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Single Parents
Salleybelle
member
I may be joining you...
Salleybelle
member
My husband and I have been married since April 2011. We had a baby boy born in Sept. 2012. Lately, we have been having issues. It's gotten so bad we have discussed divorcing. I am scared to be a single mom. Since we had the baby, we moved states and he has gotten a better job, but now I only work part-time (at the same company), and make about $600 less a paycheck. I would obviously move and try to get my old job back, if possible. I am just so unsure of myself. Is being a single mom something I can do? I know every situation varies, but for those of you who are divorced, can you please shed some light on how life is after the divorce VS before the divorce?
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Re: I may be joining you...
My divorce is fairly new; it's only been final for 4 months. We agreed on all the terms prior to divorcing regarding property, debt, custody, etc. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately), I'm the one who makes more so moving into a new place with rent higher than our mortgage and paying most of the child related expenses has been a little less of a financial strain that it would be for him. Because it was amicable for the most part, it hasn't been nearly as hard as I would have imagined. But that doesn't mean it's easy either. We have argued about finances, parenting time, parenting style, pretty much anything else you can imagine, but we are trying to remain on good terms for DS's sake. If you are discussing divorce, it sounds like you are both mature enough to come to some sort of agreement and try to work though it like adults. That's the best advice that I can give: regardless of how you feel about him, make sure that you are staying in control to make it as easy as possible. Fighting about custody or property or anything like that will just make life harder for YOU.
Whatever happens, good luck and know that you have resources at your disposal. My counselor has been the best ally I've had in this situation. It really helps to have a 3rd party out there to give me perspective when I really feel like I'm going to lose it. Also, my state requires a parenting class prior to finalizing child custody/support orders. Check to see if your state has something similar in place. I got some GREAT information from there about what I could and could not do and expect.