have two in there and that makes me want to be as prepared as possible. Plus I am an event planner, so by nature I need to plan.

I never thought I would find out with my first, but with all the infertility stuff, I find myself anxious to know.

And I agree with a pp, at 20 or 40 weeks, it's a good surprise.

JoySeattle · January 2013

We will not be finding out.

kim1989 · January 2013

Definitely, we couldn't go the whole time without knowing. But this time around I want to do a fun gender reveal like balloons or cupcakes.

Peridot0812 · January 2013

We will be finding out. It's definitely a surprise finding out at 20 weeks and I don't think it takes anything away from the day you give birth. You are still meeting your baby for the first time.

For me, it broke up the long 9 months and, aside from her birthday and the day I got my BFP, finding out my daughter was a girl was the best day of my pregnancy.

punkin05 · January 2013

We're finding out. It's just as much of a surprise at 20 weeks as 40 weeks. Some people argue that not knowing makes you more inclined to get that baby out faster in labor, but I assure any first time moms that whether you know the sex or not, you will want that baby out.

TristansMom01 · January 2013

Finding out for sure. We did for DS as well. I for one, enjoy stuff and things and like to buy ahead. Also, I'm not an enjoyable person to be around when I'm pregnant so obviously we won't be cherishing each other right now haha. I will try to be on my best behavior and DH will be awesome as always!

hqinmd · January 2013

I thought that list was kind of silly. Two of the reasons revolve around nursery decor, but you can still do a gender neutral nursery even if you know the sex. I couldn't care less if relatives try to predict the sex, and I have no desire to annoy anyone by not finding out. There is no appeal there. I also believe that my family will buy off my registry regardless.

As for the surprise of finding out at the end, it's still, as someone else said, a surprise when you find out, regardless of whether its before or at birth. And IMO, there is plenty going in at the time of the birth without having to wait for someone to say what the sex is. I am confident I will be every bit as enthralled with the birth of my baby even if I know the sex in advance.

GoldenPeaches · January 2013

Yeah, we will be finding out. I wanted to be surprised but DH was against it. Since I am getting my way with pretty much everything else about the birth and pregnancy, I am letting him have this one.

tiffbot1985 · January 2013

We will not be finding out. I've known that my whole life and was relieved when I found out H felt the same way.

Millie1984 · January 2013

Its a good article, but I'm finding out!

katiedid0907 · January 2013

We are going to find out too. It will be a surprise no matter when we decide to find out, so I figure why not personalize the nursery and make the planning/registry process easier?

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