Stay at Home Moms

Questions for you all from newly pregnant woman

Hi everyone,

 I'm newly pregnant but it looks like I *might* be able to join your group when our LO is born. I currently work from home, but the business I'm working for is being sold late this year so I will be unemployed around the time of labor. So far the idea is that I will stay home and look after our baby, though of course everything could change.

 A problem I'm facing right now that I needed advice on; Talking to friends is becoming harder and harder because I feel crazy spoiled and a couple of friends have even rolled their eyes and zoned out when they asked how I was feeling and I said "fine, except I sleep, like, 14 hours a day and can barely get off the couch!" This particular girl has to work 50 hours a week and had just finished complaining about it to me. I felt so stupid, but then realized it sucks having to walk on egg shells when I talk about working from home or not working when the baby comes.

 Have any of you had this problem with your friends who work (who have kids or don't)? Any advice?

BFP December 5th + MMC 1/18/2013

Re: Questions for you all from newly pregnant woman

  • Hi! Congrats on your pregnancy :) 

    I think when you're talking to a friend who hasn't been pregnant, it's best just to keep the pregnancy talk to a minimum. Those who haven't been there just don't understand, especially when it comes that special kind of exhaustion that making a human gives you. Even though we find every stage of our pregnancy exciting and interesting, few other people do.... that's just how it is.

    Sorry your friends aren't being as supportive as they could be (what kind of a friend rolls their eyes like that??) though!  


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  • You shouldn't feel stupid.  It's not like you were bragging about how much sleep you get.  She asked how you were feeling - and THAT'S how it feels to be newly pregnant!  I didn't enjoy the amount of sleep I got in the beginning.  I would fall in the door, pale and sick, and go to bed immediately.  If I had to lie about that to my friend, I wouldn't consider them much of a friend.
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  • I have a friend who thinks I am going to stay home because 1) my husband makes a lot of money (not really) and 2) I'll be on permanent vacation.  I am staying home b/c it is best for our baby and marriage.  I understand it will be challenging at times, for various reasons and I am prepared to maybe miss working, "having adult conversations", "contribute financially", etc.  I consider it to be my next career.  I don't talk to her about it at all anymore.
  • If I were your friend, I would be annoyed too. If I were working many hours (pregnant or not) and wanted to vent about it,  the last thing I'd want to hear about is someone whining over sleeping 14 hours and not getting off their couch all day.

    Your response to "how are you feeling" should have simply been "tired". No one needs that much detail.

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  • imageKC_13:

    If I were your friend, I would be annoyed too. If I were working many hours (pregnant or not) and wanted to vent about it,  the last thing I'd want to hear about is someone whining over sleeping 14 hours and not getting off their couch all day.

    Your response to "how are you feeling" should have simply been "tired". No one needs that much detail.

    I have to agree with this. 

    image Mommy to Barbara 11/8/05, Elisabeth 5/13/07, Loukas 12/23/08 and Lazarus 09/25/12
  • In general, when someone asks how a pregnant woman is doing, they don't want an in depth answer including the status of your cervix, how many times a day you barf, etc.

    Also, it is kind of rude to tell someone working 50+ hours a week that you sleep 14 hours a day. There are pregnant women who work 50+ hours a week that would love to sleep 14 hours a day.

    Being newly pregnant is fun and exciting and consumes your whole world for awhile. I get that. But it's not as important to your friends as you probably think it is =)


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