~UO Thursday~

Soleil3 · January 2013

I find judging a parents level of obsession ridiculous.

RivieraBound · January 2013

BreanneL24:
RivieraBound:
megaboosmom:
peanut+muse:
EmmaBoBemma:

You would roll your eyes allllll over my fb then. (:

Yes, yes I would.

ETA: I should also add in my personal experience, the people who have pics of their kids as their profile pics are either (a) overly obsessed with their kids to the point of it being an issue, or (b) extremely insecure. That's probably where my opinion comes from. For example, one of my friends (one of the FB profile pic offenders) has a daughter who will be 7 in February. Her daughter has never spent a night away from her. Not once. Not even with my friend's own parents. She (my friend, not her daughter) has major attachment issues. It's creepy.

My kids have absolutely no reason to ever spend a night away from me. My oldest had her first sleepover with a friend at age 8. Why would I pawn them off on one of my friends or a babysitter for a night?

My parents are looking forward to keeping their grandkids overnight. You never spent the night at grandma's growing up? I certainly won't be pawning them but I fully intend on letting them stay with them once in a while. I loved it as a kid.

My IL's live 15 minutes away and I don't intend for DS to spend the night there...ever. I don't like them and even though he is only 9 months I haven't left him yet. I don't think there is anything wrong with not having babysitters or whatever as long as it works for the family.

The person I was responding to kind of made it sound like the only reason one would leave their kid over night is to "pawn them off" so I was just mentioning there are other reasons to have them not stay every single night with you is all. I am all for doing whatever works for your family

Bakes4u · January 2013

EmmaBoBemma:
bakes4u:
EmmaBoBemma:
I judge parents all the time for their parenting choices. Examples: Giving your child below the age of 5 cough syrup, and talking on the phone while in a busy place with a toddler walking by your side. My IL's are the worst at all this stuff.nbsp;

It must be nice to be the perfect parent
It's SO nice being perfect.
It must be nice to be the perfect human. 
Seriously though, judging is human nature and this is an UO thread. get.over.it. 

Oh boo hoo. Your wit is overwhelming me.

peanutmuse · January 2013

Soleil3:
I find judging a parents level of obsession ridiculous.nbsp;

I am sure you are speaking to me, so to this I will respond... if a person cannot carry on a conversation without bringing up their child EVER, even if it is completely unrelated to the conversation, it causes problems in their relationships. Pathological obsession toward anything is not a good or healthy thing.

peanutmuse · January 2013

megaboosmom:
peanut+muse:
EmmaBoBemma:
You would roll your eyes allllll over my fb then. (:  
Yes, yes I would.
ETA: I should also add in my personal experience, the people who have pics of their kids as their profile pics are either (a) overly obsessed with their kids to the point of it being an issue, or (b) extremely insecure. That's probably where my opinion comes from. For example, one of my friends (one of the FB profile pic offenders) has a daughter who will be 7 in February. Her daughter has never spent a night away from her. Not once. Not even with my friend's own parents. She (my friend, not her daughter) has major attachment issues. It's creepy.

My kids have absolutely no reason to ever spend a night away from me. My oldest had her first sleepover with a friend at age 8. Why would I pawn them off on one of my friends or a babysitter for a night?

So you can have a break. So your child can learn to function for a night without you. So your child can have a special night with grandparents, aunts, uncles. Any or all of the above. This is the objective you, by the way. Not specific.

pantherRN · January 2013

darjeeling:
Great article related to this: The Mom Stays in the Picture
warning, it might make you tear up

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/allison-tate/mom-pictures-with-kids_b_1926073.html

This article is really good.

kittyh8r · January 2013

bakes4u:
EmmaBoBemma:
bakes4u:
EmmaBoBemma:
I judge parents all the time for their parenting choices. Examples: Giving your child below the age of 5 cough syrup, and talking on the phone while in a busy place with a toddler walking by your side. My IL's are the worst at all this stuff.nbsp;
It must be nice to be the perfect parent
It's SO nice being perfect.
It must be nice to be the perfect human.
Seriously though, judging is human nature and this is an UO thread. get.over.it.
Oh boo hoo. Your wit is overwhelming me.

I wish I was you.

cg0112358 · January 2013

EmmaBoBemma:
I judge parents all the time for their parenting choices. Examples: Giving your child below the age of 5 cough syrup, and talking on the phone while in a busy place with a toddler walking by your side. My IL's are the worst at all this stuff.

umm, so you judge me b/c I give my DS cough medicine per the pedi's recommendation/prescription? This seriously confuses me...

peanutmuse · January 2013

This is a much better UO Thursday than last week! Actual debates, sweet.

darjeeling · January 2013

EmmaBoBemma:
Seriously though, judging is human nature and this is an UO thread. get.over.it.

Perhaps one might benefit from following one's own advice...?

Soleil3 · January 2013

peanut+muse:
Soleil3:
I find judging a parents level of obsession ridiculous.nbsp;
I am sure you are speaking to me, so to this I will respond... if a person cannot carry on a conversation without bringing up their child EVER, even if it is completely unrelated to the conversation, it causes problems in their relationships. Pathological obsession toward anything is not a good or healthy thing.

You brought it up but I think a couple people agreed? I think assuming what causes problems in someone else's relationships is a stretch too. As well as determining someone has a pathological obsession based off their Facebook acct or the fact they don't want their kid to spend the night elsewhere. It's a odd thing to judge, to me. Of all the things I judge, loving your kid TOO much isn't one of them.

Also, I'm not basing my comment off one friend of a friend someone has, but in general.

kittyh8r · January 2013

cg0112358:
EmmaBoBemma:
I judge parents all the time for their parenting choices. Examples: Giving your child below the age of 5 cough syrup, and talking on the phone while in a busy place with a toddler walking by your side. My IL's are the worst at all this stuff.
umm, so you judge me b/c I give my DS cough medicine per the pedi's recommendation/prescription? This seriously confuses me...

From what my pedi has told me, cough syrup shouldn't be given to children (for common colds) below the age of 6. If they're coughing you shouldn't suppress the cough, there's a reason they're coughing... I guess I should have elaborated on my reasoning.

darjeeling · January 2013

Soleil3:
peanut+muse:
Soleil3:
I find judging a parents level of obsession ridiculous.nbsp;
I am sure you are speaking to me, so to this I will respond... if a person cannot carry on a conversation without bringing up their child EVER, even if it is completely unrelated to the conversation, it causes problems in their relationships. Pathological obsession toward anything is not a good or healthy thing.
You brought it up but I think a couple people agreed? I think assuming what causes problems in someone else's relationships is a stretch too. As well as determining someone has a pathological obsession based off their Facebook acct or the fact they don't want their kid to spend the night elsewhere. It's a odd thing to judge, to me. Of all the things I judge, loving your kid TOO much isn't one of them.
Also, I'm not basing my comment off one friend of a friend someone has, but in general.

Smothering a kid will screw him/her up too, just in different ways. Balance is a healthy thing.

Soleil3 · January 2013

darjeeling:
Soleil3:
peanut+muse:
Soleil3:
I find judging a parents level of obsession ridiculous.nbsp;
I am sure you are speaking to me, so to this I will respond... if a person cannot carry on a conversation without bringing up their child EVER, even if it is completely unrelated to the conversation, it causes problems in their relationships. Pathological obsession toward anything is not a good or healthy thing.
You brought it up but I think a couple people agreed? I think assuming what causes problems in someone else's relationships is a stretch too. As well as determining someone has a pathological obsession based off their Facebook acct or the fact they don't want their kid to spend the night elsewhere. It's a odd thing to judge, to me. Of all the things I judge, loving your kid TOO much isn't one of them.
Also, I'm not basing my comment off one friend of a friend someone has, but in general.
Smothering a kid will screw him/her up too, just in different ways. Balance is a healthy thing.

How is not having a young child sleep over somewhere smothering?

kittyh8r · January 2013

darjeeling:
EmmaBoBemma:
Seriously though, judging is human nature and this is an UO thread. get.over.it.
Perhaps one might benefit from following one's own advice...?

Not sure what advice I should be following here...?

darjeeling · January 2013

I think what this board needs is some flow charts.

:::abandons attempts at further communication:::

peanutmuse · January 2013

Soleil3:
peanut+muse:
Soleil3:
I find judging a parents level of obsession ridiculous.nbsp;
I am sure you are speaking to me, so to this I will respond... if a person cannot carry on a conversation without bringing up their child EVER, even if it is completely unrelated to the conversation, it causes problems in their relationships. Pathological obsession toward anything is not a good or healthy thing.
You brought it up but I think a couple people agreed? I think assuming what causes problems in someone else's relationships is a stretch too. As well as determining someone has a pathological obsession based off their Facebook acct or the fact they don't want their kid to spend the night elsewhere. It's a odd thing to judge, to me. Of all the things I judge, loving your kid TOO much isn't one of them.
Also, I'm not basing my comment off one friend of a friend someone has, but in general.

First of all, you are assuming that I haven't had many conversations with people about the specific person I was referring to -- which I have. Many, many times. It's a constant worry for us.

Second, you are making another assumption -- that my determination of pathological obsession is related to FB only. Which it's not. This is a person that I see at least 3 times a week. She is my best friend's sister. I have known her for over 30 years.

Third, I never mentioned anything about loving a child too much. The word "love" never even entered any of my posts. There is a HUGE difference between love and obsession.

Soleil3 · January 2013

peanut+muse:
Soleil3:
peanut+muse:
Soleil3:
I find judging a parents level of obsession ridiculous.nbsp;
I am sure you are speaking to me, so to this I will respond... if a person cannot carry on a conversation without bringing up their child EVER, even if it is completely unrelated to the conversation, it causes problems in their relationships. Pathological obsession toward anything is not a good or healthy thing.
You brought it up but I think a couple people agreed? I think assuming what causes problems in someone else's relationships is a stretch too. As well as determining someone has a pathological obsession based off their Facebook acct or the fact they don't want their kid to spend the night elsewhere. It's a odd thing to judge, to me. Of all the things I judge, loving your kid TOO much isn't one of them.
Also, I'm not basing my comment off one friend of a friend someone has, but in general.
First of all, you are assuming that I haven't had many conversations with people about the specific person I was referring to -- which I have. Many, many times. It's a constant worry for us.
Second, you are making another assumption -- that my determination of pathological obsession is related to FB only. Which it's not. This is a person that I see at least 3 times a week. She is my best friend's sister. I have known her for over 30 years.
Third, I never mentioned anything about loving a child too much. The word "love" never even entered any of my posts. There is a HUGE difference between love and obsession.

I'm not making any assumptions, which is why I stated I'm not talking about a friend or random person someone knows, IE your friend. Obviously someone can be pathologically obsessed, I just don't feel that not letting their kid sleep over places is a sign of that.

Do you have kids?

rissa06 · January 2013

peanut+muse:
EmmaBoBemma:
pantherRN:
It really bothers me when women define themselves onl(: y as XYZ's wife or ABC's mommy, especially online. I also hate when people's FB profile picture is only their kid and they are no where to be found.

I agree with everything except the FB profile picture thing. haha My daughter is MUCH cuter than me and she photographs so well. SO she is my profile picture. If we have a family picture taken, I make it my profile picture...but in between those pictures...it's allll her. (:
See now, I think the FB thing is the worst. It's my FB pet peeve -- one of them, anyway. If a person is not at least in his/her own profile pic, I totally roll my eyes at that person.

I don't have a picture of myself in mine, but that is mainly due because I am the one always taking pictures. Second, I do not do front pics of the kids and in general I don't do front pictures of the kids. I know I have them in my siggy, but I really liked the picture.

Here is mine, I wish the board was a little bit more active or there was a slight change of topic or conversation on different things. . . I feel like I read the same posts every day and some times I do not want to answer anymore, because I feel like I answered the same question 55 million times.

Soleil3 · January 2013

There's definitely not very much diversity here.

lorow0715 · January 2013

You August ladies never disappoint!!!!

peanutmuse · January 2013

Soleil3:
peanut+muse:
Soleil3:
peanut+muse:
Soleil3:
I find judging a parents level of obsession ridiculous.nbsp;
I am sure you are speaking to me, so to this I will respond... if a person cannot carry on a conversation without bringing up their child EVER, even if it is completely unrelated to the conversation, it causes problems in their relationships. Pathological obsession toward anything is not a good or healthy thing.
You brought it up but I think a couple people agreed? I think assuming what causes problems in someone else's relationships is a stretch too. As well as determining someone has a pathological obsession based off their Facebook acct or the fact they don't want their kid to spend the night elsewhere. It's a odd thing to judge, to me. Of all the things I judge, loving your kid TOO much isn't one of them.
Also, I'm not basing my comment off one friend of a friend someone has, but in general.
First of all, you are assuming that I haven't had many conversations with people about the specific person I was referring to -- which I have. Many, many times. It's a constant worry for us.
Second, you are making another assumption -- that my determination of pathological obsession is related to FB only. Which it's not. This is a person that I see at least 3 times a week. She is my best friend's sister. I have known her for over 30 years.
Third, I never mentioned anything about loving a child too much. The word "love" never even entered any of my posts. There is a HUGE difference between love and obsession.

I'm not making any assumptions, which is why I stated I'm not talking about a friend or random person someone knows, IE your friend. Obviously someone can be pathologically obsessed, I just don't feel that not letting their kid sleep over places is a sign of that.
Do you have kids?

You were making assumptions about what I said, don't try to backpedal. You made specific references to things that I said.

No, I don't have any kids, not until August. That does not mean I am not entitled to an opinion about anything relating to kids. Please don't be so condescending as to say I might change my mind. You don't know me at all, and that would just be another assumption on your part.

For the record, I admitted that I am tainted by this particular friend's obsession with her child so I assume that other people who only have FB profile pics of only their kid(s) are also obsessed or insecure. To expand on that, I freely admit that it is an assumption that isn't necessarily based on reality. But it is what crosses my mind when I see it happen. That's what happens in life.

Disagreements also happen. Such is life.

megaboosmom · January 2013

peanut+muse:
Soleil3:
peanut+muse:
Soleil3:
peanut+muse:
Soleil3:
I find judging a parents level of obsession ridiculous.nbsp;

I am sure you are speaking to me, so to this I will respond... if a person cannot carry on a conversation without bringing up their child EVER, even if it is completely unrelated to the conversation, it causes problems in their relationships. Pathological obsession toward anything is not a good or healthy thing.
You brought it up but I think a couple people agreed? I think assuming what causes problems in someone else's relationships is a stretch too. As well as determining someone has a pathological obsession based off their Facebook acct or the fact they don't want their kid to spend the night elsewhere. It's a odd thing to judge, to me. Of all the things I judge, loving your kid TOO much isn't one of them.
Also, I'm not basing my comment off one friend of a friend someone has, but in general.  
First of all, you are assuming that I haven't had many conversations with people about the specific person I was referring to -- which I have. Many, many times. It's a constant worry for us.
Second, you are making another assumption -- that my determination of pathological obsession is related to FB only. Which it's not. This is a person that I see at least 3 times a week. She is my best friend's sister. I have known her for over 30 years.
Third, I never mentioned anything about loving a child too much. The word "love" never even entered any of my posts. There is a HUGE difference between love and obsession.
 
I'm not making any assumptions, which is why I stated I'm not talking about a friend or random person someone knows, IE your friend. Obviously someone can be pathologically obsessed, I just don't feel that not letting their kid sleep over places is a sign of that. 
Do you have kids? 
You were making assumptions about what I said, don't try to backpedal. You made specific references to things that I said. 
No, I don't have any kids, not until August. That does not mean I am not entitled to an opinion about anything relating to kids. Please don't be so condescending as to say I might change my mind. You don't know me at all, and that would just be another assumption on your part.
For the record, I admitted that I am tainted by this particular friend's obsession with her child so I assume that other people who only have FB profile pics of only their kid(s) are also obsessed or insecure. To expand on that, I freely admit that it is an assumption that isn't necessarily based on reality. But it is what crosses my mind when I see it happen. That's what happens in life.
Disagreements also happen. Such is life.

Insecure about what? Just curious as to what you mean. And curious as to what people might think of me and the fact that I always have a picture of one or all of my kids as my profile pic. My family all lives out of state, and I know they'd rather see recent pictures of my kids than some random picture of me.

Soleil3 · January 2013

peanut+muse:
Soleil3:
peanut+muse:
Soleil3:
peanut+muse:
Soleil3:
I find judging a parents level of obsession ridiculous.nbsp;
I am sure you are speaking to me, so to this I will respond... if a person cannot carry on a conversation without bringing up their child EVER, even if it is completely unrelated to the conversation, it causes problems in their relationships. Pathological obsession toward anything is not a good or healthy thing.
You brought it up but I think a couple people agreed? I think assuming what causes problems in someone else's relationships is a stretch too. As well as determining someone has a pathological obsession based off their Facebook acct or the fact they don't want their kid to spend the night elsewhere. It's a odd thing to judge, to me. Of all the things I judge, loving your kid TOO much isn't one of them.
Also, I'm not basing my comment off one friend of a friend someone has, but in general.
First of all, you are assuming that I haven't had many conversations with people about the specific person I was referring to -- which I have. Many, many times. It's a constant worry for us.
Second, you are making another assumption -- that my determination of pathological obsession is related to FB only. Which it's not. This is a person that I see at least 3 times a week. She is my best friend's sister. I have known her for over 30 years.
Third, I never mentioned anything about loving a child too much. The word "love" never even entered any of my posts. There is a HUGE difference between love and obsession.

I'm not making any assumptions, which is why I stated I'm not talking about a friend or random person someone knows, IE your friend. Obviously someone can be pathologically obsessed, I just don't feel that not letting their kid sleep over places is a sign of that.
Do you have kids?
You were making assumptions about what I said, don't try to backpedal. You made specific references to things that I said.
No, I don't have any kids, not until August. That does not mean I am not entitled to an opinion about anything relating to kids. Please don't be so condescending as to say I might change my mind. You don't know me at all, and that would just be another assumption on your part.
For the record, I admitted that I am tainted by this particular friend's obsession with her child so I assume that other people who only have FB profile pics of only their kid(s) are also obsessed or insecure. To expand on that, I freely admit that it is an assumption that isn't necessarily based on reality. But it is what crosses my mind when I see it happen. That's what happens in life.
Disagreements also happen. Such is life.

I'm not backtracking, I wasn't ever commenting on your specific situation, that's silly. Why would I know anything about your friend? I was commenting specifically on the fact keeping your kids home doesn't equal pathological obsession, period. That's all I intended to discuss.

I asked if you had kids because for me, obsession and love were very blurry lines when they were newborns. I was obsessed with this tiny little being I made I wasn't quite in love yet though, it's hard to explain. Maybe you'll see what I mean, or maybe not, I hear its different for every mum Actually at 3 and 5 I'm still pretty obsessed in love with my kids.

I'm sorry if you felt I insinuated your opinion was irrelevant.

peanutmuse · January 2013

megaboosmom:
Insecure about what? Just curious as to what you mean. And curious as to what people might think of me and the fact that I always have a picture of one or all of my kids as my profile pic. My family all lives out of state, and I know they'd rather see recent pictures of my kids than some random picture of me.

Honestly, I assume that a person is insecure about her appearance. And I am totally aware that it is an assumption. But, as I said, I'm just being honest about what crosses my mind.

peanutmuse · January 2013

Soleil3:

I asked if you had kids because for me, obsession and love were very blurry lines when they were newborns. I was obsessed with this tiny little being I made I wasn't quite in love yet though, it's hard to explain. Maybe you'll see what I mean, or maybe not, I hear its different for every mum Actually at 3 and 5 I'm still pretty obsessed in love with my kids.
I'm sorry if you felt I insinuated your opinion was irrelevant.

That is an interesting thing to hear (read, I guess). I've never actually heard anyone say anything like that. Sure, I've heard mothers say they were obsessed. But most of them also say they fell in love immediately. I am intrigued by this.

Anyway, no harm done. We have different opinions about certain things. It happens. It makes life more interesting!

megaboosmom · January 2013

somebodysmama21:
Wow I am late to the party I was going to share something unrelated but I will comment on what has been said. That is I amnbsp;obsessed with my family being DHs wife and DDs mom and I dont think there is anything wrong with it. I had plenty of time to enjoy things being all about me prior to her and will have plenty of time again when she is grown. Why wish away the time I do have? My conversations with adults are most often at moms groups. DH and I make time for a date night once a month which is really all we can afford anyway. And when I need it I will plan a night of games and movies with girlfriends we aren't the going out type or just ask DH to take care of DD so I can hole up with a bubble bath, a good book, and some chocolate. But for the most part I enjoynbsp;identifyingnbsp;as a wife and mom. I don't feel it is fair to judge those of us who feel that way. Just like I don't judge those moms/wives who spend more time onnbsp;their selvesnbsp;or their careers than I do. Everyone finds the balance that is good for them.nbsp;As far as sleepovers, we might allow some when DD is 810, but you haven't the slightest idea how many calls my DH goes on to take report of a child having gone to a slumber party or an uncle and aunts house or even a grandparents house and were molested. I am sorry but my 'independence' is not worth risking my child's safety. I totally trust my family but that is the problem people rarely send their kids places they don't trust yet it happens all the time. I plan on hosting as many sleepovers as DD wants but I will be overly protective and I don't care who that bothers.Lastly I have a lot of family out of town and I add pictures of DD to FB all the time for them to see her grow. I more side eye the people who have kids and yet have more pictures of them drunk all of over their facebook then a day at the park or something. I guess I feel that once you are a parent your life goes on hold for a while.. Like I said everyone finds their own degree of independence from their family it works for each of us.

Yes! All of this!

Soleil3 · January 2013

peanut+muse:
Soleil3:

I asked if you had kids because for me, obsession and love were very blurry lines when they were newborns. I was obsessed with this tiny little being I made I wasn't quite in love yet though, it's hard to explain. Maybe you'll see what I mean, or maybe not, I hear its different for every mum Actually at 3 and 5 I'm still pretty obsessed in love with my kids.
I'm sorry if you felt I insinuated your opinion was irrelevant.
That is an interesting thing to hear (read, I guess). I've never actually heard anyone say anything like that. Sure, I've heard mothers say they were obsessed. But most of them also say they fell in love immediately. I am intrigued by this.
Anyway, no harm done. We have different opinions about certain things. It happens. It makes life more interesting!

It took me a while to be comfortable admitting it, to be honest. I didn't have ppd, but I never got that instant OMG I'm in love! feeling you see on TV with any of my kids, and I judged myself harshly for awhile. I can't even point out when I fell in love, I just realized that I was one day. But I read recently that it's a pretty common response, there are so many other things going on in the first couple months, relief the pregnancy is over, apprehension of a new life or adding another, sleep deprivation, worry about sleep/ feeding/ misc baby issues. I feel more comfortable calling the first few months obsession rather than love.

peanutmuse · January 2013

Soleil3:

It took me a while to be comfortable admitting it, to be honest. I didn't have ppd, but I never got that instant OMG I'm in love! feeling you see on TV with any of my kids, and I judged myself harshly for awhile. I can't even point out when I fell in love, I just realized that I was one day. But I read recently that it's a pretty common response, there are so many other things going on in the first couple months, relief the pregnancy is over, apprehension of a new life or adding another, sleep deprivation, worry about sleep/ feeding/ misc baby issues. I feel more comfortable calling the first few months obsession rather than love. : nbsp;

Fantastic story. Thank you for sharing that.

Kay522 · January 2013

Speaking of FB, I think it is weird when moms to be (and sometimes dads to be) use their u/s as their profile picture. I also get annoyed when women show off their bump every week on FB.

MrsBlindLove · January 2013

I'm not sure who to quote because there have been so many, but one of the FB friends said "I am friends with you not your kid. I don't know your kid." to all those people who ONLY post pictures of their kids and have their kids as their FB profile picture.

While I understand the "my family lives far away and want to see pictures of my kids" because we are in the same boat and it makes sense to use facebook. I don't understand why your profile picture is necessary. A family picture is fine IMO but only your kids? Hmm

kittyh8r · January 2013

MrsBlindLove:
I'm not sure who to quote because there have been so many, but one of the FB friends said "I am friends with you not your kid. I don't know your kid." to all those people who ONLY post pictures of their kids and have their kids as their FB profile picture.
While I understand the "my family lives far away and want to see pictures of my kids" because we are in the same boat and it makes sense to use facebook. I don't understand why your profile picture is necessary. A family picture is fine IMO but only your kids?

My daughter is MUCH cuter than I am. (: I didn't realize this was a thing. I have a boat load of friends who are moms, the majority of them have children as their profile picture. I think it's sweet. I am SO proud to be a mom. I am also SO proud at how adorable DD is. Therefore, she is my profile picture. If DH and I get a good picture of us taken I use it, but for the most part...it's all DD. (:

megaboosmom · January 2013

MrsBlindLove:
I'm not sure who to quote because there have been so many, but one of the FB friends said "I am friends with you not your kid. I don't know your kid." to all those people who ONLY post pictures of their kids and have their kids as their FB profile picture. While I understand the "my family lives far away and want to see pictures of my kids" because we are in the same boat and it makes sense to use facebook. I don't understand why your profile picture is necessary. A family picture is fine IMO but only your kids?nbsp;

What difference does it make? Who's paying that much attention to profile pics anyway? I think it's weird and arrogant for people to have a zillion pictures of themselves, especially when they take them themselves. Is it also weird to have a pet or a landscape/scenery photo as a profile pic? I see a lot of those. I think it's weirder for someone to have her cat as her profile pic than her child.

Mrs JillB · January 2013

Soleil3:
peanut+muse:
Soleil3:
 
I asked if you had kids because for me, obsession and love were very blurry lines when they were newborns. I was obsessed with this tiny little being I made I wasn't quite in love yet though, it's hard to explain. Maybe you'll see what I mean, or maybe not, I hear its different for every mum  Actually at 3 and 5 I'm still pretty obsessed in love with my kids. 
I'm sorry if you felt I insinuated your opinion was irrelevant.  
That is an interesting thing to hear (read, I guess). I've never actually heard anyone say anything like that. Sure, I've heard mothers say they were obsessed. But most of them also say they fell in love immediately. I am intrigued by this.
Anyway, no harm done. We have different opinions about certain things. It happens. It makes life more interesting!
It took me a while to be comfortable admitting it, to be honest. I didn't have ppd, but I never got that instant OMG I'm in love! feeling you see on TV with any of my kids, and I judged myself harshly for awhile. I can't even point out when I fell in love, I just realized that I was one day. But I read recently that it's a pretty common response, there are so many other things going on in the first couple months, relief the pregnancy is over, apprehension of a new life or adding another, sleep deprivation, worry about sleep/ feeding/ misc baby issues. I feel more comfortable calling the first few months obsession rather than love.  

I felt the exact same way. It wasn't love at first sight for me. DS was basically a stranger. I love him more than I ever thought I could love someone else now, though. No ppd here either.

BlueJewelM · January 2013

My facebook profile picture is a family picture. Which is pretty rare for me, I usually have just a picture of me. Mostly because profile pictures are public and I do not like to have any photos of DS public.

I'm not super into posting pics of DS on facebook. I use email to show pictures to family. I read this article a while back and it really got me thinking about the online presence I want my child(ren) to have regardless of my privacy settings.I don't feel its fair to them.

https://www.cnn.com/2012/05/25/opinion/sultan-miller-facebook-parenting/index.html

darjeeling · January 2013

somebodysmama21:
Wow I am late to the party I was going to share something unrelated but I will comment on what has been said. That is I amnbsp;obsessed with my family being DHs wife and DDs mom and I dont think there is anything wrong with it. I had plenty of time to enjoy things being all about me prior to her and will have plenty of time again when she is grown. Why wish away the time I do have? My conversations with adults are most often at moms groups. DH and I make time for a date night once a month which is really all we can afford anyway. And when I need it I will plan a night of games and movies with girlfriends we aren't the going out type or just ask DH to take care of DD so I can hole up with a bubble bath, a good book, and some chocolate. But for the most part I enjoynbsp;identifyingnbsp;as a wife and mom. I don't feel it is fair to judge those of us who feel that way. Just like I don't judge those moms/wives who spend more time onnbsp;their selvesnbsp;or their careers than I do. Everyone finds the balance that is good for them.nbsp;As far as sleepovers, we might allow some when DD is 810, but you haven't the slightest idea how many calls my DH goes on to take report of a child having gone to a slumber party or an uncle and aunts house or even a grandparents house and were molested. I am sorry but my 'independence' is not worth risking my child's safety. I totally trust my family but that is the problem people rarely send their kids places they don't trust yet it happens all the time. I plan on hosting as many sleepovers as DD wants but I will be overly protective and I don't care who that bothers.Lastly I have a lot of family out of town and I add pictures of DD to FB all the time for them to see her grow. I more side eye the people who have kids and yet have more pictures of them drunk all of over their facebook then a day at the park or something. I guess I feel that once you are a parent your life goes on hold for a while.. Like I said everyone finds their own degree of independence from their family it works for each of us.

TL;DR

kittyh8r · January 2013

darjeeling:
somebodysmama21:
Wow I am late to the party I was going to share something unrelated but I will comment on what has been said. That is I amnbsp;obsessed with my family being DHs wife and DDs mom and I dont think there is anything wrong with it. I had plenty of time to enjoy things being all about me prior to her and will have plenty of time again when she is grown. Why wish away the time I do have? My conversations with adults are most often at moms groups. DH and I make time for a date night once a month which is really all we can afford anyway. And when I need it I will plan a night of games and movies with girlfriends we aren't the going out type or just ask DH to take care of DD so I can hole up with a bubble bath, a good book, and some chocolate. But for the most part I enjoynbsp;identifyingnbsp;as a wife and mom. I don't feel it is fair to judge those of us who feel that way. Just like I don't judge those moms/wives who spend more time onnbsp;their selvesnbsp;or their careers than I do. Everyone finds the balance that is good for them.nbsp;As far as sleepovers, we might allow some when DD is 810, but you haven't the slightest idea how many calls my DH goes on to take report of a child having gone to a slumber party or an uncle and aunts house or even a grandparents house and were molested. I am sorry but my 'independence' is not worth risking my child's safety. I totally trust my family but that is the problem people rarely send their kids places they don't trust yet it happens all the time. I plan on hosting as many sleepovers as DD wants but I will be overly protective and I don't care who that bothers.Lastly I have a lot of family out of town and I add pictures of DD to FB all the time for them to see her grow. I more side eye the people who have kids and yet have more pictures of them drunk all of over their facebook then a day at the park or something. I guess I feel that once you are a parent your life goes on hold for a while.. Like I said everyone finds their own degree of independence from their family it works for each of us.
TL;DR

For someone who wanted "further communication" you're doing a pretty bad job.

darjeeling · January 2013

EmmaBoBemma:
darjeeling:
somebodysmama21:
Wow I am late to the party I was going to share something unrelated but I will comment on what has been said. That is I amnbsp;obsessed with my family being DHs wife and DDs mom and I dont think there is anything wrong with it. I had plenty of time to enjoy things being all about me prior to her and will have plenty of time again when she is grown. Why wish away the time I do have? My conversations with adults are most often at moms groups. DH and I make time for a date night once a month which is really all we can afford anyway. And when I need it I will plan a night of games and movies with girlfriends we aren't the going out type or just ask DH to take care of DD so I can hole up with a bubble bath, a good book, and some chocolate. But for the most part I enjoynbsp;identifyingnbsp;as a wife and mom. I don't feel it is fair to judge those of us who feel that way. Just like I don't judge those moms/wives who spend more time onnbsp;their selvesnbsp;or their careers than I do. Everyone finds the balance that is good for them.nbsp;As far as sleepovers, we might allow some when DD is 810, but you haven't the slightest idea how many calls my DH goes on to take report of a child having gone to a slumber party or an uncle and aunts house or even a grandparents house and were molested. I am sorry but my 'independence' is not worth risking my child's safety. I totally trust my family but that is the problem people rarely send their kids places they don't trust yet it happens all the time. I plan on hosting as many sleepovers as DD wants but I will be overly protective and I don't care who that bothers.Lastly I have a lot of family out of town and I add pictures of DD to FB all the time for them to see her grow. I more side eye the people who have kids and yet have more pictures of them drunk all of over their facebook then a day at the park or something. I guess I feel that once you are a parent your life goes on hold for a while.. Like I said everyone finds their own degree of independence from their family it works for each of us.
TL;DR
 
For someone who wanted "further communication" you're doing a pretty bad job.  

actuellement, I said I gave up on said efforts to communicate. Therefore, job completion is now exceeding expected standards. :]

And sm21, your UO doesn't really qualify as an UO. Just sayin ;]

Bakes4u · January 2013

EmmaBoBemma:
bakes4u:
EmmaBoBemma:
bakes4u:
EmmaBoBemma:
I judge parents all the time for their parenting choices. Examples: Giving your child below the age of 5 cough syrup, and talking on the phone while in a busy place with a toddler walking by your side. My IL's are the worst at all this stuff.nbsp;
It must be nice to be the perfect parent
It's SO nice being perfect.
It must be nice to be the perfect human.
Seriously though, judging is human nature and this is an UO thread. get.over.it.
Oh boo hoo. Your wit is overwhelming me.
I wish I was you.

Bakes4u · January 2013

ColeRose:
EmmaBoBemma:
bakes4u:
EmmaBoBemma:
bakes4u:
EmmaBoBemma:
I judge parents all the time for their parenting choices. Examples: Giving your child below the age of 5 cough syrup, and talking on the phone while in a busy place with a toddler walking by your side. My IL's are the worst at all this stuff.nbsp;
It must be nice to be the perfect parent
It's SO nice being perfect.
It must be nice to be the perfect human.
Seriously though, judging is human nature and this is an UO thread. get.over.it.
Oh boo hoo. Your wit is overwhelming me.
I wish I was you.
That is what they say...

OMG I just lost my ***...you.are.awesome.

Want a personalized experience?

~UO Thursday~

Re: ~UO Thursday~

Choose Another Board

Search Boards