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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
camedowncrushing
member
Only sleeping 9 hours at night (xp breastfeeding)
camedowncrushing
member
DD (15.5 months) has never been a great sleeper, but shortly after I night weaned her at 12 months she was sleeping about 10-10.5 hours at night. She would sleep another hour to 2 during her nap.
Three weeks ago she started waking in the night . She would cry, and ask for milk. I wouldn't nurse her, and she would get really upset. Eventually (an hour to two later) she would go back to sleep. She would then start her day at 4am. She is totally crabby in the morning about an hour after she wakes. She is clingy and tired and wants to nurse all day long. She will nap at 7ish for a half our, and then around 1 for an hour. I know she needs more sleep, but I don't know what to do.
I have tried Ferber for the night wakings, and the early rising without success. I have let her cry it out without me going in there for up to 45 minutes, and she just screams. I then give in to get her and nurse. I just feel so awful. This morning she woke at 3:30. I checked on her to make sure she was okay, and just told her it was sleepy time. She screamed and screamed for 45 minutes. I thought she was going to throw up.
I was hoping this was a short phase, but it has been 3 weeks. She did have a dr appointment right at the start of this, and I mentioned that we had a rough couple of nights. The pedi checked her ears, and they were just fine.
Should I be worried that she isn't getting enough sleep? Should I just suck it up and get up at 4? Is this common? Any advice is appreciated.
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Re: Only sleeping 9 hours at night (xp breastfeeding)
We night weaned at 9 months, but I remember it being difficult and him still waking up a lot. Are you making sure she really isn't hungry? She might have just become used to actually eating at night. I'd try giving her a snack and a cup of milk right before bed and see if it helps.
I'm confused. You wanted to night wean but you are still nursing her in the middle of the night? It sounds like you are sending her mixed messages - you'll nurse her if she screams enough.
Like others said, she may be hungry or just thirsty, but if you're going to night wean completely, then you need to be super consistent. Offer her water in the middle of the night, and remind her when she can nurse again (morning?). You might find a toddler clock useful here so she can see what color it is, and learn that when it changes colors to mark the morning (say, 7am?), then she can get up and nurse, but not until then.
Does your DH ever go in and try to soothe her at night? I wonder if she smells milk on you (and knows you'll offer it) and that just incites her more. If he'll help, have him take several nights in a row and Ferberize.
I also have to wonder if you're giving up too soon. I know that sounds a bit insane as 45 minutes is a long time, but I wonder if she knows you'll eventually come in and keeps going because of it. My son is equally "determined" and I had to find the point where he'd just crash without me going in. Intervals do not work with him, even long ones. Rather, they incite him into more vigorous and lengthy crying. He did, however, respond fairly quickly to this method once I let him fully cry it out. The first night was the longest and then it started getting better.
I do have to say that the one thing that really helped me to have an easier time with hardcore sleep training was weaning completely. The hormones that come with BFing made it so much more difficult for me to deal with the crying, especially at night when I was already exhausted. Your body has a hormonal response to the crying. I'm not suggesting you wean, but I do suggest that you recognize it for what a lot of it is - hormones. Once I did that, I found it a lot easier to deal with the crying. With that, I was able to help him to get more sleep and I have a much happier baby (and I'm much happier) as a result.
GL. Sleep training is really hard.
Are you opposed to a sippy cup of water? I do that with my LO. She's up once a night more nights than not (but it goes in phases). All she wants is a sippy refill. I give it to her. We're all back to bed in six seconds. It's only water and not worth the battle for me.
As for the weaning, I agree with the mixed messages responses. Kids are smart. If you give in even once, they learn fast you will and not give up until you do.
We night weaned at 14 months and waited so long because that was when DD seemed to be ready -- she was eating enough solids during the day and sleeping longer stretches at night. I finally felt the eating was just habit (though I don't doubt she was hungry since she was used to eating. We moved dinner a little later to 5:45pm and made sure she had good carbs and protein to help keep her full. We did the progressively later feeding that Ferber suggests --- so she was eating around 3am and every night (only took 4-5) I waited another 30 mins (3:30, 4:00, 4:30) before I'd feed her and in that time I was waiting DH would do intervals if she was really worked up. Once we got the feeding to 5am we just cut it out since she wakes for the day at 5:30/6:00 anyway. Prior to 14 months I was inconsistent so it was hard to expect her to give it up.
We are still nursing 3x a day and we are both happier with more sleep. I should say too my DD is not typically a 12hour sleeper either.
Ha ha ha...yes at this point I guess I am nursing her in the middle of the night. I don't mean to be! When she was getting up at 5am I considered 5am to be morning. When she wakes at 12, 1, 2 , or 3 am however many times that happens I do not nurse her, but by 4am if she has been crying since just after 3 I do give up. We start our day though at that point. So we nurse, and then get up get changed and play.
I have offered her water, and she gets MADDER. She also gets even more mad when DH gets in. She starts screaming, and pointing to the door. It is really awful. It just makes me feel so horrible because I know how much she just wants milk.
Thanks so much for the advice on the clock! I will be purchasing one immediately.
She gets really upset when DH goes in. I think that is my own fault since I always went in toher at night because she wanted to nurse!
Thanks for the kind words, and support.
I am having a hard time with this. I really want to get my period back so we can start trying for another baby, and I was hoping when she was night weaned I would get it back. I haven't yet, and maybe if I can eliminate these early early feedings it will come back. Of course this makes me feel selfish.