Intro... and a Question

wither16 · December 2012

Been lurking for a while...We had one successful IVF and a gorgeous lil boy to show for it. We are turning our journey to adoption.

My question stims more from my personal history of being adopted myself. My mom did not have any IF issues, she just had a heart to adopt. That is how I was raised, and even before I faced my own IF journey, I knew that adoption would be how I grew my family.

My question- I personally do not know anyone who adopted just because it was in their heart, aside from my own parents. Everyone else that I know IRL, has IF issues related to their decision to adopt. (not that there is anything wrong with this obviously)

I was just wondering if there were any people on here who were able to have children, but chose adoption instead, if you don't mind sharing. Just my own personal curiosity. I would love to hear some of your stories.

Thanks, I am hoping to learn a lot, and will have a ton more questions as we move to "officially" start our journey.

maryoosa · December 2012

Perhaps I don't count, because I stopped trying to have children--- but from the time I was six years old, I knew I would adopt. I *never* really wanted to be pregnant. We started to think about adoption and then when we saw the costs, we tried to get pregnant, largely because it was way more affordable than adoption. We tried twice with a midwife in unmedicated cycles (we're queer so there was no change of "normal" conception), and twice with a reproductive endocrinologist and loads of medicine. The doctor was pretty confident that we'd eventually be able to conceive through IUI with meds; however, we made the decision to pursue adoption because it's a way better fit for us.

wither16 · December 2012

Thanks for sharing! That sounds a lot like me, I knew that adoption was in our future, and our IF happened to be a by product. In my mind, the 2 situations are not related, since I would have come to the same end result no matter, and it sounds like that is what you have encountered as well. It's so encouraging to hear others stories, and the different steps we take to all get to the same end.

elissaann26 · December 2012

We don't exactly fit your scenario, but we decided to become foster parents before we tried to have bio kids. We have no clue about our fertility, but it didn't feel "right" to try to get pregnant. But adoption didn't feel "right" either. But becoming foster parents did! So that is what we pursued. We had our first placement this year (two brothers- 5yo and 2yo), who were recently reunified with their birth family. Now we are back to the decision board of if/how/when we'll have kids in our life.

We both had a few acquaintances who were adopted growing up and always talked about this option when we were dating. DH did some foster care policy work professionally and I found some foster mom blogs that really touched me. These experiences is how foster care was added to our discussions initially.

ellekae · December 2012

Hi there! You aren't alone! DH and I had no struggles to conceive our DD; we just felt called to adopt LO #2 instead of TTC.

alphalyrae · December 2012

I've never actually intro-ed, so I hope no one minds my continuous lurking and occasional replying. DH and I are newly married and newly TTC. However, ever since I was a little girl, I've been confident that I would adopt. I grew up roman catholic and had a very close relationship with my faith and even now that I'm/we are not practicing, the only explanation I have for our path is that it's intended by god. When I met my husband, I learned that his grandfather's brother and wife had adopted their three children and that he was open to adopting but would like to have at least one bio child if possible as he is the last male in his genetic line. We won't be actively pursuing adoption for about 6 years, but we've all ready started our research and if Russia maintains their US Adoption ban, we'll have to see where god calls us next.

[Deleted User] · December 2012

The user and all related content has been deleted.

dholsapp · December 2012

Similar story here to the others. I told my mom when I was about 7 or 8 that I knew I would adopt my children. We did try IF treatments but that was mainly because DH wasn't ready for the idea of adoption yet, but I always knew it would end up being our path!

Ginger71 · December 2012

Welcome to the board!

We are IF but it was always our intention to TTC # 1 and adopt #2 before we knew any of that.(I am 41 now and we started IVF when I was 37) We knew we were getting older and it would be harder and I was also afraid being pg would make my crohn's disease worse. I just really wanted to be pg. I wanted to feel my baby kick and breastfeed at least once.

My best friend growing up was adopted and another good friend was adopted and has a sister the same age becasue her Mom got pg when she was matched with her. I always thought it was a great way to have a family....combining both.

Wishing you lots of luck and looking forward to getting to know you

AwBeth · December 2012

Welcome!

I have always been interested in adoption. We had family friends that adopted growing up, both domestically and internationally. I also went on several mission trips, so the idea/desire for international adoption was planted then. We had our first two biological kiddos without much trouble (tried for 4-5 months each time). We always thought we'd adopt "someday" after our bios were older, but we prayed about it, talked with other families, and read several books. articles, and message boards and eventually decided that now was the time. We reasoned that we've always wanted to have a large family, and there are kids in this world that need a family, so adoption was the choice for us.

davidandheather · December 2012

We have always known that we would adopt, but tried on our own first and did struggle.. The doctors never told us we can't, but I eventually quit trying when I lost the desire to be pregnant anymore and wanted to listen to the call to adoption more than anything else.

I think Jillian puts it into the best words

Turns out, there is no such thing as ?just? adopting. Adoption is much less of a ?sure we?ll do that? and more of a ?my entire being has been raptured by this conviction? kind of a decision.

wither16 · December 2012

I love that quote! So many other people put it into words so much better than I can. Thank you for sharing your stories!

ladyharper · December 2012

I hadn't thought a lot about adoption, although there have been adoptions in my and my husband's extended families. Now that our second child is on the way, it suddenly has become very much a calling for my husband and me. We have a son with inherited congenital cataracts and our second son has a 50% chance of having the same condition when he is born. My husband was suggesting adoption prior to having our second child because he feels guilty about passing cataracts on to his children, but I didn't like that as a sole reason to adopt...I mean, he turned out great, and although it is a nagging problem, it is not as much of a problem for our son as it has been for my husband.

After having worse problems with my hypoglycemia this pregnancy than last, however, I do feel that adoption is a better option for us now. We would like three or four children, but I don't feel that it's fair to our current child(ren) to have a mother who is barely able to function for nearly a year to have the family that we want. Since we have experience and good resources for the lighter end of visual special needs, we are open to a child with them, which we know is not the case for many people.

It really does feel like some sort of calling to me...my feelings and thoughts were so suddenly engaged by the idea, and I was so relieved when my husband shared my enthusiasm. It is going to take us longer than we want it to, but at least we are in it together.

Intro... and a Question

Re: Intro... and a Question

Choose Another Board

Search Boards