Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: FFFC
This, plus my Mom is the only person we'd consider leaving Aria with overnight. She already keeps Aria for us while we work. She won't accept any kind of payment, regardless of how much I try.
Mom also has a sewing business she runs in her "off" time. She deals with severe vericose vein problems as well as neuropathy, so rest is a must for her to avoid complications.
Aria still isn't sttn. She's not consistent in the number of times she wakes up, either. Until she is sttn or consistently waking up only once a night, I won't ask mom to keep her [even though I know she'd be happy to].
Mom already helps us so much, I won't take advantage of her for an overnight. It's not really that big of a deal to me either. Heck, I'd probably just be up wondering about how Aria was getting along anyway.
We will leave her overnight eventually. It's just not something we're ready to do yet.
212 Facebook Admin.
I have two today...
I let PJ watch TV way more than I said I would....mostly bc I said he wasn't going to watch TV until he was over 1...that went out the window, lol. He usually watches like 2 episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse per day. Today, he also watched an episode of Sesame Street.
I haven't showered in almost 48 hours. I feel GROSS!
1st time participating here for FFFC.
We are leaving J overnight for 3 nights end of this month. Its my DH's 30th birthday + we will be heading down to Miami for a long weekend.
Sometimes I feel bad leaving J, but I know he will have a blast with his grandparents and we will be able to enjoy some alone time.
I probably would have quit cloth diapering a while ago, if my family hadn't given me such a hard time about it when I started it. They all said I would want to quit after a couple months. I love do cloth diapers, but we're staying with my IL's to save for a home and they have a front loader HE washer and they have hard water. It drives me crazy trying to figure out how to get them completely clean every wash. UGH!
We haven't yet, but only because it hasn't worked with Lucia's grandparents, who will be the people we leave her with. They go out of town all the time! Not helpful. I I think it's hurting H and my relationship that we haven't taken this kind of time together yet. And I think it slowed down Lucia's relationship with her grandparents, which I wish wasn't the case. We had planned to do it in September, but it still hasn't worked out. Hopefully soon!
BFP 3.8.16 EDD 11.20.16
Do you water it down?
My parents are the only ones who have offered to take her over night, and they live 4 hours away. If I'm going to drive that far, I want to spend all my time with them too.
MIL, FIL and StepMIL all live within 15 min. FIL and StepMIL have never offered to watch her, much less keep her overnight. I don't care, because it isnt their responsibility, it is just the only reason we haven't left her with them.
MIL on the other hand offers all the time. She has severe anxiety and refuses to take her medication for it, which makes me nervous. Also, her house is not safe. E has never been there. She had water damage several years ago, due to a leaky roof. The roof has since been repaired, but the damaged carpet and sheet rock are still there. I am assuming there is mold and mildew growing because it smells damp and musty.
Because I don't feel comfortable with E being at her house, I feel like I can't leave her overnight with anyone else right now because she will be hurt and offended. Maybe DH will grow a pair and tell her why E can't go to her house.
BFP #1 1/11/11 M/C 2/4/11
BFP #2 6/13/11 Baby E born 2/18/12
BFP #3 12/3/12 C/P 12/5/12
BFP #4 2/10/13 Baby R born 10/19/13
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I never shower everyday. Every 2 days is the minimum, 3 days on average and sometimes 4 if I am not going anywhere that day.
I have crazy sponge like hair that takes forever to dry ( even my Hairdresser is impressed) so it is ton of hassel to dry it, I have to air dry for about an hour before I blowdry to make it worth my while. I use dry shampoo and teasing often to conceal the oil. Sometime I take a quick body bath if I need it, but I wash my hair as little as I can.
I 100% agree with this. It's one thing if you have no family close by or are EBF, but I definitely side eye people who won't leave their kids for a few hours at this point. And I think an overnight away is awesome! Due to the holidays the girls spent a night at my MILs 3 times between November and December (one night because we went to the city with friends and two nights because my MIL does holiday dinners at about 9pm and we just left the girls sleeping there and picked them up in the morning). It was great. H and I got to spend some time alone together and - most importantly - we got to sleep! I'd say we have had probably 6-8 nights away (always one night at a time) since they were born.
The girls also go to my ILs house almost every Sunday for a few hours. H and I both work full-time, but I don't feel guilty for one second about it. It's an opportunity for us to go run errands, clean the condo, or just grab lunch and catch a movie. It's just a few hours but it's great. It allows my ILs to see them every week and the girls are very close with them as a result, and it allows H and I some time to get chores done and/or spend some time together. For us, it's all about balance.
That being said I don't think I could do a vacation away from them at this point. I don't judge those who do, but even when they spend one night away I definitely miss them and am happy when we pick them up. I could do a weekend, but not more then that.
For some reason I picture the scene in Home Alone when he goes into the basement and the furnace comes alive and he runs out all scared!!
I'm not making fun of you, I've been known to check every square inch of my house while holding a pair of scissors if DH is out of town and I hear a noise!
Just be careful with the juice. My 3 year old cousin has 6 cavities from drinking too much juice. They had to cap all of the cavities because he's not ready to lose his teeth yet and if they leave the cavities it is painful and they will rot the adult tooth.
This morning I put DS's coat and hat on him, popped him in his carseat and left for work (rushing as usual). Just about two minutes before I got to the daycare, I noticed that my feet felt extremely comfortable; I had left my bright red fuzzy slippers on! It was too late to turn back, but luckily I always keep heels and flats under my desk. Unreal!
I don't know. I just have always watered it down as long as I could ( untill age 4 or so).I think that it's just too easy for them to get hooked on the flavor of juice.
I always thought the best situation would be if you could take a nanny or someone on vacation with you!!! That way you could take a vacation, but actually get a little bit of time to yourselves, so it's an actual vacation for you too! But I agree, a whole vacation without them would be really hard.
I desperately wish we had anyone who could take the kids overnight. We both work full time, but I really don't understand why that has anything to do with wanting an occassional night away from the kids. It would be amazing to get to eat dinner with two hands, and actually get to chew my food. If the kids stayed somewhere overnight, that would mean I could do the same at breakfast! Amazing!!!
To me, wanting a break doesn't mean I don't want to spend time with my kids, and I really resent the implication that just because I work full-time I wouldn't want a break once in a while. I love my kids, but I love myself and my husband too. Assuming I had someone I totally trusted, an overnight just doesn't seem like a big deal to me. I would still spend the majority of Saturday and Sunday with them, so I don't see why getting a couple extra hours of sleep or alone time with DH is a big deal. I think it's REALLY important to continue having alone time with your SO. It's too easy to let your relationship with your kids overtake your relationship with your SO. To me, the relationships are equally important.
I do this too, except with a baseball bat! And we have 3 attic accesses off our 2nd floor, so those get checked too.
DH and I went to Hawaii this past fall.... Yes I felt a bit guilty, but my parents watched him at our house half the time and DH's parents watched him at our house the other half. We Facetimed every night and the two of us had an amazing time. Our parents really got to bond with him too!
I said that I side eye those who don't want to be away from their kids for a few hours (as I've seen some people on here say and have heard a few people IRL say) and I stand by that. I think if you can't leave your 10+ month year old for a few hours during the day without having an anxiety attack there's an issue.
I also find it extremely amusing when people say that others need to find other things to occupy my time. Trust me, just because I say that I side eye something doesn't mean that I give it any more thought after the initial side eye when I read a comment. Unless you're abusing or neglecting your child or putting them in danger in some way there isn't anything that I'll worry about or get worked up over.
Edit: grammar
I think I will actually miss pumping. I just got a Kindle for Christmas, and so I have been spending my pumping breaks reading while I pump. I am going to miss having the chance to leave my classroom twice a day and go read. I never thought I would want to pump.
And, I really like Justin Bieber's song As Long As You Love Me. In fact, I like several Bieber songs. I can't help myself.
Yeah, but the sentence say "but I definitely side eye people who won't leave their kids for a few hours at this point". If you don't have family close by and are EBF that could still make leaving your kid for a few hours more difficult. I'm not sure how that was misunderstood.
BFP #3 - 05.20.11, EDD - 01.31.12, Logan is here! 02.05.12
BFP #2 - 03.16.11, M/C 03.24.11
BFP #1 - 10.17.10, Blighted Ovum dx, M/C 01.09.11
Here is what I found regarding juice:
The American Academy of Pediatrics, in their policy statement on The Use and Misuse of Fruit Juice in Pediatrics makes it clear that 'there is no nutritional indication to feed juice to infants younger than 6 months.'
They also recommend that juice be given only in a cup, not in a bottle, and that if you do give your older infant juice, then 4-6 ounces of juice would be more than enough for the entire day.
Keep in mind that this is really a daily limit though and not necessarily an endorsement for drinking juice. Since most kids drink too much juice and drinking juice can be associated with having cavities, diarrhea, not eating well, and being overweight, you would be better off giving your older infant fruit instead of fruit juice.
If you do give your child juice, do follow these tips from the AAP:
-when you give your child juice, it should be 100% pasteurized fruit juice and not fruit drinks and you should offer it to your infant in a cup only and not a bottle
-infants under 6 months of age should not be given juice, although many Pediatricians do recommend small amounts of juice for children that are constipated
-younger children aged 1 to 6 years should have only 4-6 ounces of juice a day.
-older children should be limited to 8-12 ounces of juice a day instead of juice, children should be encouraged to eat whole fruits
Like I said, given the context I don't think it was that much of a stretch. At all. However, I did say it was my mistake.
It's hard to find information on how much sugar is in formula! I just tried searching for it and found that Enfamil is the worst with 13.5g per serving, but it doesn't say what a serving size is. If a serving is 8 ounces then even 100% natural juice is MUCH worse (over double). But if not, then it could be comparable. But if you're feeding your LO formula and fruits and juice, that's a lot of sugar.
I think our pediatrician told us to limit them to one or two servings of watered down juice a day. They've only had it once, but the girls have never had any constipation issues. I would check with your pediatrician but if they don't have an issue I wouldn't worry about it (even if it's not something I would do and I might give you a little side-eye when I read about it
).
Thank you so much for this feedback. I love that he has a great relationship with our families. Both of our moms have an iPhone, so we can FaceTime, great idea! I am looking forward to some alone time with DH. After all, we will have our hands full even more this time next year
my kid drinks juice too. NBD in my opinion. Don't even think twice about it.
Along the same lines as this, my dentist said that the bigger concern isn't really how much of a sugary drink you have, but how often you have it. So if you have one soda that you nurse all day and I down 5 sodas in one sitting you'll be more likely to get cavities because you'll be exposing your teeth to those sugars consistently through the day (I'll just get fat!). So if you offer juice multiple times a day that could be worse for the teeth.
My Colton...Growing up so fast!
And Coralee, his baby sister...On the way!
I LOVE IHOP! Pancakes are one of my favorite foods. Mmm, now I want those and I've been so good the past couple of days!
1. I still BF and besides the fact that it's free and good for him (please don't take this in any way to be knocking formula, cause it's not) the main thing that really made me to keep going was some of my family and friends. They told me that I wouldn't be able to last 3 months, if I could even make it past 4 weeks. I had to prove them wrong. I wanted to stop so many times because I'm tired, I've been extremely hormonal...but I NEED to prove them wrong. I'm very hard-headed.
2. We haven't left Jackson alone with anybody over night yet. He doesn't STTN yet and that's not fair to put that on someone, we are his parents. The only time I've left him for the night was black Friday shopping. And, go figure, he ended up STTN for DH. We are going to Vegas in April for a work conference. I don't want to leave him with my IL's. I want to leave him with my parents but they own a garden center and spring is the busiest time and there is no way they'd be able to watch him for 4 days. MIL is already asking to keep him during that time. I just keep changing the subject.
3. I'm afraid that when I stop BF'ing in February that I'm going to go back to being anorexic. I lost all the pregnancy weight over the year and then some. But over the past 2 months, I've been so hungry no matter what I eat and I've gained so much weight. I tried to diet but then my supply tanked like crazy. My stomach currently looks like I'm 4 months prego. I'm really disgusted in myself. Hopefully when I stop BF'ing, these crazy hormones will go away and those thoughts will stop.