Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Limiting Presents
No, I don't think it's ok to instruct others on how they want to spend their money. Graciously accept and then re-gift or donate what you can't use/don't want.
Don't feel obligated to respond in kind, give what your family is comfortable giving.
BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10
BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15
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That is an awesome idea. I know the people in question will get very upset when we tell them this new rule, and I had no idea what I was going to do when they ignored it (which I'm guessing they will do).
I didn't know if it was ethically ok to tell other people what they can and can't do with their money so to speak.
This.
If it is always from family, I might mention that it is a lot & then let it drop. If it is overwhelming LO to open all that, then limit the number of gifts that get opened & tell them why (kindly). Open the rest later & then re-gift/donate. Don't feel obligated to overwhelm LO with so much opening - it isn't worth it.
My mother lives to buy absurd amounts of absurd stuff. Not to sound like an ass but a lot of it is cheap and jokey and not practical/usable. For Aiden's first Christmas, because we lived in an apartment, we asked the grandparents to be mindful of their gifts and try to keep it to only a couple things because he was only 7 months old. My mother showed up with trash bags full of shitt. She later asked where some of it was and I told her I had donated it - things that he couldn't use and we didn't have room to store. She flipped her ever loving mind. Too bad. I tried to be gentle and vague in my "warning" to people that we couldn't take everything they laid eyes on and she ignored me so I did what I had to do.
I do agree with a PP that it's rude to accept stuff that people spent money on and get rid of it if you've given no indication that you needed to limit the gifts.
Eh, we do this. My mil buys whatever she can find that is super cheap in mass quantities. Like she got DH a plastic belt that is 28 inches long. He has a 32 waist. She buys from odd places, never keeps gift receipts, and cries if he buys the wrong size.
We usually donate things we won't use. We don't tell her and she never asks. I don't think she remembers what she buys us.
I think we've discussed this before, but are you my sister? That is my mother. I'm not a fan of telling others how to spend their money, but there's comes a point when it gets obscene and something has to be said. She has gotten better, but buying crap is a compulsion for her.
I think it depends a bit on the situation as well. Both DH's parents and my mom, God love them, have zero money sense and always spend more than they can afford. Not a little bit more, a lot. So with them yeah I have said we only want x amount spent on her per family or x amount of gifts. It's helped a little but honestly next year I probably will tell them if you give her over x number of gifts any others will be dontated to charity. She doesn't need them and maybe it will stop them from driving themselves further into debt.
I have thought about it but decided I wasn't comfortable telling people how to spend their money. If they ask, sure I might say something about having a lot of toys already, but if they don't, I simply smile graciously and donate what I can't use or store it for later.
I also believe that giving gifts is how some people show love. What they give might be cheap / useless, but if giving the gift makes them happy and loved, then so be it.
I don't limit. But we don't have parents that go THAT overboard. Or if they do it is more like things that we want for her anyway--and eventually would buy.
However, we do rotate opening things up. Many of her Hanukkah/Christmas gifts are still not opened. I think tomorrow I am going to pack some of the away and cycle them throughout the winter.